Chapter 11.

"I like sandwiches.

I will not ask a favour

I will not ask a fee

But if you have a sandwich

Could you give a bite to me."

-Penner, Kids song.

Bit Creepy

I can feel myself wasting away. I can feel the bones in my hand scrape together because they have not enough room in my skin to move with. I can imagine the world going on with fluffy bunnies running around green fields with Longbottom Gryffindorks running after them in sunflower dresses…

I imagine my mother's body swinging from a tree while my father's mangled body is being torn apart by Hippogriffs.

I imagine a lot of things.

Except my own reality.

I don't want to accept it.

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The cold is really starting to get to me. I can barely feel my body and when I do I can feel both the ice pricks and the over bearing heat. The other kids around here have taken to wearing whatever clothing they can find. I can't do much since I've lost whatever energy I barely even had.

I've noticed that the numbers of kids has suddenly stopped being so high. Where there used to be at the most twenty there are now merely seven beside myself. The coldness drives everyone away.

I think that the ones who are left behind are the ones that are too old to be given shelter and the other's just surviving on their own.

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It's hard to get up because every time I try to get up I get too dizzy and then I need to sit down once again.

I feel sick.

I can no longer hide it.

With the way that my body feels too heavy that I feel like I'm falling to the deepest dept of the sea when I lie down. My head aches and feels as if it's on fire. I can't really think anymore.

It's odd that my body aches yet I cannot really feel it.

It's odd that I can puke but all I'm really doing is dry heaving.

It's odd that I can barely breath yet I'm still coughing.

It's odd that my entire body is cold yet I feel like I'm in a volcano.

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I feel like I'm dying.

Dying in a factory for the decrepit and diseased of a Western civilization.

My lungs are nearly dead I can imagine the maggots from the ceiling coming down on the spider webs they've stolen and burrowing into my chest to eat at the lungs.

Leaving my heart for the Lame Game Gryffindorks to find.

All the while having Longbottom run after those bunnies.

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I could imagine them laughing.

Laughing at me and everything else they could mock.

Laughing because I deserved it and everything deserves it.

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If I close my eyes it gets worse.

If I close my eyes I feel hands on me putting the gold coins over my eyes.

I'm afraid to close my eyes.

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There's a story that I made up once. It was about the most beautiful thing in the world.

Cheese.

I loved cheese.

Cheese anything just because they were orange.

I liked to drink orange juice and eat oranges and smell oranges…

Just 'cause the entire thing made me happy.

For no reason at all.

Then I went to Hogwarts and met the people who made me hate orange and anything would remind me of my favourite colour and food.

But I think if I see the colour orange right now I could still love it.

And for once I won't need a reason.

Because I want to smile without having to hurt myself.

Because I want to laugh without nearly hacking up a lung.

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A/N: ending of this makes absolutely no sense. But four more chapters to go!