Disclaimer: Everything that does not belong to me, belongs to Nobuhiro Watsuki and associates (Jump Comics, Shueisha Inc. etc.) Everything that does belong to me, does not belong to you.

A/N: I really, really meant it when I said "regular updates." I meant every seven to ten days! Unfortunately, some things can't be helped, and among those things are illness and spending four days in bed with a fever of 102. As if that weren't bad enough, I had the majority of a week to make schoolwork up for! And suddenly we've been plunged into the holiday season too! It's enough to make a girl go crazy, I tell you!

In any case, I truly apologize for the long wait, again, and promise that the next update will be soon! Before I leave for vacation.

Tanoshimu!

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-PART ONE-

Tell me are you feeling lost, have you crossed

In the places that you never knew to get through

Tell me are you gonna cry all night

Tell me the truth, and I'll tell you the truth

--Ben Lee "Gamble Everything For Love

Chapter Five

Understand

Time passed as Naruku trotted down the paths and streets of Tokyo, but she didn't know how much. It was hard to focus on anything other than the continual pounding of her own feet on the ground. It was out of the question to try and figure out how and where she would find Kenshin, and what she would say to him when that moment presented itself.

Soon after passing several milling teenagers in the marketplace, Naruku ran into someone. Hard. She stumbled back and looked up, bleary-eyed. She recognized the face at once, but it was not who she was seeking.

"Aoshi!" she cried, and her brain tried to formulate her next thought.

Aoshi inclined his head to her. He paused for an uncertain moment and then spoke. "You're looking for Himura, I presume."

Naruku's eyes glanced off in a different direction, and for a moment she looked very, very lost. "Yes," she whispered. There was a small intake of breath before she went on, "Kaoru said he'd gone and I wanted to follow him…to find him, only I don't know where he went, or why!"

She didn't quite sound hysterical, but there was an edge of urgency and her voice had gotten quickly louder.

Again there was a moment's hesitation from Aoshi before he replied, "You misunderstood."

Naruku let out an almost unconscious gasp and turned sharply to Aoshi, her eyes cloudy. She had misunderstood what? Was he mocking her for believing she had learned Hiten Mitsurugi? What on Earth was Aoshi saying?

For a moment she didn't think he was going to continue, but the moment petered out and he cleared his throat.

"Himura isn't gone, and it certainly would be no feat to find him," Aoshi said tersely.

Naruku's eyebrows knitted together at once. Then they sprang apart and her eyes widened. "You mean, you could tell me where to find him?" she exclaimed.

"Of course. Had Kaoru-san been more careful with her words, you wouldn't have had to waste time down here. Himura departed around the same time as you last night, and he certainly made it no secret about his whereabouts," Aoshi responded.

Naruku immediately scowled. Now Aoshi was just teasing her! He was mocking her by implying how silly she was for leaving that night, and further indicating that had she stayed like a normal person, she'd know exactly where Kenshin was and neither Aoshi nor Naruku would have had to put up with the whole charade!

This was the reason Aoshi could be so infuriating. He had always teased her so deftly that she wasn't sure whether or not he was actually doing it on purpose.

Fortunately, Aoshi was in a generous state of mind and no sooner did the scowl appear on Naruku's face than he appeased her.

"Himura-san went to discuss some issues with the police inspector. He went up to the Fujita Manor and is expected back this evening," Aoshi told her resolutely.

Naruku stared for several moments, lost in thought.

"Well, if you're going to catch him, you'd better hurry," Aoshi's baritone voice cut into her musings. An extra jab with his elbow sent Naruku on her way.

"I had a run-in with Naruku this morning," Aoshi said placidly to Kaoru over lunch.

"Uh-huh?" Kaoru answered, her mouth full of rice-balls that Misao and Soujiro had spent all morning making.

"She seemed to be under the impression that Himura-san had left," Aoshi said pointedly.

"You mean like, when he came to Kyoto?" Misao piped.

"Oh…that," Kaoru said, swallowing and lowering her eyes slightly. "She startled me this morning with the laundry so I blurted out that he had gone, which he had. Before I could explain properly, she'd shot off to her room. I assumed it was just to throw something…or think things over, you know. By the time I was done with distributing the clean laundry, she'd gone. I'm glad she met up with you, I was getting worried."

