Disclaimer: Me no own. You no sue.

"Never say die. That's our motto." "Is it?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

B Okay, new artistic vision: just go with me on this, kay? Names will be changed...lyrics edited a titch...muahaha/B

"Have you taken your meds today?" Todd asked. The Authoress glared at him. "Meep."

"New song, people!" Jamie yelled into a bullhorn. "Quiet on the set!"

"Do I have to do this?" Magneto asked, grimacing.

B YES. /B

"Kurt's mother, she was quite my favorite wife I never really loved another all my life And Kurt was my joy because He reminded me of her..."

"Yech," the boys spat in unison, looking disgusted.

"IThrough young Kurt, Magsy lived his youth again

Loved him, praised him, gave him all he could, but then

It made the rest feel second best And even if they were.../I"

"IBeing told were also-rans Does not make us Kurt fans /I" The boys sang, looking menacingly at Kurt

"IBut where they have really missed the boat is /I"

"I We're great guys but no-one seems to notice

Kurt's charm and winning smiles

Fail to slay us in the aisles /I" Remy rolled his eyes and Pietro gave Kurt bunny ears.

"IAnd their father couldn't see the danger

He could not imagine any danger/I

Magsy really is dim, isn't he?" Callisto winked.

"IHe just saw in Kurt all his dreams come true

Jacob wanted to show the world he loved his son

To make it clear that Kurt was the special one

So Magsy bought his son a coat

A multi-colored coat to wear.../I"

With a "Yaah!" Kurt is yanked up into the ceiling and then dropped down, in what appears to be a sparkly, tie-dyed duster.

"With silk lining!" Tabby pointed out.

"IKurt's coat was elegant, the cut was fine

The tasteful style was the ultimate in good design

And this is why it caught the eye

A king would stop and stare. /I"

Amara, the closest thing we have to royalty on the set, walks up to Kurt and admires the duster before sauntering off.

"IWhen I got to try it on I knew my sheepskin days were gone../I" Kurt crooned.

"ISuch a dazzling coat of many colors/I" Callisto agreed.

"IHow he loved his coat of many colors

In a class above the rest

It even went well with his vest /I" The boys droned, looking jealously at Kurt.

Kurt showed off his gold silk vest, grinning. "I look stylish!"

"ISuch a stunning coat of many colors

How he loved his coat of many colors

It was red and yellow and green and brown and blue.../I" Callisto moved closer to the guys. "IJoseph's brothers weren't too pleased with what they saw /I"

"IWe had never liked him all that much before

And now this coat

Has got our goat

We feel life is unfair.../I"

"There just ain't no justice!" Lance shouted.

Callisto kicked Lance in the shin. "IAnd when Joseph graced the scene

His brothers turned a shade of green

His astounding clothing took the biscuit/I Took the biscut? What was Andrew on when he wrote this?"

B Your guess is as good as mine. CONTINUE/B

"IQuite the smoothest person in the district/I" The guys intoned, making faces behind Kurt's back.

"II look handsome, I look smart

I am a walking work of art

Such a dazzling coat of many colors

How I love my coat of many colors /I"

"Yeah, yeah, fuzzy, we get it," Ray grumbled.

Everybody took a deep breath and started to sing.

"IIt was red and yellow and green and brown

And scarlet and black and ochre and peach

And ruby and olive and violet and fawn

And lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve

And cream and crimson and silver and rose

And azure and lemon and russet and grey

And purple and white and pink and orange

And red and yellow and green and brown and blue/I"

Ray passed out from singing so much, so fast, so loud.

"Er...medic?" Kurt asked, backing away.