Chapter 18

After she visited the hospital wing and assured herself that Harry was going to be alright- he was more upset about his stupid broom than anything else, which she decided was a good indication that there was no lasting damage - she got herself some lunch and then headed up to her dorm. She gathered a plethora of books and, even though she felt slightly pathetic about it, also stuffed Duke into her bag. Then she made her way to their room in the library.

She was pleasantly surprised to find two beings already inside. Crookshanks was stretched lazily on his back on the rug in front of the fire, while Nox had situated herself along the back of the sofa, she twitched her tail in greeting. Hermione had long ago stopped questioning how animals could access areas of the castle that normally required passwords. She went and picked Crookshanks up, cradling him in her arms. He purred appreciatively, and then she made her way over to Nox and ran a loving hand down her back. She plopped herself into an armchair with Crookshanks on her lap and determined to wait Draco out. He couldn't ignore her forever, could he? He wasn't that angry, was he?

She had spent more than an hour the night before trying to reach him on his mirror until finally deciding to leave him alone so that he could rest up for the match. When he'd sat with his back to her at breakfast she'd made an involuntary noise of distress in the back of her throat that had Neville sticking to her like glue for the rest of the morning, convinced she was ill. Good friend that he was, he was difficult to get rid of, especially in the wake of the dementors' appearance at the match. Thankfully, he was also a sensitive soul who understood when she hinted that she prefered to deal with the effect the odious creatures had on her on her own.

She limited herself to only trying to contact Draco on his mirror once per hour. He had never ignored her like this before and she didn't know how to feel about it. Anger, annoyance, crushing grief were all prevalent; it was a rollercoaster of emotions she wasn't enjoying and she changed her mind one moment to the next as to how she would receive him when he finally deigned to speak to her. She understood that he had gotten his feelings hurt but this seemed like excessive punishment, it had been a long time since she'd been the target of his cruelty and she didn't like this reminder of his mean side.

When he finally appeared, well after dinner (which she'd skipped) was over she was about ready to snap and torn as to how to respond to him. She was so relieved that he was finally here, so happy to be able to confirm that he was okay. But she was also so angry with him. When he turned his head to look at her she was filled with such fury that she utterly lost control.

She stood up, dumping Crookshanks off of her lap and breathed in deeply through her nose.

"You stupid boy!" she shrieked, striding towards him, she felt her magic coil but she thought nothing of it, "I was so worried!"

He frowned, "worried? What could you possibly have to worry about?"

Once, when she was four years old, her parents had taken her favorite toy from her as punishment and she'd blown out the windows of their front room. That was the only time she'd felt such palpable anger. Her magic struck automatically.

She was about six feet in front of him when he was suddenly thrown back, and landed on his bum. The look of shock on his face would have been comical if she hadn't been so horrified. She choked on a sob and rushed towards him.

"Are you okay?" she asked frantically, he was sprawled out on his back, he sat up leaning on his elbows, she straddled his waist as she ran her hands over his body, checking him for injuries. "Merlin, Draco I didn't mean to hurt you!" she was absolutely horrified with herself. She knew better than to allow her magic loose like that.

"I'm okay," he assured her, "you caught me."

"I threw you across the room." She choked on the words and absentmindedly wiped away the tears streaming down her face, he reached up with one hand and cupped her jaw.

"Hermione, I'm very familiar with your magic, I can feel it as easily as my own. You did throw me across the room, but you also caught me, it didn't hurt. Wanted to get my attention then, huh?" He questioned with a teasing little smirk, "you really didn't have to create such an elaborate ruse to feel me up though," he leered.

She realized then the position they were in; she was sitting on his abdomen in a very suggestive manner and had been touching him everywhere she could reach with no consideration for propriety. She pushed herself up and off of him. He just continued to gaze at her from the floor, he didn't even attempt to disguise the way his eyes were perusing her body. And then her temper flared again.

"How can you be thinking of that at a time like this?!"

He rolled his eyes. "I'm thirteen, I'm always thinking about that," he responded with a shrug, "and what do you mean, 'a time like this?'"

"I was so worried. I didn't know if you'd gotten back to your dorm safely last night until you came to breakfast this morning, and then you wouldn't even look at me. And then there were dementors at your quidditch match! For Godric's sake Draco, you could have at least answered your mirror to let me know that you were okay, it would have only taken a minute, was it really necessary to just shut me out? I mean Harry almost died!"

