LAN LIHUA VISIT #3

"Shibo! Shibo! Look what I made for you!" exclaimed Lihua as she eagerly tugged at his sleeve.

Xichen looked up from a book that he was currently engrossed in, putting it off to the side. Lihua had such a giant grin on her face that he was surprised that her face wasn't hurting from how big it was. In her tiny little hands was a large piece of paper covered in paint that had long since dried. On it were what he presumed to be several stick figures in various shapes, sizes, and colours scribbled on it. There were also several blobs with long ears on them. Were those supposed to be bunnies?

"Xiao-Hua, your Shibo is reading right now!" says Wei Wuxian as he comes up beside her. "You should wait until he's done before you show him your picture."

"Aww, but I want to show him now!" she protested.

"It's okay, Wei Wuxian…" he said as he patted the floor beside him, "I can always read that book later. For now, I want to see what my niece drew for me."

He watched as Wei Wuxian plopped down beside him, smoothing his skirts out beneath him. Lihua plopped herself down carefully on Xichen's lap, shifting her weight carefully so that she didn't accidentally hurt him. He couldn't help but feel nostalgic for when Sizhui used to sit in his lap like this when he was younger. It was then that Lan Wangji came in with some tea on a tray, confused by what's going on.

"What are you doing?" he asked as he put the tray down and poured tea for everyone.

"Our little radish is showing Xichen-ge something she drew for him," Replies Wei Wuxian proudly as he gratefully takes his teacup from him. "Do you want to see?"

Lan Wangji nodded and took his seat next to his older brother on his other side. Lihua was eagerly describing everything she drew with much detail and gusto. He could see the way her dark eyes glittered with happiness and excitement as she continued to ramble on and on. She almost reminded him of Wei Wuxian back in the day when he used to be so happy and carefree. She certainly was this man's disciple after all.

"What is this?" he asks her.

"They're all of us at the Cloud Recesses!" she told him happily. "Look! There's Wei-shifu and Hanguang-jun here!"

She points on the paper to two crudely drawn stick figures on the paper. One of them had a hastily scribbled on black and red hanfu with a messy ponytail. Beside that one was a stick figure with broad shoulders, long black hair and a white and blue hanfu. One of them had a huge smile on its face while the other seemed to have either a stoic or angry looking face.

"Xiao-Hua, we don't look like that do we?" laughs Wei Wuxian as he ruffles her hair.

Lihua's cheeks flushed indignantly before crossing her arms with a huff. Xichen could only shake his head, trying to stifle a chuckle as he set his cup beside him.

"Where's me?" he asks, trying to smooth things over.

Lihua points to another person on the drawing, next to someone with a stern expression and a beard- goatee combo, flanked by two other people. He could only guess who those were beside him. So she included Lan Qiren as well as Sizhui and Jingyi in here as well, huh?

"Well, it's a wonderful drawing," he says as he gently takes the drawing from her hands, "I think that something like this needs to be hung somewhere. Don't you think so too, Wangji?"

His brother quietly hummed in agreement while sipping his tea beside him. Xichen's cottage over the next few weeks would begin to accumulate all sorts of drawings from Lihua. Those pristine white walls of his cottage were now brimming with colour and life, something that he once lacked.

LAN LIHUA VISIT #6

"Shibo! Shibo! Lan-Xianshang told me you liked this song!" chirps Lihua happily. "I'm going to play it for you right now!"

At that mention, Xichen looked up from his work, a curious expression on his face. It couldn't be THAT song right? Did Lan Qiren really still have something like that years later? Before he could think another thought, she began plucking the first few notes and singing. It was apparent that she was still a beginner as she would sometimes pluck the wrong note by accident. Her voice occasionally squeaked whenever she tried to hit a high note, something that indicated that she needed a lot of vocal training before she could tackle more complex songs. Her voice sometimes wavered on lines, an indication of how nervous she was about singing in front of an audience.

And yet despite this, something about this song awoke something in him, something he had tried to bury so very long ago. He had taught Guangyao this very song to him back when they were still courting each other. It was a song about two people of different social classes gradually falling in love and meeting up with each other in secret at night. No matter how many trials they both went through, their love eventually persisted. What was once a happy memory was now nothing more than a sad bittersweet memory from days long gone. It was from a simpler and happier time, back when that man shone as brightly as the sun and his heart hadn't yet been consumed by darkness. Back then, had he really known the real him? Or had his heart always been shrouded in so much darkness?

