Chapter 6: Rombo: First Injury Part Deux!

or

Red 'Star' Scorpion

Starring:

Robin as Rambo

Red Star as the Disallusioned Communist Soldier who goes crazy and kills his former masters.

Beastboy as the Colonel

and

Vietnam Chicks we found in a back alley as the female intrests

General Rage was reading 'Infinite Crisis'

"You know I never really liked Superboy anyway." He said flipping the pages

Beastboy was reading Teen Titans #30

"Am I Kissing who I think I'm kissing?" He asked

Rage suddenly noticed what BB was doing and grabbed the comic away

"Sorry," he said "I shouldn't have left that out. Can't let you know what you just saw, it could endanger the future of your relationship."

"With who?" Beastboy questioned "Rae?"

Rage pulled out a pair of sunglasses and a MIB Memory eraser a flick of a button and a Flash went off

"So Beastboy," Rage asked "did you enjoy your trip to Disneyland?"

"Donald Duck still makes me laugh." Beastboy acknowledged

Rage suddenly realises that we are watching him once he sees the camera in his face

"Oh hi everyone," he says to the readers "me and BB here were just taking some down time. Everyone except me, BB and Robin are still trying to get over our last little parody so I've had to fill all the female roles with these Vietnamese prostitutes. Not that it matters though we pretty much won't use them, they're just here to provide entertainment to the crew. They worked so hard. Also Red Star finally showed up and is ready to star in the parody of the two most mindless 80's action films of all time. We couldn't complete our political parodies series without them. This isn't the last one but we're getting there.

"I get to be a high ranking officer!" Beastboy said happily "That means I get to boss Robin around. It feels good to have power."

"Whatever," Rage said before turning back to the reader "anyway if most of you are wondering how much longer we must endure these horrors, never fear. We only have a couple more parodies to go and we're home free."

"Than we can start work on more serious projects." Beastboy suggested "Like a parody of Harry Potter or something."

"I was thinking along the lines of a super crossover I have in the works," Rage explained "but yeah that works too."

Robin now came along in a costumne fit for the film

"Okay," Robin stated "I got the head band, the M60 and the bow and arrow. I'm ready to rock."

"And I got this sweet looking green beret." Beastboy said pointing to his hat "It makes me look all high and mighty."

"One last thing." said Rage, then he quickly grabbed a bottle of steroids and shoved them into Robin's mouth "Don't try this period, okay kids." Rage said to camer as he forced Robin to swallow the pills. When it was over Robin was suddenly pumped up

"Okay, now you're ready." Rage said to the buff Robin

"Isn't this lethal?" Robin asked gasping somewhat

Rage looked around shiftly

"Uh, maybe." Rage said rather unsure "I don't know. Everyone to their places."

(Opening, Robin in a prison quarry mindlessly crushing rocks, Colonel Beastboy steps up to him)

Col. BB: Hey Robin, how's life treating ya? Good?

Robin: No, I'm stuck in a prison quarry doing mindless work that doesn't benefit society. What am I in jail for again? The sun in this desert is starting to give me heat damage to my brain.

Col. BB: Well if I re-call you kinda went crazy and started a war against a small town constublary and an entire detachment of the national guard.

Robin: Oh yeah. But nobody died!

Col. BB: Well not on purpose. You killed that one guy who was shooting at you from the chooper.

Robin: Well too bad okay! I know police rules, they don't fire on someone who is unarmed. All I had were rocks, I had to defend myself somehow, right?

Col. BB: I'm sorry they sent you to such a hellhole.

Robin: I've seen worse, like this bar in Kentucky and this bar in Idaho and this bar in...

Col. BB: What about the Nam' prison camp?

Robin: Oh that, yeah that sucked the worse. They had no beer at all. That and the constant toture puts it on the bottom of the list.

Col. BB: Well I found a way to help you.

Robin: You did?

Col. BB: Yeah, a way to get you out of this place.

Robin: Great, just let me get out of these orange clothes so I can hit the local bar, I need a beer real bad. I also need a woman, these guys are getting a little too finicky in the showers.

Col. BB: Actually, its a special mssion and them cool looking computers we got dug up your name as one of three most likely to be successful.