His expression immediately soured and he jumped to his feet and took a couple of strides forward until he was looming over her. She resented his attempt to intimidate her, but there was no way she was going to back down. She lifted her chin defiantly.

"So we're back to Potter, are we?" He hissed, "you know I was in that match too."

"That's my point!" She went up on her toes to scream right into his face, pointing at him accusingly, "you were also a hundred feet in the air! You could have fallen too! And I couldn't even check on you because you got your feelings hurt, because you couldn't even be bothered to answer your stupid mirror! 'Hello Hermione, I'm fine. Talk later,'" she mimicked him, "how long did that take? That's all you had to do, how would you have felt if you were me? I know you can be selfish, Draco, but this really takes the cake!"

He rocked back on his heels and his face went slack, "I didn't think of it like that. I left my mirror in my bedside table and I haven't been back to the dorm because I was with my parents, I just, I didn't think," he repeated.

"How self-centered can you be? I'm guessing the reason it was in your bedside table is because you were throwing a tantrum and avoiding me last night?" she huffed, "and it must have been lovely to see your parents, how are they?" she mocked, "I was hoping to see them myself today, could you at least be bothered to tell them 'hello' from me?" she snorted derisively, "must be really nice to have your parents come to Hogwarts at all, I wouldn't know how that feels," she finished bitterly.

Even as she spoke she knew that she was taking things out on him that were beyond his control, but he was usually her haven from the injustices of their world and he'd failed her today. She didn't like how easily one day without him had her coming unglued.

He opened his mouth, closed it again, then reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a folded piece of parchment. He handed it to her and she immediately recognized the script spelling out her name on the outside. She opened and read it.

Dearest,

Please hear him out. If it's any consolation, he's a mess. Also, I do not presume to insert myself into this quarrel any further, but I think there has been a misunderstanding here about the nature of your relationship with Mr. Potter that needs to be talked through. Try to remember that you love each other.

I do apologize that we were not able to see you whilst we were here, but the day became much more hectic than we had ever anticipated. You looked beautiful in your new cloak, that color blue really suits you. Please write soon, I am always here for you.

Love Always,

Narcissa

P.S. Lucius sends his love.

She sighed and walked over to the sofa, plopping herself onto a cushion. It wasn't a surprise, but she was still uncertain how she felt about the fact that Draco had told his parents- or at least his mother- about their fight. It was embarrassing. But at least Narcissa hadn't simply taken Draco's side.

"You told your mum," she said, a little petulantly.

He sat down carefully beside her, leaving several feet of space between them. "You know how she is, Hermione, there was no keeping it from her."

"And she doesn't think I'm a huge bitch?"

He snorted, "my mother, seriously? Of course not." He frowned, "why? Do you think you're a huge bitch?"

She huffed in frustration. She had been working hard to maintain her anger with him, but there was a part of her that felt this whole thing was her fault. Narcissa's words addressing a possible misunderstanding about the nature of her relationship with Harry just added to that guilt. "I don't know, I'm confused."

"About what?" he ventured, settling himself more comfortably in his seat.

"I knew that you were...jealous of Harry. But I also thought that it was silly and I didn't want to fight, so I just ignored it. But then you got so mad, and at the drop of a hat. I think you overreacted, but I also think it was wrong of me to ignore something I thought was bothering you."

He seemed to consider this, fidgeting uncharacteristically as he did so. She nearly reached over and stopped him from running his hands down his thighs yet again.

"How would you feel if I was friends with a girl the way you are with Potter, or Longbottom or Weasley for that matter?" he asked suddenly.

"Pansy Parkinson is always hanging all over you," she responded automatically.

"But you know I don't like her, I don't have any respect for her and I avoid her as much as I can."

"She still thinks she has a chance with you," she countered.

He sighed and turned his body to face her more fully. "Well it's not my fault she's delusional, Hermione. She doesn't have a chance and I thought you knew that. If it makes you feel better I told her there's a witch in France whom I've started courting. I made it clear that I was serious in my suit and that we were working towards a betrothal. If she has any respect she'll back off, I don't know if she will, but that's the best I could do."

She reeled back in shock, in the pureblood world what he'd said to Pansy was a very serious declaration. "You made up a girlfriend to get Parkinson off your back?"

