Chapter 9

Spinel was passed out against the stone wall in the far corner of the cell, her thin arms folded in her lap and her legs splayed out across the floor. Drool stained the top of her shirt, darkening the pink fabric. Her shallow, quiet breaths were the only sound Steven could hear as he squinted through the dark at her. The lines of her figure were difficult for him to discern with his weakened vision; he had recently grown accustomed to holding his left eye closed as protection from any amount of light, even from the faint glow of the warp pad.

Her round face was slack and calm in her sleep, and Steven's mind was forced back to ponder his recent dreams. This gem in front of him had loved his mother, he could feel it in her memories. She had loved her from the moment they had met, and that love grew and strengthened through every interaction they'd had. Her actions in the present proved that she still loved Pink Diamond, and that her feelings had endured whatever it was that had separated them.

It almost seemed that she had blamed Steven for the disappearance of Pink, or at least that was the only logical conclusion he could come to. The only scrap of evidence he had for his theory was how she had reacted when he called out her name, and how her attitude had changed towards him since. Her face read pure shock and horror as she turned to look down at him on the ground, scaring him half to death. He hadn't intended to elicit such a strong response, but she was going to leave him alone to starve and he had to do something to stop her.

She now seemed to be fighting herself in her mind every second they were together, and Steven could only wonder. Why was she keeping him here? At first, she was going to kill him, that much was obvious. She had attacked him maliciously, over and over, not caring whether or not he'd survive. Now, she just incessantly stared at him, and brought him food and water when he needed it, sustaining him like a pet. What was the point? Did she still think he was Pink? Steven's mind spun in confusion as he puzzled it out. From his point of view, Spinel gained nothing from this.

His perplexed gaze flickered to the gem's arm, where the faint scar of his bite had nearly completely faded from view. Spinel hadn't seemed to notice what the healing bite had signified. Steven's powers weren't all gone, or perhaps they were just slowly returning to him. Even his own wounds, aside from his stubbornly aching eye, had completely healed. The sore spots and bruises that once graced every inch of his body were now painless and clear, as if nothing had happened to him at all.

A small ember of hope burned in his chest at the idea that he might not be completely lost. He reached down towards his feet, using the strangling roots in the ground to pull himself into a sitting position. His chin pressed into his knees as he anchored two of his hands around one of the thinner strands of his constraint, bracing himself. His gaze was glued upon Spinel as he gave an experimental tug at the roots. A faint whine issued from the woody vine, causing him to freeze in terror. His eye strained through the dark to catch any movement from Spinel's corner. Her soft breath halted for a moment and she rolled onto her side languidly, sniffing. He watched as a strand of hair fell over her face before the sound of her light snores started up again.

Steven silently let out the breath he had been holding, turning back to look at the roots. Maybe trying to pull it straight from the ground wasn't the best approach, he thought. Shifting his body, he gripped the vine in both of his hands, slowly bending it. Vertical splits began to form, revealing a bright green tissue beneath that strangely reminded him of Peridot. His heart ached at the reminder of his friend, driving him to bend the root further. Sticky green sap began to weep onto his hands, the sharp smell filling the air around him. His breathing became labored and his face strained in concentration, all of his power focusing on breaking free. A faint glow of pink began to emanate from beneath his soiled t-shirt, washing the cell in warm light. The rough skin of the constraints cut into his fingers before his fists suddenly slammed together, the root giving way with a loud snap.

Spinel woke up with a gasp, shooting up from the ground. Steven's sticky hands rushed to cover his still subtly glowing gem, smearing sap into his shirt in the process. The pink gem rubbed sleep from her eyes, and he used the opportunity to shift his feet around, covering the broken root.

"What-" Spinel's sluggish speech was abruptly cut off by a yawn, her hand covering her wide mouth before she continued, looking around in confusion.

"What happened?"

Steven looked up at her, feigning a small smile and chuckling nervously. "You uh, you fell asleep."

"Fell…asleep?" She looked around again, disoriented.

"It's when you lay down, get comfy, don't move, and don't think about anything. And sometimes you dream."

Her eyebrows drew together in confusion as she took a deep breath in through her nose.

"What is that smell?"

The potent smell of the sap had permeated the air, even more so when the root snapped completely. Steven panicked.

"I don't smell anything! It's probably just, um, these fruits! Yeah, they're getting kind of old, I don't think they're good to eat anymore."

