Thank you all for your nice reviews... i love them sooo much...they make me write more )
Soo
here it is: Chapter 11.
For the first time
in this fanfic I used song-lyrics. The song is called "Behind these
Hazel Eyes – by Kelly Clarkson. (Hehe the name of the fanfic "Hear
me" is one of her songs too.)
So maybe if you like you could
listen to that song when the lyrics are used.
Marissa
sat in plastic chair at the airport. She was waiting for her flight.
She looked out of the panorama window….Las Vegas looked so
beautiful at night. All these lights… but she couldn't really
enjoy this whole Las Vegas trip. She was so upset about the events of
that night.
'What happened to Ryan and me? Why it's always
like that? When Ryan and I together or only meet, always has to
happen something…' she thought sadly to herself.
She'd slept on occasions throughout the early morning, while waiting for her plane. But every time when she closed her eyes she saw pictures she wished never to see again.
First of all, all these
pictures and memories of Ryan and her… together.
Then the
picture of Ryan's hurt look, after her mum announced that she and
Jason are together. That look was full of hurt, but also of anger.
She knew what he must have thought at that moment: Again a person
that I trusted let me down.
Just thinking of that night resulted
that tears were forming in her eyes.
She could remember clearly
the last sentences he said to her that night.
"… Marissa…how could you do that? I can't even look at you… I never want to see you again. Never."
Never. That word resounded in her head again and again.
Since then Ryan had avoided her when ever possible, she knew that he hated her. She knew that and she couldn't even blame him for it. She had ruined everything, something so special like their relationship. They were finally happy and just because she didn't tell him - she had destroyed that. She let him down…
Then she thought about last night… the events replayed itself like a movie in her head. She saw it all again… the knock on the door and the fight that followed.
The announcement said that her plane was boarding. Finally she could leave this place… get away from everything…
...get away from him.
---in the hotel---
Summer walked in the
same direction like Seth a few minutes ago.
'What should I say to him? Will he listen to me?..' so many questions were inside Summer's head. She desperately tried to stay calm… but she failed. She felt nervous like a little child at the first day at school.
She went outside and spotted him. There he sat. His black, curly hair… She remembered how good it felt to ran through his hair. To see his smile and his eyes. She missed him so much, he made her laugh… Jake never was that funny. How could she compare Jake to Seth. She had to admit that Jake was nice and caring… but he wasn't… Seth. Her Seth…
'Ok…it's now or never…Summer!' she said to herself.
She sat down next to
Seth. Seth looked at her unbelieving and was about to stand up and
leave but Summer gripped his shirt and motioned him to sit down
again.
"Please Seth… we need to talk." She said… looking
at him with teary eyes.
This sight made Seth sit down again. "What do you want to talk about?" Seth asked coldly.
Both of them avoided the eyes of the other while talking.
"Seth… I want to apologize and I want to explain everything to you… then you can leave and hate me the rest of your life…" Summer started…
"The thing with Zach… where do I start… I know maybe you won't believe me this, but it was a coincidence that I met him one day before….before you… saw us.." Summer said trying to hold back her tears. She needed to tell him everything..
"Yeah you're right… I don't believe you.." he answered again coldly but sarcastically at the same time.
"But it was really a coincidence… Zach and I talked…as friends… and then he said if I want to go out with him and friends to that Club. I know I should've told you, but I thought that you would be at your Nana's that weekend…"
"…yeah and then you thought 'hey let's hook up with Zach… Seth isn't here so he never will find out'…" Seth started to get angry…
"…No Seth. It wasn't like that. When I arrived at the club it turned out that his friends were all busy… so he came alone. Today I think that there weren't friends at all and that he invented them. So I thought ok… Jenna will come later and bring some friend with her so there will be no problem. But then he wanted to dance… I thought that would be a good idea… but yeah like you saw it turned out it was a bad one…" Summer said
"..yeah what a bad one… and he kissed you... but you did nothing… it seemed that you liked it…"
"…that's not true, Seth! I didn't like it…. I was shocked that he kissed me and besides that you came over that fast that I hadn't time to slap Zach right in the face…" she now turned to him and looked Seth in the eyes.
"Seth, please believe me. I know that I
should have told you that I met Zach and everything. I know that I
can undo this kiss, but if I could I really would. I regret it every
day. I don't know if you will ever be able to forgive me… but at
least I apologized and explain everything to you, because you
deserved a explanation, because … you... mean… a.. lot… to…
me" she turned away. She couldn't fight any longer against her
tears. They start to roll down her cheeks.
She felt embarrassed
and was about to stand up when Seth turned her around.
"You mean a lot to me, too" and with that he kissed her passionately.
Summer couldn't believe what was going on…
"Seth, could you pinch me, please. I think I must be
dreaming." She said with a croaking voice.
Seth did what he was
told, pinched her and grinned at her.
"Aww… Seth I didn't meant that serious… that hurt." she gave him a teary smile.
"Why are you crying?" he looked confused at her.
"Because this here is like a dream to me Seth. Does that kiss…caugh… does it mean that we're together again?" she looked away… afraid of the answer.
"Summer you know… that kiss with Zach, hurt me very much. But I can't help I'm still in love with you. So I think yes... that meant that we're sorta together again…"
Summers frightened face faded away and she started to smile, her eyes were now sparkling. Seth missed that sparkling in her eyes. He missed Summer so much. But now thing would be different, they wouldn't let something get between the two of them again. They sat there kissing and hugging each other for what seemed an eternity, as if they want to make up for the time they were apart.
