Chapter 16
"Look, Pink!" Spinel raced ahead of her, taking the familiar path that led to their hideaway.
The garden seemed darker, dirtier somehow after her extended absence. Poor Spinel had spent those weeks here, all alone except for the growing grass beneath her feet.
Then and there, Pink decided that she needed to make it up to her.
"Look!" Spinel's voice rang out from the other side of the bush.
Peering over, Pink saw her crouched in the center of the familiar clearing, gesturing to a piece of wood precariously balancing up out of the ground.
"Um, that looks great, love! Just- what is it?"
Spinel giggled, warming her heart. She had missed this.
"It's a tree! So that we know where the door is, and you don't have to get on the ground to find it! I know you hate getting dirty." She smiled broadly, looking up to catch Pink's reaction to her gift.
"Spinel, that's so thoughtful!" She eyed the thin branch warily, imagining it falling over at the slightest touch.
"Can I?" She pointed at the 'tree'.
Spinel nodded, excited to see what she'd do. Pink knelt down next to the broken branch, surveying it. "Hmmm…oh! I have an idea, watch this." She wrapped her hands around the base of the branch, a crease forming between her eyebrows as she focused. Her gem gave a gentle glow across her stomach, warming the air.
When she stepped back, the branch really had turned into a tree. Its thin arms stretched up towards the sky, reaching with round, shiny leaves. Dotted along the clumps of foliage were magenta flowers, their petals as fine as velvet.
Surely, Pink thought, the Diamonds would never come here. Even if they did, they'd not suspect a tree of hiding anything in a garden. This little marker was safe.
"Oh, Pink! It's beautiful!" Spinel's cry of delight was music to her ears.
"Of course it is, love," she laughed, "I made them the color of your hair. Do you like it?"
Spinel looked as if she might explode from happiness. She was positively buzzing with energy, hopping from one foot to the other, filling the air with squeaking sounds.
Pink hummed, then laughed. "I'll take that as a yes."
Spinel nodded, smiling too hard to speak. Suddenly she threw herself across the space, flinging her arms around Pink's neck.
Pink responded in kind. Her heart burst with warmth at the feel of her love wrapped up in her arms after so long spent apart.
Their noses brushed as they both moved in for a kiss, smiling gently into each other's lips. She took a deep breath in, her nose filling with the smell of her lover.
Spinel's hands wound themselves into Pink's cloud of hair, twisting at her roots as their kiss deepened. Stars, how she had missed this.
She pulled the smaller gem tighter against her body, feeling her gem as a warm spot on her chest. Her own gem began to warm as well, filling the pit of her stomach with addictive heat.
That heat became a burning, searing light, threatening to consume them both as they broke apart, panting.
"We should go down if we wanna continue this," she sighed.
Spinel hummed, then turned her attention back onto her lips. Pink responded by running her hands up and down her back, lightly scratching.
The smaller gem melted under her touch for a moment before she seemed to rear up, gently pushing Pink to the ground. She landed on top of her, kissing her senseless.
She really must have lost her sense, then, as the light between their entwined bodies grew.
"Spinel…" she cautioned her, "What if someone sees?"
Spinel gave a great sigh, then rolled off of her onto the ground, staring up at the stars.
"You're right, but I just wish we could just be together. Outside. I can feel it every time we're Pink Tourmaline together…she wants to be free so badly. I still can't-" she huffed, rolling over to look at Pink's face, "I still don't understand how she could be such a bad thing."
Pink ran a hand through her cloud of hair, thinking back on the trial. She could still remember how White had called the Ruby and Pearl abominations, and that they were going against everything gemkind stood for by allowing themselves to get distracted from their purposes. She could remember the look in Blue and Yellow's eyes as the smaller gems told their story; one looked on in horror while the other looked down her nose in the darkest disgust.
The only thing she could remember feeling in that moment was pity. In a blink, she herself could be on trial for the same exact crime. She had imagined it then, Spinel and herself on their knees in front of the other Diamonds, confessing everything. The idea alone sent ice through her veins, freezing her to her throne. She could never let that happen.
"I don't know, either. All that I know is that what we're doing is dangerous. I don't think it's wrong, though. Pink Tourmaline is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I hope you feel the same way. We just need to be careful; so, let's go down so we can continue this." She wiggled her eyebrows as she grabbed Spinel's wrist, trying to lighten the mood.
