Title: Language
Characters: Zaraki Kenpachi, Kusajishi Yachiru, Matsumoto Rangiku
Rating: PG-13 for minor foul-mouthery
Summary: Pride is often misplaced in the Kenpachi/Kusajishi household.
AN: I can still remember the first talk i.e.: ass-whuppin' my mother gave me for cussing in front of her. Fuckin' changed my goddamn life.

"Leggo of my hair! Ya' gotta go to your meetin' now and that's all there is to it!"

"But Ken-chan, I don't wanna! It's boring and Nanao-Glasses always shushes me. She's so rude! She even took my crayons away the other day, said I needed to grow up an' pay attention!"

"Well," Kenpachi balked, pausing in his attempts to pry a resisting Yachiru from his head, "why didn't ya' fight back?"

"'Cause Abarai-chan beat me to it, the meanie. He was all like 'Blah blah blah not cool, blah blah blah don't be a bitch.' You should have seen Nanao-Glasses's face when he called her that!"

"Ya' shouldn't say that word either," Kenpachi reprimanded half-heartedly.

Honestly, he really didn't really care if she cursed or not. Kenpachi actually prided himself on her linguistic skills; so young and the girl could cuss a good four, five minutes without repeating herself. Apparently he was the only one. According to the countless letters from Soul Society's Social Services, the rest of the community seemed less than impressed by Yachiru's advanced verbosity.

They also didn't take too kindly to, in their words, "a psychopathic, murdering monster trying to raise a young, delicate flower of a girl," but it really wasn't up to Kenpachi who took care of Yachiru; if he tried to get rid of her she'd always find her way back. Despite her terrible sense of direction.

As for their interpretation of his character, Kenpachi couldn't argue. He actually took some pride in the fact that those pansy-assed, worker-drone wimps trembled when attempting to write their letters of complaints to the fearsome Kenpachi Zaraki. He could tell from the way the writing shook and shivered all over the page that even indirect contact scared the shit out of them. A pack of nosy idiots, the whole lot of them, but at least they knew their place somewhat. Still, thinking that Yachiru was a pretty little flower?

Yeah right.

More like poison ivy, the way she could make you itch and twitch and ooze.

"Why can't I say 'bitch,' Ken-chan? You say it all the time," the toxic vine argued.

The argument had grown stale and Kenpachi wanted her to just shut up; they were right in front of the meeting hall and the other fukutaichous had begun to drift in for their weekly meeting. Yachiru's loud defiance made him look bad in front of the other officers.

Not like he cared, or anything. It was just that if people knew he couldn't keep a little girl in line, how the hell could he expect anyone to respect his authority?

"It ain't nice to womenfolk," he floundered, trying to explain to her just why "bitch" was a bad word, a fuzzy topic to him as it were, "or menfolk when you're sayin' they're acting all woman-like. You can use it when you're talkin' about a girl-dog though, that's alright; it ain't like they're gonna be offended."

Yachiru thought it over, her head tilted to the side and her tiny brows trying to knit together. Kenpachi took advantage of the unresisting silence and pulled her off his shoulders, his big hand holding on to the nape of her uniform like an aforementioned bitch carrying her pup, minus the teeth. Searching frantically for an easy mark, Kenpachi whipped his massive head around, not listening to a word Yachiru was babbling.

Aha! Open arms at two o'clock.

Matsumoto-fukutaichou suddenly found herself with an armful of Kusajishi-fukutaichou and a view of Kenpachi-taichou's retreating back; although unusual, it didn't disturb her too much to carry the Eleventh division's fukutaichou into the meeting. These things happened when the Soul Society big-wigs named Kenpachi-taichou's demon pseudo-spawn his second in command. Hefting the girl's weight onto her hip, they entered the hall.

"Hey Big Boobies," the girl asked, turning her wide eyes up to look directly at the woman with purest expression of childlike innocence, "do you know why I can't say 'bitch?' Ken-chan's answer didn't make no sense."

"Didn't make any sense, honey," the other vice-captain corrected, avoiding the question.

"But why?" Yachiru persisted.

"Mark that down as 'because Ken-chan told you so' and leave it at that."

"That's the fuckin' shittiest reason ever," the girl pouted.

"That it is," Matsumoto laughed. "That it is."

-fin-