Robin: What does that mean?

Col. BB: The other two aren't exactly what we'd consider military standards. Besides if we choose someone else this wouldn't be the movie's sequel. I mean it does bare your name. You can't possibly wanna stay here?

Robin: I'd rather stay here with Big Joe looking at me when I'm in the stall next to him. At least I know where I stand.

Col. BB: It's in Vietnam and you get to blow stuff up.

Robin: I'm all game!

(Big Joe slumps away all dissapointed)

Col. BB: Alright than, I'll send a chopper to pick you up at the airfield. (Walks away)

Robin: Hey BB!

(BB turns around)

Robin: Do we get to win this time?

Col. BB: (Sighs) Yes, yes we get to win this time. But mostly it relies on you. You get to go over to a crappy mudhole and kill all the communists there and liberate it from tyranny. For the sake of the arguement at least this film will make Americans stop being so down on themselves since they lost the first time. Still don't give the hippies too much credit for causing us to lose. That responsibility lies soley on Walter Cronkite for over exagerating the Tet Offensive.

Walter Cronkite: I just reported it.

Col. BB: You made it sound like we completely got screwed over! The Viet Cong weren't looking to actually gain anything but media coverage and you gave it to them!

Walter Cronkite: I just report what the public wants to hear okay, not what they should hear. Besides "Everthing is Fine" doesn't make good headlines and doesn't sell papers. "Everything is going to hell" gets you ratings. And thats the way it is.

Col. BB: Rage can you help me out?

GR: Not getting involved in this! (Continues to read DC vs Marvel) He, He, Spidey kicked Superboy's snobby teen ass. Funny. I'm so gonna get flamed for all these spoilers.

(Meanwhile in Russia at the Kremlin)

Russian General: Okay Captain Kovlar, alias Red Star, your task is to go to Vietnam and crush a rebellion against that country's communist dictatorship. You won't get disallusioned while your there right?

Red Star: (Whiny) No I won't.

Russian General: And you'll pack clean underwear correct?

Red Star: (Whiny) Yes I will.

Russian General: And you will eat your sandwhich I made you?

Red Star: (Whiny) Yeah fine whatever.

Russian General: That's a good violent communist oppressor, now run along and kill some dissadents.

Red Star: Finally, bye than.

Russian General: Remember to brush your teeth!

(Red Star runs off)

Russian General: They grow up so fast. (Wipes tear away)

(American Airbase in Thailand, which still likes America or something, Robin arrives at airbase in Chopper.)

Larry: Hey Robin, they got me to star as the annoying guy who tries to talk to you and ask stupid questions. (Robin says nothing) So what was it like in Nam' huh? Did you kill anyone huh? Did you jump in a chooper playing 'Duh-da-da-Duh-da' while blowing up a whole sea side shany town? Did you kill hippies? How many Hippies? Were they stoner hippies or just naked hippies or naked stoned hippies? Huh? Huh?

Robin: Rage can I shoot him?

GR: Don't worry I planned for this. Alright guys we need ritalin, stat!

(Doctors stuff Larry full of ritalin and he falls on the ground asleep.)

Robin: Why didn't I think of that?

GR: Because you don't have the resources or man power. Get on with the movie.

(Robin enters officer bunker where Col. BB and Val Yor are)

Val Yor: Ah Robin good to meet you. I'm the scumbag Washington Politician who won't technically be your enemy but will seriously piss you off by not trying to save if get into trouble on this mission. Now here's the plan, (Shows Robin a recon photo) we think this camp here is where they are holding the prisoners. We aren't really sure so we need proof. Here is what we do, you're gonna drop into enemy territory and make your way to the camp. If you find evidence of POWs in the facility than you gather evidence with this cool camera here. Under no circumstances are you to engage the enemy and once you get the evidence head for extraction.

Robin: And if there are prisoners I just leave them there?

Val Yor: There's another team of soldiers who will do the rescue job.

Robin: Great, this makes it sound like I'm not going to explode something.

Col. BB: You can have some fire crackers and this empty tin can, will that tide you over.

Robin:Yeah sure I guess.

