Fireflies
By Shauna Kayleen Brock
Pairing: Technically, this is CJ/OMC. But, you'll get hints of CJ/Simon and CJ/Hoynes and even, maybe, a reference to the past CJ had with Toby.
Rating: I always label all of my stories Mature/Adult because I never know what's going to get written as the chapters go along.
A/N: Technically, this is A/U. We all know that CJ doesn't have a kid. But, as in all my writing, I do my best to keep the storyline as cannon as possible, so, I'm hoping that by the end of this, you'll have forgotten the cannon.
While not songfic, the inspiration for this series came after listening to Tori Amos' "The Beekeeper" album, specifically, the song Ribbons Undone.
Disclaimer: CJ Cregg is not mine, nor for that matter is Simon Donovan, Josh Lyman, Jed Bartlet, Toby Zeigler, or any of the other West Wing characters that show up in this story. Those characters were created by Aaron Sorkin and John Wells currently owns the rights and I only get to take them out and play on occasion and I don't make any money doing it. Elizabeth Cregg, Michael Bell, and any other original characters, however, are mine. Please respect them as such – after all, I don't make any money with these characters either.
Chapter One: Sleeps With Butterflies
Something was different. Suzanne didn't know what triggered the feeling, or why, but something was different. Even in the way her husband slept, something was different. Slowly, she walked into the bedroom and looked around for something … she wasn't sure what but when it jumped out at her, she'd know. But everything was in place, right where it was supposed to be.
John stirred and she stilled, looking over at him. Her husband never slept on his back, he hated it, always claimed he couldn't sleep unless he was on his stomach or on his side. But there he was, the sheet tugged up to his waist, sleeping on his back, and his right arm flung out across the bed. In the dim light his already tanned skin was seemed smoother, and the hair on his chest called out for her to run her fingers through it. But something stopped her from waking him. Something wasn't right.
Trusting the light from the hall to guide her way, she searched the room silently, still not sure what she was looking for, still not sure that it would indeed call out to her when she had found it. The hamper was empty – the cleaning already taken by Maria for the day. She'd also dusted, changed the towels, and even set up new curtains to mark the New Year. Everything was perfect.
"Suzie?" John Hoynes rolled over and opened sleepy eyes. "What time is it?"
"Around eleven." Taking a deep breath, she turned and walked over to the bed. When John's fingers linked with hers, the feeling intensified, just for a moment, and then began to fade away. By the time his lips touched hers, she was chiding herself for her suspicions. As his arms snaked around her, welcoming her back to DC from her time at the ranch with the boys, the feeling dissipated like steam after a shower. And later, as John lay on his back, his right arm slung around her, holding her close against his body, she chalked the feeling up to the tricks of the moon and her own exhaustion from the flight.
January 3, 1994
New York City, NY
(2 days prior)
CJ Cregg was bored. It didn't happen often, especially at parties such as this, but she was definitely, out of her mind, beyond all reasoning, bored. For an event that she'd helped to organize, this was simply the single most boring party she'd ever been to. Of course, the Senators and Representatives were all having a fantastic time, and the fundraisers and lobbyists were lining their pockets and having legislation promised to them, but she was simply bored. Not even the champagne took the edge off tonight. She couldn't put her finger on it - the band was fantastic, the conversation was lively, but something was just out of place. Not one to admit that she believed in superstitions like the changing of the moon and the stars having an effect on one's mood, she blamed it easily on having spent the better part of the past three months talking to all of these people and their assistants. She was talked out. She loved politics, she loved these people but tonight she didn't want to know what they were working on, and she honestly didn't care. Yet, she still circled the room, laughing and charming every man (and more than a few of the women) into pulling out their checkbooks and writing another, larger check. The Democratic candidates loved it; the guests loved her.
Slowly she made her way to a crowd of Democratic congressmen and senators, smiling as they welcomed her into their circle.
"CJ!" Andrea Wyatt smiled at her fiancé's best friend. "Let me introduce you to some people I know you haven't met yet."
CJ chuckled and let Andi introduce her to a couple of freshmen congressmen, a sophomore Senator, and … her eyes locked with his. Her stomach churned and despite her sudden desire to focus on the champagne bubbles in her glass, she couldn't tear her gaze from his.
