A/N: Thanks for the feedback! In response to the concerns—no, nothing's going to happen to Steve. Meantime, Cuddy's scheme continues to unfold…..

Chapter 4

Two hours later—Cameron's apartment

After they had commandeered the laundry room downstairs, Cameron and Chase sat on her couch, wondering how this scheme was going to work out.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised but I never thought we'd be doing House's laundry for him," he theorized.

She frowned, knowing full well that she didn't want to give House any more grist for the 'wait on me' routine. "It's all part of Cuddy's master plan. Chase, we're going to be okay."

"You sure?" he asked, anticipating House's wrath upon his return.

"Stop worrying, will you?" She got up and walked over to the refrigerator. There she took out and poured two glasses of wine. "It's going to be okay."

"If you say so," he relented. "At least you're in it with me."

"All the way. House has it coming to him," she indicated while rubbing his shoulder.

He leaned over and kissed her. "Thanks, Allison."

"You're welcome, Robert," she agreed, following his lead and snuggling closer to him. "Wish we could stay like this but…."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah we need to get back to House's place. Can you get the stuff out of the dryers and we can bring it over there?"

"Sounds great." She finished her wine and then headed out the door, letting him see the sparkling in her eyes.

This might work out after all…..

House's Apartment

Even as Chase and Cameron cleaned House's laundry, Wilson and Cuddy had finished toiling in the bathroom and kitchen respectively. They had washed, scrubbed and wiped down every surface in their areas.

To a neat freak like Cuddy, the mess made her skin crawl. "How can anyone live like this?"

"Welcome to my neighborhood," he called back from the bathroom. He tossed the toilet brush in a garbage bag. "That's done and added a deodorizer in the tank for good measure."

She shook her head. "We could have found you some other place."

He shrugged. "It's not really that bad once you adjust to it. I just wish House would do some of the chores too."

"This is House we're talking about—the man with a rat in his house," she assessed.

He sighed, "Steve's actually pretty quiet and he grows on you." He walked over to the kitchen and produced some food. "Watch. Try not to be scared."

"Me? Scared of him? Perish the thought," she retorted.

He arched a brow. "Actually he's better behaved than House is. Give Steve that." He opened the cage and poured the food into the dish.

"True," she conceded. "He is cute. Does he bite?"

"Not that I know of," Wilson pointed out, lifting Steve out of his cage. "House did give him his shots. Rub the top of his head between his ears. He likes that."

She hesitantly touched Steve's head and was surprised to find that it was soft and smooth, not shaggy as she might have expected. Within a minute, she was running her fingertips gently along Steve's head, neck and back.

The "mascot" returned the gesture by rubbing up against her hand and squeaking a couple of times.

"Wow," she expressed in surprise. "Does he mind being picked up?"

"House does it."

She nodded and gently grasped her new friend's sides. "I'm not going to hurt you. Relax." She picked up Steve and held him up so that they were looking eye to eye for a second. Then she supported him also as if she were holding a baby. "You're right, Wilson. I wish House would be like this."

"Then it wouldn't be as much fun now would it?" he asked knowingly.

"Oh yeah. Like the write ups and lectures are fun." She snorted and looked at Wilson incredulously. "Give me a break."

"You love the games and you know it. But that's between us," Wilson retorted. "By the way, how did you get those Smashers tickets?"

"As I told House, I made a few phone calls," she replied. "I do know some people in Seattle."

"I'm sure…and the concert?"

"Oh that was to make sure he wouldn't try to sneak back here early," she explained, giving him a very devious grin.

Note to self—never get her truly mad at you. Wilson took Steve from her and placed him back in the cage. "That's one way of doing it."

"You mean the only way," she clarified. "He'd find some way back here."

"He still could," he pointed out.

"Only if he wants to forfeit the registration fee and those tickets. Not a chance," she declared before looking around. "I can't imagine what's in the refrigerator other than your things of course."

"He sponges off of me mostly. I cleared my stuff out this morning," he noted while opening the door.

She wrinkled her nose at a few of the containers left in the back. "Ugh! What is he doing?"

"I think he calls it a biology experiment," Wilson supposed.

"More like he's too lazy to clean it," she corrected while taking out an old container of cottage cheese and a milk container. "This is past throwing out. I'd burn it except I'd be afraid of nuclear fallout."

He chuckled. "Yeah I think the CDC would quarantine this if they knew about it."

"And Homeland Security too," she groused while handling some old veggies out of the crisper tray. "I really need to talk to him about this."

He silently noted the comment and continued on. For the past few months, he had suspected that something was going on between House and Cuddy. Her whole demeanor clearly gave him clues that indeed a relationship was going on.

When the Killing Zone had been cleared, she grabbed a bottle of spray cleaner and some paper towels. "Time to really clean this thing." After removing the trays, she started spraying and wiping down the inside of the appliance. Then she did the same for the drawers at the bottom. "There!"

"There is the freezer," he reminded her while washing one of the wire trays in the sink.

She stared with dread at the top compartment, wondering what lurked in the frozen tundra within. "Wilson, trade places."

"We aren't working right now. It's your plan," he declined. And you are his girlfriend.

"Do it and I'll forget about those extra clinic hours," she offered in desperation.

"The clinic hours are far better than what's in there," he pointed out.

"Fine." She put on a pair of rubber gloves and opened the freezer. "If I die, you get the paperwork." She closed her eyes and opened the door really quickly. She pulled out a couple of ice cream pints with Wilson's name on them as well as a frozen dinner. "Put those in the cooler." Then, as with the section below, she found some wrapped things to the back. "Those are his, I take it?"

"They are. The meat's lived there as long as I've been here." He put the ice cream and frozen dinner in the cooler.

She looked at him incredulously. "He buys meat and doesn't eat it?" She rolled her eyes. "That would mean he'd actually have to cook it. Terrific. At least it's frozen." She pulled a frozen dinner out with an expired date on it and tossed it. Then she grabbed onto one really smelly package. "Fish. Judging from the scent, it's probably ready to head back upstream to spawn." She threw that out as well. Then she frowned. "We'll get some baking soda or something for the aroma."

After setting the meat in the cooler as well, he agreed, "We'll have to let that thaw overnight. Then we can wipe that part down."

"Right," she agreed already sizing up either Cameron or Chase for that job. "Maybe we can vac the floor next?"

"I was thinking of your new organization plan. Just straightening everything would give House a heart attack in itself," he pointed out.

She nodded, smiling to herself. "True but I'm going to go one step further than that." She gave him the knowing glance. "There's another level to my plan, Wilson."

That insight terrified him. Trapped between Cuddy's inventiveness and House's retribution isn't going to be a great place to be.

"Where's your sense of adventure, James?" she asked. "It's not like we're throwing anything out. Come on." She walked into the bedroom and sighed at the mess there too. "Just as I imagined. Okay, where are you?"

"Where's what?" he asked. "Cuddy, don't! Are you doing what I think you're doing?"

"He went through my things. All's fair, right?" She dug through House's underwear drawer and found a pair of his favorite boxers. "Yeah, these will do." She shut the drawer. "Now where would he have kept those things?"

"What things? Cuddy!"

She looked under the bed and then peered under the fitted sheet on the mattress. "I thought so." She fished around under there and produced her red thong and bra. "Figures."

"Those are yours?" he inquired knowingly.

"Yes, remember when we were dealing with my handyman's TB case? House turned his investigation into a panty raid. He confiscated these from my bedroom." She arched her brow sarcastically. "Boys and their toys, right? Come on; we'll deal with this room later. I want to finish out front."

He actually slept with her underwear under the sheet? Wilson scratched his head, wondering what they were going to find next.