Val Yor: Okay lets get you to the command center and give you some cool stuff to use on the mission.

(Later in the command center)

Val Yor: Okay we have several nifty pieces of techno junk to give to help on the mission. For example this superior disguise for all occassions!

Robin: It's a cardboard box.

Val Yor: No it an all purpose superior disguise.

Col. BB: No really, its just a cardboard box.

Val Yor: To the untrained eye yes, but get inside the box and put over your head like so...(Goes under the box) no one can possibly find me!

Col. BB: Isn't a random box in the middle of anywhere kinda noticeable, especially outside.

Val Yor: (Gets out of box) Well if you don't like it you can use that stupid ordinary bush camouflage. You people have no imagination. Anyway, if you feel alone out there Robin never fear, this room is packed with all kinds of cool junk to help your mission succeed. And we got all these really cool weapons too.

Robin: I always thought the mind was the greatest weapon.

Val Yor: Can your mind be shot out of a bazooka and straight into a battalion of enemy tanks causing them all to explode?

Robin: No, I'd probably be dead by the time you got it out of my skull.

Val Yor: Well then it isn't a very good weapon then is it.

Col. BB: Does everything have to explode to be a good weapon?

Val Yor: Yes.

Robin: Well exploding stuff is still cool. But I still wanna check this place out a little. Say is that a pinball machine sweet. (Goes to play pinball)

Val Yor: Colonel, are you sure this guy hasn't lost the edge? Cause I watched that documentary on shellshocked soldiers and I hear they go crazy if they return to a place of past trauma. You sure he can handle that kinda hell

Col. BB: Robin will do whatever it takes to accomplish a mission. That's his only reason for living. He can and he will find and destroy the enemy. And if the mission's success means that he has to die, he'll die. No fear, no regrets. And what you call hell, he calls home.

Val Yor: Wow, that sounds like a pretty devoted soldier.

Col. BB: Well actually if you give him enough alcohol he'll pretty much do anything. Most of his missions were completed when he was intoxicated.

Val Yor: So he drinks beer before he goes out?

Col. BB: Yep, three whole cases of it. I think he's gotten used to it though. He doesn't act as crazy anymore. First time around he assaulted an entire enemy column naked, drunk and screaming. It was so awesome. I got a video of it if you want to see it.

Val Yor: Nah, I think I'll just smoke this ciger here. (smokes cigar) Oh yeah, the cigar. The number one prop for pompous big wigs.

(Meanwhile in a Rebel shack, Red Star approaches a bed with knife in hand when suddenly the lights turn on Red X stands in the corner, with a game show host next to him)

Game show host: Congratulations! You've just stepped right into a trap! You've won a life time supply of failure! Failure, when you just can't win.

(Red X pushes host out of tent)

Red X: Next time don't wear such loud and noisy shoes.

Red Star: But these are standard issue.

Red X: I heard you come in the moment you stepped into camp. You landed on my early warning system.

Red Star: I just stepped on some potato chips at the gate.

Red X: Exactly. Now my guards will beat the crap outta you and return you to your superiors who no doubt kill you for failling.

Red Star: No they won't, they love me.

(Later at Russian camp, Red Star gets beat up for failing his mission)

Red Star: Stop shocking me it hurts!

GR: I'd go into detail about how Red Star escapes, but I have a better idea. (Begins to chant) DEUS EX MECHIMA!

(Tank crashes into Red Star's cell and gets him loose. Red Star than hijacks the tank and blasts his way out tof the camp and runs off into the jungle)

Red Star: I shall return for revenge! (Dissapears into foliage)

Russian General: He ain't coming back. Come on lets go drink vodka.

(Soldiers follow General)

(Meanwhile back at the American Base, We get to see that super sweet weapon montage, which includes the big knife, the little throw knives, the explosive arrow heads, and a pie because even a killing machine has to eat. Robin then meet Col. BB at the airplane)

Col. BB: Okay basically you're going to be thrown off a plane and into enemy territory. You'll then have to make your way to the prison camp upriver once there you will find the eivdence of whether or not there are POWs there and then high tail it back to extraction point.

Robin: The plane isn't going to screw up and snag my rip cord sending me into a violent tailspin and possibly killing me?

