Chapter Five: Love

The second side to this story takes us back to right before Kagome was abducted by a mysterious culprit, when she was thinking about running home. Inuyasha spotted a Soul Collector hovering over Inuyasha Forest and ran off without a word, leaving the rest of his friends confused. He quickly caught Kikyo's scent and hurried into the trees, moving just beyond the Bone Eaters Well before finding her.

"Kikyo, what are you doing here?" Inuyasha called out to the woman across the clearing from him. Kikyo turned her attention from one of her Soul Collectors and to the confused half-demon.

"This is my home, you know." Kikyo said with a soft smile, "It is bothersome that everyone seems to have forgotten that this was where I lived, where I trained, where I was born… raised my sister."

"We haven't forgotten!" Inuyasha rejected her claims and stepped closer, "How could anyone forget?"

"Inuyasha, do you think it fair that I must sit on the outskirts of my own village, looking in like some stranger, while your friends claim my home for their own? You even live in my hut." Kikyo asked in a bittersweet tone, though her narrowed eyes showed the irritation she tried to hide.

"N-No, I-… I didn't think about it that way." Inuyasha said sadly, looking to the ground in shame.

"Then I'd appreciate it if you did not rush my way every time that I come close to my home." Kikyo turned fully to him, "It's insulting."

"Me coming to you… is insulting?" Inuyasha replied surprised at those implications. His mind went wild with other assumptions about her not wanting to be near him, though none would be confirmed.

"Why do you insist on doing it every time? Have you not realized that I am dead?" Kikyo asked.

"I know that!" Inuyasha exclaimed, "But that doesn't stop me from caring about you!"

"You cared about the old Kikyo, the living woman with flesh not made of mud and soil." Kikyo sighed and turned from him, her head slightly lowered, "Stop clinging to the past, Inuyasha. If you do, you'll never be able to look toward your future… and in the end, you'll lose that too." Kikyo began walking away, only to have her wrist grabbed and her body pulled into his arms. He closed the distance so quickly that she didn't get a chance to react to him.

"Kikyo… You can't expect me to just let you go." Inuyasha whispered softly to her, holding her tightly to him, "Our story ended before it truly began… Having you here… I can't just ignore it."

"Our story was fated as it happened, Inuyasha." Kikyo brought him into an embrace as well, pulling away as she began to speak, "Understand that you have the possibility of a-…"

The sound of a twig cracking caught both of their attention and they each looked back to see Kagome step around a tree. Kagome looked around for a moment, but froze when her gaze fell on the both of them. Kikyo quickly removed her arms from Inuyasha, but Inuyasha hesitated to follow for reasons that not one of the three understood, but soon did. Kagome stared blankly at the two of them for a moment.

"My apologies." Kagome spoke to break the silence, bowed, and turned back toward Kaede's village. She was gone a moment later, leaving Kikyo and Inuyasha standing silent in the clearing.

"Damn it…" Inuyasha sighed and turned back to Kikyo.

"It is as I said, Inuyasha. If you keep looking to the past," Kikyo said as she pointed toward herself, "You will be stuck there and end up losing your future…" Kikyo then pointed toward where Kagome once stood. Inuyasha understood what she meant in that moment. He couldn't have both and choosing Kikyo was not the smart choice. He wasn't even sure if it was the choice he wanted to make. Kagome was living. She was the here and now, the one who worked with him through everything. Every time he saw Kikyo, she was soon to walk away, vanishing into the fog. "Now, go, Inuyasha."

"Got it." Inuyasha gave Kikyo what they both assumed to be their final embrace and nodded to her before running off after Kagome. He followed her scent through the forest and caught her at the edge of one of the many farms. He hopped over her and stopped her in her tracks. She jumped, startled by his sudden appearance. He'd usually call out her name before showing himself, but that wasn't what he did this time. Inuyasha went to speak, but was taken aback by what he saw. Kagome's eyes were bloodshot red, her cheeks puffy, and streams of tears running all the way down her neck. She didn't even look like she attempted to wipe them with her sleeve like she normally did. She just let them flow…

"Kagome, are you okay?" Inuyasha asked sincerely concerned for her.