"John Hoynes, this is CJ Cregg, the media director for EMILY's List."
"A pleasure." CJ shook his hand firmly. "And, congratulations on your landslide victory."
"A pleasure to meet you as well, CJ."
The shiver moved from her stomach and ran up her spine when he said her name.
Blind to the obvious sparks flying between the Senator and Media Director, one of Andrea's congressional colleagues grabbed CJ's attention. "Ms. Cregg, why is it that EMILY's list continues to endorse candidates who have no chance of winning?"
CJ blinked, forcing herself to look away from John. "Well, Congressman Lewis, I don't know what to say to that completely false statement, as you are standing with two of our favorite candidates." She graced both Andi and John with her winning smile.
John laughed. "And I am quite glad for EMILY's List's endorsement." He took a step closer, still smiling at CJ, and she felt herself easily turn to stand directly next to him. The proximity, while innocent to some, sparked the heat that was running between the two of them.
With a smile, CJ glanced back over her shoulder at the Senator, "You could still be doing better on women's issues." CJ couldn't help but tease him, and the shivers were still traversing her body. Trying to step away was completely futile.
"Why, Miss Cregg, you came over here to chastise me?"
"I can if you like." She pulled away from his eyes and looked back at the group clustered around her.
John, somehow, took a playful step back. "No, Miss Cregg. Although I'm sure I'll be hearing from your offices soon enough on those very issues."
"Yes, you will." CJ laughed, but spied someone else she needed to talk to, and she welcomed the escape. John Hoynes was a married man and she knew that, and the chemistry was only in her head and created because she hadn't been with anyone in far too long. Her legitimate reason for tracking down Congresswoman Anderson allowed her to catch her breath – and to get another glass of champagne. She would drink this heat away. "If you will excuse me," she nodded to the group and slipped over to the other side of the ballroom. John tried to not make it too obvious he was watching her, but for the rest of the night, his eyes could always find her in the crowd.
Taking another flute of champagne, CJ pushed back a lock of her hair and made her way out to the balcony for some fresh air. What she had meant to be a fifteen-minute conversation with the Congresswoman had led to being trapped by her and ten of her constituents for forty-five minutes. January in Manhattan was pneumonia weather, but after the stifling air of the ballroom, she was glad for the nearly subzero temperature. The flu she'd contract later would make her regret coming out here in her spaghetti strap ball gown, but right now, it felt good to be away from the noise and air of the party.
A tuxedo jacket settled around her shoulders and she jumped at least five feet before turning around and looking into those entrancing green eyes. "Senator Hoynes," she smiled softly. "Um, thank you."
"You're welcome." John smiled warmly, doing his best to hide that he liked the way she looked tucked into his jacket like that. "What does CJ stand for anyway?"
She groaned at the oldest pickup line that men used with her. "Claudia Jean." And, as usual, she fell for it.
"Claudia …" The name rolled off his tongue and sent those shivers up her spine again.
He's married, Claudia Jean, stop thinking about what it would be like if he kissed you. She took a calming sip of her champagne, and a small step back. If she was standing any closer, she'd be in his arms, and that wouldn't look good on the cover of the Inquirer in the morning. "Did you have a good New Year, Senator?"
John smiled. "As good as playing politics can allow a new year to be."
She shared the smile, understanding completely. This was her third party in five days.
"I'm sorry for startling you a minute ago. You looked cold and I didn't want to see you get sick." He watched her mouth move to thank him, but he couldn't hear the words through the rush of air around him. The brilliance of her smile and the way it touched her eyes brought him a step closer to her. "The party is wonderful, Claudia Jean. I haven't seen so many happy colleagues in a long time."
From his vantage point at the bar near the balcony of the ballroom, Toby frowned as he looked for CJ. He couldn't find Hoynes either. An uneasy feeling settled into his stomach and a chill spread up his spine and across his body. He didn't like not knowing where CJ was – it was possessive and primitive, he knew, but he also worried. Especially lately. "What is it, Pokey?" Andi came up behind her fiancé and followed his gaze. Finding nothing, she looked back at him, an eyebrow quirked. That was his "CJ" face, and it always took every ounce of her self-control to keep her jealous demons at bay.