Col. BB: No. I'm sure its safe, then again if it was an easy insertion this would'nt be much of a film would it. Just be careful out there. It's a different Nam', different war.

Robin: Do people still die if they get shot?

Col. BB: Yes.

Robin: Then its the same to me. By the way, you're the only one I trust here.

Col. BB: Because Val Yor is an obvious scum bag?

Robin: No, they don't have cupcakes in the cafeteria. Thats a big problem.

Col. BB: O...kay.

(Robin gets on plane and flies off, Val Yor stands beside Col. BB on airfield)

Val Yor: Well, there goes the crazy gun totting nut job.

Col. BB: You do realize he's going to kill commies and this film will have explosions anyway right?

Val Yor: Yeah, but I don't care about it at all. Besides, I get to smoke more Cigars! (Smokes another cigar) Oh yeah, I am such a scumbag.

(Later in the airplane)

Robin: Okay time to jump out. (Jumps out of door and gets snagged by the turbulance making him get dragged alongside the plane) Ah son of a bitch! Why! Why the overkill? (Cuts away his equipment sacks) Oh no that one had the pie in it! (Cuts parachute cord) This was a bad ideeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! (Falls away)

(Command Center)

Col. BB: Well that was dramatic overkill.

Val Yor: He better have survived, I still have more cigars to smoke.

(Robin moves through the jungle in a rather boring cut of scenes. however there is dramatic music so we'll let it slide.)

Robin: Okay so how does this compass work again?

(Scary snake sneaks up behind him)

Snake: Beware me! I'm only five feet long and non-posoinous! There is also no way I can swallow anything bigger than a bird's egg! I'm no threat at all!

(Robin turns around and crushes snake's neck)

PeTA freak: ANIMAL ABUSE!

GR: The snake was rubber you idiot. (Continues to eat hamburger in front of him)

PeTA freak: I hate you.

GR: Because I'm not a vegean? Well at least BB doesn't force anyone to eat only tofu.

Col. BB: I just want them to try it.

GR: Hey get back to the set.

(Robin now runs into Vietnamese contact)

Robin: Blackfire?

Blackfire: Rage said I was the only one qualify since all Vietnamese have black hair. That and all the Vietnamse prositutes are busy with the teamsters.

The Only BF/Rob shipper in the world: WOHOO!

GR: Oh shut up, she dies half way through the film.

The Only BF/Rob shipper in the world: (Whiny) Oh. Why?

GR: It gives Robin the motivation to go all crazy and kill everyone on his own.

(Blackfire takes Robin to pirate camp)

Robin: You sure it is safe to trust pirates?

Blackfire: No, but who cares anyway.

(Blackfire pays boat captain and they set off for the prison camp)

Robin: Say, what happens if we run into patrol boats?

Pirate Captain: Allow me to flash these cool RPGs in front of you. I can't use them though because I'm drunk. (Staggers off the side of the boat but quickly climbs back on) I'm okay! (Staggers around and falls into water again but scrables back on boat) I'll be in the cabin.

(Robin lifts up the rug on the floor revealing weapon boxes in Russian writing)

Blackfire: Russian?

Robin: I think this is called dramatic foreshadowing.

(Later on down river)

Blackfire: So how'd you get into this.

Robin: After Vietnam I returned home to a new kinda war. A quiet war, against me and any other soldier returning. They treated me like dirt and didn't show me respect like other returning soldiers. So I left the army and wandered around a lot.

Blackfire: Like Billy Jack?

Robin: No! Billy Jack is the pussy version of Rambo and was made way before Rambo! Do you see the irony! So what about you?

Blackfire: Typically my father worked undercover for the CIA. When he died I took his place. There's too much death in Vietnam. I'd rather live in America to tell you the truth. It's what sustains me. What about you? What keeps you going?

Robin: I just want to win.

Blackfire: Is that why they picked you?

Robin: No, because I'm expendable. I don't really matter. Thats the kind of attitude us wandering war scarred action heroes take. Say that isn't another gemstone you stole around your neck?

Blackfire: Of course not! It's a prop that Rage gave me. Its suppose to bring good luck. What brings you good luck?

