Warning: These movies are liked by some people yet totally hated by others. Mostly because their plots are overly predictable and follow the same themes. They also very hypocritical at the same time. Also these movies are usually taking things to the extreme right and left. Both shall be made fun of beyond all recognition and those with weak constitutions should stay away! I'm serious! Don't read unless you're some kind of South Park conservative or a person who never actually votes.

General Rage presents...

The Titans Left Wing/Right Wing Movie Parodies!

Starring the Teen Titans

Parodying all those bland and crappy movies that have some kinda political theme behind them.

Chapter 1: Of Vendettas and Diaries!

Starring

Robin as Codename X

Raven as the overly oppressed partner

Brother Blood as evil Dictator

Slade as Nazi nut job

Terra as The Nazi Nut job's girlfriend

Everyone else is a civilian or rebel or some other loser.

Raven looked up from the casting script before her and turned to the Director

"Why am I stuck as the emotionally stressed partner?" Raven asked

Because," General Rage explained from his director's chair "Starfire is too girly to be Robin's girlfriend for this kinda scenario. Rest solace in the fact that everything will turn out fine in the end, trust me.

Raven was still not sure about all of this

"I'm not gonna have have sex with someone am I?"

"No." Rage assured "You'll probably just be abused and stuff.

"What?" Raven shouted in surprise

"And action!" Rage said ignoring her obvious dissagreement and contiued his directing

"This better be worth the 50 bucks." Raven said as she stomped off to the set.

(Opening)

Brother Blood: As your supreme dictator, I now will throw you this overly elaborate homage to me! (Cuts ribbon to Brother Blood Museum) Now everyone cheer or die!

(Soldiers aim guns at crowd)

Crowd: Huzzah.

Brother Blood: I do so love being evil. (Museum Explodes) What the... OH COME ON! That's not cool man!

(Guy with skull mask and top hat appear across every TV screen in the city)

X: Hear me people of Jump City! Our leaders are a bunch of evil overbearing pricks! They must all die horribly! They have killed and oppressed us for far to long! Which is why I blew up the Museum and endangered thousands of possibly nearby civilians. In one year I shall return and blow up the capital. This will accomplish nothing except to make a cool special effect but who cares! Join me and be free! Don't and suffer the consequences! (TV turns off)

Bro. Blood: Ah poop! Now I have to call a meeting of the league of evil. (Turns to crowd) Everyone just go along like nothing happened and eat some pie or something.

Cyborg: I like pie!

Bro. Blood: Yeah whatever.

(Raven walking down dark alley, suddenly Slade comes up to her)

Slade: Hello there fellow revolutionary!

Raven: Who the hell are you?

Slade: I'm a member of a secret underground organization that opposes the government. Here have a leaflet. (Passes her a leaflet Raven read it)

Raven: "Join the Nazi Commando Butt Kickers and get a free cupcake." You're a Nazi?

Slade: Yes and we all love the white race! White Power!

Raven: Whatever, I think I'll pass.

Slade: Oh come on, think of the free cupcakes. They're chocolatey!

Raven: You're just desperate are you?

Slade: Yes, I have only one other member. My girlfriend.

(Terra comes from behind a dumpster)

Terra: Can we go now. It's cold and dark and nobody actually would walk home down these kinda alleys.

Slade: Silence woman! (Back to Raven) Tell you what, you join and I'll let you throw the first Molotov at the Synagogue!

Raven: How about you just go away?

Slade: Oh come on! You get to wear this swastika arm band.

Raven: I'm telling you no.

Slade: Why?

Raven: One, because you're not attractive. You are a freaky looking masked idiot who probably molests children. Two, The Turner Diaries was the dumbest story ever written by a backwards Anti-Semite due to it's lack of plot and 2D characters. Finally Three, (Looks at Camera) General Rage this is stupid! Why did you want to make fun of Nazis in a film about an anarchist rebellion?

GR: V for Vendetta is mostly just a bunch of explosions okay. I needed to add something to fill up the space between the idoitic banter.

Raven: Well I'm not going any further until this crappy parody ends. Either get back to what I signed on for or you can keep your 50 bucks.

GR: Alright fine. Slade, Terra you're fired!

Terra: Great, now I can get out of this brown shirt.

(Walks off set)

Slade: You can't fire me! I studied my character well, I listened to audio tapes of the book, you know how bad that writing is! I finally got into the whole Nazi persona of Turner after twenty seven hours! You can't do this to me!

GR: Sorry, but Raven's right. "The Turner Diaries" is too bad a book to bother doing a parody about it. You can go now.

Slade: But...

GR: GO! (Slade slumps off screen) Okay Raven, let's skip ahead to the part where you're mobbed by the crazy government officials. Played by Billy Numerous.

Billy: Howdy!

Raven: (Unenthusiatic) Oh no, help. Save me. I'm going to die.

Billy: You know you could at least try.

(X jumps down and throws a knife into Billy's head he then collapses)

GR: Oh Robin! You were supposed to engage in witty banter and do a series a cool kung-fu moves.