Spinel smiled at her, but didn't lose the troubled gleam in her eyes as they went down into their secret hideaway together.
…
His head smacked violently into the pavement as he was thrown away from the warp. He slid across the smooth stone until he crashed into a bush face-down. Spitting out a mouthful of dirt, he looked up just in time to see Pearl disappear in a burst of light.
Pink stood further down the path, her hands locked over her mouth in horror. Her diamond-pupiled eyes stared blankly at the spot her servant had just disappeared from, no doubt headed directly to White Diamond.
His own terror flamed up in his chest, but he knew it was nothing at all compared to how Pink was feeling; she was his first priority. He picked himself up out of the bush and ran over to her.
"Pink, are you okay?"
Pink's eyes never left the warp as she shook her head, and fat tears gathered at the corners of her eyes. She flinched when he put his hand over hers. She stared ahead of her, too frozen to speak.
When her eyes finally met his, they were dimmer than he had ever seen them.
"Spinel, they're going to shatter you now. I…I can't protect you from them, from White."
…
Spinel's head snapped up when she heard a faint, almost silent whimper. Steven had been curled up by the wall sleeping for the past few hours, though he seemed to be waking up. His face was contorted in pain, and he was shivering violently. Another pained whine escaped his lips, and then he was still again.
Spinel frowned to herself, wondering what was disturbing his sleep.
…
"I'll be back, I promise."
Pink tucked a mageta-petalled flower into his hair, brushing a kiss across his forehead. Her diamond-pupiled eyes bored into his, filled with a sadness and desperation he had hoped to never see there.
She was leaving him.
She had no choice.
Pearl had to be stopped. If Pink was fast enough, everything would be okay.
"If she's seen White already, I'm coming right back and we'll leave." Her lips breezed across his, rushed and chaste.
"I must hurry, but I'll be back. Please, don't come after me, just wait here."
With that, she stood. Her hand lingered on his cheek for a moment that lasted an eternity.
He blinked, and she was across the garden, stepping up onto the warp pad. Her eyes swept across the bright landscape, meeting his for a split second.
"I'll see you soon, love."
Her form was sucked up into the rush of the warp, and she was gone.
The silence that settled across their garden was deafening.
…
Hours passed. Anxiety twisted his stomach into knots, but he stood firm. She would be back for him. He trusted her.
Maybe she had found Pearl in time, and maybe she was talking to her. Their story would take a long time to explain, it would make sense that she would need a few hours.
He just had to wait.
…
Days went by without any sign of Pink. Did something happen to her?
The thought flew from his mind the second it appeared; the Diamonds would never hurt one of their own. White was a monster, but hurting Pink would turn the others, and probably a majority of their subordinates, against her.
Still, something was keeping her away. He thought of the tower Pink told him about, where Blue and Yellow used to lock her away for misbehaving. Well, they had certainly misbehaved.
. They couldn't keep her locked up forever; she would come back as soon as she could.
…
Grass began to sprout up between the cracks in the pavement around him. The green shoots told him that a considerable amount of time had passed, but he had a hard time telling exactly how long it had been.
It felt like just a moment ago that Pink had left.
'I'll see you soon, love.'
Her words echoed through his mind, filling him with hope. She would be back for him. He just had to wait.
…
The starry sky turned over and over, marching on ceaselessly while he stood. The constellations blurred in his eyes. How long had passed? He had no idea, but he knew he had to wait. Pink would come back to him.
The trimmed bushes and reaching vines had begun to wither around him, surrendering to the wild sprouts and weeds that were slowly overtaking the landscape.
…
Did she forget him? She couldn't have.
It had been years, though. Hundreds of them.
Something must still be keeping her, he told himself. It seemed like a stretch, but maybe the Diamonds still had her locked away. She wouldn't have forgotten him. She couldn't have.
A thick, grimy dust had settled across the once bright pavement, a change so gradual that he barely noticed it. His shoes never lifted from the ground, because he had nothing to walk towards.
He had nothing left, except the flame of anticipation that flickered in his heart. She would come back, and everything would be okay.