"Er-ge! Er-ge!" chirped Guangyao happily after he finished playing. "Look! I finally managed to master this song! Didn't I do great?"

Xichen laughed as he wrapped his arms around the younger man's waist and nuzzled his face into his neck. He currently had him sitting on his lap as he was teaching him how to play one of his favourite songs. He lifted one of Guangyao's hands to his face to plant a kiss to each of his knuckles.

"Good job. I taught you well my little grasshopper," he chuckles softly, "perhaps you won't need me to teach you anything else one day."

"Don't say that!" says Guangyao as he turns around to face him. "There's still so much in this world that I don't know about! Things I want to do and learn!"

He threaded his fingers into Xichen's own hand, clasping them tightly in his own.

"That's why I want you to teach me all about them, Er-ge. As good as my memory is, it can only take you so far if you don't have anything more to add to it."

Xichen just laughed as he squeezed his hand back. They were so soft and warm despite being scarred by a life of hard labour and war.

"Well then, I suppose I'll just have to add more things to this memory of yours," He chuckles suggestively as he leaned in to kiss him. "Something only I can teach you."

"…bo? Shibo? Are you okay?" asks a small frightened voice.

Xichen suddenly snapped out of his trip down memory lane, looking into the confused and scared face of his martial niece. He touched a hand to his cheeks, surprised to find them warm and wet with fresh tears. When had he begun to cry? Lihua looked at him with an expression that looked like she was close to tears herself. His heart broke as his cottage was instantly filled with the sound of her distressed sobs, each punctuated by a wet hiccup as she balled the front of her robes into her hands.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry…" she wailed as she began to rub her eyes with the back of her hands, "I…I didn't mean to make you sad! Please don't cry, shibo! Please don't be mad at me!"

What had he done? He made a child worry about him! He was supposed to be the strong one here, the one children were supposed to look up to as a role model. How could he even call himself a sect leader if he made children sad like this? Wiping his tears away with the back of his hand, he pulled the sobbing child into a hug, comforting her as she cried into his shoulder, all while he was rubbing her back with one hand.

"Shh… it's okay, it's okay, Xiao-hua," He cooed, trying to calm the crying child down, "I'm not angry at you."

He pulled her in tighter, running his fingers through her short, fluffy hair as she continued to sob into his shoulder. Her crying seemed to die down to a few whimpers and hiccups as her hands curled the fabric of his robes into her fists. His shoulder was now completely drenched in tears and snot.

"Y-you're not?" she asks timidly.

"No, I'm not. I…I was just thinking about a dear friend of mine. This song was something I taught him a long time ago, but he's gone now."

Lihua looked up at him with a curious expression, her dark eyes now puffy and still brimming with tears. Xichen took a handkerchief from his sleeve pocket and dabbed her face clean with it. He watched her as she took the handkerchief from him and blew her nose with it, it now having become red and swollen from how much she was wiping and blowing it. How could he explain himself to a child?

"Do you miss him?" she asks him, her bottom lip still quivering.

"I do," he says, his throat tightening as he wipes more tears from his eyes with his thumb, "I miss him every day."

He felt so conflicted about missing a man like Jin Guangyao, a man who had lied to him and stained his hands red with the blood of countless others. Did he deserve to have people mourning for him? And yet despite this, he couldn't deny how much he missed him after he had passed away. How could you ever forget someone you made so many happy memories with? He felt her throw her arms around his neck again. He could feel such warmth and gentleness radiating from her tiny form that he almost felt like he was drowning in it. He could feel her tiny hands tangling themselves in his loose and messy ponytail, almost like was trying to comfort him in her own little way.

"…want Shibo to be happy…"she mumbles, burying her face into his neck. "…want Shibo to smile again."

Ever since he could remember, he was always helping others with their problems no matter how big or small they were. He'd even thrown away his own chance at happiness with his beloved because he thought that he would be happier with someone who could give him children. He now regretted letting him go like that. To hear someone, let alone a child telling him that they wanted him to be happy this time around was something he wasn't used to. He could feel his eyes filling with tears again; his heart feeling like it was going to burst.

"…Thank you, Xiao-Hua," he whispered, tears now freely flowing from his eyes as he hugged her back.

