Cheers to Vaughn for proofing this. And thanks to everyone else for reading and reviewing.
Draco Malfoy coolly surveyed the class from his seat in back. The year was already starting off well. Harry Potter and the Weasley boy, thankfully the last one, had earned themselves detention the first day by buggering up the Potions assignment. Admittedly, Eric Hadenthor and his friend Nathan had a bit to do with it. They dribbled a small amount of salamander bile into Potter and Weasley's cauldron before the other students came in. Far be it for Draco to tell on them, as he was curious to see what would happen when the bile was combined with the ingredients for a Vision Potion. The resulting explosion was quite satisfying, as was Professor Snape's reaction.
Now he was preparing for what has consistently been his least favorite class. Except last year. While he had no fondness for Umbridge, her constant harassment of Harry Potter made for a great deal of amusement. He almost looked forward to finding out what wild accusation she was going to make on a given day. He had no idea about the current Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. She seemed rather friendly, so he hoped she would be at least sympathetic to Slytherin House.
The rest of the students filed in shortly before the bell rang. The new professor came in, closing the door behind her and strode to the front of the class. She was young, Draco noticed, probably only a decade older than the seventh years. He wondered where she went to school. He heard the whispers from around him. Most were observing that she was very good-looking – perhaps a female version of Lockhart – and a few raucous speculations caught his attention for a short moment. He made sure his face appeared attentive.
"Welcome to Defense Against Dark Arts. I am Professor Ryselle Spellsinger, and I have been given the privilege of teaching you this year. This is my first year as a teacher, so I hope you will be gentle." From the slight smile Draco inferred that she was being slightly deprecating. He found her accent interesting. He speculated that she was from some part of Eastern Europe.
"Now, as I am unfamiliar with your level of progress, I will be evaluating each of you before we get started in earnest. It is my understanding your classes were irregular last year, thus it is necessary for me to test your knowledge. We will do evaluations this week, and then I will make a plan to get all of you caught up to where you should be, if it is necessary." She scanned the room, eyes settling on Harry Potter. It figured.
"Harry. It is my understanding that you and a number of your friends started a Defense Against the Dark Arts study group last year?"
"Dumbledore's Army, professor. We got together as often as possible to learn ways to defend against the growing power of Vol… him."
Ryselle's eyebrow shot up. "I would like you to give me a summary of what you did, if possible. Later. I am most interested in how you studied."
"Yes, Professor."
"Now, anyone else have experience outside the classroom in the Dark Arts? Defense or use, it does not matter to me. Besides you, Harry."
Most of the students raising their hands were from Potter's D.A. group last year. The others, five of them, were from Slytherin House. Draco rolled his eyes. Pansy, Blaise, Goyle, Hadenthor, and Nott were the only ones stupid enough to raise their hands.
Chatter erupted in the classroom as a result. Draco considered whether or not to join them, just for the amusement value. He decided to wait and see what happened.
"Which of you are familiar with the defensive part of the Dark Arts? Goodness. There certainly are a number of you. Is it safe to assume the rest of you possess experience in the usage of the Dark Arts?"
They nodded.
"Five of you. All Slytherin House. Is there a reason for that?"
Hermione Granger immediately raised her hand.
"Yes, Hermione?"
"Slytherin House was founded by Salazar Slytherin who was known to value cunning and power over honor. The Dark Arts attracts those interested in the less honorable path to magical power, thus it holds great interest for those following in Salazar Slytherin's footsteps. Slytherin House has produced some of the greatest wizards in the world, but unfortunately, many of them were evil."
"I see. Well, then, let me say that my approval of your experience with the Dark Arts does not mean I condone its use. My grandfather taught me to oppose darkness in all its forms, especially magic and those who use it for ill." She eyed the five Slytherin students sternly. "I would like to make use of your knowledge, but only in the context of teaching others to defend against it. I make no judgments here; I am simply stating the facts."
Draco decided it was a good thing he kept his hand down. The last thing he needed was the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher eyeballing him for being a student of the Dark Arts. Not that he ever had a choice, but he doubted she would be interested in an explanation.
The rest of the class passed quickly, and Draco was surprised to find he enjoyed it and was not bored at any point. The new teacher had potential. He hoped she would have a more successful time of it than the other professors. Several minutes before the end of class, Professor Spellsinger ordered everyone back to their seats. She leaned on the desk in front of the class, looking slightly uncomfortable.
"Well," she began, "I hope today proved to be satisfactory to you all." She smiled brilliantly when most students nodded their heads. "Good. Now. Headmaster Dumbledore asked me to take a short time out of our class so you can ask me questions about myself. Getting to know your teacher and all that. I understand there has been a certain lack of success at keeping this position filled with the same person."
"It wasn't always their fault." Draco easily heard Harry's muttered comment.
"So. Any questions for me? Now is your chance. Tomorrow we start really learning."
"Where are you from, Professor?" Leave it to Lavender Brown to start the questioning.
"Romania. I grew up with my grandfather there."
"Are you a Gypsy?"
She laughed. "Believe it or not, I am. My family was part of one of the Gypsy clans in the north of Romania."
"Did you like it there?"
"Yes, Parvati. It is very beautiful there. I liked it very much."
Draco was unsurprised when Hermione Granger raised her hand.
"Yes, Hermione?"
"Professor, you mentioned that you grew up with your grandfather and that he taught you to oppose dark magic. Was he your teacher or did you go to school somewhere?"
"Good question. Yes, my grandfather taught me magic, and no I did not attend a school. However, I did learn a great deal at the feet of my grandfather's old, wizard friends, so you could say I had a variety of teachers."
