You've got to flash your tits, Granger!
Hermione Granger, good girl, brainiac and all around bookworm, is tired of her goody two shoes image. She wants to live it up on the wild side for a while. She decides to join the coolest club at Hogwarts, the Magpies, headed by none other than Pansy Parkinson! There's only one catch: Rule 1! "You can't join the club until you pass Rule 1, Granger! I'm sorry! Rules are rules! If you want to join the Magpies, you've got to flash your tits at someone!" Parkinson declared. The only problem with THAT was the one person she would have dared to flash had already graduated and was making gaudy headlines of his own.
Hermione Granger sighed. As usual, Harry and Ron had waited until the last minute to do their homework! Then they expected her to let them copy her work. She was sick and tired of being little miss dependable! She had snapped an unexpected "NO!" at them uncharacteristically. Both boys now slunk along behind her. They had managed to cobble their reports together in time for class! It definitely wouldn't be their best efforts!
"Hermione! Hermione, wait up!" Padma and Luna ran to catch up with her. "Well? Have you given any thought to it?"
"I don't know. I just can't see myself, uh." She looked around and lowered her voice. "Flashing anyone! If I can't do that, there's no point of even thinking about it!"
"Have you at least thought of anyone?" Padma asked. Hermione turned bright red. "Oh! You HAVE! Who is it?"
"Nobody here! Although he used to be here." Hermione smiled dreamily. Padma and Luna squealed happily.
"Come on, Hermione! Tell us, please? Maybe we can help! Even if he's no longer a student!" They begged.
"Before I tell you, promise me you won't make fun of me! I don't have a type!" she hissed at them.
"Wait, someone made fun of you? Who was it?" Padma snapped fiercely. She and Parvati had grown close to Hermione after Lavender began dating Ron. Hermione, who had been trying to forget a certain former student, had tentatively agreed to go on a Hogsmeade date with him, only to be stood up as he took Lavender instead.
"It was Ginny and Lavender. Just because I went to the Yule Ball with Viktor and cheered Harry on during the Triwizard Tournament doesn't mean I ONLY like Quidditch players!" Hermione lamented.
"I think my sister needs to help me sit her roommates down for a stern little lecture!" Padma frowned. Luna was frowning also.
"Anyway, back to you! So? Who is he? We won't make fun of you! We promise!" the girls chorused together.
Hermione checked around them for Lavender or Ginny. Then she leaned close to them. "It's Rowle."
"Rowle? As in, Thorfinn Rowle? That Rowle?" they asked incredulously. They knew she couldn't care less about Quidditch but he was one of the most popular players in the league right now! That's when they realized it HAD only been a couple of years since he played here at Hogwarts! He'd grown that popular that fast!
"Oh! Hermione! We can ask Pansy! Rowle's mother is as popular on the social scene as her son is in Quidditch right now. If anyone can help you flash Rowle, it'll be Pansy!" Padma told her confidently.
"I don't know if I'd even be able to flash HIM, though! I'd probably die of embarrassment!" Hermione chewed her nail, still bright red.
"Hermione Jean Granger! You helped Harry Potter take down the Dark Lord last year! You can most certainly flash a popular Quidditch player! Especially if you have a good support system right there with you!" Luna said fiercely. Padma nodded at her confidently.
"Give us a day or two to see what Pansy can arrange. Just you wait, Hermione Granger! You WILL be a Magpie before this year is over!" the two Ravenclaws ran off to talk to a certain Slytherin Princess and her Prince!
Thorfinn Rowle was bored! Bad things tended to happen around him then. Yaxley and Dolohov tried their best to keep their young charge from getting into too much trouble. There was only so much they could do, though. As in the current case: the Muggle men in the bar were just asking for a beating! They had been shoving Rowle every time they passed him, all because one of them had been rejected by the girl Rowle was currently dancing with. He was pissed off and getting ready to show them why he never lost a fight!
