Disclaimer: Everything that does not belong to me, belongs to Nobuhiro Watsuki and associates (Jump Comics, Shueisha Inc. etc.) Everything that does belong to me, does not belong to you.

A/N: What's this? Am I really updating? Are you dreaming? Could it be possible? The answer is: yes, to all questions. Except no, you're not dreaming (are you?)

I do have to apologize for the lengthy hiatus I went on, and know I've probably been abandoned by many reviewers because of it. But no matter, I will press on accordingly.

I really missed fanfiction, you know? And now I'm really happy to have this chapter out right before I go see Brokeback Mountain.

Anyway, regular updates should be expected, and also, I have finally decided to abide by the rules. Meaning I will no longer put review responses in my chapters, instead I'll use the nifty "review reply" feature they just added. Which also means that if you send me an anonymous review with no e-mail address, I will be very grateful but will not be able to thank you accordingly, or reply to you. So, sorry, but thanks for your support anyway!

And on to chapter four!

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-PART ONE-

Don't be afraid to take a big step. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps. -David Lloyd George

Chapter Four

Choose

She was the first thing he saw when he returned. She was sitting cross-legged on the floor of the porch, the late afternoon sun casting a shadow across the topmost part of her face.

Kenshin slowly set down the groceries, gaping at the vision she made. Her hair was short and tucked behind her ear so he could see the scar on her face more clearly than ever.

"Naruku-dono," he said quietly. He hadn't seen her at all that morning, as she had slept in. It was her custom, these days.

Kenshin shuffled over to the porch where Naruku sat, but balked as soon as he reached the steps.

It was difficult to make out her expression with her eyes half-lidded and the stark shadows across her face, but suddenly Kenshin got the feeling that she was angry with him.

He stood at the bottom of the steps for many silent moments before she spoke.

"Am I just some sort of joke to you?" she asked in a cool voice. Kenshin did not miss the tremor in her tone, nor the bitterness. He said nothing.

"Or did you feel sorry for me? Were you just humoring me, out of pity?" she spat the words at him.

Kenshin bowed his head, but did not say a word.

Naruku turned her head away from him quickly, as if she had been stung. Her lips pursed and an odd mourning expression doused her features. "Did you ever…really teach me Hiten Mitsurugi?"

When Kenshin again remained in silence, Naruku laughed bitterly. Tears began to fall slowly and she reached a hand to her cheek, just to touch the droplets. He did not deny her.

"Of course not," she answered herself, her voice quavering. "Hiten Mitsurugi will never be the sword that gives life."

Finally Kenshin looked at her. He raised his head and let his large violet eyes penetrate Naruku's cool façade.

And then, all at once, she snapped. The tears came steadily, pouring out of her eyes and making her gasp for breath.

"Don't look at me like that!" she said angrily, wiping her tears fiercely, even as they continued to fall.

Kenshin didn't say anything.

"Like—Like I won't understand or something! I hate that," she sobbed quietly.

And at last, Kenshin spoke; though he chose his words wisely as though he thought they might be his very last.

"A sword is a weapon. Swordsmanship is a way to kill," Kenshin spoke in a quiet, steady voice. "…Understand that."

Naruku looked at him, shocked and hurt. Whatever it was he meant by those words was hidden from her. It felt like an added blow to her turmoil. He did not deny her, no, he was agreeing with that hurtful truth. She had known it all along.

Kenshin lowered his eyes from her tears and stepped up the porch. Her eyes were on the floor as he stepped past her to the front door.

Naruku shook her head and got to her feet. She had one thing only on her mind and that was to get away. She couldn't think.

Through her tears and in her desperation to leave, she didn't see Kenshin turn back around, his lips poised delicately to say something more. When all he saw was her fast-retreating back, he closed his mouth and turned away.

He could not shield her anymore, could not protect her from internal chaos. He could not tell her pretty lies, not anymore.

"I'm sorry…"

"Just like old times, eh Koneko?"

Sano was rather jovial and cheery when Naruku turned up at his doorstep. It was just beginning to rain outside so he had let her scramble in quickly. Night had fallen and part of Sano wondered what could drive Naruku to a place like Ruffian's Row at a time like that. Who knew what could have happened to her, especially in her current vulnerable state.