"Just go, Inuyasha. Please, just go." Kagome asked, practically pleading with him.

"No, I can't. I… Kagome, what you saw back ther-…" Inuyasha was caught off when she put a hand up. There was this long moment of silence that just carried on and on. Kagome looked almost sick, weak, as if every bit of wellness had been ripped from her body and mind in that single second.

"Inuyasha, I can't do this anymore. I can't deal with any of this. I just…" Kagome shook her head, glancing off into the night. She looked up to the stars. Normally, they'd calm her mind, but their beauty was blocked by the blurriness of more tears clouding her vision. Kagome fell to her knees and brought her hands to her face, sobbing uncontrollably into them. Inuyasha had never seen her like this. It was like she had just been broken, like what she saw back there was the final straw. It was very easy to realize that it was this moment Kikyo was warning him about. Had he lost them both now?

"Kagome, please just listen…" Inuyasha stepped up and knelt down next to her.

"No. Please, understand that I can't. I mentally cannot handle this, Inuyasha." Kagome said and shook her head and then started to yell at him, "What do I have to do? How many times must I fight, kill, get hurt, run to your side, abandon my family and everything I know… All for you. I do everything in my life based on wanting to make you happy, but… You always run off to her. WHY!?"

"Kagome, I do-…I mean, I… It's not that… Kikyo was just…" Inuyasha couldn't get the words out. He just kept seeing that destroyed look in Kagome's eyes and retreated into himself. He racked his mind to find something to say to her, to make things right and explain that they just said goodbye.

"I'm going home." Kagome said, giving up on getting an answer, "I'll be back. I always… come back, no matter what, right? So, I'm going home… again." Kagome stood up and walked passed Inuyasha, finally wiping her face with her sleeve. Inuyasha couldn't figure out what to say to stop her. It was like his fear was paralyzing him, preventing him from speaking up and telling her that it really won't happen again. He just let her walk away. If he gave her some time, let her think while she was back home, maybe he could use that time to come up with something to say to her… Then he'll say it right for once. It was unfortunate that he was unaware that Kagome would not be returning like usual.

.

.

It was pushing late into the evening before Sesshomaru woke. His eyes opened and he quickly sensed a second presence. He looked over to see Kagome laying asleep in the dirt. When he went to move, a slight resistance on his leg stopped him. He turned back to see that Kagome had been grasping at his pant leg, like a child holding onto their parent. The gesture was awkward and unwelcome. He jerked his leg away from her grasp, causing Kagome to wake as he stood from his sleeping spot. Kagome sat up and rubbed her eyes, looking up to Sesshomaru. Realizing he was okay, a smile shined on her face.

"Lord Sesshomaru…" she said with worry fading from her tone, "You're okay. Thank goodness."

"You were worried?" Sesshomaru questioned, a curious eyebrow raised.

"Of course, I was worried! You were hurt because of me…" Kagome stood up and dusted herself off a bit, "I am so sorry, Lord Sesshomaru. I promise, I won't do anything against your wishes again…" Kagome hesitated for a moment, looking to the ground, but then looking back up to him with tears in her eyes, "But why did you have to hit me? Do you know how strong you are? It felt like my neck could break!"

"I struck you because you disobeyed me. I would strike you again for leaving the castle," Sesshomaru said, turning threateningly toward her, "But I'm sure what Kitanran tried was punishment enough. As long as you've learned your lesson, you can return. If you have not, you'll fend for yourself out here."

"I've learned my lesson." Kagome nodded and bowed. He said nothing else and turned back toward the direction of his home. Without another word, the two began making their way back to the Western Castle. Kagome walked behind him a few feet, keeping quiet until it began to bother her. "What did Kitanran try to do to me?" she finally spoke up from behind him. She didn't see him stop walking and suddenly walked into a brick wall of a demon. She rubbed her nose and looked up into an annoyed looking golden eye that had a hint of curiosity in it. "Was that a bad question to ask?"

"No. It's merely intriguing." Sesshomaru turned away and began walking again, Kagome following along quickly, "He attempted to force himself on you, rape you, mate with you against your will… You can choose what you'd like to call it. What he did was disgraceful. He deserved to die."