Spinel frowned and nodded, still dazed by her first experience with sleep. Steven's obviously forced tone completely eluded her. She turned to look at the spot she had fallen asleep in, her frown growing. She stared into the dark in silence for several minutes before shooting an apprehensive look at him. Her glowing eyes scanned his figure, finally noticing that he was in a strange position. He sat up on the ground, which was unusual by itself, but also his hands were clasped over his gem. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"What were you doing?"

Steven wiped his fingers on his shirt stealthily as he raised his palms to Spinel, in a gesture of innocence.

"Nothing! I was just, um…" He looked up warily, swallowing. He needed to think of something, fast. His gaze flashed to the burlap sack of fruits.

"The fruit! I was really hungry, so I ate one of the fruits. I-it was bad, so it gave me a stomach ache." As if on queue, his stomach gave a ravenous growl, and he placed his hands back over his gem, grimacing. In truth, he hadn't eaten for a long while, and he was starving.

His ruse, along with the perfectly timed cooperation from his stomach, seemed to fool her. She gave a disgusted glare at him before turning to pick up the bag. Over half of the contents were missing, and in truth, some of the fruits had started to go soft and liquify.

Her nose crinkled at the rotten fruits as she pulled the drawstrings shut and leaned the sack against the wall. Looking to his side, he spotted the empty water bottle, and he realized he hadn't had water in at least a day. His nervous voice piped up behind her.

"Um, I'm also out of water, here." He held up the empty glass bottle in her direction.

She stepped over and looked down at him flatly, almost annoyed. Her pink eyes flashed over his face, squinting slightly when she noticed his eye remaining closed, before she cast her gaze away. She steeled herself, tsking in frustration as she thrust her hand in his direction. Her head snapped back towards him when her fingers roughly wrapped over his on the neck of the bottle.

Steven held his breath as he watched Spinel's face instantly clear, her tired frustration disappearing in a blink. She stared, wide-eyed at their hands. Blankly, he noted that her fingers were colder than the glass as they pressed harder into his. Steven's gaze met hers, a sense of anxiety building in the pit of his stomach as he tried to pull his fingers away, only for her to tighten her grip.

She looked straight through him for a long time, causing him to squirm awkwardly. An intense look of yearning gleamed in her eyes before she closed them, knitting her eyebrows together in concentration. Before Steven had a chance to forcefully pry his hand from under hers, a white glow began to grow between them. Where her fingertips pinned his, a searing, dissolving heat began to melt into him. His breath was caught as his vision went white momentarily, and an image began to form.

Pink knelt and reached her satin-gloved hand across the open space between them. Their outstretched fingers brushed as she grabbed at the painted wooden toys. A spark passed between them, and their eyes snapped up to stare at each other.

Pink's fingers intertwined with hers, and she looked down at them. Her long eyelashes brushed her cheeks as she opened her full lips to speak. The words that came out were muffled and quiet, as if she was speaking through water.

Diamond pupils flashed up to meet hers, her lips drawing back in a sheepish smile. Her gaze flashed down to Spinel's lips, a blush creeping up her neck.

Steven and Spinel gasped in unison, snatching their hands from the bottle as if it had burned them. It fell to the floor, shattering on impact. The shards skidded across the stone, fleeing to every corner of the room. Steven fell backwards, his hands catching glass as he stared up at Spinel in horror.

"What was that?! Did you just- were you trying to fuse with me?!" He began to hyperventilate, staring at his bleeding hand in disbelief. His fingers tingled unpleasantly where they had been joined with hers, overshadowing the pain from the glass shards lodged in his palm.

She stared in similar shock at her own hand, seemingly taken aback by her own actions. She shook her head silently, her widened eyes not leaving her fingers as she flexed them experimentally in the air.

Steven's breath came out quick and short, his mind reeling and slipping into hysteria as a stinging salt flavor began to form in his mouth, and his ears filled with a rushing sound. Blinding spots of white began to shine like stars in his eyes, bleeding out from their centers and filling his vision. He fell onto his back, glass cutting through his shirt into his skin as he gasped for air. This was just too much for him to handle. His entire body was numb and cold, shivering from exertion. He tried and failed to comprehend what had just happened, why Spinel would try to fuse with him so suddenly.

Looking down from her tingling hand, Spinel saw Steven twitching and gasping on the stone floor, his mismatched eyes staring wildly at the ceiling. Tears streamed down his cheeks, mingling with his dark, curly hair. His chest heaved and shuddered as his eyes began to roll back.

In a panic, she leapt to his side, taking his face in her palms. She lifted his head up, brushing hair from his pale face as she rushed out, "Steven! Steven, you need to calm down! Please, just breathe. Breathe!"