Now the two of them settled down on the floor of Sano's flat, tucked beneath the linen covers of their futons, listening to the plunking of raindrops on the roof. Naruku was sure there was a leak somewhere; she just hoped it wasn't near her.

Just like old times…

It was true, this sudden arrival at the longhouse was reminiscent of a time before, when Naruku had run from the dojo. From Kenshin. She seemed to be getting pretty good at that.

Just like old times, eh?

"I don't know what you're talking about," Naruku replied stubbornly, and turned on her side, away from Sano.

She had come to him because there was nowhere else to go, and she knew she'd be safe with him and he wouldn't ask too many questions. Though, judging from past experience, he'd probably make her go back to the dojo, that seemed like something Naruku would be ready to do on her own, given enough time. She felt it was right.

She heard soft breathing and wondered whether Sano was asleep yet or not. In any case, she rolled over to her other side where she could see him, though only barely through the darkness.

"Sano…thank you," she whispered, and then closed her eyes.

She got only a sleepy grunt and a rustling of linen cloth in reply.

As Naruku attempted to fall asleep, she thought deeply. This was the first time she was willing to re-evaluate herself since…since Enizu. She was sick of it, really, and she was ready to get over it. She owed everyone that.

More than that, Naruku decided firmly. She owed herself that.

When sunlight hit Naruku the next morning and she awoke, she was surprised to see Sano already up and about. She yawned sleepily and pushed herself to a sitting position, legs crossed and eyes trained on Sanosuke as he pulled on his white coat.

"Mornin'," he said to her casually.

"Good morning," she returned the sentiment. "Going somewhere special?" she added teasingly.

"As a matter of fact," Sano replied, his eyes twinkling. Then he grew serious. "I need to make some stuff up to Megumi…you know."

Naruku nodded slowly and watched as Sano crossed the room and went around her to start putting on his shoes.

"Are you gonna be okay on your own, or do you want me to walk you back to the dojo?" Sano asked.

Naruku was very taken aback at his matter-of-fact tone. Who said she was going back so soon?

"I'll be fine," she answered hastily.

Sano pulled on his second shoe and stood up, his hand on the door handle.

"Wait—Sano," she said, getting to her feet quickly. Then she stood up on her toes and put her arms around his neck. "Thanks. I mean it. You're a great friend, and I really hope things work out with Megumi."

Sano patted her on the back and they broke apart. "I could say the same for you. Good luck."

He turned and stepped outside.

Sighing as he left, Naruku plopped back down on the ground. She knew what she had to do.

Hurriedly getting herself together and combing through her short hair, she slipped outside into the warm, humid air. Staring up at the gray, overcast sky, she set out on her way.

"You know why I agreed to have lunch with you," was the first thing Megumi said after she met Sano at the Akabeko.

"Free food?" Sano suggested.

She scowled at him. "Oh really, are you paying? For once?"

That stung quite a bit, but Sano probably expected it. "Listen Megumi. I really love you. I know you love me too."

"I already said, that's not good enough," Megumi answered darkly, crossing her arms.

"I know, I know," Sano replied, using his hands to make a 'calm down' motion. "And I've been doing a lot of thinking, Megumi. When I was away and after I came back. I've probably thought more in these past couple weeks than the rest of my life."

Megumi snorted. "I wouldn't be surprised."

Sano must have looked particularly hurt, because Megumi then sighed and uncrossed her arms.

She didn't apologize, but she did decide to take the bait, and that was something. "Pray tell, what were you thinking about?"

"Us. Well, more than that. Us being together. For good." Megumi looked ready to refute this idea, but Sano held out a hand. "Hear me out."

Against what was probably her better judgment, Megumi decided to do so.

It wasn't that she didn't want to get married. It wasn't that she didn't want a loving family and children just like any other woman. She wanted all that, of course she did. And did she want that with Sano?

Yes. It was just…it was very hard to believe he wanted all that. After the number of times he'd taken off like that, it was hard to trust him and think of him as a steady, worthy husband. Too weird. He had one lifestyle, and she had another. She did not condemn him for it, but she knew he was a free spirit and she couldn't tie him down.