"Naruku-san certainly seems to enjoy taking off without notice," Soujiro observed. "She's lucky to have all of you to look after her when she does such things."

Misao nodded. "But imagine if Himura had gone off wandering again! Ha!"

Kaoru frowned and waved her chopsticks. "Don't laugh at that Misao-chan, it isn't a pleasant thought!"

"I'm only laughing because it's so unlikely to happen!" Misao argued. "There's no way Himura could possibly leave again, don't you think?"

"I don't know, I haven't really thought about it in a while," Kaoru said thoughtfully. "I suppose the optimistic thing would be to agree with you, so I will."

Together the two of them chimed cheerfully, "There's no way Kenshin would leave!" and fell over giggling, much to the bemusement of the two men at the table.

"I'm glad those two are enjoying themselves…"

By the time Naruku reached the Fujita Manor, the rain had started up again. To take cover from the fat, heavy drops, Naruku leaned up against a Crepe Myrtle tree that was just in view of the Manor.

Her lips were settled into a small line and her eyes were squinted and focused. She couldn't help getting wet, so her short hair hung dripping from her head, but Naruku believed she had discovered a major advantage of having short hair. It certainly didn't drag when sopping wet and it didn't get terribly tangled either.

As Naruku viewed the Manor, she reconsidered her choice to recklessly rush after Kenshin without a single cohesive thought in her head. What would she say to him?

If she turned back now, it wouldn't be that much of a waste. Surprisingly, it had not taken Naruku much effort to get directions to the Manor. All she had done was head over to the police office.

Everyone there had been friendly and helpful, which was odd because the last time she'd been there, she had been spending time…in one of the prison cells. No one seemed to remember that, however, or they were just in the practice of handing out their boss's home address to random, soaking wet girls.

Of course, when Naruku had been in jail, it had been Saitou who let her out. Most likely a lot of the officers there thought the two of them were friendly with each other, which couldn't have been further from the truth.

Naruku shook her head and uncrossed her arms. She picked up her bag at her feet, the one she'd packed back when she thought she'd be blazing through most of Japan looking for Kenshin.

She shook her head again. Her mind said no, but her heart said yes. Her body said no, too, shivering so strongly that it was clear not a part of Naruku wanted to go out in the rain again, Kenshin or no.

She ignored it and stepped out from under the tree, just as a clap of thunder sounded.

Another bad omen, but Naruku didn't care.

She turned up on the Fujitas' veranda several minutes later. It was certainly a big patio, with large, thick doors in front of it. Naruku found her eyes wandering as she looked around at the gardens and the wind chimes above her, which were clanging around due to the rain.

As her eyes wandered, Naruku couldn't help but feel she was taking all of this in differently than she would have. It almost felt as if she were experiencing everything for the last time, as a prisoner on death row.

While that wasn't true, there was a certain sense to the feeling. It could very well be her last moments doing a completely commonplace thing as the person she was. Who knew how she could change after this? Naruku knew that the next time she stepped out on this porch, something would be completely different.

"My! You must be freezing! Hurry, come in!"

Naruku was jolted out of her reverie by a strong, maternal voice. "Oh, M-miss!" she exclaimed.

An elegant woman in her thirties was positioned in the doorway, which was now open, exposing the front entrance of the Manor. The woman had long silk black hair swept into a knot on the top of her head. She wore a kimono of soft ash, its hem embroidered with a flurry of green and blush pink hummingbird feathers. She was beautiful in a wise, cultured sort of way, her face slanted and rather angular for a Japanese woman.

"You're lucky I needed to check on the nursery! Yoko would have never let you in so quickly. Well, get in before you freeze!"

Startled, Naruku lumbered inside, suddenly aware of how cold the water on her legs and neck was.

"You're here to see Himura-san now, aren't you?" the woman asked kindly.

"Um, yes, who are you?" Naruku blurted, completely forgetting herself in the presence of such a dynamic woman.