…
His endless night stretched on in a haze after the first few thousand years.
Time blurred in his eyes, which never left the crystalline surface of the warp pad.
His life became a silent, unmoving, unchanging picture. The flora of the garden had long since lived and died, turning his landscape a dull grey.
The roots from a nearby tree had grown out of the ground, wrapping themselves over his feet in their desperate attempt to find nutrition. There was none to be found.
…
The panic that once filled his entire being had numbed into something colder, harder, more still. He had become a statue. Every second felt at once like an eternity and a blur.
Was Pink ever coming back? Surely she was out of the tower by then. Why, then, was she not coming back?
…
A buzz of static sounded from behind him, as quiet as the breeze. His mind sharpened for a moment before returning to the same frozen stupor he had been in for an eternity.
Buzz. Buzz.
"-Pink fled the comforts of Homeworld-"
His head snapped around to a screen that had materialized itself upon a platform at the other end of the garden. The brightness of it stung his eyes, but he stared on as White Diamond's voice crackled through his world of stillness.
"On Earth, she made a new home, new friends, and finally, new life-" The screen flickered, then returned to show an image of a small, organic being.
"-giving up her form to bequeath her gem to her half-human son."
What?
The rest of White's words were lost on him. This organic being was all that was left of Pink?
She was gone.
Gone…
She was never coming back for him.
The screen moved away from the blinding face of White, careening down until it focused on the pathetic being. Steven Universe. Its name was splashed across the bottom of the screen.
"How's it going, everybody? I know you all might be thinking of me as the new Pink Diamond, but you don't have to put me on a throne. I already have a rightful place, and it's on Earth. It's a beach house where I live with my friends, Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. As much as I've loved dismantling the empire and saving all of your planets, I can't wait to get home and spend some quality time with my friends."
The beings' words burned through him. Numbly, he fought to lift his feet from their prison. The roots strained against his ankles, dragging him back as hard as he yanked forward.
It couldn't be true. Pink wouldn't have left him, she wouldn't. She had promised.
The screen flickered to black just as the roots finally snapped, and he ran on unsteady legs across the space, sending clouds of dust into the air with each step. His knees hit the stone as the projector closed itself, shrinking into a stone diamond floating above the platform.
His fingers dug into the pavement until they cracked, but he was too lost to care.
Pink was never locked away, she just never came back. She chose to leave him there.
How dare she?
He had done everything she had ever wanted and more; he had been there for her when no one else was, and she just dropped him?
Pearl's words echoed through his head, a blaring truth he had spent six thousand years ignoring.
"I've seen plenty of 'best friends' come and go, and it always ends the same. She gets sick of them, and comes back to me. That's just how it goes."
Pearl was on Earth with that Steven. Pink had kept her.
Without so much as a word, Pink had forgotten all about him. He could almost understand, but the very least she could've done was to tell him.
She could've told him not to stand around waiting for someone who wanted nothing to do with him; she could've told him not to waste his life away for her.
Everything he had ever done, he had done for her. He was made for her, he lived, and he would die for her. All for her. Always for her.
And she didn't want him. She didn't care, she never spared a thought for him.
He had been so blind, so…stupid.
How could he ever believe she loved him? She was a diamond, one of the rulers of the universe, and he was nothing.
Nothing, nothing, nothing.
His gem felt like it was splintering, falling to bits on the ground. His entire world was falling to bits with it, shattering like glass; the jagged edges sliced at his mind, tearing hysterical screams from his throat. His body rocked, and the world rocked with him.
He meant nothing to her. He meant nothing.
Nothing, nothing, nothing.
He would explode, he was sure of it. He welcomed it with open arms; anything to end the pain crushing him alive. He wanted to die, to let the shards of his gem fall and scatter, to embrace oblivion.
Oblivion never came for him. As he fell to his side, clutching at his gem in agony, his world fell into a different light, and everything changed.
Nothing, nothing, nothing.
He wouldn't be 'nothing'. He would show them.
…
When Steven woke up, the first thing he was aware of was that he was being held. Warm arms embraced him from behind, gently rocking him side to side. Spinel's thin chest was pressed against his back, holding him up in a semi-sitting position.