The girl wasn't helping matters as she wrapped her arms around his neck and smirked at the guy she'd rejected! The man, a big blonde almost the same size as Rowle, finally snapped. He stormed over, grabbed Rowle's shoulder and flung him away. Or he tried to. Rowle whipped around and unleashed an uppercut punch to the man's nose! He roared as he grabbed his face. His friends came rushing to his aid. Yaxley and Dolohov rolled their eyes as they jumped into the skirmish.
It turned into an outright barroom brawl and ended up with the whole lot of them getting ejected from the bar and banned for life! The two big blondes didn't care as they continued to slug it out, right there in the parking lot. The two older wizards were able to finally separate the brawlers and convince Rowle to let it go! With one last punch, the other blonde hit the ground!
"You know, it'd be a lot easier to keep me out of trouble if I was allowed to drink firewhiskey! I AM of age, after all!" Rowle pointed out to them. "We could stay in, play poker and the two of you could watch me pass out in the floor!"
"Come on, Rowle! If it was up to us, you know we'd let you drink! Your coach is the one who specified NO DRINKING for Thorfinn Rowle! You also know WHY he specified that! Hitting the training grounds drunk off your arse almost cost you your position on the team!" Yaxley pointed out the reason he couldn't drink anymore. Rowle rolled his eyes.
"I was celebrating! The war was over and I could play Quidditch again! Wouldn't you want to drink to that?!" he drawled.
"Yes. And I did drink to that but not enough to go into the DMLE drunk off my arse!" Yaxley shook his head at the youngster. Rowle turned to Dolohov for support.
"Don't look at me, boy! I didn't go into Gringotts drunk off my arse, either!" he laughed at the boy's disgusted expression.
"Fine! I won't drink anything stronger than butterbeer!" he snapped and fake gagged at the thought. The older wizards were chuckling at him as they Disapparated out of the alley back to Rowle's apartment.
"Alright. Let me make sure I just heard you right." Pansy Parkinson told Padma and Luna. "Granger, Hermione Granger, the Hermione Granger wants to be a Magpie? Is that what you're telling me?" the girls nodded, giggling at the disbelief on the faces of Draco and Pansy. Pansy turned to Draco who laughed and shrugged.
"Frankly, Pansy, I'm surprised it took her this long to snap! Everyone knows, without her help, those two would have crashed and burned a long time ago!" Draco drawled slowly. "Give the girl a chance. Oi, what did she have to say about Rule 1? She does know she won't even be considered unless she passes Rule 1 first, right?"
"She knows. That's partly why we're here. There's nobody at school she knows or likes well enough to flash! She said, with most of the guys, it'd be like flashing her brother. The rest of them would be like flashing her dad! She did tell us someone she'd be willing to flash, IF it could be arranged somehow!" Padma told Pansy.
"Let me guess. We're connected to this person, right?" Draco asked shrewdly. He hadn't gotten Head Boy just for his looks.
"You are both connected with him, I suspect." Luna said.
"So don't keep us in suspense! Who is this paragon? He has to be special to have caught Granger's eye!" Pansy exclaimed.
"Well, first off, you both have to promise you won't tease her about him! I think she really likes him!" After getting their promise, Padma and Luna chimed together. "It's Rowle! Thorfinn Rowle!"
In unison, Draco and Pansy stared at them in wide eyed shock. "Rowle? Rowle! Thorfinn Rowle? Merlin, I'm not sure we're even in his league! Are you quite sure that's who she said?" Pansy breathed. Draco fell back groaning as he covered his eyes. 'Merlin, he hadn't seen Rowle since the war ended! The Quidditch player had just barely escaped going to Azkaban!'
"You do remember that Rowle was a Death Eater? Jet like me? Did she specifically mention him by name?" Draco asked.
"As sure as we're both standing here. That's who she said." They swore. Pansy sat down beside Draco. They looked at each other.
"Well, Drake. Is it worth it to try and get in touch with him? He'd probably react better to you because of Quidditch. I could feel his mother out. But she's liable to take it the wrong way. She'll be looking for grandbabies! " Pansy deferred to Draco.
