Title: The Long and Short of It
Rating: G to R For Cussing and Adult Situations
Warnings: Smatterings of AUness, OOCness, silliness, fluff, grammar and semi-colon abuse, vague references to the current manga arc (Ch. 200 +), fowl language, and the sweet lovin'.
Characters: Hitsugaya Toushirou x Matsumoto Rangiku
Summary: 50 One-Liners about Hitsugaya Toushirou and Matsumoto Rangiku
AN: Coherency? We don't need no stinking coherency! Just random HitsuMatsu one-line-luv-luv times 50. Not exactly a drabble, I know, but please forgive me.

#01 - Walking
It took him some time, but Hitsugaya finally managed to master walking at a normal, sedate pace while Matsumoto found new and interesting ways to subtly violate his body.

#02 - Waltz
"I think waltzing will have to wait till you've grown into yourself a little more," Rangiku sighed, tenderly massaging her bruised toes while Toushirou silently apologized for his painful avoidance tactic.

#03 - Wishes
When Rangiku expressed her desire to take her captain out for multiple, heavily-intoxicating drinks, he responded in a less-than-mature fashion, spitting out a particularly crude phrase about wishing in one hand and shitting in the other; sighing, Ragiku returned to her paperwork, a week late and no where near finished.

#04 - Wonder
"With a costume like that," Matsumoto pointed out to a less-than-interested Hitsugaya, referring to some of Orihime's old American comics, "what's left to wonder about?"

#05 - Worry
Toushirou worries that one of these's days Rangiku will bean herself with her own breasts if she doesn't slow down a bit; considering how amazing it feels when she takes him hard and fast, riding oh-so-high above him and moaning his name, Toushirou has no intentions of ever sharing this particular concern.

#06 - Whimsy
Matsumoto's sense of whimsy eagerly sought out trouble, and Hitsugaya knew, inevitably, he'd be dragged along to wherever it wished to strike next.

#07 - Waste/Wasteland
"I don't get it," Rangiku whined at the book, her complaints loud enough to wake her sleeping bedfellow; Toushirou snorted and rolled over, regretting ever recommending T.S. Eliot to the woman.

#08 - Whiskey and rum
He was cheap whiskey: harsh and growling yet warm and heady all the way down her throat; she, on the other hand, was fine rum: a liquor meant for colorful drinks with little umbrellas resting on their lips, deceptive delights that helped inebriation catch him unawares.

#09 - War
"I still don't see how you won," Hitsugaya grumbled as Matsumoto shuffled the deck for another round, humming to herself in a satisfied sort of way.

#10 - Wedding
It was the third wedding they attended that month the seventh that year and it was only May when the moment Rangiku feared and desired most finally arrived: while watching Ichigo and Orihime enjoy their first dance together Toushirou poked her arm to get her attention, leaned in close, and asked in hushed tones why the hell hadn't they gotten married yet.

#11 - Birthday
Even after she explained to Hitsugaya about a dead American actress and her dead presidential lover, he couldn't help but point out that the song "Happy Birthday Mr. Taichou" was both superfluous and grammatically implausible; such inane snarkiness proved that Hitsugaya, like usual, missed the whole point of his vice-captain dressing up all sexy-like and giving him a lap song-and-dance on his special day.

#12 - Blessing
A blessing from the heavens arrived at long last: Hitsugaya finally grew a good foot or so, closing the gap between their lips.

#13 - Bias
Trying to reason with Matsumoto when she made up her mind was like trying to sew a bias-cut garment; at least, it would be if Hitsugaya knew a damn thing about sewing.

#14 - Burning
The first night after they moved in together, Toushirou learned that not even Rangiku burning their dinner and some of his hair could stop him from taking her, right there on the kitchen floor, while they waited for a new meal to be delivered.

#15 - Breathing
Rangiku had all but forgotten what breathing felt like until the first time she and Toushirou came, her release following his all slick and sweet and wow; she remembered then, inhaling all of Toushirou she could draw and holding him in until she thought she would burst.

#16 - Breaking
A loud crack and a painful tumble to the ground proved that the heavy desk in Hitsugaya's office wasn't above breaking, especially in the face of rather vigorous 10th Division captain-sex.

#17 - Belief
Although Hitsugaya rarely doubted himself or his abilities, he couldn't how much stronger he felt when Matsumoto voice her belief in him through her words, her actions, her pride, and her love.

#18 - Balloon
The first but sadly not the last time Hitsugaya had an excessive amount of liquor resulted in a terrible impersonation of his vice captain that involved the division mop, two over-inflated party decorations, and three weeks sleeping on the couch.

#19 - Balcony
Rangiku elbowed her captain hard in the ribs, waking him from his impromptu nap; when he loudly insisted upon a reason for her violence, earning a few rude shhs from the other theater-goers, she informed him his snoring was ruining the infamous balcony scene.

#20 - Bane
How could one set of breasts be both the bane and the betterment of his existence?

#21 - Quiet
It surprised him to find out how quiet Rangiku was in bed, and just how much he wasn't.

#22 - Quirks
They each had their quirks - Rangiku always said the same toast before the first, third, and fifth drink of the evening and Toushirou refused to pick up any coin that faced tail's-up.

#23 - Question
Some of Rangiku's questions were easy for Toushirou to answer, like does this show too much cleavage or do you want to stay over tonight (the answer tended to be yes;) others, like do you love me or will you marry me, he felt were such no-brainers that Rangiku didn't even need to ask.

#24 - Quarrel
Hitsugaya loved Matsumoto's unorthodox method of ending quarrels and waited eagerly for the moment when she would lose her patience, grab him by the hair, and bury his face between her breasts; in fact, Hitsugaya sometimes instigated petty arguments just for the sessation smother, as well as the terrific make-up sex that usually followed.