The next thing he noticed was how hot he was. His entire body felt as if he were on fire, though he was shivering. His head was pounding horribly as he tried to ground himself in the present.
How long had it been since he fell asleep? Had he witnessed thousands of years in just a few hours? It was hard to believe.
Spinel's breath was unbearably warm as it breezed through his hair, and he almost flinched away. He felt like he was boiling alive.
To his relief, her arms dropped as he moved to sit up on his own. The cool stone of the wall felt amazing on his skin. His eyes closed on their own as he pressed his cheek into it, feeling his fever melt away.
"Steven? Are you alright?"
He peeked his eye open to see Spinel leaned up next to him. She was chewing her lip anxiously, again.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He paused as he felt a yawn coming on. "Why do you ask?"
She sucked in a breath. "You were crying. A-and shaking. Did you have a bad dream?"
He did. He'd had the most dreadful, heartbreaking dream imaginable, but he couldn't tell her that. They finally had some semblance of a friendship going on, and he wasn't about to ruin it. Her eyes were full of concern as she watched him think, and his heart gave a pang of pity. After all that Pink had put her through, she was still concerned about his well-being.
He was equally worried for hers. Finally he knew what had happened to her. Pink had seemed so sincere when she said she'd come back; even he believed her. Why did she never come back? She had absolutely no reason to leave Spinel there all alone, especially after she fled Homeworld and the Diamonds. There was nothing stopping her, but she stayed away.
He looked over the concerned face of his captor with sadness. Though, he supposed she wasn't much of a captor anymore. He could leave if he really wanted to.
He wouldn't. Not after what he had seen in his dream; if he left her now…He didn't want to think about what would happen to her. He didn't want to think about how he'd just be repeating his mom's mistakes all over again. He would stay.
"Um, yeah. I had a pretty rough dream, but I'm okay."
Spinel nodded, then looked down at her hands. "Did you…remember any more?"
As he thought about it, he had. Just a tiny flash of memory compared to the six thousand years of grief from Spinel, but he had seen from Pink's eyes nonetheless.
"Yeah, some. She made you a little tree of flowers, the same color as your hair. You really loved them." Spinel blushed at that, looking away. "Then you guys talked some about Pink Tourmaline and- um, came down here together. I saw some of what happened after, but it all happened so fast, and it all sort of blurred together; I can't really figure it out."
Spinel's embarrassment had morphed into dread, and the black streaks on her face seemed darker somehow. Her voice came out as a hoarse whisper. "Yeah…that's pretty rough."
He knew the answer of course, but he needed to get her talking so that he could help her heal. He let the silence stretch between them for a moment before he said, "She never came back for you, did she?"
The look of grief that crossed her face could've torn him apart. She shook her head in silence, digging her nails into her knees. Her breaths became sharp and labored, and she began to rock herself manically.
"You..." Her voice was barely above a whisper. He just watched her, giving her time to pull herself together enough to speak. "You tell me. Were you- I mean, was she ever planning on coming back? Did she mean what she said to me, then?"
Steven held his breath as he watched her dig her nails further into her skin, nearly drawing blood. She didn't seem to feel it at all.
Before he knew what he was doing, his hands wound themselves into hers, lifting them from her abused knees. Her glowing eyes flashed up to his as he rested their entwined hands on her lap.
"She meant it. I don't know what kept her from going back to you, but I do know that she really, truly loved you. She never wanted to leave you." Then, he shocked himself. Almost instinctively, he moved himself closer to the crying gem. Her teary eyes went wide as he sat down at her side, facing her, and reached a hand up to her cheek. They both stopped breathing as he firmly pressed their foreheads together. Her cool, smooth skin was strangely comforting against his.
"I won't leave you. I'm here, for as long as you need me; I promise."
Spinel's hands flew to clutch at her gem as she suddenly gave a heart-wrenching sob.
"Pink, please don't go! Let's just leave now, or we could just stay here together! They have no clue about our secret room, they'd never find us there!"
She was on her knees, her round face streaked with dirt.
Pink reached a hand down to stroke her cheek, brushing away some of the soil. Pearl had thrown her so viciously, unnecessarily so. If that little gem hadn't been with White yet, she'd have to face Pink.
Stars, she hoped she could make it in time to catch Pearl. She imagined ripping her gem straight from her head and smashing it on the ground.