"How long did you study?" A Ravenclaw up front raised her hand.
"Since I was ten. That would be sixteen years."
Even Draco was stunned by that. He was surprised to find himself raising his hand. "Why so long?"
"It was a very thorough education. My grandfather insisted on teaching me how to control my magic after I turned one of my clan-brothers into a pig. He insulted me and I got angry. I am sure all of you had similar experiences before you came to Hogwarts." The students nodded. "As you know, Wizards are born with the potential to do magic. Most children have little to no control over their abilities, but at some point, the powers manifest themselves in an uncontrolled manner. It is usually around ten or eleven years of age that Wizarding children begin to evidence this. Hence, most of you started here at the age of eleven." She smiled fondly at the memory. "If he had not taught me to control my abilities, I would have been quite the danger to both of us. He began teaching me out of self-defense. I guess it took a while for things to sink in."
A few students chuckled at that.
"Professor, are you single?" Draco smirked at the audacity of the question.
"Uh… that is a rather unusual question." The slight color in her cheeks betrayed her embarrassment. "Theodore is it?" The Slytherin nodded. "I am not sure what the purpose of asking that is, but the answer is yes." Draco thought the boy looked relieved.
"However," she continued, her color returning to normal, "I am not available." Nott swallowed uncomfortably then nodded. "Next question."
"Why were you chosen for this position?" The professor raised an eyebrow at the abrupt question. Thanos hadn't even bothered to raise his hand.
"I suppose one would assume that Headmaster Dumbledore thought I qualified for it, Thanos. I have had a great deal of training in the subject, as well as experience utilizing that knowledge." She fixed him with a stern glare. "You would need to ask the Headmaster for any further details."
Acheron nodded abruptly, his face slightly red from the implied chastisement. It was only just, thought Draco. Only a moron would ask a question like that. Especially in such a rude manner. He smirked at the thought of how the new professor was going to view the arrogant Slytherin after this. It was going to be a fun year.
"Okay, one final question before the bell. Neville?"
"Uh, why, uh, did you decide to accept the position, Professor?"
She gave the shy young man an encouraging smile. "Another good question. Let us see if I can answer it appropriately." Her eyes turned distant as she considered. "All my life, my grandfather has done everything in his power to make sure I learned to use magic not only well, but for the right reasons. It his he who taught me to practice magic for the Light and how to fight against the darkness that inevitably comes into being as a result of the powers we wield. Teaching others has always been something that I wanted to do, but I honestly never really thought I would get the chance. My original plan was to join the Ministry as an auror. However, Headmaster Dumbledore was kind enough to offer me an alternative, and I am glad I agreed to it." Focusing once again on her students, she smiled. "And that is why I am here. Ladies and gentlemen, I look forward to our next class and would like you to read chapters one through three. There will be a quiz, but perhaps not the kind you may expect." The bell rang, signaling the end of class. "Good day! You are dismissed."
Draco gathered his books slowly, curious to hear what the other students thought. It was obvious the Golden Trio were delighted with the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, but that wasn't terribly surprising. He figured it was only a matter of time before Potter got on her good side. It would be McGonagall all over again. Thanos and his lackeys seemed to be focused on their teacher's physical attributes, which even Draco had to admit were impressive, and were deep in speculation about her nighttime habits and possible interest in students. Idiots. It was highly unlikely Professor Spellsinger would have anything to do with a student if Draco had to hazard a guess. He was typically very good at reading people, so he believed her when she said she was unavailable. It was obvious there was more to it, but that really wasn't his concern. He already had the information he needed to make this class a lot more enjoyable. At the very least, he could look forward to hearing about his father's reaction when he found out his only son was being taught by a potential auror.
Still smirking, Draco headed off to his favorite class – Potions.
The first couple weeks back at Hogwart's were a bit of a relief for Harry and his two friends, yet uncomfortable at the same time. Hermione and Ron refused to talk to each other, and Harry brooded silently leaving Ginny to fill the silence with rambling dissertations on the topic of the day. Harry was grateful for Julian's presence during those times, as the young man seemed to have a preternatural ability to keep up with the flow of conversation and avoid uncomfortable silences. It was obvious Ginny had become fond of him, and even Ron had to admit he was at least somewhat worthy of his sister. That more than anything shocked Harry.
Hermione threw herself into her studies like a fiend, refusing all invitations to Quidditch, Hogsmeade, or anything else not involving study. Harry was worried about her. It was obvious her experience with Ron had hurt her deeply, and it was all he could do not to take his friend out back and give him a piece of his mind. While it hurt more than he ever imagined to know the woman he recently discovered he loved was in love with someone else, he had to admit that she couldn't have chosen better. In fact, he came to the realization that she would be better off with Ron. The red-headed Gryffindor was not the target of the most powerful evil wizard alive. As much as it pained him, he knew there was no one else he could handle seeing her with. Ron was like a brother to him.
Ginny watched all this from the sidelines, her frustration building daily at the idiocy of her brother and his friends. At the very least she thought Ron would apologize to Hermione and let her know that he was mistaken in his assertion that Harry didn't love her. But the prat refused to do such a thing, stating simply that it was up to Harry and Hermione to work things out. After the first meeting of the new Defense Against the Dark Arts club, it became obvious to Ginny something needed to be done. She knew Harry was a lot better at magic than he had demonstrated, but figured he was far too distracted by his personal problems to be effective. Even Professor Spellsinger appeared worried and extremely surprised at Harry's abysmal performance.