"I don't even know if he'd react to ME, Pans! He didn't want to be in the fight in the first place. Blasted wanker was even more Quidditch crazy than Wood AND Flint together!" Draco sighed. "But I can see if he'll respond. There's a new bar opening in Hogsmeade in a week or two. Until I know for sure that he's not showing up, you lot plan on going to that bar and MAKE SURE Granger is with you!"
Padma and Luna squealed as they jumped up and down in excitement. Pansy couldn't help but join in as Draco sat laughing at them. They were all over the moon at the thought of Hermione Granger being in the Magpies! Especially if she was going to be FLASHING Thorfinn Rowle, the most popular guy in the Quidditch league!
The more Hermione thought about it, the more she regretted telling Padma and Luna about her stupid school girl crush on Rowle. It wasn't like they were ever going to meet again. She was planning a nice quiet career in the Ministry and he'd be touring all over the world with his Quidditch team!
She decided that she would go look for Padma and Luna after class. Let them know she wasn't going to try to join the club after all. She had too many goals to achieve. She needed to decide exactly which department she was going to try out for. How much training she needed and which classes would best fit that training. She didn't have time to worry about some club or a Quidditch playing jock!
Draco thought about how to word his letter. 'How was the best way to lure a former Quidditch playing student and fellow Death Eater into a position to be flashed?' He decided to go sneaky and ask one of the two men never far from Rowle's side, Corban Yaxley. He quickly wrote him a summary of the situation. Now to wait and see if Yaxley wrote him back! In the meantime, he had a beautiful girlfriend to snuggle up with! He sent the letter and went to hunt Pansy down.
Yaxley was greatly surprised to receive a letter from Draco Malfoy! 'What was that little brat writing to HIM for?' As he read the letter, he began chuckling. By the time he finished the short letter, he was outright laughing his arse off! 'Oh, this was going to be GOOD!' He could almost see the startled look on Rowle's face now! He quickly took a break from his work to pay a visit to Dolohov at Gringotts. Dolohov read the letter as he sipped a cup of coffee. Yaxley laughed as soon as Dolohov did a spit take. Dolohov face palmed at the things these young witches and wizards were doing these days! They quickly set about figuring out a way and place for the big event!
"Hermione! Hermione! It's all set up! They jumped at the chance to help you! You're going to be a Magpie, Hermione!" Padma and Luna hugged her from either side. Parvati, also a member, had been alerted to the plan. She was already planning Hermione's hair and makeup. Padma and Luna were already planning to dig through her wardrobe for an appropriate 'flashing' outfit!
Hermione didn't have an opportunity to tell them she'd changed her mind. She was so swept up in excitement that she went along with all their plans. Lavender and Ginny were narrow eyed at the sight of two Ravenclaws in the dormitory. They weren't sure what was going on. It was all being kept very hush-hush until the girls were sure Hermione was officially a Magpie! They went in search of Harry and Ron to let them know something was happening and it involved Hermione!
Yaxley wrote back to see what Draco had in mind. Draco wrote to let him know about the new club opening up. When Yaxley found this out, he and Dolohov howled with laughter. 'It would be PERFECT! Rowle would never know what hit him!' They deliberately slacked off enough that Rowle got into a fight with a teammate, Mulciber, resulting in both being benched for two weeks. It worked out perfectly with Draco's plan of having the girls take Hermione to the club.
They called in at the club and arranged for Rowle to work as a bouncer for the next two weeks. Not only would that give the girls an opening, it would keep Rowle close if he should happen to take more than a passing interest in Hermione after she flashed him!
Finally the big night was here! The girls all congregated in the Head Girl's room as Hermione was pampered and primped for her big moment! Hermione was shaking in her little bootie shoes at the thought of what she'd be doing! It had been decided that she would wear an extremely low-cut form fitting camisole under a looser button up blouse. They coupled it with a mini skirt guaranteed to catch even more of Rowle's attention!