(Takes off Red X mask)

Robin: Screw that! This thing is pointless. I should be fighting crime, not doing a movie!

GR: If you're a good boy Robin and you do your part right, you'll end up at the scene where you get to sex torture Raven until she submits to your will and ideas.

Raven: That wasn't part of the deal!

GR: Don't worry your stunt double is Kitten.

Robin: Alright fine. (Puts mask back on) I'm X, the anarchist rebel who has come to free the oppressed and suffering!

Raven: What does the X stand for?

X: Um, Xtra order of Vengeance!

Raven: (Sarcastically) Wow thats pretty cool. Hey did I ever tell you about how my parents were killed by the government. I want to help you.

X: But we just met.

Raven: I know it seems fast, but I'm one those... (to Rage) I'm not saying this!

GR: Just read what I wrote!

Raven: (Sighs) I'm a pathetic disengaged loser and easily munipulated by a guy in a cool mask.

X: Great, lets go and talk about the evils of government for about a year until we blow something up.

Raven: I'm going to kill you Rage.

GR: You signed on for this.

(Inside very evil roundtable room)

Bro. Blood: People we have a problem. Someone is threating our rule. Now this person is small and insignifficant and if we just let the issue go and carry on like bussiness as usual and just build up security around the Capital building for the next year everything should be fine, but because we are paranoid morons we're gonna do the opposite.

Mumbo: We're gonna capitulate to the terrorists?

Bro. Blood: NO! We're going to crackdown on many of the basic freedoms that people still have left. Eventually we'll root out this X character.

Killer Moth: Won't that make people hate us and want to join our enemies.

Bro. Blood: Moth, if you don't understand paranoid dictatorship guidelines than you need to go to re-education. Mad Mod, I'm putting you on task to find this X guy whilst I send my soldiers to increase their evil intolerant preseance everywhere. You'll have the cooperation of the entire police force!

Mad Mod: Shagadelic! (Goes over to police station) Alright my Duckies let's crackdown on some dissent!

(Runs off with police officers)

Bro. Blood: Gentlemen I want this terrorist found and I want you to teach him the real meaning of terror!

Control Freak: We're gonna make him watch Educational TV!

Bro. Blood: NO YOU IDIOT! WE'RE GOING TO KILL HIM SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY!

Control Freak: Oh. Right. Sorry.

(Later at X's Hideout)

X: Respect my Authoritha Bitch! (Whips Raven's Stunt Double)

Kitten: OW! Why does it have to be real whips!

(Offstage Raven is chating with Rage by the coffee machine)

Raven: I just can't stand these rumours on the Internet that say I cut myself. I mean, why would I do that? I'm not that depressed right?

Rage: No, no, those rumours just started because you're a goth.

Raven: Goths do not cut themselves. People believe that idiotic stereotype because they don't know what a Goth really is. I mean just because you hang out in a dark and dingy bar room with people who never see the sun and listen to industrial/punk music all day doesn't automatically make you a cutter.

Kitten: DEAR GOD WHY DOES NOBODY STOP THIS!?! (Whip) OW!

(Slade comes up to Rage)

Slade: Hey Rage.

GR: Slade, did you forget I fired you?

Slade: Listen, I re-read the book and in this chapter my character participates in the hanging of several Black and mixed racial couples. So I was thinking maybe I could get Cyborg and Bumblebee to star next to me, but before I hang them, a pimp mobile comes up and flattens me and they both hop in and drive off! Huh? Huh? You like it huh?

GR: I told you, were not doing a stupid parody of that Nazi book anymore.

Slade: You can't do this me man! I'm Slade! I'm an evil mastermind! I can have you murdered!

GR: Security!

(Bodyguards drag off screaming Slade. Kitten crawls to GR's feet)

Kitten: Can I please go home!

GR: Alright, Raven get back in there and look like you're in pain.

Raven: Fine, but only because of the Fifty bucks.

(Raven lies on the floor and pants heavily)

X: Now submit to my will woman! Or do you want me to sexually assualt you again!

Raven: Yeah alright, I'll follow all your plans without question.

X: Cool, now go home while I plan to blow up the Capital a year from now.

(Raven leaves Hideout and is later captured by the Government police)

(Prison cell, Raven's head is shaved bald.)

Raven: Lucky me, it's just makeup.

(Mad Mod come in)

Mad Mod: Alright my ducky. I know we are supposed to be a facist dictatorship, but we need to sound completely reasonable at first and than get really nasty towards you after. Now give us the ID of Codename X and we'll let you walk out of here.

Raven: No.

Mad Mod: We'll resurect a statue in your honour.

Raven: No.

Mad Mod: We'll give you a real cool sports car.

Raven: No.

Mad Mod: We'll send you to tropical paradise.

Raven: No.

Mad Mod: We'll give you hamburger.

Raven: NO!

Madmod: Okay, why won't you tell us who X is! I mean this is all pretty damn good stuff!

Raven: Because you're an evil dictatorship. You aren't going to live up to your promises and I don't even know who X is! He never takes off his damn mask okay!