They met in the Room of Requirement a few weeks after the start of the term. Harry and Professor Spellsinger had worked out a strategy to train the students. She appeared impressed with his knowledge and was satisfied to let him run the meetings. There were more people than last year, including the new Gryffindor Julian, as well as several people from other houses. Ginny even thought she saw a Slytherin.
Harry called the meeting to order and announced that they would meet every Tuesday, since that was the one day none of the Quidditch teams had practice. They would come to the Room of Requirement after dinner, and practice would last for an hour and a half. Some groaned at this, but Harry assured them they would understand why once they began learning. Professor Spellsinger was the sponsor of the club, and was there to make sure things went well, to answer questions, and to demonstrate new techniques. After Harry's short speech, he gestured for her to take the floor, and she stepped forward.
"I am glad to see so many of you have taken an interest in learning more about defending against the Dark Arts. I dearly hope you will never have to use what you learn here, but if you find yourself in a bad situation, these techniques should aid you in defending yourself. First of all, everyone needs a partner. Each of you received a slip of paper when you entered the room this evening. It contains the name of your partner and the spells you will be permitted to cast during this first duel. Please find your partners and prepare yourselves now."
There was a certain amount of grumbling. Cho Chang was upset that she was 'stuck' partnering with Neville Longbottom. Several others raised their hand to object at their partner choices, but were ignored by the young professor. Padma from Ravenclaw was not happy to be partnered with Owen from Hufflepuff. Ginny noticed the slight look of amusement on their teacher's face as she located her partner, Luna Lovegood, and chuckled. It seemed the professor had put them with the person most likely to irritate them. She had no problem being partnered with Luna, however, so she was curious as to Ryselle's plan.
Once everyone was with their partners – Harry was with the professor and Ron and Hermione were together, which Ginny thought was a disaster waiting to happen – the raven-haired Gypsy called the meeting to order and gave the signal to start. Things were calm at first. Everyone was sticking to their curses and dueling in a polite and seemingly organized fashion. But then Neville used the Bat-Bogey hex on Cho, and the incensed Ravenclaw responded with the Tarantulegus Curse, which caused the Gryffindor to lose control of his next spell. The situation dominoed and Ginny quickly found herself ducking curses from all directions.
The carnage continued for a few moments, and then suddenly stopped. "Nunc desisto!" Professor Spellsinger stood at the center of the room, unhexed and looking extremely annoyed. Gazing sternly at the students, she shook her head. "When Headmaster Dumbledore told me you had practiced defending against the dark arts last year, I had assumed you all had some manner of proficiency. I understand your education was interrupted by the intervention of the High Inquisitor, but that is no excuse for the fiasco tonight. Please explain to me why you all felt the need to randomly fling hexes about the room. Anyone?"
Neville timidly raised his hand. "Uh… Professor? It's my fault. I…uh…tripped and must have hit someone else. I think it was all just a bit of a chain reaction. We just all kind of…reacted."
"Badly, Mr. Longbottom. Yes, I am aware of what happened. However. That does not excuse any of you for your behaviour. As a matter of fact, all of you except Ginny and Luna hexed at least one person that was not your partner. That is unacceptable. In a battle your friends need to know that you are on their side. There must be trust. I saw very little of that here tonight."
Everyone had the good grace to look ashamed. Ginny thought everyone was a bit on edge because of what had happened last year, and Neville's accident just exacerbated the issue. They all reacted without thought, but with fear. She raised her hand to point that out, but Hermione beat her to it.
"Professor? Maybe we should have started a bit more simply. Many of us were in the battle at the Ministry of Magic. I wasn't the only one injured, and I think I speak for us all when I say that we're all a bit on edge because of it. Perhaps something less…combative to start might be in order."
Ryselle gazed thoughtfully at the Gryffindor prefect, and then smiled. "You would be correct, Hermione, and I am happy to see that at least one of my students got the point of this lesson." Professor Spellsinger tossed Ginny a wink as she said it. "Please, have a seat. The first thing one must realize when learning, is that no matter how much you know, it will never be enough. Someone will always know more than you, just like someone will always know more than them. Learning never stops. But it is far too easy to get caught up in your training and experience; losing the thirst for knowledge that drove you before because you feel there's nothing more to learn. Had I started you off simply tonight, many of you would have been insulted. You were at the Ministry of Magic, after all. How could I possibly doubt your capability?"
Ginny looked around at her fellow classmates. She knew she at least would have been a bit annoyed. It appeared she was not alone. Even Hermione seemed a bit chastened.
"I do this not to insult you, nor to set you up for embarrassment. It is for the purpose of seeing where you are in proficiency, and for me to discover how easily distracted you are." She smiled gently. "It is a fragile balance. On one hand, you need to pay attention to what is going on around you. But on the other, you need to make sure you are not reacting to things you should be leaving to others. Trust is the most important part of defending against the dark arts. Those who use the dark arts do not trust. They will always be alone. This is your strength, and their weakness." Ryselle paced around the room, illustrating her points with her hands. "The reason you have been placed with the person I have chosen, is because you need to learn to trust them more than any other. If you can trust this individual, you will be able to trust anyone else in this room. This is not a punishment or an insult, but a way to train you the best way I know how. If you can trust that I know what I am doing, it will be a good start."