She had to hurry.
She spoke, although she barely heard what came from her mouth. She pushed a flower behind Spinel's ear, then pressed their lips together for what she hoped wouldn't be the last time. She wouldn't let it be the last time.
…
Steven gasped as he came back to the present. The first thing he noticed was Spinel's breath brushing across his lips, so close to what he had just seen in Pink's memory. Her tears continued to flow down her face, just like they had on that day thousands of years ago.
He wouldn't let her hurt like that ever again.
He moved his head to the side and wrapped his arms under hers, hugging her close. Her chest still shook with her violent sobs, but she needed to know that he was there for her.
"It's okay, Spinel, let it out. I'm here." His hands patted her back as she slumped into him, and suddenly he was the one holding her upright.
Slowly, her arms wound their way over his shoulders, grasping at his shirt. Together, they rocked.
Spinel spoke, and he listened.
…
Lapis was slumped on the couch, watching Camp Pining Hearts on one of Peridot's tablets, with the smaller gem curled up in her lap, asleep.
Connie approached them, careful to not wake Peridot. She waved her hand in front of her to get Lapis' attention.
When the blue gem looked up, she whispered, "Have you seen Pearl or Bismuth today?"
Lapis shook her head; no one had seen the pair for a couple of days. At first, Pearl would insist on checking on Lapis every few hours, but then she just seemed to drop off. Connie took that as a sign that her plan was working, but she hated not knowing exactly what was going on.
She left Lapis and Peridot to themselves and stepped outside. She hadn't gotten much alone time since the couple decided to keep her company at Steven's house, but it was bittersweet. On the one hand, she never had to be alone with her thoughts, but on the other, she missed the peace and quiet.
The sunset outside was the perfect respite for her. The fiery red light sparkled across the ocean's waves, lighting up the whole sky in orange and cotton-candy pink.
Little did she know, she wasn't the only one watching. She became aware of that fact as she heard a faint giggle from somewhere above her head. At the edge of the porch, she craned her neck upward to see two pairs of legs hanging down from the cliff far above.
So, that's where Pearl and Bismuth had gotten to. She stealthily turned and toed her way back inside, hoping to not interrupt their date.
She walked right past the couch and up the stairs to Steven's bedroom, yawning. The constant sitting around and waiting were torture to her, and the never ending anxiety she felt was so draining. She set an alarm on her phone, and fell into the bed. She was immediately taken by a deep, dreamless sleep.
…
Steven grimaced as he felt himself falling into another random memory.
She sat at her vanity hidden in the wall, and toyed with the tray of pebbles. The ones she had already brought to life climbed up her stockings to join her hands on the tabletop, peering through her fingers at their soon-to-be new friends.
A gentle pink glow emanated from her palms, and when she opened them, a stout grey figure stood, brushing itself off.
"Welcome to life!"
She smiled at the little person, proud of her creation. The little person smiled back at her as it was embraced by the rest of the Pebbles. They were like a little family, all happily living together in her rooms.
He gritted his teeth uncomfortably as he came back again. He hadn't stopped seeing memories since he and Spinel first embraced, and he didn't hear half of what she had told him. Not that he needed to, since he had witnessed it all firsthand just a bit ago, but he still felt bad.
With a final squeeze, he disentangled himself from the pink gem and took a breath of cool air. Spinel's face was red and puffy as she looked up at him.
"I'm so sorry that she did that to you…You didn't deserve that. I…" He broke off, lost for words. What Pink had done was unthinkable, and he had to fix it.
Spinel sniffed, wiping her nose with the back of her glove.
"I just hope we can figure it all out somehow. I keep getting pieces, but I feel like I'm missing something big." A crease formed between his eyebrows as he tried to make himself remember something that could help. Nothing came to him. "It's so frustrating."
A pink-gloved hand covered his. "You don't need to force yourself to remember, Steven. It'll come to you when it does. We just have to wait for it." With that she stood and held her hand out to him.
He eyed her warily, not sure what she was asking of him. Still, he took her hand, and followed her lead as she pulled him to his feet.
His hands flew to her shoulders as his knees threatened to buckle under him. She grimaced a bit and snaked her arm around his waist, supporting most of his weight. Without another word, she started taking small steps along the wall, giving him plenty of time to keep up.