---in the
hotellobby---
Ryan walked across to the windows. He spotted the
two outside sitting. They were kissing. He smiled to himself. 'At
least one good thing happened in Las Vegas' he thought to
himself.
He sighed and walked away. Yeah that was really the only good thing that happened here.
He sat down in the lobby
and looked through the window.
He sat there staring intently at
the cars passing by the hotel. He wondered what he had done to
deserve everything that had happened to him. Why he couldn't be
happy just for a short period of time…why always something bad has
to happen to him.
He replayed the last hours in his mind. During the day he could remember everything of last night… he remembered every word and every detail… but now his wish was that he wouldn't remember last night. Or better - that he could undo yesterday.
'Sure, I never forgot what Marissa did to me, how
I suffered because of her. But that fight last night shouldn't end
like that. I shouldn't have thrown all these things at her.
How
could I say all that to her? Why did I have to blame her for
everything that happened to Liz and what the hell made me drink so
much?
I saw what alcohol can cause… my father that hit me and my
brother, my mother, yeah even Marissa changed so much, when she drank
something. I should have known better.' he thought to himself.
'I
knew that Marissa was vulnerable to me, like I'm to her…as well
after all what happened.
Though she hurt me so much, she didn't
deserve that. I hurt her deeply much with my words… she hates me.'
he remembered sadly her painfilled and hatred look when she stormed
off – he will never forget that picture.
'It
was never my intention to hurt her…yeah but I did… last
night.'
But what he was most afraid of was that Marissa would do
something to herself. He knew that Marissa wasn't good with the
coping and last night she had enough to cope with…
He just
prayed that Summer would find her in Tahiti in time and make sure
that she wouldn't do stupid things.
---cab---
Marissa
took a cab to her destination.
Her thoughts drifted back to last
night.
Though she felt guilty because of the whole Jason thing
that caused him so much pain, she couldn't understand last night.
'Why he had to blame her for everything?' she thought to
herself.
The things he said hurt her deep inside. It was like
someone tormented her with needles. Every word caused her pain, like
needles that prick through her skin…going very deep.
She
replayed every sentence he said in her mind. she couldn't stop
thinking about it. she felt like crying… but there were no tears
left to cry. she cried so much last night..
She decided to
tturn on her iPod… she needed something to take her mind off of
Ryan.
She switched through the song
'No not another love
song… I can't handle them now…' she continued switching and
finally found a song.
'Yeah that one is definitely the right
song'
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I
used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around
me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin'
could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm
barely hanging on
The good times for Marissa that meant: Ryan and her together – happily. Every kiss, every "I love you". How could that all fall apart in just one second?
Here I am,
once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't
pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep
inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these
hazel eyes
I told you everything
Opened up and let you
in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all
that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so
broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't
sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
Marissa sang quietly the chorus "Here I am, once again.. I'm torn into pieces.." yeah.. that was it what she felt right now..
The cab driver looked weird at her through the rear view mirror. Marissa blushed and stopped singing, instead of singing she started humming.
'The lyrics are so appropriate. Once again I'm torn into pieces, because of Ryan Atwood, but he was really the one who made me feel alright for once in my life… he was always there when I needed help… I really thought he would be the one…' she thought sadly to herself. 'But this time I must help myself… I must make it without his help…. Yeah he won't get so see the tears that I cry…. Anymore.' she told herself. She wanted to be strong. She had to be strong...
...but could she be strong?
---at the airport--- "Summer why I can't come with you?… You know Tahiti is like heaven. No, let me correct: Tahiti with you is like heaven to me." Seth smiled at Summer. Since they left the hotel Seth is trying to convince Summer that it would be better if both of them fly to Tahiti.
"Seth it's not like I'm going on vacation. I'm there because I hope that Coop is there and that I find her…" she said while checking in.
"…Summer pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaasssseeeeeeeee." He made puppy eyes.
"Cohen I've already checked in… so give it up. I'm going alone. Besides that you and Luke have to look after Ryan. I'm really concerned…just look at him." she pointed at Ryan, who was sitting in a Café. "He seems kinda depressed... you know he got this empty look and he's obviously in brooding mood again. I know he's concerned about Marissa…" Summer told Seth.
"Do you think they can work that out?" Seth wanted to know.
"Honestly...I don't know. I mean so many things happened. Remember: Oliver, Theresa, Dj, Jason and now the fight yesterday. I don't know how much their relationship, friendship or whatever they have, can take…" she said and looked Seth right in the eyes.
He just nodded, he knew that she was right.
"Flight 354 to Tahiti is boarding"
"Oh that's mine Cohen!" She looked at him and kissed him passionately.
'God it feels good to kiss him again!' she thought to herself. She was happy that they are back together finally.
"God it feels good to kiss you again
Summer!" Seth said smiling at her, Summer had to giggle.
'Two
people one though, Cohen."
Summer walked across to Ryan and
hugged him.
"Take care of yourself, Sum." Ryan tried to give
her a smile.
"I will find her Chino...trust me" she whispered into his
ear.
And with that she smiled one last time at Seth. Then she was gone.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter
11 is finished! As always I hope you enjoyed it…
Please review…
you all know how happy that makes me...
Preview Chapter
12:
Will Summer find Marissa? Is Marissa in Tahiti or somewhere
else?
What will Ryan tell Liz? How will she react?
Where will
Seth get his pudding from in Las Vegas? Why doesn't Seth put on
weight, though he's eating a lot of pudding? What is his
diet-secret? loool