The Defense Against the Dark Arts professor waited a few moments while the students pondered her comments. It appeared Ginny wasn't the only one who understood Ryselle's intentions. She could tell Harry was beating himself up mentally, and she wished there was a way to get him to stop being so hard on himself. He still blamed himself for Sirius' death, and for getting Hermione, Ron, and the others injured. The rift between him and his best friends just made the situation worse and that, Ginny realized, was the heart of the issue. Harry loved Hermione. Hermione loved Harry. But Harry thought Hermione was in love with Ron, who had told Hermione Harry would never love her. Bloody prat, she thought. It was a good thing the professor hadn't partnered her with her brother. She wasn't sure what she would do to him if given the chance.
Someone needed to intervene in the situation to resolve it. Ordinarily she would have gone to Hermione with her problem, but since the older Gryffindor was neck deep in it, she knew no help would be found there. It occurred to her that the new professor could help, but Ginny knew very little about her and was reluctant to drag her into things. She would just have to handle this on her own. Tonight after practice, she resolved to talk with Hermione and make her understand.
Ginny turned her attention back to the task at hand, and spent the next hour practicing shielding spells with Luna.
That evening, after the dueling club let out, Ginny tracked down Hermione who was fervently studying in the library. Of course. She was concerned about her friend's obsession with study – more than usual – and was determined things would be different after tonight.
"Hermione, we need to talk."
"Ginny, I'm studying. Can't it wait?"
The red-haired girl paused for a moment to study her friend, and then shook her head. "No. I think this is something we should take care of now. Trust me. It's very important."
Hermione sighed in exasperation. "Fine," she said, dropping her quill. "What is it?"
"I don't think you want to have this conversation here."
"What's wrong with the library?"
"Too many ears for one thing. Come on, Hermione, let's go back to my room. Mum sent me a box of brownies and I'm willing to share."
"That's friendship."
Ginny grinned. "Indeed it is. Come on!"
The two girls quickly made their way back to Gryffindor tower. The other girls were already asleep, having exhausted themselves at practice this evening. Ginny and Hermione were the only girls still awake, and as a result, the dorm seemed echoingly empty. Ginny grabbed the scarlet and gold-wrapped parcel and joined Hermione on the floor.
"Dig in."
The two girls ate in companionable silence for a few moments before Hermione's natural curiosity asserted itself.
"Okay, Ginny. What's all this about? I mean, I love that you're willing to share your mother's brownies…"
"But you want to know what's so important that I pulled you away from your studies."
Hermione nodded.
"Okay, you remember what happened during the summer?"
The older girl grimaced. "How could I forget?"
"Well, there were some consequences for that I think no one could ever have foreseen."
"Like what? If Ron's still having issues with the fact that he was being a…"
"It's not my brother, Hermione."
"What do you mean it's not your brother?"
"It's Harry."
"What? What do you mean it's Harry?"
"Just what I said, Hermione. This has affected Harry pretty severely."
Hermione looked at Ginny in disbelief, and then rolled her eyes. "Ah. Harry's having problems with the 'golden trio' not getting along. Well he can just deal with it, Ginny. I'm not going to go running back to Ron all apologetic just so we can get back to being the Dream Team. Ron is perfectly capable…"
"It's not that, either."
"…of giving me an apology and until that happens, I'm not budging."
"HERMIONE! Would you bloody listen for a damn moment?"
Ginny thought the look of surprise on the brown-haired Gryffindor's face was almost worth the exasperation. "Alright, let's get a few things straight here. One, yes, I do think Harry's unhappy that the 'Dream Team' 'golden trio' or whatever you want to call yourselves is broken up. It's been the only family he's had for the past five years. He also seems to be under a lot more pressure, so I doubt he's comfortable with having to go it alone…"
"…since when is he alone?"
"Since you and Ron abandoned him for your bullshit little argument."
"It wasn't little!"
"Maybe not, but I bet it's not as big as Voldemort."
"Ginny…"
"Despite what everyone else thinks, Hermione, a large part of the reason Harry made it this far is due to his friends. You and Ron. You've been there for him as much as possible and it's helped him a great deal. Now he's lost the two of you, and Sirius, not to mention he's being thought of as the harbinger of doom for the Wizarding world, oh and incidentally needing to be the one to fight Voldemort and save us all from that doom…"
"…I get the point…"
"…and all the other crap that goes along with being Harry Potter."
"Fine! I'll go make up with Ron. I'm sure he'll see reason if I tell him it's for Harry."
"That's not going to help this time, Hermione. It's a bit worse than that."
A chill ran up Hermione's spine. "What do you mean, worse than that?"
"Hermione, Harry thinks you're in love with Ron."
The room was silent for a moment, and then it seemed to register what Ginny just said.
"WHAT?"
"Harry heard what you said about Ron not thinking you were as good as other girls. He was also there right before you left. Hermione, you never said that it was Harry you were in love with or that Harry never loved you. You said 'he'. Harry took that to mean you were talking about Ron and now he's convinced you are madly in love with Ron and that Ron's being a royal prat."
Ginny never thought she would ever see Hermione struck speechless, but she was now. Her eyes grew wide as she began to understand. "So Harry thinks I ran away from the Burrow because I told Ron I was in love with him and he told me to bugger off?"
"Right."
"But why would that make a difference to Harry? I mean, I realize a relationship between me and Ron would be odd, but why would he have such a problem with it?"
"It probably has something to do with the fact that he's in love with you."
Hermione looked at Ginny in disbelief. "Ginny, don't start that again."
"Bloody hell, Hermione! I've been telling you for months now that he's got it as bad for you as you have for him. He's head over heels in love with you, and has been for some time. He just needed a bit of a push to make him realize it."
"Oh, like the possibility that I was in love with someone else?"