She was helping him walk. His shaky steps slowly strengthened, and he could lift himself up a bit further as they walked lap after lap around the room. Their silence would be really awkward for him if he wasn't so focused on staying upright; he was one misstep from falling flat on his face.
Just as he feared, his sandal caught a crack in the stone floor, and he stumbled. Spinel's arm tightened around him in response, and he fell into a vision.
Pink looked up into the tree, where Spinel was watching her gleefully. How was she going to get up there? She couldn't just stretch herself up like the smaller gem had done.
She peered down, surveying the lower-hanging branches intently.
Blue said something behind her, but she wasn't listening. She placed her foot on a branch and pushed down to test it. Just like she thought it would, it snapped and fell to the ground. She gave a loud sigh of frustration, and looked up at Spinel, hoping for some assistance.
"Hey, are you okay? Do you need a break?" Spinel's voice pulled him out of the memory. He was tense and he had stopped walking, so he quickly took a step forward.
"I'm fine, let's keep at it. I think I'm getting the hang of it." His atrophied leg muscles were slowly but surely getting used to moving again, and he was glad for it. He felt so helpless lying on the floor. "Thank you, for helping me like this."
Spinel didn't respond to him, and he could guess why. It was her fault that he needed help in the first place. They walked on in silence.
He became increasingly aware of the hand pressing into his side, and the effect it was having on him. Snatches of images flashed behind his eyes, all of her. They would appear and fade in the blink of an eye, but he knew where they were coming from. Something about her touch was triggering him to remember her. Why?
He hissed and gritted his teeth as the images swirled through his head faster, disorienting him. His knees gave out, and he fell to the floor. Spinel was right there with him, looking over his face with concern.
"Are you hurt?"
He shook his head, glad to be out of her grasp for a moment. The images in his head faded away, and the dizziness subsided. "I'm fine, just…give me a sec." He closed his eyes.
Should he tell her what was happening? How would she take it?
"I, um, I'm remembering things. Her memories."
"What? Like, right now?" Her tone was incredulous. At his nod, she frowned.
"Also, I think I know why." Gosh, this was awkward. He fought the blush that threatened to creep up his neck as he forced the words out, "It's you. Being…um, close to you is making me see her memories."
It was Spinel's turn to blush, then. She yanked her hands away from him, holding them behind her back for good measure. "I'm sorry! Are you okay? You look like you're in pain."
"No it's fine, really. It's just weird. It's not all coming back in any sort of order, just in random little bits here and there that I can't make any sense of." He let out a short, dry chuckle. "It's almost worse than not remembering at all; I'm just getting all of the wrong stuff. It's absolutely useless."
She was chewing her lip again, firmly holding her hands behind her. What was it with them always having such uncomfortable silences?
He decided to break the spell first, clearing his throat. "Did you want to continue? Um- walking, I mean." He could've hit himself in embarrassment.
Spinel nodded and stood, but she seemed unsure of how to proceed. She hesitated for a moment, looking as if she wanted to help him up, but her arms stayed behind her.
With a wry smile, he reached a hand up to her, and she took it. They returned to their previous positions, and started stepping around the perimeter of the room again. Steven took the flashes of memory he received silently, not wanting to frighten her. Eventually, though, his legs felt weak.
"I think I'll take that break now, if that's alright." They sat down together, and Spinel moved to take her arm from his waist. He reached out to stop her, holding her hand against his side. "Wait, stay. It's helping."
She hesitated, but then she slumped against the wall, staring at the ceiling.
He closed his eyes, focusing on the feelings and images flitting through his head. They were too fast and out of focus, no matter how hard he tried to hold on to them. He needed to try harder.
His hand reached out next to him, searching. Spinel saw what he was doing and placed her hand in his. At the contact, the images slowed down a bit, but didn't become clearer.
He hated the idea forming in his mind, but a part of him was excited to finally see the truth about his mom. If a few moments of awkward physical contact were what he needed to finally get the answers he had been waiting for his entire life, he decided it was worth it.
Swallowing his anxiety, he turned to his side. The arm around his back fell as she met his gaze, and she immediately started chewing her lip nervously.