#25 - Quitting
When Matsumoto insisted that she would go dry for a month Hitsugaya supported her whole-heartedly, if only for their paperwork's sake; a frisky drunk, Matsumoto made it impossible for him to finish anything when she partook of the sake and snogging during work hours.

#26 - Jump
Hitsugaya hated horror films as much as Matsumoto loved them, but who could blame her for enjoying a lapful of frightened taichou?

#27 - Jester
It stuck with him for over a week, an odd dream about Matsumoto dressed as a sexy jester and telling dirty jokes, before Hitsugaya gave in and went in search of such an outfit, proclaiming that the woman would just have to deal with his kinks.

#28 - Jousting
"What is this ridiculous sport," Hitsugaya shouted to Matsumoto over the audience's cheers, "and who the hell decided we should eat at 'Yea Olde Medieval Times?'"

#29 - Jewel
When it came time to pick out the ring, Rangiku insisted that he get her the biggest, shiniest, most expensive diamond Toushirou could find; the elegant, delicately-etched, and rather jewel-less piece he ended up giving her was exactly what Rangiku wanted, given that she knew exactly how to work her man.

#30 - Just
All the office-snogging and late-night rendevous just weren't enough for the pair, so three months after becoming "intimate" Hitsugaya insisted that it would be much more efficient and convenient if Matsumoto just moved in with him; Matsumoto couldn't agree more.

#31 - Smirk
Rangiku took pride in the fact that she, and only she, knew the taste if Toushirou's smirk.

#32 - Sorrow
When Hinamori tried to kill him, he forgave his old friend easily, but when Gin graced Matsumoto with her sorrows, Hitsugaya could only swear revenge.

#33 - Stupidity
Despite Matsumoto's almost disturbing infatuation with the game, Hitsugaya found "Katamari Damacy" to be the poster child for stupidity.

#34 - Serenade
Evening in their division meant Hitsugaya sitting quietly outside the bath, waiting for his turn and listening while Matsumoto sang softly to herself, accompanied by the gentle lapping of water against the walls of the tub and the buzz-hum of cicadas lingering outside the open windows.

#35 - Sarcasm
Yes, Hitsugaya had the snark, but he could never match the genius that was Matsumoto's sarcasm.

#36 - Sordid
When the news of their affair came out, Yamamoto-taichou had quite a few words for the two Tenth Division heads, including "sordid," "dishonorable," "unprofessional," and "damn, I lost a hundred betting against you two."

#37 - Soliloquy
Never one to speak his mind ever, Hitsugaya lost his self-editing abilities when alcohol entered the picture and tended to spout elegantly-worded soliloquies, regardless of who was or was not listening; this lapse in censure led to him finally confess his undying devotion to Matsumoto as well as his secret worship of her finer assets.

#38 - Sojourn
They knew their return to the Soul Society and their official roles would come soon enough, forcing themselves to forget these quiet kisses and gentle touches in the dark of Inoue's apartment, but until then they took complete advantage of every extra day they lingered in the living world.

#39 - Share
Two weeks into their relationship Hitsugaya discovered he was, in fact, the jealous type, and that he strongly disliked the fact that no matter how close they were, he could never know Matsumoto quite like Haineko did.

#40 - Solitary
The secret of how long Hitsugaya spent every morning doing his hair, trying to get that single, solitary hunk of bangs to fall just so, ended up being worth a week of nag-free naps during work hours to Matsumoto.

#41 - Nowhere
They were getting absolutely nowhere until one day Rangiku brought home a kissing stool to help bridge the good-bye kiss-gap in the mornings.

#42 - Neutral
"What's wrong with putting peanut butter, nature's most perfect neutral flavor, on my tuna sandwich?" Rangiku asked in response to Toushirou's look of sheer disgust/horror.

#43 - Nuance
It didn't take a trained eye to notice the nuances, the little hints that the Tenth Division captains dropped, proving their devotion to each other; it did, on the other hand, take some skill and an ear for the right kind of gossip to realize they were attempting to screw each other into the next-next life and, by all accurate accounts, making quite a bit of headway towards this goal.

#44 - Near
The particular smell of Rangiku's perfume, delicate and only noticed when she stood particularly close to him, helped among other reasons give rise to Toushirou's desire to keep her near.

#45 - Natural
Whenever Hitsugaya over-heard his division members discussing the authenticity of Matsumoto's assets he smirked and kept his opinion to himself, proud that he and only he knew his woman was a complete natural.

#46 - Horizon
New Year's morning they sat side-by-side, barely touching while their selfish arms wrapped only around themselves and a heavy silence hung around so thick it hid the twin wishes they sent towards the horizon and the rising sun.

#47 - Valiant
Rangiku had a ritual on Sunday mornings: wake up Toushirou with lazy-weekend sleep-in sex, lie in bed a bit longer, finally rise and share a shower with him, have slightly-more-energetic shower-time sex, take a light brunch naked in the kitchen, and wait eagerly for Toushirou to finish with the funny papers and the week's new installment of "Prince Valiant."

#48 - Virtuous
In the dictionary one can find Hitsugaya's picture under the word "virtuous" and Matsumoto under it's antonym; that juxtaposition, perhaps, defines their relationship better than any words or phrases ever could.

#49 - Victory
Hitsugaya hated coming home wounded and saw every injury as a loss; to Matsumoto, any day he came home alive was a victory for certain.

#50 - Defeat
Toushirou hated to admit defeat but after twenty straight loses it was obvious that "War," especially when played against Rangiku, wasn't his game; actual battle, on the other hand, he could handle easy-peasy, no sweat.

-fin-