She truly was his little brother's disciple after all. He carefully picked her up and walked over to a corner of his cottage where the winter sun was filtering in through a large window. They both sat there in silence, with Lihua on his lap watching the snowflakes drifting down from the winter sky and him reading to her a book she had brought along with her until she nodded off to sleep against his chest. Although he had his days where his grief would completely overwhelm him, at least he knew that on those sad and lonely days, his family would always be there for him.

LAN LIHUA VISIT #9

"Shibo! Shibo!" calls a tiny voice excitedly.

He looked up from shovelling the snow from around his cottage to see a tiny flurry of white and light blue robes waving to him from a distance. If the wall of discipline hadn't forbidden disciples from running, he would bet she would have run like the wind towards him. Slung around her arm was a little wooden basket covered in heating talismans. Did she bring snacks with her? She trotted up the path leading to his cottage, freckled cheeks and nose with a nice tint of pink to them from the cold. After she caught her breath, she saluted him with not even a single strand of hair out of place.

"Oh, Lihua, what are you doing out here all by yourself?" he asks

"This young disciple has snacks for you," she replies as she raises her head and gestures to the basket hanging around her arm. "Would you like to try them?"

Xichen couldn't help but let out an amused smile. She was just too adorable! He couldn't help but be reminded of Sizhui when he first started living here at the Cloud Recesses. He was a ray of sunshine here in an otherwise dark part of his brother's life, much like Lihua here. Of course, Sizhui and Jingyi would also occasionally visit him from time to time, but as the months and years wore on, they too would be too busy to drop by. They had their own lives to live after all. They didn't always have time to visit a recluse out in the woods. This is what made Lihua's visits with him all the more special to him.

"This uncle would love to try some," he replies with a small laugh. "Let's go inside shall we? You must be freezing out here."

"…And then Wei-shifu taught us how to do the silencing spell! It was so cool!" says Lihua, her dark eyes sparkling with excitement and admiration.

Xichen could only shake his head as he took a sip of his tea. Who would have known that Wei Wuxian, the man who proclaimed to never want to live at the Cloud Recesses would now be married to his little brother and working as an instructor here? And with a disciple of his own too no less! A lot had changed in the three years he's been stuck in seclusion. The world continued to move on without him while his heart continued to be trapped in the past. Time waited for no one it seems.

"Is that so?" he says, swirling his tea around in his cup. "It sounds like he has a lot to teach you."

"He does!" she said as she took a sip of her tea. "He's even teaching us how to do archery!"

As she continued to ramble about how cool Wei Wuxian was, he popped the lid of the basket she had brought along and was delighted to see some steamed buns inside. They were still wafting steam and warm to the touch. What was even better was the fact that they had been shaped in such a way that they resembled bunnies.

"What do you think?" she asks, an expectant and pleading look in her eyes. "Hanguang-jun taught me how to make them! Aren't they cute?"

"You made these?" he asks as he pulls two buns to examine them. "They're adorable."

Lihua nodded vigorously, her eyes sparkling with excitement. They indeed looked like they'd been made by a child. Some of them had lopsided faces or asymmetrical ears. Others had tails missing or weren't perfectly round, but that didn't matter. All that mattered was that someone cared enough to make them for him. He hands one to Lihua, who happily tore into it without hesitation. He took a tiny nibble out of his bun and was pleasantly delighted to find that it was filled with red bean paste.

"Does it taste good?" she said as she licked some of her fingers clean. "Hanguang-jun helped me make the filling!

"I see Wangji has taught you well," he said warmly as he finished the rest of his bun. "It's very good. Thank you for making this for me."

He'd always been used to eating the mostly flavourless and vegetarian meals of the Gusu Lan Clan so to have even something that was chock filled with flavour was a nice change of pace from what he normally ate. When was the last time he ate something this good? Not since…no, he couldn't spoil this visit thinking about Guangyao. That was inconsiderate. He spent the rest of the afternoon making small talk with Lihua until it was time for her to go home for the day, the taste of red bean paste still fresh on his lips.

LAN LIHUA VISIT #12

"…The Handsome Monkey King thus led a flock of gi…gi… Shibo, what does this word mean?" asks Lihua, pointing to a word on the page.

"That word says gibbon, Xiao-Hua," Says Xichen as he lowered her hand down from the page they were reading from. "It's a type of monkey that lives in the mountains."

Lihua blinks for a few moments, her tiny hands currently playing with a lock of Xichen's hair as she's mulling his words over. She then looks up at her martial uncle, her eyes filled with curiosity and wonder.

"Shibo, do we have monkeys here in the Cloud Recesses?" she asks.