"Have you seen CJ, she's …"
His predictable question only gave Andi reason to roll her eyes. "Toby, she's doing her job and schmoozing important people. CJ's a big girl, sweetie, she doesn't need your approval to talk to someone."
He looked askance at Andi and sighed, seeing her jealousy. But she'd never understood his relationship with CJ. Wherever CJ was, she was doing more than talking and Toby knew it. He knew how she'd been feeling since her last break up with what's-his-name. No, this had the potential of ending very badly. "We should go grab her –"
"Toby." Andi sighed, wondering if he would ever put anyone else over CJ. If he didn't learn how to at least bring her up equal to the pedestal CJ was on by the time they married, she wasn't sure how long the marriage would last. "Toby Zeigler, I'm standing right here in a dress I bought for the express purpose of having you rip it off of me. The party is winding down and we have a hotel room reserved and waiting. Let CJ be an adult, for once, and you take me upstairs." Toby looked over at her, ready to argue, but he could only smile at the flare in her eyes. She was so beautiful, and he did love that dress – and decided to follow Andi's advice. But that nagging feeling in his stomach, a feeling he always got when CJ found a new man, just wouldn't let him be. Where the hell was she?
"The war chest coffers are full tonight."
"Yeah." John took a sip of his club soda and took a step closer to her, even while turning his attention out to the sculpture garden below them. "Can I ask why the belle of the ball is outside hiding?"
"Oh," she managed a flippant smile and tried to not stare at the lines of his muscles underneath his perfectly fitted tuxedo shirt. "I just needed some air. What about you, Senator? Shouldn't you be inside, schmoozing your way to a never ending war chest in preparation for your eventual presidential run?"
He chuckled. "I was out here hiding long before you were. This is my third fundraising dinner in five days. I've forgotten what my office looks like. My wife has just stopped coming - she wants to make sure the kids remember one of their parents."
At the mention of his wife, CJ took a small step back, trying to put a bit of distance between their hips. "Somewhere, in my apartment, there's a dog who thinks that his mommy is really the neighbor. I just pay rent to keep the roof over his head."
John chuckled, and stepped closer again, not quite sure what he was doing or why he was doing it. Never in his life had he thought about another woman other than Suzanne, but ever since he'd laid eyes on CJ Cregg tonight, he'd been wondering about the road he willingly chose to take after high school. He loved Suzanne, but she was all he'd ever known, and just the thought of seeing more of CJ made his blood race. He wasn't sure if it was the soft light from the ball room on her hair, the reflection of the garden fountain in her eyes, the curve of her fingers around the champagne flute, or just how sexy she looked there, in that low cut, high slit spaghetti strap dress, but he was entranced, and wanted more.
CJ didn't step back this time, even though she knew she should. But his eyes were still searching hers and he seemed so causal and comfortable there in just the tuxedo shirt - despite the chill in the air, and the way his long fingers curled around his glass made her wonder just would it would be like to have them curling up inside of her. What she was thinking was a bad idea - he was married, with children, and given his position and her position, they were bound to be discovered. Rumors circulated already that he was a womanizer; she didn't need to add to them. He was married, and she had her own feelings on women who pursued married men, but she couldn't look away from him.
In his mind, their lips were already touching and his hands were sliding up her thighs and under the dress - those legs had to be endless. But he just smiled at her, "Do you spend a lot of time up here in New York?"
"Not enough," she chuckled and contemplated stepping away from him. "I do like DC better."
"There is something special about that city." He nodded toward the stairs that led down into the gardens. "Care for a walk?"
CJ just looked at him for a long minute, wondering if he was this charming with all the women in his life. But her heart (and her libido) overruled and she nodded. "All right." Inside, the party dwindled down, and no one noticed the two of them slip down the stairs and into the shadowed garden.
"So," John offered her his arm when they reached the bottom, "is there a Mister Cregg?"
"My father and brothers," she laughed and leaned against him as they walked. "I remain single."
"A common trait with so many women in Washington. Why is that?" He felt her shiver slightly and the movement against his body sent heat through his veins. Standing this close to CJ, John didn't need the coat she was wearing.