Robin: This super big knife! (Holds up knife) It's pretty sweet huh?

Blackfire: Yeah sure. (Rolls eyes at his machoness)

(Back at military base)

Val Yor: Oh yeah, this sandwhich rocks. It's like baloney or something, right?

Col. BB: Its made out of cigars.

Val Yor: (Looks at sandwhich contents) Well what do you know, it is! I am such a scum bag!

Col. BB: Anyway, I want to join the extraction team.

Val Yor: No way. Robin is so not alive.

Col. BB: Maybe we would know if he was if we gave him a radio or something.

Val Yor: I forgot to pack him one so what?

Col. BB: You said we'd proceed as planned.

Val Yor: Fine. You get to go on the extraction team. Now lets see how many cigars I can stuff into my mouth at the same time!

(Robin and Blackfire arrive at camp)

Blackfire: I told you it was empty.

Robin: Oh yeah than who is that?

(Random Sladebot wearing a Coonie Hat walks into view)

Blackfire: Well that's a surprise.

Robin: Not really considering this is a Conservative film. I'm gonna see how many prisoners they got, stay here.

Blackfire: I thought you were just suppose to take pictures.

Robin: I'm going to, of prisoners.

(Robin goes off to find prison cells, sneaking through the camp all stealthy like. Than he comes across American prisoners, one of them apparently crucified. Robin cuts the crucified one down and heads back to Blackfire with Soldier in tow)

Robin: Hey I found one! This is even better than pictures.

Blackfire: Hey look a couple of random guards.

(Robin Throws a knife and kills one of them)

Blackfire: You broke another order.

Robin: Relax, at least no alarms sounded.

(Alarm sounds)

Robin: Forget what I said. RUN!

(They all run back to the boat)

(Later on the boat)

Freed Prisoner: Say what year is it?

Robin: 1985.

Freed Prisoner: Dude, I've been a POW for like... 2 decades! Thats just wrong!

(Pirates than surround them with guns pointing at them)

Robin: We've been sold out!

Pirate Captain: I'm still drunk!

(Robin uses his mini-throwing daggers to stb one guy, use his body as sheild, steal his shotgun and turn it it on everyone on the boat. Blackfire kills one guy though. Than a vietnamese patrol boat comes along and Robin pushes both the prisoner and Blackfire off the boat. Than he grabs that RPG we showed earlier and fires it at the patrol boat. Bodies fly into the air)

Flying Bodies: Skittles!

(Flaming patrol Boat slams into pirate boat but Robin escapes just in time)

Robin: (Poking head up from water) That was sweet.

(Robin later nears extraction point)

Robin: This where I go off and you stay behind. I'm taking the prisoner out of here.

Freed Prisoner: I have a name you know.

Blackfire: Will we ever see each other again?

Robin: I dunno. (Turns to leave)

Blackfire: Robin, you are not ependable!

Robin: What? I didn't hear?

Blackfire: Nevermind! Clueless moron.

(Robin reaches extraction point but the Chopper just leaves him there)

Robin: I've been snubbed and backstabbed!

(Vietnamese surround him and recapture him and prisoner)

(Back at command, Col. BB burst in)

Col. BB: Val Yor! You backstabbing bastard! It was all lie wasn't it? Just like the war it was lie! You never meant to save POWs! Robin goes in, finds no POWs, congress buys it, and you don't have to worry about make reperations to Vietnamese to get them back, just like in 71. You just wanted to cover your ass so you didn't have to make a deal with the Vietcong to get the soldiers back!

Val Yor: I don't want to pay them. I need that money to buy cigars! Your boy was just supposed to take pictures.

Col. BB: And than you would have lost them somehow huh? The only people who know that he found anybody are you and your damn computers!

Val Yor: Well what do you want to do? Start the war all over again? Cause I don't! Then I Cuba will get pissed and won't send anymore cigars!

Col. BB: You smuggle them in?

Val Yor: DUH! I'm not going to start bombing Hanoi again just for a bunch of ghosts!

Col. BB: They're men you bastard! The least you could do is acknowledge that they suffered at the hands of the Vietcong and that they deserve as much respect as anyone.