He looked at her for a long time. "Well, it was my impression that I actually had a girlfriend, I had to fudge the details, of course, but I thought you would understand that."

She swallowed. "And is that how you feel about me? I mean you're that serious?"

He sighed in obvious exasperation. "Witch, you're my best friend, you know things about me nobody else knows, even my own mother who is practically omniscient when it comes to me. You practically live at my house over the holidays. And I know you're clever enough to realize that my parents have been training you to be the next Lady Malfoy since the summer after our first year. If I wasn't serious I never would have even approached anything more than friendship, it would have been far too risky."

She suddenly felt very young and stupid; she was used to feeling somewhat superior in maturity compared to Draco even though he was, honestly, far more mature than most boys their age. She looked down at her feet. "I guess you weren't the only one feeling jealous and insecure," she admitted very quietly.

He leaned over and bumped their shoulders together, "I kind of like it on you," he confided in a low voice.

She looked over to see that he was grinning at her and her own face erupted into a relieved smile. She fell into him, curling herself into his side. "Why does Harry bother you though? You don't seem to care about Neville or Ron."

He put his arm around her. "It would be a very cold day in muggle hell before either Longbottom or Weasley were any competition," the sneering tone of his voice a bitter contrast to his gentle actions, "Potter might be rather clueless but he's from an ancient House and he's not a terrible wizard when he puts his mind to it. Plus, I don't know, you just seem to dote on him like you don't the others."

Hermione resisted the urge to defend her friends, anything she said at the moment would just set him more against them. "There's no competition, Draco. And it's just a coincidence that he's a wizard. The way I feel for him, I expect it's a lot like the way that Claire feels about you."

She watched him digest this information, saw the moment that it began to make sense to him.

"I still feel like he takes advantage of you. Weasley too, but you don't put up with it as much when it comes to him."

She considered how to explain this to him, and she had to admit to herself that she let Harry get away with things she never would allow Draco to, or anybody else for that matter. And she had to consider why that was. It certainly wasn't that she cared more for Harry than she did for Draco. There really was no competition. But Harry needed her in ways that Draco didn't, and never would. And that was the heart of the matter.

"Do you know what I was doing in Flourish and Blotts the day I ran into you and met your mother?"

He shook his head.

"I was looking for books on wizarding etiquette and politics, and anything else that might be useful in trying to get by in this new world I'd just entered. They don't teach any of that here, and it was already really clear to me that my muggle background made me stick out. I suppose I would have found a way to muddle by on my own, but your mother, your family saved me from that."

He frowned, seeming to consider this and drew her closer to his body.

"Harry doesn't have a Narcissa Malfoy. Harry doesn't have anybody. There's not a single adult in his life that he can go to and confide in. He has no way to learn about his background or his future responsibilities. And it's sad, he deserves better than that. I think his fame is disgusting, but the fact is that this world owes his family a huge debt, they've had twelve years of peace because of the Potter's sacrifice, and how have they repaid them? By keeping their son on the outside. So, I just feel like if I can be even a little bit for him like your family has been for me, well that's the least I can do. And I'm sorry if it made you feel like I was putting him above your safety when I asked you to help me talk your parents into letting Lupin keep his job, but I swear that never occured to me. It just seemed like a small favor for a friend who was in dire need of it," she shrugged helplessly, it sounded a little pathetic when she said it out loud, but she felt so protective of Harry and she wanted to help, but never at the expense of Draco's safety, or even his feelings.

They were quiet for awhile, she wanted to give him time to actually absorb her words and not pile on what she'd already said.

"Okay," he finally said.

"Okay?"

He nodded, "that actually makes a lot of sense, it's sad actually," he looked at her and smirked, "congratulations you've made me feel sorry for Potter."

"So, we're okay?"

"We're okay," he confirmed with a nod and a squeeze of her shoulders.

"May I ask what happened with Lupin? And please tell me your parents finally got rid of the Dementors?"

"The Dementors are gone. The Board was furious, don't ask me why they didn't feel that way after what happened on the train, but I'm guessing the fact that Black has been in the castle went a long way to convincing them that the dementors weren't doing their job in the first place. Idiots," he murmured, she couldn't disagree. "Lupin's gone too," he said more gently, "even if you'd convinced me to try and talk my parents out of it, it wouldn't have helped. The first thing Father did when I told him about your suspicions was go find Professor Snape to get confirmation. Not only did he confirm that Lupin was a werewolf, but he told Father that when they were all in school together that apparently Lupin was good friends with Sirius Black."

