Turning Points - 3

Disclaimer: Nothing 'Supernatural' belongs to me. I've just borrowed and not for profit.

Summary: A series of snapshots about turning points in the lives of the Winchesters

Author's Note: This is the third in what is becoming a series of snapshots of the Winchesters – A turning point for Mary this time.

Please let me know what you think (positive criticism welcomed) I will try to improve and keep going. And so to the fic…

Turning Points – Mary

Mary wished things could have been different. The end of the road had been reached, a new direction had to be chosen and she had made the choice. As a mother it was simple: her or her boys; so no choice, just a turning point.

She hadn't known what the repercussions would be. She knew she had made the right choice but naively thought once the initial furore had passed, her boys would have the good life she and John had planned. But it wasn't like that. She watched and she saw.

She realises now that she hadn't been the only one reaching the end of a road and turning. Her John's road had ended as well, maybe that was the result of her choice, but faced with his choice, he had made a decision. She watched and she understood, but she would have chosen differently.

She didn't like to see her family living from a car, moving from place to place, not always even getting a room in a motel. She saw her babies learning to fight, use knives and guns. She watches and knows it is not what she wanted for them.

She sees her little chatterbox go silent and withdrawn; the only time he speaks is in whispers to his baby brother late in the night. She sees as, gradually, necessity forces him to speak again. She sees he's not the same anymore, innocence stolen. She watches and she wants to go back.

She sees her tiny baby grow, his brother's shadow. She knows he needs a parent's love and tenderness and wishes she could be there, that she could give it, for John's chosen path is rocky and rough and he has forgotten the tenderness he showed the boys when she was there with him. He has not realised that the boys still need this. She sees her eldest, remembering the love and tenderness pass it forward to his brother. She watches and is proud.

She sees her boys go to school, she sees them learn avidly and attentively, soaking up knowledge, fascinated by all there is to learn. She sees her eldest watch the children around him and realise he is different. She sees him watch the families with interest and curiosity. She knows he learns how other families work with the same fascination that he learns his lessons in school. She sees him resigned to his difference. She recognises his choice for his brother as he tries to provide for him the 'family' the other children have. She watches and she is sad. She had hoped John would do that for her boys.

She sees her youngest thirst for knowledge and from it develop a thirst for 'normal'. She sees him rebel against his father and his life. She watches and knows that this son might achieve what she had hoped for her family.

She watches and realises that she had had an earlier road, an earlier choice than the one she thought made the difference. That choice was made when she asked the elder of her sons to always love and protect the younger. He chose, small as he had been, to do as she had asked. That choice made now neither could have 'normal'. The elder sacrificed to provide and protect the younger, the younger reliant on his brother, incomplete now without him.

She watches always and wishes. She wishes the choices could have led to a different place.

Author's Note: Had this ready to go up a couple of days ago, but computer problems being what they are - it's here now. I've already started on the next one which is about John. I would appreciate some feedback, as I'm not sure this is working and I am redrafting the next one yet again without finishing it.