"No, Hermione, like you getting injured in the Ministry of Magic. Harry still hasn't forgiven himself for that. Neville told me what happened. He said Harry looked like his world ended when you got hurt. Only after he was told you were okay did he divert his attention from you."
"He could have been killed!" Hermione's stomach clenched at the thought of what could have happened while Harry was distracted. Tonight was a prime indication of that. Suddenly it occurred to her that maybe Ginny was right. Harry had been acting rather subdued around her lately. The looks he gave her when he thought she wasn't looking seemed almost pained, yet she could tell he was rigidly controlling himself. She had just assumed he was thinking about Sirius.
"Hermione, this needs to get resolved soon. Professor Spellsinger told us that the worse thing we can do is be distracted while we're fighting. Look at what happened tonight. Remember she said we needed to make sure we were at peace in our minds before we could truly harness the totality of our powers. More than anyone, Harry needs to be at his maximum capability, and…"
"I know, Ginny. I need to talk to him. I'm not sure how much he'll believe me, though. I…wasn't planning on saying anything to him about how I feel, but it seems my silence has affected our relationship more than if I had talked to him and confessed my feelings."
Ginny knew Hermione was afraid. She took the older girl's hand. "Hermione. He loves you. I know he does. He told me. He's not going to reject you or stop being your friend because you love him. I can't imagine him being anything but ecstatic."
Hermione knew Ginny would never lie to her about such a thing. Now she was angry with herself for not telling Harry at the beginning of the summer. The fight with Ron would never have happened if she had been together with Harry. Not that she thought everything would have been easy. Ron would have still been hacked off that he lost out again to his best friend. She sighed. She just never saw Ron that way. Not really. Sure, she had been attracted to him in that uncomfortable sort of way when they were 12. But Harry had always been there for her. It was him that she thought of right before seeing the basilisk and it was him she wanted to see as soon as she was un-petrified. He was always in her thoughts, and she always felt safe near him. Safe and loved.
And that was her answer. She should have thought of it sooner. She always felt something around Harry. Like an aura of…love for lack of a better term. When he looked at her it was like being in heaven, and the greatest feeling in the world was when he held her in his arms at the end of their second year. She honestly hadn't wanted him to let go. Even at that young of an age. She had been uncomfortable with Ron, but with Harry it was like she was where she belonged. Nodding to herself, Hermione got up and decided to go find Harry now before she lost her courage. Turning to her friend, she gave Ginny a quick hug.
"Wish me luck."
Hermione found Harry in the Astronomy Tower, leaning on the ledge overlooking the school grounds. His eyes were turned upward, as if he was trying to see heaven. Maybe he is, thought Hermione. Sirius' death still affected him deeply, and if Ginny was right, Harry felt more alone now than ever. She felt responsible for at least part of his sadness. Still lurking in the shadows, she decided to watch him for a few moments, and mull over what she was going to say to him.
Oblivious to Hermione's presence, Harry gazed at the stars deep in thought. The night sky was clear as glass, making it seem like he could see forever. The moon was a small sliver providing only enough light to fill the grounds in a soft luminescence. Tonight was the most beautiful he had experienced for a while and he found himself wishing he could share it with someone. Like Hermione. Loneliness was an ache in his heart and unfortunately could not be cured by any spell. He understood that she loved another, and he accepted that. But he wished that just one of the people he loved could be here for him. He idly wondered if Sirius and his parents were up in the heavens somewhere watching over him.
He casually strolled over to the north side of the Tower and sat down. Leaning up against the stone wall, he contemplated the past and future. Part of him dreaded the thought of getting older. He knew at some point he would have to fight Voldemort and only one of them would walk away. He wondered if he would actually be able to kill him. He killed my parents, he thought, and countless others in his quest for domination over the Wizarding world. It was his duty, his destiny to defeat the evil wizard or die trying. Only one shall survive, he remembered. The prophecy was very specific about that. Considering his performance at tonight's dueling club, he'd be lucky to last five seconds against Voldemort.
He knew the professor was disappointed in him. After everyone else left, she asked him to stay behind for a few moments for a chat. Part of him wanted to tell her to bugger off, but she had been such a good friend to him over the summer and was doing so much to help him at school that he felt guilty for his hostility.
"Please, have a seat, Harry."
He sat down in the indicated chair and patiently waited for her to tell him what she wanted. He concentrated on not showing his irritation.
"Harry. I'm sure you noticed tonight did not go as well as I had hoped."
"Yes, Professor."
"And you know why the others had such difficulties at first, correct?"
"Yes, Professor."
"What I would like to know, Harry, is what happened with you? I hit you three times with curses you could have easily blocked, yet you were slow to notice and slow to respond. Why? Are you not feeling well? If not you should have said something and I would have recommended we practice some other night…"
"It's not that, Professor. I…" He savagely bit down on his emotions, determined not to lose his temper with her like he had with Headmaster Dumbledore. "I'm having some…personal issues. I guess I was just a bit distracted."
"I see." She let the silence stretch for a moment, and then she leaned forward. "Harry. I understand that things are not easy for you right now. I have no doubt you are going though many things that I am unaware of, and that you do not wish to share with me. However, it is my responsibility to prepare you for your future encounters with the side of darkness, and I cannot accomplish that if you are distracted for whatever reason."