With the pad of her thumb, she swept the tears from his cheeks, rocking his rigid body against hers. She worriedly scanned his pale face, whispering. "Please, breathe. Come on, Steven, I need you to breathe."

Her soothing voice grew quiet as he faded from consciousness.

…

He felt as if a weight were lifted from his body as he floated in darkness. On and on, the peaceful black stretched. There was no floor, no ceiling; all around him was nothingness.

He stood up for the first time in so many days, stretching his legs comfortably on a non-existent floor. He looked around, a little confused. What had happened? Why was he here? Where was here? Whispers echoed in the back of his mind, too hushed to be discerned.

His feet wandered, aching to finally walk again. The sore muscles in his legs worked themselves, granting him a sigh of relief. He continued on for a few minutes, basking in the feeling of walking again, when he suddenly spotted something peculiar. There, in the distance, some color! A break in the calm, monotonous black that his current landscape offered.

The light, swirling gold streaked into the blackness like brushstrokes. Glittering masses of golden reds and yellows formed the further he walked, clouds of color which he strained his eyes to look at.

"…Steven…"

He paused, looking around for the source of the whispers nagging at him. They quieted down again, their words devolving back into an indiscernible breeze.

He carried on, marching further into the colorful clouds of glitter until he found a path. The narrow road weaved through a garden of paint splashes and fluffy clouds, new colors forming around each bend. This place, wherever it was, was breathtaking.

"…breathe, please…"

He must be dreaming. But, why was he dreaming this? Where was he?

His mind wandered as he continued through the bright landscape, his feet carrying him around aimlessly. Just ahead, he could see a clearing. Paved stones of solid gold marked out the centerpiece of the landscape, a wide, open courtyard surrounded by columns and trees of shimmering gold. Above him, a bright sun shone down in striking rays of orange and silver, reflecting off of the pavement blindingly. Something about the aura of this place felt strangely familiar as he spun slowly, taking in all of the sights.

"…Steven, wake up…"

A small dot of darkness caught his attention, having appeared from thin air in the corner of his vision. He turned towards the anomaly, shocked to see a head of short, dark hair facing away from him. The heavy curls fell over slumped shoulders as the figure knelt in the center of the courtyard. The hem of her soft blue dress fanned out around her form, enveloping her crossed legs. Steven cautiously stepped closer to the figure, peering around the curtain of hair.

To his amazement, he found the face of his best friend, bowed as if in prayer. Her golden-brown eyes were closed and tears streamed down her cheeks. Her small, strong hands clasped in her lap gracefully as she wept.

She took a deep breath in, puffing her chest out as her face seemed to strain emotionally. Suddenly, as if a plug had been pulled, her breath escaped from her. Her lithe form deflated and her face immediately crumbled in despair, stifled sobs melding with her exhausted sighs.

"…come back, Steven…"

He was in Connie's dream.

His heart swelled with an unidentifiable emotion at the realization, freezing him in place. She continued to cry loudly into her palms, causing her soft hair to fall further over her face.

Steven finally gathered himself enough to approach, his shaky legs not cooperating with him as he closed the space keeping him from her. At last he collapsed to his knees, gently holding her wrists to guide her hands from over her eyes.

Puffy, tearful eyes met his. Connie's red face was washed in shock, scanning every inch of him in disbelief as he spoke.

"Connie, it's me! It's really me!"

He raised his hand to hold her cheek, smiling wearily as she blinked over and over, not believing her eyes.

"...Come back! Please..."

He looked upwards, fear growing in his chest at the desperate tone of the voice calling him. His face was pulled back by Connie's soft palms on his cheeks, his mismatched eyes welling with tears.

"What happened to you?! Your eye…Steven, where are you?"

Connie had raised herself up on her knees, her pleading eyes level with his as she blurted out her questions. Steven's lip quivered pitifully as he recounted all that he had gone through since the last time he had seen her. Far too much to actually tell her. He wouldn't put her through the worry she'd absolutely succumb to. He took a deep breath to steady himself before he answered her.

"Oh, Connie, I…"

"...come…BACK!"

His head was snapped back, his words dying in his throat as he fell. Connie's thin arms swiped out at him as he was snatched from her grasp. The golden world around him swirled into a blur, fading back into nothingness. A faint cry echoed as consciousness dawned on him, Connie's fearful voice ringing in his ears.

"Steven!"

…

Steven woke up with a violent gasp, instantly becoming aware of a pounding ache on his temple. He squeezed his eyes shut and focused on his heavy breathing, desperately attempting to ground himself. He had just been speaking with Connie, and something snatched him away from her.