"I'm Tokio, dear. I think we'd better get you dry and changed before going up to see Himura-san just yet!" she went on, leading Naruku away from the entrance hall.

"Just—Just I need to see him," Naruku cut in hastily, her voice getting high and loud so she almost shrieked it. "Please," she added breathlessly.

"Oh very well," Tokio replied, waving a hand. "This way."

She swept down another corridor and Naruku nearly tripped over her own ankle to keep up. She had her arms around her, clutching at the sides of her soaking yellow gi, and she didn't feel she could ever move them again.

"How did you know I was here for him?" Naruku asked as they half-jogged down the hallway.

"I've heard about you," Tokio said simply. "That's why he's here, isn't it?"

"Is it?" Naruku asked, confused.

Tokio didn't answer, but stopped walking very suddenly, her kimono fluttering at her ankles.

Naruku took very special care not to bash into Tokio at the sudden stop. She waited patiently as Tokio turned towards one of the doors.

"This is his office," she whispered to Naruku.

Naruku was about to reply, but Tokio held her head very close to the door and her mouth partially open. It looked like she was listening to something, so Naruku stayed silent.

"Ah, there," Tokio said finally, smiling in a satisfied manner and jerking her head away from the door. She turned towards Naruku, beaming warmly at her. "You can go right in."

Naruku blinked once, twice, three times. She shrunk back. Suddenly she was aware of how quiet the hallway was, how cold the water on her body was and how strange she must look, standing outside of a very rich police officer's home-office, soaking wet and wondering what would happen when she stepped through that door.

Inhaling deeply through her nose, Naruku shouldered all of this sudden thought and grasped the handle of the door. She leaned inward as she slid it open slowly, inch by inch.

Inside it was dark and smelled rather musty, but Naruku could see two men sitting on either side of an oak desk. One man was tall and angular, smoke trailing out of his mouth. The other was small, short and Naruku couldn't see the expression on his face. Nor could she guess it.

When Naruku had slid open the door about halfway and her face was poking into the office, the two men at the desk turned to look at her.

Her head clunked against the doorframe as she peered back at them.

Kenshin's expression changed very quickly and he almost shot out of his seat.

Seeing him was like a sudden rush of fresh, ice-cold air. It stole Naruku's breath away and also cast a pink glow on her cheeks. Her stomach seemed to drop and now rested somewhere at her feet. She was aware of nothing but the man in front of her.

She took several steps forward, unable to tell how she was managing it when her knees felt like they were melting and there was an odd, rattling notion in her chest.

"Naruk—" Kenshin began.

"Shh…"

By that time she was just two steps away from him. She braved these steps unflinchingly, keeping her eyes level with his and trying to keep her eyes dry and her vision focused. Still, the image of Kenshin swam in front of her until she felt she'd collapse with the dizziness of it all.

"We're finished here," a smooth, drawling voice said, successfully cutting the moment short.

Saitou passed a packet of papers across the desk to where Kenshin's hand rested. The hand moved away, but his entire body seemed focused only on Naruku.

"May we have a moment?" Kenshin said, the question directed at Saitou but his eyes still on Naruku. She didn't miss the slight tremor in his voice, and it was a sound she had not heard often.

"You may have an entire afternoon…I certainly don't need this dump," Saitou replied, going to join his wife outside. It was hard to tell whether he was being sarcastic or not, but it didn't matter. He wasn't going to be getting his office back for a while, it seemed. At least, neither Kenshin not Naruku seemed to keen on the notion of moving.

This was where their paths converged and this was where they would continue onward. It happened that way, and so it was. They were alone in the dank, musty room, but suddenly it seemed a little less dim.

The door shut behind Saitou and they heard his footsteps and slight mumbling. There was a sharp intake of breath from both Naruku and Kenshin, but neither of them spoke.

"Naruku…" Kenshin breathed after some time.

She lowered her eyes, hands still clutching the fabric of her soaked clothes.

"Did you come here in the rain?" Kenshin asked quietly.

Naruku was almost ashamed to admit it, and she wasn't sure why. Slowly, she nodded her head. And she felt she needed to explain herself. "I just…I thought you'd gone and I needed to… know."

