Disclamer: i do not own yugioh...damn.

Authors note: this storyis dedicated for my dearfriend Elle who diedrecently. this is my way of dealing with it. writing a story about death, and the rebirth of life.i love you elle.

Chapter 2: Attempted

'...he has returned...'

Yugi read that note over and over, trying to get the thought out of his mind that the note was speaking of Atem. There was no way that Atem had returned. He was in the afterlife. He was dead, well in a sense he was. Then yugi thought on it more. Could atem be considered dead? He didn't really have a body. What happened to his body back in Egypt? Did it die when his soul was trapped in the puzzle. That would mean that Atem was dead to begin with. If that was the case it wasn't like anything could happen with Atem.

Wait?

That thought? It startled yugi so much. He had never thought it in his whole life. He never thought about it in the five years after Atem left.

"I want to be with him?"

He asked himself as he shut his eyes tightly and crumpled up the piece of paper that the Ishtars had sent him.

"It doesn't matter now. There is nothing that can be done about it now."

He muttered as he went upstairs to his room for sleep.

"Its stupid to think that Atem could come back. The only reason he came to me was to ask my help. I served my purpose. He doesn't need me anymore. I doubt he even thinks of me."

Yugi muttered to himself as he walked up the dark staircase and up to his room.

Ah the darkness.

It reminded him of Atem. Atem was his darkness and his was the light. Now without Atem with him, he felt dark himself. His loneliness was drowning him.

"Why am I here?"

He asked as he stared into the mirror. He came in to brush his teeth and wash his face, but his thoughts stopped him from doing that. He just kind of forgot about it.

"My destiny is done right? There is no need for me here. I was only born to help Atem make sure the shadow games never returned. I've done that. Couldn't I go with him?"

He looked down at his sink. Nothing special there. A razor, toothbrush, tooth paste, mouth wash, wash cloth. Normal bathroom sink things. This house felt so lonely now. He would always remember his grandfather and Atem in the house. Remembering all the times the three of them were in the house. Now those times were over, all because Atem and Grandpa died.

"Why! Why was I so easy to leave behind?"

Where did that outburst come from? Yugi opened his eyes from the sudden burst of emotion to find his hand embedded in the wall right beside the mirror he had been looking in a moment before. He looked shocked, like someone had taken over his body and did this. It couldn't have been him. He looked into the mirror and found that he was crying. He didn't remember starting. he was sad, yes, but he had not been crying. One moment he was sad, the next angry, now he was crying?

"I don't understand anything anymore."

He muttered and picked up his razor.

"So, this little piece of metal could end someone's life if used correctly? what a laugh. Who would be so stupid?"

'Don't do it.'

A voice came in his mind, but the voice wasn't his own. The voice just made his freeze. He knew it. It had been so long since it rang in his mind, but he remembered it. More tears were shed as Yugi fell to his knees, the razor falling from his hand. What had he been thinking? Killing himself? The thought had come to him before, but never once had he attempted it. He felt to chicken, to afraid, of killing himself. He didn't want to hurt anyone, but now it didn't seem like anyone would care. No one talked to him anyway. Maybe they had forgotten him. Maybe his death would remind them he was still there. The only two people that he knew cared for him had left him years ago, and now he was left alone to grief. How unfair.

'I just wanted to be with you, and you had to leave me all alone.'

He thought as he accepted the fact that he was in love with atem. Why else would he be as upset as he was over atem after five years.

In fear of trying anything more, yugi got up from the floor, leaving the razor on the floor. If he touched it he could blank out and do something he would regret. Like the wall.

"I should call someone about that tomorrow."

He muttered dully to himself. He looked down at his hand, finding blood and wood pieces in his hand. He chuckled lightly as he realized it didn't hurt. The blood tickled his hand as it fell, but no pain.

Yugi crawled into bed and softly cried himself to sleep. It wasn't like anyone would come into comfort him. It seemed that nowadays it was the only way for him to get to sleep. Sleeping pills stopped working on him. He just lay in the darkness, sleeping, and thinking about the note. It seemed that note brought up old emotions that he didn't want to uncover. Now his sorrow was back, and time did everything to make him feel worse then he had five years ago. And everyone says that time heals all things. Time made him worse, feel more alone.

As yugi cried to himself he felt something comforting touch him. It was warm and inviting. He had felt it recently, but never really thought about it. In all honesty, that feeling never really came until he was almost asleep. If he did remember it, he would think it was merely a dream and lose hope the next day.

'Aibou, never lose hope. I'm still here. I've not left you.'

Ghostly arms wrapped around the sleeping form. Yugi let out a small coo and smiled lightly. The smile was one he would only give in his sleep, seeing as it was a smile he gave when he was truly happy. And lets face it, he has not been happy since his grandfather and pharaoh left him.

'Just wait a little longer and I can hold you for real. Only a little while, yugi.'

He ghost whispered to him before he planted his lips on yugi's forehead. A small ghost of a tear fell down the apparition's cheek. He couldn't feel yugi. No matter how much he wanted to, it wouldn't happen. The ghost from yugi's past faded away just as the boy's eyes slowly opened. He thought he heard a voice, but nothing was there.

"A dream."

He whispered before he closed his eyes once more and feel back to sleep. A dream filled sleep that he would surely forget by morning.