"Because men are scared of smart, powerful, political women?" She shrugged, thinking of the words of her last boyfriend – before he'd run off with the German super model.
"That's idiocy. What's the point of having a partner in life if she isn't an equal?"
Detecting a hint of sadness in his tone, CJ looked at him carefully, "This is probably far too personal to ask, but is your wife an equal?"
He looked at her, and the air changed completely around them. What had been tense and sexual relaxed as she somehow managed to knock on a door in the wall that surrounded his heart. Without even thinking, he let her in. "For some reason it isn't too personal. Maybe it's because we're strangers." He diverted his eyes back to the path so they wouldn't walk into a sculpture. "No, Suzanne and I aren't equals - not in the way I thought we would be. She belongs back on the ranch, with the kids, she's happiest there. She's smart and she's good at what she does at home and I love her, but ... it's not there, ever since my political career became more than a dream, it hasn't been equal. It's hard."
CJ just nodded, absorbing the admission. Her fingers tightened on his arm. "I'm sorry."
Josh shook his head. "Don't be. I made my own bed and don't get me wrong, she's wonderful. But she's not cut out for where life has taken us."
CJ stopped walking to touch a night blossom. It was easier than looking into his eyes. "Maybe we should steer away from personal conversation, hmm?"
John ached, wanting to touch her fingertips as she touched the winter flower. His hand slid down her arm and he linked their fingers, "What, and revert back to the same boring conversations going on upstairs?" He chuckled and raised her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles softly. "I'd rather dump my personal problems on you."
Her laugh was soft and she tilted her head at him. It was so nice to talk to someone taller than she was. No matter the dresses and the makeup, her height always made her feel gangly. The men in the room always hated to have to look up to a woman, and after a while, she got tired of slouching as to meet their eyes. But John was the perfect height; when their eyes met, there was no neck craning. "Whatever is said here tonight stays here then?"
"Yes."
She set her champagne flute down on a bench and took his arm again. "Maybe it's still better if we stick to birthplace and alma mater."
He laughed. "Houston, Texas. And then, UT Austin, for my bachelors and masters."
"Dayton, Ohio. And, Cal Berkeley, same." She chuckled. "What was your major in?"
"Business. But I got my masters in Public Policy. You?"
She laughed again, "In full, stereotypical feminazi fashion, I got my bachelors in Women's Studies."
"What is that exactly? I always have visions of the study of the female form..." He laughed when she hit him.
"My masters is in public administration and my doctorate is in mass communications and polling."
"I'm speaking to a woman with a doctorate? Wow, can't keep you women down at all."
If she hadn't known he was joking, she'd have smacked him. Instead, she just laughed. "Not on equal footing anymore?"
"Nope. In fact, Miss Cregg, you're making me a bit nervous."
"It's Dr. Cregg." She chuckled as they came to a stop again, and didn't push him away when their lips connected.
The kiss was everything the fairytales talked about - out in the moonlight, in a garden, deep in the shadows where no one could find the prince and princess. It was sweet and full of promise, despite the guilt that lingered when they pulled back. John's fingers traced her cheek, down her neck, down the straps of her dress, before he leaned in to kiss her again, this time with more passion, and far less guilt. He cupped her breast through the silk of her gown; she tightened her arms around his shoulders. "CJ..." he moaned as he pulled back, trying to still his body's reaction to hers. "That was ... inappropriate. I'm sorry."
"Are you?" Right now she really didn't care about the wedding ring on his hand. "I don't want false platitudes."
"I don't want to give them." He touched her lips. "I'm not sorry, but I still shouldn't have done that."
At his admission, she stepped back and consciously separated their hands. "I need to go back upstairs, the party will be winding down, and that's where I go back to work." She gave him a soft smile. "People will be wondering where we got to."
John offered her the same, almost sad smile and then his arm. "If you'll allow me?"
"Of course." She took his arm and walked with him back up to the balcony, doing her best to stare at the flowers, the sculptures, the stars; anything but him. At the door, she offered his jacket back, and walked in first and right back into the waiting arms of her staff, all of who were preparing for the end of the party. Luckily, no one had missed her, and no one appeared to have seen her with John.