Stage Hand: Didn't Robin do that earlier?

GR: Just film moron. And keep the boom mike out of the camera feed.

Stage Hand: Whoops, sorry (Moves boom mike up)

(Mad Mod exits room)

Mad Mod: Ain't working lads. The gal is tough.

Dr. Light: Let me try. I can be very persuasive. (Pulls out a gun and cocks it)

(Later in the cell)

Dr. Light: (Pleading) Come on! Tell me who X is!

Raven: No.

Dr. Light: I'll be your best friend!

Raven: No.

Dr. Light: Awwww, you're mean.

(Mad Mod bursts in)

Mad Mod: That's it! You either tells us who X is or you'll be forced to endure our most horrible torture! Whiny protest songs from the sixties!

(Cuts to Guitar playing Hippie)

Hippie: Well, the government is evil, the Government hates me,

The government broke into my house and stole my Colour TV!

(Cut back to Raven)

Raven: Okay, thats bad, but if you're trying to intimidate me it isn't working.

(Wall explodes to the left Slade comes up through the hole)

Slade: Be free my white comrades! Crush the Juedens!

GR: Slade! Go away! You're fired remember!

Slade: But this is my best scene!

GR: Someone blow up the wall Robin is suppose to go through.

(Robin's Wall blows up)

X: Time to kick some oppressive regime butt!

(Guards come in and shoot X, but it fails horribly as nothing happens to him)

X: HA! Suckers! The writers of this film made me completely invulnerable thus making it impossible for me to be faced with any real danger, making me a rather shallow hero and rendering all fight scenes pointless! Now eat lead! (Pulls out glock and kills everyone in room) Come on Raven, let's get out of here and talk about how much the government sucks!

Raven: Fine, but only because I want this dumb film to end.

(One year later or something in front of the capital building)

(Crowd of X look alikes appear at capital)

Bro. Blood: Now everyone, I know we don't like each other and I destroyed all your freedoms and crushed all your dreams. But you still need me because... I got nothing. (Crowd of masked X's looks at him awkwardly) Soldiers do something!

Soldier: (On blowhorn) Will the real codename X please stand up. Please Stand up. Please Stand up.

Bro. Blood: You're an idiot.

(Slade jumps up on stage wearing a nuclear bomb)

Slade: I betrayed my comrades to the Isrealites and their Black buddies! Now I will blow up the government building!

GR: Slade you're fired remember! Get out of my studio!

Slade: Just let me blow up the building please!

(X jumps on stage)

X: Hell no, I'm suppose to commit the suicide bombing not you!

Slade: Screw you, I'm doing this my own way!

X: I'm fighting a fascist state here!

Slade: No its communist and progressive!

X: Fascist!

Slade: Progressive!

X: Fascist!

Slade: Progressive!

(X and Slade start yelling at each other about conflicting government conspiracies while crowd looks on confused)

Random look-alike: This is stupid. When are they gonna blow something up?

Random Look-Alike 2: Yeah thats the only reason I came here dressed like this. I wanted to see explosions.

Actual Anarchist: This is gay! Anarchy isn't about dressing up like one person! It's about finding your look and then using that to spread the message!

Random look-alike: But we still get to litght stuff on fire right?

Anarchist: Yes, it wouldn't be mindless and chaotic if you weren't allowed to light stuff on fire.

GR: That's it! This plot isn't going by fast enough! (Presses button on chair and the whole studio explodes, GR is protected by lead shield, dust finally settles) Thats a wrap people good work! Alright let's clean this mess up and hit the bar.

(Raven comes up out of the fog)

Raven: I swear, this was the dumbest thing I've ever done.

GR: Whatever, I finished the movie. Here's your 50 bucks.

(Raven grabs money)

Raven: Great I'm gonna buy Beastboy that Video Game he wanted.

GR: I thought you hated him.

Raven: Well, I just wanted him to stop complaining about it. It's not like there's some kinda shrine to him in my closet. (Claps hands over mouth) This conversation didn't happen. (Leaves)

GR: Okay. See you next week when we continue with our next picture.

Half Charbroiled Slade: White Power! (Collapses)

(Robin stumbles out of fire)

Robin: You could have killed me! Did you know how much fire there was back there?

GR: No, but it was so awesome wasn't it?

Robin: I don't even know what the message you were trying to get across was.

GR: There is none! This is an explosion movie dumby!

Robin: That's bull crap! I just wasted my entire day doing this crappy parody and there isn't even a message in it! What about all the musings of government corruption and greed and...

GR: No one cares about that! Just put in enough explosions and everyone will be happy.

Robin: So what's the next film.

GR: I'm thinking of doing an epic, a supremely big budget extravanganza. Two families torn apart by war, devastation, tragedy, gun battles, love and southern accents.

Robin: Oh boy, I have a bad feeling about this one.

GR: Just do your job boy and put on this Confedrate outfit.

Next chapter, the Titans have to endure the craptacular epic of D.W. Griffith in a parody of Birth of a Nation and this time the brothers aren't taking it lying down.

For now Read and Review...