By the time they had her dressed, made up and her hair swept into a perfect up do, they would never have recognized her. All the way down to the main hall, boys kept running into each other or the wall as they caught sight on Hermione. As it turned out, Professor Snape was in the hall as they were leaving. He had some inkling of what was going to happen, apparently, as his lips curled up into the tiniest of grins.
"Good luck, Miss Granger." He bowed his head and stepped aside as he pulled the door open for them.
Hermione was shaking with nerves all the way into Hogsmeade. The girls were filling her in on what to do. "Listen, Granger. You are the only one who is old enough to get into this club. Our getting in depends on you." Pansy told her.
"Is this absolutely necessary? Isn't there any other way to join?" Hermione asked hesitantly.
"You can't join the club until you pass Rule 1, Granger! I'm sorry! Rules are rules! If you want to join the Magpies, you've got to flash your fits at someone!" Parkinson declared.
Hermione nodded, resigned to the fact. "Ok, girls! We're here! Lovegood, carry her purse. Hermione, get ready. When we get up there, I'll try to talk us past the bouncer. If you hear me say, 'Hermione has a present for you', that's your cue to flash him!" Pansy directed her. She kept her hands on the bottom of her shirt and camisole and her eyes on the ground.
Yaxley and Dolohov had positioned themselves with a clear view of Rowle, standing at the door as he checked ID's. They saw the group of young girls at the same time as Rowle. They counted six in the group and quickly realized there was a seventh one in the center, the shortest one of the bunch. That HAD to be Granger!
Rowle didn't show much interest in them until his eyes fell on the little witch in the center of the group. Her eyes were downcast and her hands were clenched tight. He frowned. She didn't seem to be as lighthearted as her companions. He wondered what was going on with her.
"Good evening. ID's, please." He watched with interest as the little witch stiffened and looked at him, wide eyed! He smiled at her. She was quite a little beauty.
"Here you go." Pansy handed him the ID's for all of them except Hermione. He looked them over and sighed. "Girls, you KNOW I'm not supposed to let you in. You're all under age!"
"You have a stamp, though. Right? Can't you just stamp our hands to show we can't drink anything stronger than butterbeer? Please? We really just want to dance, that's all!" Pansy played up to him. He covered a grin at her tactic. As it happened, he DID have a stamp right behind him!
"I really don't know if I should? Maybe if you ask nicely, the bartender might-?" he started to say.
"But why bother the bartender? We can resolve this right now. Listen, if you stamp our hands and let us in, Hermione has a present for you, right here!" Pansy nudged Hermione until she was directly in front of Rowle. Hermione's face was flaming red but she took a deep breath and lifted her shirt and camisole, squeezing her eyes shut.
Rowle's eyes opened wide as his jaw dropped. The girls tittered and cheered at the astounded look on his face. Yaxley and Dolohov almost fell off the wall they were sitting on as they roared with laughter, propping each other up! He cleared his throat as he instinctively adjusted his belt. "Uh! Well! That, that's some present, sweetie! Um" he recomposed himself as he reached behind. "Hands out, girls!"
The grinning passel of girls quickly held their hands out before he changed his mind. As they went through the doors, he kept his eyes on Hermione. When it was her turn to be stamped, he grinned, pulled her close to him and hugged her before stamping her hand. As she followed Pansy in, he yelled, "Oi, Parkinson! Make sure she doesn't show that present to anyone else! It's all mine!" Pansy laughed and waved to show she'd heard.
"She's in! She's in! Yay! Hermione's a Magpie!" the girls all cheered as they took turns hugging their Head Girl! Hermione was smiling in relief as she realized she had actually done it! 'Merlin! She'd actually just FLASHED Thorfinn Rowle!'
"You made a big hit there, Granger! I have a feeling he'll be hunting you down as soon as they let him off work!" Pansy teased her.
Hermione glanced back towards the door. Rowle was still watching them. He grinned and winked at her. She smiled and waved at him. If he came looking, she'd be ready!