"Hold that elevator!" John called as CJ stepped inside the mirrored box. Swallowing hard, forcing the lump down in her throat, CJ turned and held the door open for the Senator from Texas. Somehow, she wasn't surprised that he was here and a part of her hoped that he'd been waiting for the party to end. CJ wasn't quite sure what was happening here, but the butterflies in her stomach, butterflies that had settled after the kiss and hadn't gone away, those butterflies felt right and she went with them.
"Good," she laughed as he stepped into the box with her, "I had a question for you about the oil industry."
"Shoot." John looked into her eyes and smiled again, as entranced as he hoped that she was.
"Well," she stepped back as someone else came onto the elevator. Part of her was relieved, and while John hit his floor, she hit hers, and the new passenger also chose a floor, she did her best to keep her distance. She leaned back against the mirrors and tightened the wrap around her shoulders, "How is it that someone who made his fortune in the oil industry calls himself a Democrat?"
John laughed, loud and comfortable. He leaned back against the mirrors and smiled at her. "First off, I believe in the power of the domestic oil fields. Our own oil reserves have shown a good return and the energy industry here in America is a growth industry. Our scientists have the ability to lead the way in new, greener technologies. Also, I don't believe in holding onto our dependence in the middle east." They both let out a breath as the other passenger exited. "It also has to do with knowing where to invest, when, and knowing the difference between right and wrong when dealing with these people. Just like politics in America."
CJ laughed. The elevator doors closed around them and John's hand covered hers. "Why don't you come on up to my room. We can finish our conversation." When she paled, he only shook his head, "It only has to be conversation; we've shown that we're good at that." He took another step closer, his face inches from hers, "Unless you want it to be something else…"
"John …" she whispered. "We can't do this." Please kiss me again. Her knees were weak.
"No one has to know …" he smiled. "And who said anything would happen." He nuzzled at her, "You smell amazing."
CJ just leaned in and let their lips touch. He took it from there, kissing and exploring until the door opened on his floor. They managed to separate before anyone could see them, and through sheer force of will, they kept physical distance between their bodies on the way down the hall to his room. The only reason the hotel door locked was that CJ remembered to reach behind her to snap the bolt. John's fingers were too busy tugging at the zipper of her gown and then caressing the soft flesh inside. "God..." she moaned. She wasn't used to being touched like this - this reverence inside of passion. She pushed the tuxedo jacket off his shoulders and her own fingers fumbled at tuxedo studs while they hastily undressed each other. Both of them knew that if they spoke, reason would take over and this wouldn't continue. They needed this to continue.
Flesh connected with flesh, her breasts against chest, while together their fingers explored and pushed clothing away.
She expected the silence to be uncomfortable, but the afterglow was companionable and gentle. He ran his long fingers through her hair while his right arm held her tightly against his body. It still took a long time for either of them to speak.
"What are you thinking right now?" He asked after planting a kiss to the top of her head.
She looked up into those beautiful green eyes and sighed. "I'm wondering if you do this with all the long legged fundraising planners."
"No." His fingers moved from her hair to her cheek. "No. I've never..." he sighed softly. "I've never done anything like this before."
"I don't know if I believe that, John. Your way of coming onto me..."
"I'm from Texas. It's charm. I ... I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want this to happen, but that doesn't mean that I do this." He kissed her, gently, "And I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want it to happen again. Or that I didn't want to see you again. I do."
"John, you're a married man who is climbing the ranks in the Party. We can't ... "
"Do you want to see me again?" His heart raced, and he knew this was a bad idea; it had been a bad idea since he'd locked eyes with her at the beginning of the night. It didn't change the fact that it felt right.
She sighed. "Yes. Of course I do. But that doesn't mean that we can, and you know it." Her hand trailed down his body, under the blanket, and her own long fingers curled around him. She stroked and massaged and allowed herself these few hours of happiness. In the morning she'd be doing the walk of shame and praying the whole time that no one would recognize her in the hallways, but right now, this felt right. "The fact that this can't go on past the morning doesn't mean I'm leaving you alone tonight." He moaned and arched up into her hand. "What do you want me to do, John? Tell me."