Hermione gasped, "I should have realized, I knew Lupin and Black were both friends with the Potters, of course they at least knew each other."

"Not just that, Black knew Lupin was a werewolf, and he knew where he went to transform every month. I guess Black and Snape didn't get along and so he set him up to come face to face with Lupin on the full moon. He barely escaped with his life."

"That's terrible! Your mother said that Sirius was capable of great violence, and I guess so, I mean he killed thirteen people, but who would do that to a classmate? Was Lupin in on it?"

He shrugged, "I don't know, does it matter? That just shows how dangerous it is to have a werewolf around a school full of unsuspecting children. Especially with Black on the loose, I mean he knows Lupin's secret, he could find a way to use that. I'm not sure I've ever seen father quite so angry."

She was quiet for a long time. "You know I never had to deal with these things in my muggle school."

His body stiffened against hers. "Do you wish you could go back?"

"Never," she said immediately, fervently.

He relaxed. She bit her lip and reached over to snag Duke out of the armchair where she'd dumped him when Draco had come in, and pushed him into Draco's arms. He cocked one eyebrow in question.

"Would you just put him inside your robes and sit here with me?" she ordered.

He was unintimidated. "Inside my robes?"

She felt herself go beet red but knew that she'd never escape this conversation without explaining herself, and that it would only be worse if she dragged it out. "He's losing his smell," she confessed.

"His smell," he said, his face a picture of innocence, but she knew he was beginning to understand. The smug bastard was simply going to force her to explain.

"Yes! He smells like you, okay? But he's losing it because he sleeps with me, and I really wanted him to smell like you today! So, just put him in your robes, he'll get the smell back quicker like that." She stared at him daringly, he grinned but didn't say anything and opened his weekend robes, putting the stuffed toy inside between them and his shirt.

He graciously didn't taunt her, just cleared his throat. "Actually, I have something for you."

"For me?"

He nodded and pulled something out of his pocket, clutching it tightly. He carefully opened his fingers but kept the object caught between his thumb and forefinger. She gasped. It was a snitch, undoubtedly the one he'd caught at the game earlier, but she'd never seen one up close. It was a miniature work of art.

"I didn't expect them to be so beautiful," she said with wonder, eyeing the gold filigree body.

He chuckled, "not sure I've ever heard somebody describe a snitch like that, but I'm glad you think so. I know you're not crazy about quidditch, but like I said, this is for you."

"Me?" she asked again. "And I like watching you play quidditch, when you're not scaring the life out of me you're a beautiful flyer."

Her blush, which hadn't fully receded was back in full force and she couldn't bring herself to look at him, just stared at the snitch whose delicate silver wings were flapping almost lazily. Draco was radiating smugness, but then he shifted uncomfortably and she automatically looked to him.

"I guess I should have realized that you wouldn't know this, but it's kind of a thing: presenting a snitch to a witch."

She felt a grin start to emerge on her face as she took in his very serious words and nervous demeanor. "This means something, doesn't it? This is one of those things that says you're serious?" she asked, carefully enunciating the last word.

He nodded, never taking his eyes off of her's. She reached out and grasped the little golden sphere carefully and then craned her neck to give him a gentle kiss.

"I'm proud of you, you know, you were wonderful today. You kept it together even after the dementors appeared."

"I didn't feel very together," he admitted, just above a whisper as he worked one hand into her hair. "And I am sorry, I overreacted last night, and I should have trusted you more about Potter. And I'm especially sorry for today, I never meant to make you worry, I know I would have been beside myself."

"Accepted," she said as she leaned into his touch. Since they'd decided to become more than friends he'd become somewhat obsessed with playing with her hair. She assumed most boys would have been clumsy about it, but he was so gentle, it was one of the most relaxing things in the world. "I'm sorry too, for being a coward and not talking to you about Harry. And for earlier, I was harsh."

"Also accepted," he leaned in and kissed her again and if she didn't know better, she would have said that the snitch in her hand vibrated happily.

Author's note: Thank you to Weestarmeggie for beta reading this, and for just letting me pick her brain and whine. You, lovely, are awesome! And thanks to all of you for continuing to love this story, all the alerts and reviews bring me such joy!