Val Yor: Yeah whatever. I win, you lose. Game over. I'm gonna smoke more cigars.

Col. BB: Well let me tell you. You underestimated one thing in your plan.

Val Yor: What?

Col. BB: Robin. He's gonna kick your ass so hard.

Val Yor: As long as I can still smoke cigars I'm fine.

(Back at the prison camp, Robin endures torture from the likes of Russians and Vietnamese officers. Most of it being stuck in mud and pig poop with his hands tied above his head. That and an electroshock rack)

Russian General: You will now pay for your sins American. Because electroshocking you is fun. It makes you extra crispy and stuff.

Smoking Robin: I'm gonna kill you.

Russian General: Yeah sure you will. But like all bad guys I'm overly confident of my own abilities. Okay time to make a deal with your superiors and get them to pay us money to get you out, thus discouraging them from trying this again.

(Robin taken off torture device and given radio which contacts the Army base)

Val Yor over radio: Hey there Robin! How's it going? Tell me where you are and we can help you out! I mean you can't possibly believe I left you there to rot after calling the chopper back, Right?

Robin: Val Yor, I'm coming for you! (Takes Microphone for radio and hits his captors over the head with it. Than he practically punches his way out of the torture hut, grabbing the equipment he had on before his capture and runs into Blackfire) What are you doing here?

Blackfire: I came in here dressed as a whore and killed a guy and got his gun so I could save you!

Robin: Hey sweet whore outfit. I should get Star to try it on.

Blackfire: Come on, I know a way out!

(Blackfire and Robin shoot up everyone who tries to stop their escape and make it into a clearing)

Robin: We got away. No I just have to go back and kill my former captors.

Blackfire: Here take this bow and arrow set you gave me to look after before you got captured.

Robin: Great, now lets...

(Blackfire gets shot, Robin see shooters and guns them all down, Runs back to Blackfire)

Robin: Don't worry its only a flesh wound.

Blackfire: No I'm gonna die.

Robin: No, you'll make it.

Blackfire: Don't you understand I have to die!

Robin: Why?

Blackfire: So you can go crazy and win the battle on your own!

Robin: Oh.

Blackfire: Take my lucky prop necklace. And remember that I liked you sorta (dies)

Robin: NOOOOOOOOOOOO-ah okay time to go crazy and avenge her death.

(Ties a peice of Blackfire's red clothing onto his head as a bandana and prepares to go crazy and avenge her death)

GR: Star is going to kill him.

(Several awesome stealth kills later, including one where Robin becomes mud man and sneaks up from behind. Robin leads group of Russians and Vietnamese into a field of long grass by killing an innocent chicken and using its blood to make a fake blood trail that leads to kerosene jug. Robin lets them all get close and he set the place a flame. Than he fire and explosive arrow for dramatic overkill as everyone burns horribly)

Russian Soldier: Dear sweet god! It stings!

Sladebot with Coolie Hat: Skittles!

(Back with Russian General)

Russian General We must find the American!

(Bunch of rebel armoured car come out of nowhere and start shooting up the Russian's main camp to the tune of "Johnny Be Good." Every single Russian dies horribly! Than Red Star jumps out with all purpose assault rifle and blows up everyone else!)

Red Star: Die! DIE! This is for making me follow all your orders and making me eat your crappy sandwhiches!

(Russian General squeels like girl and runs away before he gets killed, Russian base completely destroyed. Red Star celebrates with hot rebel babes and beer.)

(Meanwhile Robin is caught in a gun battle against the Vietnamese prison camp commander. However, the camp commander is a sucky shot and Robin kills him with an explosive arrowhead!)

GR: I love overkill!