Kenshin stepped back subconsciously, but then Naruku raised her eyes again and he was drawn inward.

Biting her bluish lip, Naruku kept her eyes trained on Kenshin as she said, "Why did you lie to me?"

She didn't sound angry, only a little exasperated. What she said was true—she just needed to know. It wouldn't change anything, it would not lessen her suffering, but she needed to know.

"Why would you say you were teaching me one thing and then…you weren't…" Naruku shook her head.

Kenshin looked thoughtful for a moment, as if trying to decide something. Naruku thought perhaps he was trying to decide whether or not to be honest. She knew what he should choose, what he had to choose if he wanted to see the other side of this.

Kenshin knew too.

"As I said before…swordsmanship is a way to kill. Hiten Mitsurugi is a killing technique, and no matter what I do and how I use it, it remains the truth," Kenshin stated, his voice nearly expressionless, flat and dull but Naruku could hear a note of remorse. "I could have killed you that day in Edo Castle, don't you remember? I almost did."

Now he looked sad and very lost. Naruku felt herself choke up—she couldn't stand to see Kenshin look like that, no matter how confused and angry he was making her. She didn't want to do the same to him. She wanted to reach out, to comfort him, but she couldn't think of a single thing to say.

"If I taught you Hiten Mitsurugi, I would have been teaching you a way to kill. I could never do that, I could never subject someone to the same thing I went through," Kenshin struggled to continue.

Naruku closed her eyes and was silent for a moment, thinking this over. Kenshin had been afraid of turning her into who he was. It was strange and ironic because since the second she had met him, Naruku had wanted to be like Kenshin. That was why she asked to learn Hiten Mitsurugi in the first place.

She opened her eyes.

"So then why pretend? Why tell me you were teaching me, when you weren't?" Naruku asked. She wanted to say why mock me, but she knew that wasn't it. He had not been mocking her or trying to humiliate her. That was not Kenshin.

Kenshin's eyes flickered for a moment before he took a breath and replied, "When you first asked me to teach you, you told me you wanted to understand Battousai. That was it. You had grown up with this vision of me, of who Battousai was, that I was a demon, that I had murdered your father. But you asked for no retribution. You asked only to understand."

Naruku's eyebrows knitted carefully and she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, but ignored it when it flopped back into her eyes.

"And now you stand before me and ask that again. You ask to understand, you say you hate not being able to…you are so different from the people of my past, who want only to be right, to have their opinion be the correct one."

"I never…" Naruku tried to get her brain and her mouth to work together, but they seemed out of sync. Naruku had never once thought about everything Kenshin was saying. She never realized that trait in her could possibly be different from other people. She never knew there were people who didn't have the insatiable hunger to know and to comprehend.

"You asked me to teach you, so you could understand me. And Naruku, I did teach you. It was not the Hiten Mitsurugi that I taught you, no. But it wasn't Hiten Mitsurugi that gave you that realization. The swordsmanship didn't help you know me, it was simply the time we spent together, learning it. I taught you the basic skills of swordsmanship, so that you could defend yourself. And you did."

"But it's not the same," Naruku uttered a few moments after Kenshin had finished. "Hiten Mitsurugi has its set of morals, and its philosophy and that is what I wanted to learn, and that's what you never—"

Kenshin shook his head. "It's not the philosophy of the sword, it is the philosophy of the swordsman."

Naruku sucked in breath and froze completely. Kenshin's words resounded loudly in her head. She started to shake, but it wasn't because of the cold.

Hiten Mitsurugi had nothing to do with it, it seemed. The morality in question was not of a sword style handed down from Kenshin, it was her own, the principles of Naruku's own heart, deep inside her being.

And it seemed they were deeply twisted and she dissolute. Despite her peace talking and her selfless wishes for harmony…there was a monster inside of her, making all of that pacifism seem fake.

Twice she had tried to kill Enizu. The first time she had stopped herself, had managed to grasp what was left of her idealism. The second time she had not. It happened so quickly, she was bleeding, and then—

Three times she had stabbed him. Three times. And she recalled his last whisper, his last shackle fastening itself around her neck. You can never escape…

What had been different the second time? Where was that line between life and death? Between who she used to be, and who she had become?