"I want you to not run from me in the morning," he pulled her back to him and kissed her senseless. When their eyes met again, he rolled them over, again trapping her beneath him. "I mean it, CJ. I want to see you again." CJ was his perfect equal - in height, in bed, in education, in passion, in ambition. He loved his wife, but they weren't the eighteen-year-old high school sweethearts anymore. John knew that reality would come crashing down on his head when the sun rose, but right now he was willing to loose himself in CJ's touch. "CJ …?" he asked when she wouldn't answer.
"I don't want to think about tomorrow morning, John." She kissed him softly, ending the conversation.
"So, how was the party?" Suzanne flashed her husband a smile as he stumbled into the kitchen. The lack of children in their DC home allowed for his walking around in boxer shorts and nothing else, and it was a sight that still turned her on. After the way he'd touched her last night, full of a passion that had long ago left their marriage, she felt that maybe, just maybe, their lives were back on track.
"Which one?" He chuckled and kissed her neck, taking a deep breath of her lingering perfume. Suzanne's was different than CJ's, sweeter, and the differences unsettled his stomach. He knew, in his heart, that he needed to stop thinking about CJ. He knew that she was right, that if they were caught doing anything stupid it would be the end of both of their careers – especially her career. Women in politics, even women with doctorate degrees, never recovered from sex scandals.
"The one from the other night. This last one, in New York. Did you meet anyone interesting?" The odd feeling in her stomach had returned and she took a step back, examining her husband carefully.
"It was good." John turned away from her, unable to meet her eyes. He took a long sip of his coffee, allowing the caffeine to race through his veins – the surge of energy that CJ had given him had faded. "I had the chance to spend some time talking to CJ Cregg, she's the media director from EMILY's list."
"They gave a lot of money to your campaign," the room started to feel bigger for some reason; John seemed further away. "You didn't insult her did you? Give them a reason to not contribute again?" Her attempt at humor fell flat to both of them.
"Nah." John smiled and turned back to his wife, his nerves completely focused on Suzanne. What happened in New York, stayed there. Setting the coffee mug aside, he pulled her back against his body. "I've missed you, Suzie."
"I've missed you too, John." They kissed, but when Suzanne broke for air, and moved her lips to lavish attention on his neck, her eyes fell on a love bite she hadn't noticed before. The feeling came back, and she kissed the red spot, sucking at the bruised skin, trying to convince herself that she'd been the one to give it to him.
"Hey, CJ." Allison Madison knocked on CJ's office door as she entered. "I hear great things about the party. Did you just get in?"
"A few hours ago. I missed one of the shuttles because there was a mix-up with a few of the room rates and I had to spend time arguing with our contact at the hotel. Don't worry, we're all good and they want us back for the next one." CJ flashed a smile at her boss.
"You got it taken care of, that's the important thing. I want you on TV this weekend, talking about the fundraiser and the importance of what we can do. Also, do you have those series of releases I asked for?"
"Carol has them." CJ smiled. "I told her to hold onto them incase I got stuck in New York."
"Great. I'll get them when I walk out. But first, I have a favor to ask you. And I know that I already keep you running with the media work, but you're also my best political operative and the most liked within the Party. Your relationship with Toby Zeigler and Andrea Wyatt holds a lot of clout –"
"Allie," CJ put her pen down and laughed. "While I'll take the buttering up that you're giving me, something tells me that I'm going to need the time it's taking up. What do you want? You know I'll extend myself for you."
"That's what I was hoping you'd say." Allison handed over a thin manila folder. "The board held a meeting last weekend, as you know. We decided to put our full fundraising weight behind the future presidential run of Senator John Hoynes. It won't be for a few years, we know this, but he's a shining light for the Democrats. I want you to manage all of our work with him. He has practically no record on women's rights or gay rights and we need to change that. Get in there, work with him. Basically …"
"You want me to groom a presidential candidate." CJ silently congratulated herself for maintaining an air of professionalism.
"Yes." Allison gave her a smile. "If you think you can take it on. I wouldn't give it to anyone else, but this needs a media face. That's something you can handle better than anyone."
"You've got it." CJ forced a smile to her face, trying to hold her stomach in check. This was exactly what she wanted, an excuse to actually see John, but what could happen now? New York had just been one night. They couldn't start it up again. Could they? Could they? She'd had her cry; the flight back from New York was a blur of tears and tissues. By the time she'd walked into her office, she had been ready to forget that John Hoynes ever existed.