(A Russian Chopper flies over the waterfall behind Robin and tries to drop a bomb on him. Robin escapes and jumps into the water. The Russians then just shoot mindless at the water hoping to finish him off. But they get too close to the water and Rambo jumps out of water and kills the gunner. Than he jumps into the chopper. After a short brawl the Russian strong guy is thrown out of the chopper which is now several feet in the air since they started fighting. Pilot jumps out to his death as well because he's an idiot. Robin steals chopper and flies to the prison camp. He then proceeds to blow up everything! He then lands after practically every major building is in flames, grab the M60 gun that the Chopper's gunner is suppose to use and shoots his way through the remaining enemies. After that he frees all the prisoners and heads back to the chopper. The Russian soldier tries to stop him but he dies. The chopper takes off and heads back to the American Base. Than the Russian General comes in with his HIND super attack chopper and tries shoot him down. A spectacular chopper chase scene takes place. Soon Robin's Chopper takes too many hits and looks like its finished but he uses anothe rexplosion to land the chopper, play possum like he was shot and then when the HIND gets into position he fires at him with an RPG that was in the chopper and destroys the HIND. Super cool explosion! Russian General obviously dead)

GR: Just describing that scene is ridiculous enough. Maybe I should replace the missiles with exploding chickens in the editing room. That would be super awesome.

(Robin lands at American base and POWs recieve medical treatment)

Larry: Hey Robin! How'd it go?

(Robin punches Larry and goes into command center and shoots up all the computers Than he goes to confront Val Yor)

Val Yor: Hey, Robin. Look I'm sorry. But you know as well as I do that any still MIAs that are still alive and in captivity are dead by now. Besides it was all a part of my orders, I have to follow them

(Robin grabs Val Yor and sticks a knife next to his head)

Robin: Mission accomplished. Now I don't care if they are dead or not. At least find out what happened to them. And if you don't I'll come for you again.

(Robin goes out and meets Col. BB)

Col. BB: Well you managed to survive. What now?

Robin: I killed here, my friends died here, and a part of me died with them. So in lamens turns I'm back to being a brooding depressed ex-soldier.

Col. BB: Listen, Vietnam was wrong. Everyone realizes that. It was all just a big stupid game that in the end no one won. It shouldn't have happened and all that junk, but don't hate your country for it Robin. That's just doing what Billy Jack did and he's a pussy.

Robin: I don't hate my Country, I just want to be loved by thats all. I mean I came over here with the dream of defending my country and everyone makes it seem like I came over just to go around killing people mindlessly. I just want people to understand why the Army does its job. Not for the killing but for America.

Col. BB: You do realize that speech was sappy and clear cut.

Robin: Yes.

Col. BB: Okay, lets just say that United States military isn't run by a bunch of murdering whackos and that the people who volunteer aren't stupid children that need proctection but responsible and intelligent adults that know what they are doing.

Robin: Okay that works. Now excuse me I'm just gonna go off and brood.

Col. BB: See you for the sequel!

Robin: I guess.

GR: I'm not going to play that crappy song at the end of the movies for the credits forgbet it. Well that a wrap people. Now we just have to replace all those missiles with them exploding chickens and put in more sexy dancing babes intercut between sequences and we're good. We'll get that in editing.

Robin: I don't feel so good.

GR: Go lie down then.

Robin: I think it's the steroids!

(Robin bloats up his muscles to the size of cars so he can barely move. Robin is now just a big ball of muscles)

GR: SWEET JESUS CHERRIOS! What the hell is going on?

Robin: You asshole! You gave me those pills! I need to get to a hospital! God damnit I hate you!

(Crew of midgets singing "Oompa Loompa" roll Robin off of set)

GR: Well that was freaky.

BB: Can I keep the beret. It looks so cool.

GR: Whatever, I have personal bussiness to attend to.

Blackfire: Okay so do you have the reservations?

GR: All set.

BB: You two are dating?

GR: Hey, come on. She maybe evil, but she's hot! Give me a break. You don't see arguing about the fact you have the hots for a half demon.

BB: Huh?

Blackfire: He is so clueless.

GR: Indeed. Lets get out of here. After the movie we can go over to my place.

Blackfire: Sounds fun.

(GR and Blackfire leave)

BB: Why am I clueless?

(Raven comes up to him)

Raven: Hey nice Beret.

BB: Yeah ain't it sweet.

Sorry this took so long. Rambo is freaking hard to parody because its hard to take seriously at times. Sorry for the political messages in it. Just a little thing to mix up the action. Stay prepared for the next parody. And after that the grande finale as we go check out the Oscars!