Harry's already frayed temper snapped. "Well I'm sorry, Professor! Maybe we can't all be so bloody perfect all the time! It's easy for you. You've had years of training. You were brought up by your bloody grandfather and taught magic from the time you were old enough to understand it. But I wasn't! I grew up in a cupboard surrounded by relatives that hated me and kept me ignorant of my wizard heritage! How the bloody hell can they possibly expect me to defeat Voldemort? The papers are right. I defeated him through a great deal of luck! Not to mention the help of my two best friends who are currently ignoring me in favor of their romantic difficulties. I was always afraid of this, you know. When Ron started being interested in Hermione, I thought to myself 'this is not going to be good.' And you know what? I was right! They hate each other! They might as well hate me! Julian's been the only real friend besides Ginny I've had since the beginning of the year and I CAN'T BLOODY STAND IT ANY MORE!" The sound of shattering glass brought Harry back to himself. He did what he had promised himself he would not do again – take his anger out on someone else. It was all so overwhelming, so much that he couldn't take the pain anymore. Emotions raging, he broke down and wept like a child.
Even in his despair, he felt Ryselle wrap her arms around him and murmur soft, comforting words. He cried, letting go of months of grief and pain, anger and rage. Part of him was ashamed for breaking down in front of her, but oddly enough, after spending a month seeking refuge at her house, she was the closest thing to a mother he had now. Molly was so worried about her own children that Harry didn't feel he should confide in her. He had no desire to add to her burden. Tonks, McGonagall, and the other teachers – they were concerned with other issues. It was comforting to have someone there for him, and for the first time in a long time, he felt safe and oddly enough, loved.
Ryselle let him cry for several minutes, until she could hear his sobs begin to subside. Then she gently lifted his face up and wiped the tears away. He could see an equal amount of grief in her eyes. With a start, he realized her sorrow was for him.
"Harry. I apologize. I did not know you were having so many problems. I…I only wanted to help prepare you for the upcoming conflict. Perhaps I chose the wrong issue to be concerned about. It is far too easy to forget that you are a sixteen-year-old boy with all the associated problems in addition to the joys of Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Is there anything I can do to help?"
Harry felt like a heel for taking his frustration out on his professor. "No, professor, I just need to figure some things out. I know you're right. Voldemort isn't really going to care about my problems. And I know he's not going to schedule a time where I'm feeling all nice and cheerful for our duel. I guess…I just don't know what to do." He looked in her eyes. "Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurts to think of them with someone else?"
Incredible anguish flashed in her eyes, and then was gone. "Yes," she replied softly. "I loved someone so much that I…it hurt not to be with him. I do not know how I would have reacted had he been with another."
"I'm sorry, Professor. I didn't know."
"That is alright, Harry. I understand."
"Do you mind if I ask what happened?"
She was silent for a moment. Taking stern control of her emotions, she regarded him sadly. "He died."
Harry felt like a heel. "I'm sorry, Professor, I didn't mean to pry. I just..."
"You are having issues with your best friends and from what I can see, romantic issues of your own. I will help in any way I can, Harry. You know that."
He nodded.
She looked at him appraisingly for a few moments, and then gave him a slight smile. "Harry. I think many of your problems might go away if you resolve things between you and your friends. My suggestion would be to talk with them." She held up a hand to forestall his objection. "I know what you are going to say. It will destroy your friendship. Well, Harry, from what you describe, there is not much of a friendship right now anyway. Talk with them. Tell them how you feel and how it is affecting you. They do care about you, Harry. They are just caught up on their own problems. Perhaps your test of trust is this. You must talk with them and there must be truth between you. Things will be a lot better for it. When you are ready, return here and I will begin your lessons in Occlumency."
He nodded, seeing her point. Headmaster Dumbledore told him at the beginning of the year he would be receiving training. He knew he needed it, but he also knew from last year's disastrous experiences with Snape that he was in no condition to master the difficult art. Ron and Hermione were no doubt caught up in the drama resulting from their estrangement that they were not noticing anything else. He needed to figure out a way to talk with them. Taking his leave of the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, he headed up to the Astronomy Tower for some serious thought. Now that he was up here, overlooking the school grounds, everything seemed so distant to him. Voldemort, Hermione, Ron, even that git Malfoy seemed far away. He needed this. Some time alone to think deep thoughts without having to explain himself to anyone.
The scuff of a foot on stone broke into his contemplation. Harry looked up, startled. He was even more surprised to see Hermione standing there. She smiled timidly. "Hello, Harry."
He sat up. "Uh, hi, Hermione."
She came over and sat next to him. "I thought I might find you here. What are you thinking about?"
He flushed, thinking that she really didn't want to know the subject of his thoughts. "Uh, I was just thinking about tonight's practice. It was really terrible."
She chuckled. "Just a bit. But we'll get better. Professor Spellsinger is right. We all needed to be shown that we're not quite as good as we want to think we are. Yet. We'll get there. Especially you."
Their eyes met at her last statement, wonder filling him at the absolute trust he saw in them. He knew his friends always had faith in him – Hermione more than anyone – but it was another thing to see it evidenced in the eyes of the woman he loved.
"Uh, I uh… thanks, Hermione. That means a lot coming from you."
"Anytime, Harry."
The two Gryffindors sat in silence for a few moments, enjoying the other's company. Hermione was glad she came, but was having difficulty figuring out what to say. Should she just blurt out that she loved him and hope for the best? Somehow that didn't seem to be the best plan. Glancing over at him, she could see the worry in his face and the sadness in his eyes. She wished there was something she could do to make him feel better. Acting on instinct, she took his hand, smiling at his surprise.
"You look unhappy, Harry. Is there anything I can do to help?"