"Great. His office has received the information regarding our choices, but I'll leave it to you to set the schedule. Really dig in, CJ. We need to get this guy elected."
"Yeah," she continued to pretend to smile. "We do. I'll have Carol contact him today."
"Thanks again, CJ. I owe you. We'll send you to Bermuda or something for a conference." Allison winked and then slipped out the door, on her way to sweet talk someone else into taking on even more work.
Once CJ's office door closed, she let her hands start to shake. "John …" she whispered, still feeling how their bodies had moved together, his breath in her ear, and his good-bye kiss from their morning after. Could she do this? Could she really be professional with him now? "First things first, CJ." She set the file aside and turned back to her paperwork, trying to get it finished. Calling John would have to wait until she worked up the nerve to meet him as a professional equal and not the woman he'd been making love to just the other night. She didn't know if she could do this, but she'd promised Allie and now, through her, she'd promised the party. This had to be the top priority for the both of them. She'd have to just forget about the way he kissed her and the way he touched her and the butterflies in her stomach that told her that going to bed with him had been the right thing to do.
"Carol!" She smiled when the young assistant popped her head in. With shaking fingers, she handed over the file. "Can you set up a meeting with John Hoynes for me?"
"Sure. When?"
"At his earliest convenience. Preferably dinner."
"Your usual spot?" Carol scribbled a few notes that would find their way into John's file.
"No. Someplace quieter." CJ sighed and tried to keep her eyes on the paperwork from the fundraiser. "Out of the district. The guy is planning a presidential run, we don't need the rumors flying before we're ready."
"You got it." Carol grinned and ducked back out to her desk. CJ let out a breath. She could do this. She could help this man get elected president.
"Who was that?" Suzanne smiled over at her husband as he came into the bedroom.
John smiled, trying to cover the butterflies in his stomach. "My assistant. EMILY's list is looking to do some fundraising and I'm meeting with one of their operatives tomorrow night for dinner." He leaned over to kiss her before moving to undress. "It'll probably be a long dinner, so don't wait up. Hey, were we going to call the kids tonight, make sure they haven't killed the nanny?"
The worried butterflies in her stomach told Suzanne that something was wrong, but she couldn't place her finger on it. Even blaming them on the love bite wasn't enough, she couldn't be sure that she wasn't the one who gave it to him. John was many things, including a world-class flirt, but he'd never cheat on her. Never. He was better than that. "I'll go get the kids on the phone." She kissed his cheek and went out.
"Ms. Cregg?" John swallowed the butterflies as he approached the table and shook her hand. God, she looked amazing. He could tell she'd been going for conservative – a turtleneck under a concealing black suit, but she still looked stunning and he couldn't forget the silk of the skin under that suit.
"Senator. It's wonderful to see you again." CJ swallowed hard. He'd taken off his tie, but was still in a dark suit that accented every muscle – muscles she'd been missing since she'd walked away from him.
"Thank you." He sighed once she'd reclaimed her seat. "You … CJ …" he laughed. "Tell me this is as awkward for you as it is for me."
"It is." Carefully, she removed her glasses and looked at him. "What happened in that hotel room," she said softly, making sure no one could overhear, "has to stay there. We're back in the world's most visible gossip column and if anything gets out …"
"I know." But he continued to look into her eyes. "But I've been wanting to call you, to … CJ, if …"
"Stop it, John." Making a point, she handed over the file that Carol had spent the day putting together for him, "You're in the game now, EMILY's list is putting its weight behind you for a presidential run. You're in the game and the players can't shuffle around." It took every ounce of strength to not reach across the table and cover his hand with hers. "So, let's order dinner, which is on this rather high powered lobbyist, might I add." He laughed. "And then we'll get down to the business of your fundraising plans. You're going to be president someday, John."
He knew it. And he knew that she could help him get there, it just wasn't in the way he wanted. Was it possible to fall in love after only one night? "So, let's talk about the road, okay?" He did reach across the table to squeeze her hand, but it lasted only for a minute before he pulled back. Professional. They had to be professional.
To Be Continued …
Copyright April 2006