Title: Lessons
Rating: PG-7 Err... One or two cuss words and mentions of animal cruelty, but not really.
Characters: Zaraki Kenpachi, Kusajishi Yachiru, Yumichika Ayasegawa, Madarame Ikkaku
Summary: Yachiru's one smart cookie
AN: It's a pre-shinigami tale with no major spoilers, just that Kenpachi kicked Ikkaku's ass back in the day, while Yumichika and Yachiru watched on Ch. 206 of the manga. Whether or not the boys followed along after the beating is totally my own supposition about the situation.

"So Yachiru, what's something... green?"

"Grass!"

"And something... blue?"

"Th' sky!"

The sweltering summer heat pressed down on Kenpachi as he plodded along the dirt road, it's surface dry from the drought and sticking to his sweat-slick face with every heavy step. Yachiru's hot weight on his shoulders didn't help, but if he was going to worry about a little stink then he might as well cut his belly right then an there. At least he had Yumichika to keep her distracted, so she didn't complain too much.

"Name something pink, runt," Ikkaku threw in, obviously more interested in the lesson than he pretended to be.

"Easy," the girl squeal, pointing to her head, "m' hair!"

"And something black?" Yumichika asked this time.

"Ken-chan's hair!" Yachiru laughed, tugging on the limp mess in front of her. Kenpachi growled and swatted at her half-heartedly, ignoring her giggles as she dodged easily. The lesson continued on, heedless of the interruption.

"What is something yellow?"

"Th' sun!"

Having those two twits follow them around ended up being worthwhile, after all. He couldn't stand Ikkaku or Yumichika in the least when they first started trailing after them, especially after the bald bastard's wimpy pleas to end his life, not taking his beating like a man and all. To top it off, the guy had some pretty, little bitch-boy following him like a lost puppy dog or something.

Disgraceful.

At least Puppy-Boy was bright; he seemed to take Yachiru's education upon himself, which was a good thing, considering Kenpachi's own limited intelligence. They were also good at getting money, food, lodging, alcohol, whatever the group needed as they wandered around; the two extra mouths could feed themselves, thank the gods. The brat liked those two, too, so it wasn't a complete waste.

That whole head-gnawing thing that Yachiru and Ikkaku got into from time to time i was /i pretty entertaining, as well.

"And something white?"

"A bunny!"

Kenpachi wondered if she thought of the rabbit they caught the other week when she answered that question. It didn't stay white for long, not without it's fur. A necessary skinning, of course; you can't eat the critter with it's clothes on, now could you?

"An' somethin' red?"

"Bunny insides!"

Yup, she did. Kenpachi couldn't help but chuckle, a low rumble that made his shoulders and his parasite-girl riding them shake along with his mirth.

"Why's Ken-chan laughing?" Yachiru asked, her face popping upside-down in front of his.

"Nothing," he grinned, all sharp teeth and pride in his... whatever the hell the girl was to him, "jus' thinkin' about how smart you're gettin'."

"Wah! Ken-chan thinks I'm smart! Wah!"

The girl squeezed him tight around the neck and slid back to her safe place between his shoulder blades, excitedly pointing out to the other two how proud her Ken-chan was of her. Yumichika laughed while Ikkaku grumbled something about having heard the bastard himself as they walked on along their way.

Oddly content with the lively conversation buzzing around him, despite how quiet his life had been outside of battle before the hanger-ons appeared, Kenpachi settled into an easier pace. They'd get to the next village soon enough and he didn't want to wear out the twits. If they got too tired, they'd stop talking, and then he'd have to entertain the brat himself. That just wouldn't do at all.

The girl needed all the educating she could get, if she was going to be strong enough to make in this afterlife.

And she sure as hell wasn't getting any book-smarts from him.

-fin-