"Did he deserve to die because of what he tried to do or because it was me that he was going to do it with?" Kagome asked sincerely, but Sesshomaru spun on his heel and glared down at her, "Was that a bad question to a-." Her words were cut off when his hand found its way around her throat. Kagome swung her legs and grabbed his wrist to try and break free from his immensely powerful grip.

"And what exactly is it that you're implying?" he asked, snarling at the offensive implications.

"I can-… too tigh-…" Kagome struggled to speak and breathe until he let go and she fell to the ground, gasping for air and holding her throat, "I only asked because I know you hate me. I can't tell whether the action was what was bad or if I am what was bad. I'm just trying to understand… Is rape normal or do you hate me so much that rape with me is what is bad? I do not want to offend you. I just want to understand what it means."

Sesshomaru was stunned by her question once he understood it. She essentially thought that he detested her enough that raping her was what the problem was, not the act itself. While rape was semi-common practice among some demon tribes, especially when taking mates, Sesshomaru had such actions completely outlawed within the Western Lands. Of course, this was a law carried over from his Father's rule, not just his own. The law was placed to prevent demons from taking human after human as their mates. Sesshomaru kept it in place for this reason as well. He was not okay with hundreds of half demons moving about throughout his lands and that law prevented that from happening.

"It is the act that is despicable." Sesshomaru said with a calmed sigh, "Whether human or demon, in the Western Lands, a woman's body is still something to be respected. Forcing a woman into mating with you is not something I will tolerate. Kitanran was going to force you to mate with him. Before you ask, a mate is someone bound to you for the rest of their life. For men, they often take multiple mates and women are bound to a single man. He was going to force that fate on you."

"Well, mates don't sound fun." Kagome said so casually that Sesshomaru was a little caught off guard.

"What?" he replied.

"Mates don't sound fun. Is that why you don't have one?" Kagome asked, the casualness of the conversation keeping Sesshomaru quiet, "I don't want one. Who would want to be bound to someone like that? What if you get bored of them or they hurt you? What if you don't love them?"

"Love rarely has anything to do with it."

"Well, then that's the problem. Love sounds beautiful." Kagome smiled, day dreaming a bit.

"You can't remember what a mate is, but you can remember love?"

"Rin taught me."

"I see… This is what you two talk about?"

"Sometimes. She mentioned a boy that might love, so I asked what it meant."

"Kohaku?"

"That's his name, yes."

Silence and a moment of blank staring from Sesshomaru was the only reply Kagome got. The demon lord made a quick spin on his heel, his long silver hair swinging with as much annoyance as he felt for the amnesia stricken human. Kagome was left confused, wondering what she said wrong. They were having a decent conversation for the first time since she woke up in her room and he just started walking off. Realizing he was leaving her behind, Kagome hurried on after him.

"Did I say something wrong?" she asked as she came up behind him. She got no reply and Sesshomaru continued walking without acknowledging her. It took them some time to get back to the castle and the entire time Kagome decided that silence was her best bet here. As they came to the castle walls, Sesshomaru and Kagome both noticed that Rin and Miss Jukudo were standing in the courtyard waiting for them to return. The moment Rin caught sight of Kagome, she got up from her place on the stone bench, losing her melancholy expression, and ran over to give Kagome a hug.

"Kagome, are you okay?" Rin asked sweetly.

"I'm fine, Rin. Thanks to Sesshomaru, of course." Kagome smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Why'd you leave the castle? It's scary when you go out alone."

"I made a big mistake. I'm sorry if I worried you, but it won't happen again."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

Sesshomaru watched this little exchange between the girls quietly. Rin was becoming fonder of Kagome by the day and he was not sure whether it was good or bad. If Kagome's memory returned, she'd likely return to her group and break the child's heart. That was a fallout he didn't feel like dealing with. He sighed as the promise was made and began walking back into the castle, passing by the two girls and Miss Jukudo, who was bowing respectfully to him. Kagome watched Sesshomaru as he passed them by, feeling guilty for the trouble she caused, but was curious when he stopped by Miss Jukudo.

"Meet me in my study after dinner. We have things to discuss."

"Yes, Milord."