He said he wanted to marry her, to be with her forever, but Megumi felt that Sano hadn't thought it through. He didn't knew what that entailed. Sure, he had foreseen the love and happiness that came out of it, but he probably hadn't stopped to think about the sacrifices he would have to make. They both would have to. He couldn't be that wild, free as the wind man anymore.

He was staring at her with those wildly intense brown eyes. That look that made her breaths shaky and her stomach flop. And, were she standing, she knew her knees would be quivering violently. All from that stare.

"I left so I could see the world," Sano began, reaching over the table to Megumi's hands, but she tucked them under the table, hiding them from view. "But it wasn't…it wasn't the world without you."

Megumi looked at him, the hard, steely expression gone.

"Want to know something?" Sano said in a low voice.

Megumi nodded and leaned forward.

"I had a pretty shitty time," he said, breaking into a grin.

"Really?" she asked, her eyes fluttering. Her hands returned to the surface of the table.

"Yeah. God Megumi, all I could think about was you and how I could be spending time with you. Helping you…loving you," Sano said, reaching once again for her hands.

But again she pulled them away, a small frown on her face.

"Megumi?" Sano said softly. Just when he thought she was coming around…

"Yes," Megumi answered stiffly.

Sano took a breath. "Well, there were all these things I thought I wanted to do, you know. I thought if I didn't…go somewhere, I couldn't be some one. I hate being no one. And I thought if I saw things, and did things, I could be someone, you know?"

Megumi nodded, her eyes down on the fine grains of the table. All this time…she thought Sano was being stupid for not thinking realistically about them. That he should have known he had to give things up for her.

But it struck her in that moment, and Megumi thought, did she want to be the person he had to give all that up for? He'd always been too big for the small box of Tokyo—of Japan, even. And she had been waiting for him to settle down, but suddenly she felt like that would be doing a great injustice. To him, and to the world. It wasn't right for her to hold him back. She knew that now she could accept him as he was—free, a wandering spirit. All she could ask for was him.

"Sano," she said suddenly, silencing him. "I'm sorry."

Sano stuttered helplessly for a moment or two. "You're—what?"

"I'm sorry," she said, looking straight into his eyes, probing, asking, pleading. "You deserve all that, you really do. You deserve to see the world and be someone. You deserve to do all the things you thought about before. I know you want to do right by me, Sano, but I'm asking you to do right by you. Don't deny yourself the world just for me. I'll still be here, I promise."

And Sano looked at her with some unfathomable emotion in her eyes. Since the first moment they'd kissed, she couldn't remember him ever looking at her like that. It was gratitude, adoration and a beautiful, unsurpassable love. Megumi held this intense stare, feeling tears prickle the corners of her eyes.

Be free, Sanosuke…I love you for who you are. See the world, and I will wait here, always.

"…No."

The word cut into the dream-like connection between them. For a moment, Megumi thought she had just imagined it. She had hardly heard it at all.

But Sano was shaking his head, a warm smile spreading across his face. His hand ran up and down her arm and he was shaking his head and laughing and smiling.

"Megumi, two minutes ago I wasn't even sure if what I was saying was right. Now I know it is. I wasn't sure how ready I was to be with you, even though I said I was. I'm ready now, I know it in every bone of my body," Sano said.

This was the happiest Megumi had ever heard him, but she was desperately confused. She shook her head; she didn't understand.

"Listen, Megumi. The fact that you want to let me go, that you'd wait for me and accept me as the ruffian I am is proof to me that I am ready to put down that lifestyle. I am more than ready—I want to."

Megumi's head shook, and she was crying and shaking and laughing all at once. "But—but all the things you wanted to do—Sano, you can't…c-c-can't…"

Sano reached across the table to touch her cheek and stroke her hair as she sobbed.

He shook his head, still smiling. "No…no, that doesn't matter, not anymore. Because when you see something beautiful, that's over the minute you leave. But when you have something so wonderful…when you create something, a marriage…children…That's for life, Megumi. And I can't wait to have that life with you."

And that was the second that Megumi truly believed him. He meant every word he said. He was more than willing to 'give up' his lifestyle in exchange for a new, more wholesome one. With her.