"What just happened?!"

Spinel's panicked voice spoke directly into his face, her cool breath breezing across his cheek. He suddenly became painfully aware of their position as she shook him. She knelt at his side, one arm wrapped around his back and her other arm draped over his stomach, practically cradling his limp body in her thin arms. His breath quickened again as he opened his eye to see her worried face inches from his. She was too close.

"Don't touch me!" Steven roared at her, ripping himself from her grasp. He fell back onto the floor painfully, hissing at the glass shards still embedded in his skin.

Spinel huffed and tried to lift him up into a sitting position again, stubbornly placing her hands on his shoulders. Anger overtook him, and he lashed out at her. Both of his palms flew forward, roughly shoving Spinel off of him as hard as he could manage. A look of surprise flashed in her glowing eyes as she was slammed into the wall on the far side of the cell, her head knocking against the stone loudly.

"I said, don't touch me!" He flipped over, pulling himself up onto his knees as he heaved for breath. He dropped back onto his palms as his head pounded horribly, and he groaned in pain.

"What…what did you do to me?" He turned his bowed head to see Spinel standing against the wall, one of her hands rubbing the back of her head. Through her narrowed eyes, she watched him.

"You weren't wakin' up, so I woke you up. But I'm startin' to think you need to go back to sleep."

He thought of the pounding in his temple, and how his head had snapped back in the dream.

"Did you punch me? Who does that?!" He groaned again as he leaned his forehead into the cool ground, trying to soothe his quickly bruising face.

"It worked, didn't it?"

Spinel's snarky voice flared the anger in his chest violently, and he shot her a venomous look. If she hadn't taken it upon herself to 'wake him up' he would've had time to tell Connie more. Why did she suddenly care that he had fainted, after the numerous times she violently knocked him unconscious on purpose? His mind was spinning out of control, brimming with questions he burned to have answers to. His mouth rushed out his thoughts before he realized it, his voice coming out hoarse and acerbic.

"What is wrong with you?! Why, why did you try to…you tried to fuse with me! After everything you've done to me, why would you do that?"

Spinel merely glared at him, her eyes set in determined coolness. She obviously wasn't going to attempt to answer him, driving him further into mania.

"WHY?! What do you want from me?!"

As he yelled at her, his voice echoing all around the cell, Spinel's face turned and casted her eyes in shadow. He had obviously touched a nerve by asking a question she also longed to understand. He drove on further, furiously straining his voice as he screamed.

"Answer me! What do you want from me?! Why did you kidnap me, why are you keeping me alive?!"

"You need to stop talking." Spinel's voice came out blunt and flat, her command clear as her hand dropped from her injured head.

"Why? Because you don't even know why you're keeping me? You don't even know what you want!" Desperation drove his voice louder and higher as he pierced Spinel with wild eyes. His hands were balled into fists at his sides, his nails digging into his bloody palms.

Anger flashed in her glowing pink eyes as she took a step towards him, brandishing her fist. "Shut it! You don't know anything about me!"

"Then tell me! Why? Please, tell me anything! What did my mom do to you to make you want to torture me like this?!" His voice cracked pathetically as he finished, his energy depleted. He unclenched his fists as he dropped onto his hands, looking up into Spinel's eyes tearfully.

"Please, just tell me what horrible thing she did to deserve this. I know, I know my mom was a terrible person, and she hurt a lot of people. I've been cleaning up her mess my entire life." His breath shuddered as he wept, tears dripping from his cheeks onto the dusty stone ground. "I've helped all of her other victims so far…I can help you too. Just talk to me."

Spinel looked down her nose at his prone form, her eyes narrowing against heavy tears that threatened to fall. Through gritted teeth, she bit out, "You can't fix everything."

"I can't…only you can. You need help, you just need to accept it." He peered up at her striking form as he pleaded with her.

Undecipherable emotions flashed over her face, one after the other. His change of tone and his pleas seemed to confuse her, as if she couldn't decide how to feel. Fear, bewilderment, sadness, loss. Finally, she settled on anger. Her eyes glared down at him darkly as she chuckled, a cold, malicious sound. She wiped the unshed tears from her eyes.

"You're so much like her."

He let out an exhausted sigh, hanging his face down between his arms. His hair dangled over his eyes as he shook his head. A sad thought flashed upon him, flooding his mind with pity for this deranged pink gem. He spoke quietly into the ground.

"Would you be doing this to her?"