Harry narrowly avoided spilling out all the thoughts clashing in his mind. He wanted to tell her, but he didn't want to destroy their friendship with his selfish wants. He loved her, but he was willing to step aside for her happiness. "No. Not really. It's complicated. I just… well, I was just thinking about a lot of things. I guess I just needed to be by myself for a while."
She looked down in embarrassment "Oh, well should I leave you alone then? I don't want to intrude."
"NO!" he exclaimed. "I mean, no, that's okay. I don't mind."
She smiled. "Okay. I'll stay."
"Good."
"May I ask what you were thinking about? You looked so serious."
Harry chuckled. "Well, a little about him, but mostly about…things that have been going on lately." He still wasn't sure how to bring up what happened over the summer between her and Ron. "So, uh, what brings you up here?"
"Ginny, actually. Well, in a way. She just pointed out some things to me this evening and I wanted to talk with you about them before things can get worse."
He looked at her curiously. "Like what?"
"Uh, well, you know, we've been worried about you. You know. Me, Ginny, and Ron. You haven't really been yourself lately."
Harry snorted. "Yeah. I'm sure Ron's real worried. Quidditch try-outs are tomorrow. Heaven forbid our star player not get enough rest to impress Warren."
"Harry!"
"Tell me it isn't true. I bet Ron's downstairs right now complaining that if I don't get my beauty sleep I'll fall off my broom and Gryffindor will lose the Cup to Slytherin."
There wasn't a lot she could say to dispute it. Ron had a tendency to be very focused on Quidditch.
"Next year is our last year and he really wants to make sure we go out with Gryffindor colors in the hall."
"I know. He talked about it all summer."
"True. But he's also your friend."
"Oh, yeah, right. I should have remembered."
"Harry! How could you say that?"
Harry was silent.
"You don't think that Ron has stopped being your friend because of…"
"You and him?"
"Uh, yeah."
"What do you think, Hermione? Or rather, what would you think if you were in my position?"
"Harry…"
It was now or never. "My two best friends have a fight over the summer and all of a sudden one of them leaves without a bloody goodbye and the other spends the rest of the time obsessing over becoming the greatest Keeper in history or spending all his time at Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes. What the hell am I supposed to think? We're supposed to be best friends, Hermione, but all of a sudden I'm out of the loop. Did I become extraneous because you fell in love with Ron or is there another reason?"
Hermione stared at him in shock. Ginny was right. He thought she was in love with Ron! No wonder he was so upset. He had to think that they rejected him in favor of a romantic relationship. It was time to put a stop to this. She squeezed his hand.
"Harry. I… I don't think you're seeing the truth of what's actually going on. It's… a bit more complicated than you think."
"So why don't you enlighten me?"
She tossed him a stern look. "That's what I'm trying to do. If you'd stop interrupting."
"Sorry."
Hermione got up and walked over to the tower's ledge. She looked out over the school grounds, thinking that tonight was perfect for what she was about to say. She only hoped Ginny was right about his feelings.
"This summer was probably the most difficult one I've ever experienced. The trip to France was wonderful, but it wasn't everything I hoped it would be. I spent the entire trip wishing for something." She paused, trying to figure out what to say. "I've thought about a lot of things over the past year, and my long distance relationship with Viktor kind of forced me to take a look at my life and realize something very profound. That's why we broke up, you know. He knew long before I did."
Harry was confused. What was she talking about? Her being in love with Ron?
She turned back to him, her eyes a mystery. "Harry, I…I really don't know how to say this. I've thought about it time and again for the past several months, but I really never thought I'd be having this conversation with you. You… we…"
Harry stood and came over to join Hermione. He took her hand, hoping to comfort her even as his heart was breaking. He never really thought about how difficult it had to be for her to tell him she had chosen one of her best friends over the other. He should have thought about that.
"Hermione. You don't need to say anything. I understand. I'm happy for you, really I am. I'll still be your friend no matter what. All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy, and if Ron makes you happy, I'd be a really poor friend if I had a problem with it…"
"Harry, you bloody git! It's not Ron. It's you!"
Shock rooted Harry to the floor. "Wh…what?"
Hermione looked into his eyes. "It's you I'm in love with Harry. Not Ron. I've loved you for years. I just didn't realize it until this summer. When Ron figured it out, he got angry. Really angry. That's why I left, Harry. Not because Ron rejected me, but because he told me you would never love me. I couldn't stand being there because it hurt so much to think…"
"I love you, Hermione."
"I…You do?" Her eyes filled with wonder and joy. Ginny was right! She flung herself into his arms. "Oh Harry! I've waited so long to hear those words from you. I honestly never thought I'd hear them, I mean I'm just…well… look at me. I'm a bushy-haired Muggleborn with an obsession with studying and a tendency to lecture. Cho Chang is beautiful, athletic, and extremely smart…"
"But not you. Hermione. Cho never had a chance with me because I was already in love with you. I just didn't realize it. You have no idea how amazing you are. How beautiful. I love your hair, your obsession with studying, and yes, your tendency to lecture. I could listen to you forever." He kissed her hand. "I could look at you forever." He kissed her other hand. "And I most certainly could love you forever."
Looking into her eyes, Harry could see the same roil of emotions he was feeling just being in her presence. There was love there, he saw, and so much more. They moved closer, slowly coming together to meet in a tentative kiss. The minor contact sent waves of emotion crashing through them both, and a moment later they were kissing again, this time with all the passion they were both feeling. Harry felt like he could fly, it was so wonderful kissing her. Her soft, warm lips moved beneath his, her mouth opening invitingly. His tongue darted in as he deepened the kiss, and the two Gryffindors held each other close as they declared their love without words. A shooting star flashed overhead, causing Harry to break the kiss. He smiled. It was the first smile she had seen from him in a while.
