v. theme #5 "poison ivy"
The night is dark and humid, the greyness of the slums intensifying as the weather worsens. Cloud enters the Seventh Heaven with set but truthfully uncertain steps and does not know what to think of Tifa's form sprawled across the counter, a half-drunk glass of something turquoise next to her hand.
The pub smells – it did not some time ago. He is surprised to find how little things have changed since he last visited; the tables sport the same marks of weariness they used to,and Cloud idly wonders if Tifa is actually doing her job. Feeling a stab of bad conscience, he looks at her as though she would guess what he is thinking of, mentally preparing himself to dodge a punch.
He sighs and removes the glass from her hand, placing it in the sink. Cloud allows himself a moment's luxury and trails his fingers on her hand, feeling the calluses there. When one is saving a world, one certainly does not think of one's looks, does one, Cloud muses, hating each and every one of her scars, even the ones taken because of him.
He carries her to her bedroom, a small place above her pub, the place she calls home.
Settling her on the bed, Cloud tries to remember why he came – tries not to not stay up all night looking at her sleeping figure. Her breathing is deep and her eyes move behind her eyelids and Cloud hopes she can still have happy dreams.
"...d..." she murmurs groggily and opens her eyes. She stares for a moment, realizes he is holding her hand, blinks slowly and stares again. "...Cloud?" her voice shakes and they both know it is not the alcohol in it.
He is like from another world and only the painful throb in her head reveals to her that she is not dreaming. "I can't... stay long." Cloud's voice comes with difficulty, as if he has not been using it in a long time. He does not look at her and removes his hand from hers silently.
"Why not?" Tifa chokes – this is the moment she has dreamed of and his words are like poison to her. Agonizingly beautiful, these flakes of snow, grains of sand, shards of glass she tries to hold in her hands slip away, leaving behind bloody trails as he gets up and starts to make his leave.
"Because I have lost."