Megumi looked at him and saw the tears in his eyes, which only made her cry harder. But it was a wonderful sort of crying, because she felt she was overflowing with happiness, and the tears were really droplets of her joy pouring out, because she didn't have room for anymore.

Sano reached across the table, nearly standing up to get close enough to cradle her head in his hands and let their noses and their foreheads touch and finally, their lips touched in the most emotionally thrilling kiss either of them had ever experienced.

"So this is it, right?" Megumi said after they broke apart, their face still so close and their eyes pouring into each other. "No more messing around."

She chuckled and they kissed again, this time with enough passion that it left Megumi dazed as they came apart.

"I love you a lot, you know?" she said quietly, her eyes half-lidded.

"I think I may have some idea," Sano answered, grinning. "We should get back home."

Trying to suppress the huge smile that threatened to split her face, Megumi stood up and took Sano's arm, letting him lead her outside and down the pathway.

Megumi could not remember a day that had looked so beautiful, with big, plump rain clouds hovering overhead and the smell of spring fluttering past. No, she thought again, there certainly never was a more blissful day.

There never was a more wretched day, Naruku thought darkly to herself, shuffling along the road back to the dojo. The thick humid air hung about her and up above were fat gray clouds ready to burst to send stinging, ice-cold droplets of water on her skin.

Naruku passed the sign announcing the Kamiya Kasshin dojo almost without noticing, but soon she was within the gates of her home. She knew she was ready to talk to Kenshin again, but that didn't mean she was jumping at a chance to. She was still quite irate with him for what he had done, and what he hadn't. At least, she thought wryly, she was more in control of her emotions than she had been in weeks.

Fuming, she made her way up the porch steps and went inside. Thinking it peculiar that she hadn't run into at least one of their many borders so far, she made her way down the hallway, wandering rather aimlessly throughout the house.

Her anxiety rose when Kenshin was nowhere to be found. She spotted Misao, but she had been just leaving and in any case, was of no importance to Naruku at that moment.

Finally Naruku came upon Kaoru, which was lucky because her apprehension was very near to engulfing her.

"Oh—Naruku!" Kaoru said, blinking in surprise. She was walking down the hall with a basket of laundry in hand.

"Where's Kenshin?" Naruku asked in a rush, not even bothering to give Kaoru a proper greeting.

Kaoru was even more taken aback. "Um…he left, Naruku. He's gone."

Before she could get another word out, Naruku whirled away, her eyes widening and her breathing very labored.

Gone. She said to herself.

The next moment she was flying into her room, thrashing around for warm clothes and other traveling necessities. She almost screamed with the stupidity of it all.

"That—idiot!" she yelled. All of her anger toward Kenshin had been effaced by this new desire to see him. Why, why, why did he leave?

It was her fault, Naruku knew and acknowledged this resolutely as she finally got all her things together in her bag and pulled it tightly closed. He had gone, left, who knew where and it was because of her! Why did she say those things to him—why?

She felt like crying, but she willfully held it in. She would not cry, not this time. This time she'd go out and find him and be strong and say what she meant to say.

Hesitating for a moment, Naruku bit her lip and then grabbed both her hanashitou and Akeri's dagger and buried them deep inside her bag. They were opposite sides of the same burden, blame she had to shoulder.

Hoisting her bag up, she sped out of her room without a backward glance. And then, with pointed determination, she left the dojo to find Kenshin. At last she was doing something, going somewhere. At last she was setting herself on a path, along which her demons were not welcome.

Choose--End

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A/N: I'm actually very pleased with this chapter, no matter what anyone says. I love conflict-resolution! Hehee…dorkiness. I'm especially satisfied with Megumi and Sano's subplot, which worked out quite nicely for me. I'm a little under whelmed with the fight between Naruku and Kenshin, but I didn't feel it would be best to draw it out.

Next chapter, Naruku finds Kenshin and a whole slew of confessions and accusations arise from there. Lots and lots of conversation, I hope you're all up to it when chapter five arrives!

Quickly before I go, I'll remind you of the RKRC awards, of which I am an entry as Author of the Year. Should you deem me worthy, please go vote! A link can be located in my profile.

Please review, every comment I receive is another smile and another boost to get writing!