"I guess I don't need to make my wish anymore."
Her eyes danced in the dim light as she understood his meaning. How could she have been so foolish as to doubt his feelings for her? "Neither do I."
They kissed again, and then Harry led Hermione back to the north wall of the tower to sit down. He never let her hand go, smiling the entire time. Hermione realized that much of Harry's pain over the summer had to do with the misunderstanding between them. But she knew there was something else. She was reluctant to shatter the mood, but there needed to be truth between them. He was hiding something and she was determined to find out what it was.
She turned toward him and was surprised to find he was already looking at her. She blushed.
"Harry, I…"
"Hermione, I…"
They both laughed. "Ladies first."
She smiled. "I just wanted to ask you what is bothering you."
He looked surprised. "What do you mean?"
"Harry, it's obvious that something happened last year other than Sirius' death. You've had something very heavy on your mind and I'd like to know what it is." She took his other hand. "Harry, you can't keep it all in. Share with me. I'm your friend." Copying his gesture, she kissed it. "I love you."
His face was unreadable. "I…" he hesitated, "I'm not sure it's something you want to know."
"I want to know anything that bothers you, Harry. Please tell me."
Harry sighed. He really wanted to share things with her, but he also wasn't sure he was ready to tell her about the prophecy. He decided to tell her some of it. He could tell she was disappointed at his hesitation, and resolved to tell her everything at a later date.
"Hermione, please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not quite ready to talk about everything that happened at the Ministry. I still have nightmares about it, and probably will for a long time. It was there that I finally realized I love you, you know. When I saw you lying there, hurt because of me…" Tears filled his eyes. "I…I didn't know what to do. It was like I lost my heart, but then Neville said you were still breathing. Hermione, you have no idea how relieved I felt. There was no way I was going to let those bastards do anything to you, so Neville and I took you and the prophecy and ran." His face became cold and angry. "Then they killed Sirius. I…"
Emotions long held in check broke free within Harry. The flash of light. His godfather falling behind the Veil. Images flashed in his mind and for the second time that evening he felt his carefully won control failing.
"It's okay, Harry. I'm here." She held him close, trying to comfort him as much as possible.
Surrounded by her love, Harry felt it was a balm to his soul. It hurt that Sirius was dead, but he knew his godfather would never want him to spend his life grieving and moping. Especially if there was a beautiful woman holding him in her arms. He could hear Sirius telling him to get a grip. He hugged her tight, and then captured her lips again in a passionate kiss.
For the next several hours, Harry and Hermione stayed in the Tower, sharing the view and chatting softly about things they had never confided in anyone else. Harry felt relaxed for the first time in months, and happier than he ever had been. It was a huge relief to finally tell Hermione how he felt, and he was ecstatic she felt the same. He knew now why Ron and Hermione fought over the summer. He couldn't believe Ron said what he did to her. He was angry, but he knew confronting Ron about it wouldn't solve anything. It was going to be hard enough to tell his fiery-tempered friend that he and Hermione were together. He could only hope Ron would be happy for them.
"Ron's going to be really hacked off at us." He was surprised to hear Hermione echoing his thoughts.
He nodded. Breathing deeply, he reminded himself that things were rarely easy. He turned to her, and the breath caught in his throat as he saw how close she was to him. She's so beautiful, he thought. He smiled as he saw she was looking at him as well.
"Harry?" she whispered, trembling.
"Hermione…" he breathed in wonder.
Time stopped as they gazed into each other's eyes. Both of them were still amazed at what they found there. Hermione had always thought Harry would wind up with someone like Cho Chang. It was one of the reasons she took Viktor up on his long distance proposal. She never thought Harry would look twice at her. But looking at him now, she could see the emotion there, and the same wonder she felt. Her heart leaped in her chest. He really does love me, she thought.
Harry had always thought Hermione saw him as no more than a friend. He thought she was devoted to Viktor Krum and did his level best to be a good friend to her by supporting her long distance relationship. Even though it ripped his heart out. But now, looking into her eyes, he could see something more there. Something far more profound than friendship. It warmed him. He found himself moving toward her, again, unable to resist the temptation of her lips. Cupping her face in his hand he kissed her softly. She responded enthusiastically and they stayed that way, joined by their lips for several minutes.
A soft clearing of a throat interrupted them.
"Mr. Potter, Miss Granger, I can fully appreciate the romanticism of the moment, but this tower is going to be swarming with students in just a few minutes. I suggest you head back to your house."
They broke apart, surprised to see Professor Spellsinger standing there, smiling indulgently. "Go. Do not worry; you are not in trouble. But you should go before that changes."
The two Gryffindors blushed, and quickly headed back to their tower. Harry refused to let Hermione's hand go, so they ran through the halls, together, their hands joined.
They did not stop running until they got back into the Gryffindor common room. Hermione pulled her hand away, and turned to face Harry. He could see hesitation in her features now that they were no longer wrapped in their own world.
He placed a finger on her lips before she could say anything. "I don't regret anything that happened, Hermione. I've been dreaming of it for close to a year now. I want you to remember that I love you. I have for a long time. It just took a while for it to penetrate this thick skull of mine. You are my light, 'Mione."
She smiled shyly, taking his hand. "I love you too, Harry. More than words can describe. This has been the happiest night of my life." She gave him a quick peck on the cheek, and then ran up to her room. She felt like she was flying.
They both got only a few short hours of sleep, but both were so energized by the previous night's revelations, it did not seem to affect them.