Quiet footsteps slowly marched over to him, stopping just in front of his hands. Steven watched her approach with tired, wary eyes. He winced in pain as she suddenly grasped a fistful of his curly hair, snapping his face up to meet hers. His hands flew to her wrist, pitifully trying to pull her off while tears sprung into his eyes. The roots around his feet strained painfully as he tried and failed to stand.

Her eyes glowed with intense emotion as she brushed his cheek with the backs of her fingers, sighing. She used his hair to turn his face this way and that, surveying every inch of him. Her lowered gaze finally settled on his watery eyes, sadness overtaking her facade.

"You are her…that's why you're here."

She sank to her knees, cupping his cheeks in her warm hands. Steven breathed with relief that she let go of his hair as he met her leveled gaze. Her eyes dropped lower, to his mouth, while she sighed again.

"There's something different about you, but you're still Pink. I can see it in your eyes, your hair, your lips. I couldn't see it at first, but the longer I stayed with you…" She broke off, turning away from him solemnly. Steven seized his opportunity to interject.

"Spinel, I know you loved my mom." He grasped her wrist in his hand as she whipped her head back to stare at him, sorrow written all over her face. He looked deeply into her eyes as he continued.

"I know you were in love with her. But I'm not her- I never will be. Keeping me here, away from my family, will never make you feel better about whatever happened between the two of you. Because she and I are different, and I can't replace her. Look at me." He placed a hand on her chin, raising her avoidant eyes to meet his.

"I am not Pink Diamond. You need to let me go."

Her gloved fingers dropped from his cheeks as her face washed in fear, a brief look that was almost instantaneously overtaken by outrage. Her teeth gnashed together loudly, causing Steven to cringe.

"You wanna leave me, huh?"

Steven sank down closer to the floor in the face of Spinel's rage. Her glowing eyes were on fire as she stood, drawing up to her full height. Her chest puffed out, her fingers curled into claws at her sides, and she seemed to intentionally frame herself in the room's dim lighting to have the most terrifying silhouette.

"No! Spinel, it's not that I want to leave you, I just want to be with my family again! They must be so worried about me. I miss them, and they don't know if I'm dead or alive right now!"

"I don't care what your stupid family thinks of you! In fact, I'd wager they aren't thinking about you at all!" She ended her declaration with a spluttering laugh, leaning her palms on her knees.

"What do you mean?" His blood ran cold at her evident amusement.

Spinel sighed dramatically, wiping tears of joy from the corners of her eyes.

"Have you really not noticed there's something off with your gem? That your powers are gone? Or, at least, they were." She held her arm up to the dim light, showing an indiscernible smudge of a scar, all that remained of his bite wound.

"Maybe I should hit you with the rejuvenator again, so maybe you'll get the hint. The Crystal Gems, well, they're not exactly themselves right now. That little runt of an Amethyst got away, but the others weren't so lucky."

Horror dawned on Steven at the idea, and the threat. If the weapon she hit him with took his powers away, what could it have done to Garnet and Pearl? It was obvious that the 'rejuvenator' was some kind of gem-specific weapon, because he didn't poof when he got hit.

Spinel knelt in front of him again, her eyes taunting him as she continued.

"They don't even remember you."

His breath was stolen from his chest as she stood up, a sinister smile playing on her lips.

"No…you're lying. They're my family, they'd never forget me." He shook his head desperately, trying to shake off the truth of her words. Without Pearl, without Garnet, they'd never find him. That explained why he'd been left undiscovered for so long; he had just assumed they were taking their time reforming. Connie and Amethyst were out looking for him by themselves, of course they couldn't have known he was directly under their feet.

"Need another demonstration?" Spinel laughed menacingly as she reached into her pocket, pulling out a pink, pen-like device. The sinister, toxic-pink blade of the scythe filled the cell, alighting them in its glow. She slung the horrid weapon over her shoulder, sighing and pouting theatrically.

"I really hate to have to do this again, but I can't have you getting your powers back on me, can I? I'll go easier on you this time, love."

Steven gasped in dread, raising his hands up to shield his face as Spinel brought the scythe around to his side. The electric heat that radiated from it warmed his shoulder sickeningly. Spinel took in his shaking form with apprehensive eyes, looking from his scrunched face to his outstretched hands. She frowned, her forced smile falling apart. Steven heard her voice dimly over the rushing in his ears and his own heartbeat.

"For what it's worth…I am sorry."

Spinel moved the scythe behind him before violently jerking her arm back, slicing through his shoulder. The last thing Steven saw as he agonizingly descended into unconsciousness was the pitiful gaze of his captor as she turned away.