Xichen shakes his head no with a small laugh, gently pushing Lihua's hands away from his hair.

"We don't have those here," he says, a hint of amusement in his eyes, "I don't think we'd be able to get any work done if we had monkeys living in the Cloud Recesses."

The Cloud Recesses prided themselves as cultivators that were otherworldly and righteous beings that lived in a home that was far separated from the realm of the common folk. To have monkeys living here would disrupt the tranquility and calm that they were so famous for. Not to mention they'd give the disciples here even more reasons to break the rules. Though if he was being honest here, he didn't think he'd ever seen a monkey, let alone a gibbon in person before, even on a night hunt. Although he could count the various children he's ever interacted with in his lifetime in and out of the Clouds Recesses as his little monkeys. They had more energy then he'd like to admit they had, even with all the rules they had in place.

"Reading Journey to the West I see," laughs Wei Wuxian as he comes in bringing a tray of tea and snacks with him. "You know, my shijie used to read this to me and my shidi when we were both kids. We loved this story so much that we'd stay up until the wee hours of the morning listening to her read it to us because it was so good. Although, we'd later get scolded for staying up so late by Madam Yu in the morning."

Lihua hopped off of Xichen's lap to run over to Wei Wuxian. As Xichen watched Lihua happily chattering away to her shifu, he couldn't help but imagine what life would have been for him if he became a family man and had his own little ones running around the Cloud Recesses. If he had just put his foot down and said that he wanted to marry Guangyao instead of breaking things off with him, would they have had a chance together?

He noticed that his hair was starting to come out of that ponytail he usually tied his hair in and began to unravel the ribbon that held it in place. Ever since Lihua had begun visiting him more, he'd started to take care of his appearance. He was a sect leader after all, even if he was in seclusion. Although his hair was still a bit dull and brittle to the touch, it was starting to regain its former glossiness and shine. Lihua looked up from her conversation with Wei Wuxian and walked over to him, curiosity plastered on her face as she watched Xichen carefully detangling his hair with a comb. She looked like she had something she wanted to say, which she did as she nervously cleared her throat.

"S-S-Shibo?" she asks nervously, "I-if it's okay with you, can I…arrange your hair for you?"

Xichen paused halfway through working through a particularly stubborn mass of tangles. He looked at her with wide eyes, caught slightly off guard by the words that came tumbling out of her mouth. Wei Wuxian later came up behind her placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Xiao-Hua, your shibo has servants that can do things like this for him. And besides, I think he can handle his own hair," He says as he gently patted her shoulder.

Xichen stopped fidgeting with his hair as if to think about something. He then looked up and gestured for her to come over to where he was, which she did. He placed his comb into her hand, which caused the smile on her face to grow even wider. Wei Wuxian's eyes widened at the sight of this.

"Xichen-ge, are you sure about this?" he asks him.

"I'm sure," he says as Lihua begins to carefully comb through his hair. "It doesn't hurt to indulge someone once in a while."

Despite her small chubby hands, Xichen was surprised by how gentle and meticulous she was in making short work of those tangles. When Sizhui was younger, he'd sometimes pull a little too hard on his hair if he was putting braids into it, like most children would if they got the opportunity to play with someone else's hair. Lihua on the other hand seemed to weave her fingers through his hair like she had been doing this for years. After detangling his hair, she separated it into three strands and began to work her magic. She would occasionally apologize to him if she accidentally tugged a bit too hard, but she seemed scarily efficient at doing hair well. After a few moments, she took his hair ribbon from his hands and felt her securing it into his hair.

"And I'm done!" she exclaimed happily as she secured everything in place. "What do you think, Shibo?"

Xichen reached behind him and realized what she had done. Although it was a bit messy and there were tufts of hair that came out here and there, she managed to make a single long braid out of that mess of tangles he had before. Nonetheless, he couldn't help but admire her handiwork, fiddling around with the tail of his braid.

"Thank you, Xiao-Hua," he said with a smile, "I love it."

He would from then on continue to wear his hair in a braid if he was feeling more ambitious with how he styled his hair. The servants that would come by to clean and deliver his meals would comment on how nice he looked with a braid.

Author's Notes: So people have been begging me to write Alice here interacting with her uncle, which I did at last. I wasn't sure how I would do it but, I settled for this format. I admit I also teared up a few times writing that drabble of Xichen and music, but at least he finally got that hug he's been long denied.