Naruku stared ahead with a hollow, morose expression. It was the kind of look that carved deeply into Kenshin's heart. She looked so much older in that one instant, and yet so small.

Her eyes were raw and bared her soul to him. And that was when Kenshin stood back and really looked at Naruku. And saw her in way he didn't think he had ever seen her before. He saw her suffering and realized she was not too far away. The aftermath of Naruku's mistake had seemed to drive them apart, like a valley neither of them could see the other side of.

But standing in the sparse, flat room and seeing Naruku in the dull lighting, Kenshin suddenly saw he could reach her, he could be there for her.

He could love her.

The moment they had shared together the morning Naruku woke up came back to Kenshin as he stepped closer to her and reached an arm around her waist.

She slowly raised her head to him and he saw the sparkle of tears in the corners of her eyes. He leaned down to her mystified face and kissed her sweetly on the lips.

Naruku's eyes fluttered closed and her hands went to Kenshin's shoulder, but before she knew what had happened, Kenshin's lips were lifting away from hers.

She exhaled in a tiny sigh, and felt almost afraid to open her eyes again. She felt if she did, the harsh light of the den would erase Kenshin and he would disappear. Everything that had just happened—whatever had just happened—would slowly ebb away from her mind.

But her lips still tingled and remembered the softness of Kenshin's. She could still feel the electricity all the way into her toes, and the warmth of his hand, still resting on the small of her back. She could taste his lips, which were almost indescribable but reminded her of sweet plums and bright green leaves on cool summer days.

She opened her eyes and looked up through her eyelashes, still dazed. Kenshin gazed down at her with a warm expression, so completely at peace and so loving that it brought color to Naruku's cheeks.

And Naruku realized that the bliss she felt at that moment did not have to be fleeting. The happiness that oozed within her like warm honey was a part of her life.

She had ended a life, that was true, but that didn't mean her life had to be ended as well. What she had done was in the past—her suffering was not over, perhaps it would never really disappear, but that was a part of life, too.

Kenshin had showed her she could correct mistakes, and leave those things in the past. In return, she vowed to teach him to press onward with life. Together they would find something worth striving for.

Kenshin's arm slid all the way around Naruku's waist as he drew himself closer, exhaling softly and leaning down so their foreheads were a breath apart.

"Just by living side-by-side with you, I've come to understand you better than I could have dreamed," Naruku whispered. She didn't know what she was saying, just that she was dizzy and flushed and her head was whirling. "Thank you for that. For giving me that chance. But it's me I don't understand."

Kenshin smiled and chuckled, letting the fingers of his other hand trace through her short hair. "That part is always the hardest."

In light of everything that had happened in the past weeks, Naruku felt strangely at peace with everything.

She realized it was her own problem she had to deal with, that Kenshin could not be her anchor anymore. She had to pull herself up, stand up on her own. And she would.

Kenshin was right—knowing herself would be the hardest lesson to learn, but she could learn it from only her own heart, no one else's. Not even the man that loved her. But that was okay. Kenshin's hand dropped from Naruku's slim waist and instead grabbed one of her cold, pink hands. She looked down at their entwined hands, wondering, but patient.

And she smiled.

Understand--end

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A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed that chapter! It really was difficult for me to write, on top of not being able to start for quite a while. The majority of the chapter, with Kenshin and Naruku's conversation, went so many ways that I'm not even sure what I ended up putting down anymore! At first I wanted the emotions to be very high and for there to be a lot of tension. I tried this several times, and after contemplating writer seppuku, I finally decided, well, maybe this scene wants to be more demure and contemplative than high-tension, rising emotions type.

I don't know. Please tell me what you think! I am flummoxed. But I do love the lyrics at the very top. Ben Lee is such a sweetheart, and using one of his songs is really perfect for a chapter like this.

Next chapter--People have news! Outa still exists! Aoshi and Kenshin are severely needing man-to-man. Most importantly, find out what the heck I am going on about! That, and possibly more in chapter six!