"So, um… I think we need to be closer, if that's okay with you. I'm ready to find out what really happened. I think that maybe this-" He gestured between them, "-is how we can do that."
Spinel looked frightened, to say the least. "A-are you sure? Won't you just dream all of the memories anyways?"
Steven huffed in frustration. "That would take forever, since her memories are all mixed in with-" He caught himself, "-other stuff. I don't only dream of her memories, and waiting for it all to come to me that way could take months." He had decided, and as long as Spinel was willing, they'd have their answers.
His legs shook as he stood himself up, but he didn't fall. His hand extended down to grab hers, and then they were standing face to face. He kept her hand in his, waiting for her to speak.
He could practically see the gears turning over in her head as she debated with herself. Finally, she seemed decided. Her voice shook as much as her hands were.
"Are you sure that this will work?"
He didn't have to consider it for too long. "Yes. I'm one hundred percent sure. When we're like this," he held up their joined hands, "it's like I'm getting blurry pictures. When we're closer, like before, it's clearer. I don't know why it's working, but it is."
She sighed, then nodded. "Do whatever you think will help. I…I'm ready to know, too."
If he thought about it, it was surprisingly easy. He had fought his entire life to get answers, when all along all he had to do was get to know a specific gem. She had been waiting for him.
He wrapped his arms around her back, squeezing her against his chest. Her gem pressed over his own heart, and he could feel her face buried in his neck. This is so weird.
Her wild hair brushed across his face, and he was hit with the same exact smell from his memories thousands of years ago.
Suddenly, their surroundings changed.
They were in Pink's palace, hiding their embrace behind closed doors. She turned her head, pressing her lips into her lover's hair, breathing in her scent.
Steven was shocked and embarrassed to see that he really had just kissed Spinel's hairline, and he found her looking up at him in obvious confusion.
"Is it working?"
He nodded, too embarrassed to speak. She seemed to understand and went back to pressing her face into his shoulder, if only to hide her blush.
He felt like he was boiling alive again, but this time for a totally different reason. He had never been so flustered or tense hugging another person; but there he was, beet-red and unsure of himself. Where was he supposed to put his hands? He didn't want to make her uncomfortable, and yet he had to hold her to make it work.
The pink gem was frozen in his arms, as if she was determined to become a statue. She was definitely as nervous as he was, he realized.
He broke away from her with a sigh. "This isn't working. I don't want to make you uncomfortable; we'll just find another way." He took a step back from her, clearing his head.
Spinel twisted her hands in front of her, looking thoroughly conflicted. "I'm not uncomfortable, it's just hard to be that close to you without thinking about her. You remind me of her so much, and I just feel… confused."
He could've kicked himself for being so inconsiderate. "I'm so sorry, I didn't think about that. We- we can just wait it out, don't worry about it."
"No!" She noticed him flinch away from her shout and she continued, much calmer, "I can do it, don't worry about me. The sooner we're out of this mess, the better. I…I think I know what to do. If you're okay with it, that is." At his stare, she pointed to her own mouth.
Steven felt like ice water had been dumped on him as he understood what she was suggesting.
A kiss?
Could that really work? It seemed almost too simple. Spinel eyed him sheepishly, as if she felt bad for even making the suggestion. She probably did.
It would be so weird, but it was worth a try. He had been dreaming of kissing her for weeks, so how different could it be?
"We could try, I guess." Steven almost regretted the words the second they left his mouth, as he saw a spark light in Spinel's glowing eyes.
His hands went cold as she stepped closer to him, her eyes boring into his with an intensity he had never seen there before. The thought suddenly occurred to him that he had never kissed anyone besides Connie before, and he had no idea what to expect.
Luckily for him, Spinel seemed perfectly willing to take the lead. She stopped just a few inches away from him, close enough that he could feel the heat radiating from her body. Her cheeks lit up in a brilliant red as she grabbed his hands, tentatively placing them on her waist.
"Pink used to do that," she explained.
Steven only nodded, trying to calm the uncomfortable squirming in his stomach. What exactly was he supposed to do here? Where was he supposed to look?
His breath hitched as Spinel's arms reached up, brushing lightly across his chest before coming to rest on either side of his face. For once, her touch was gentle; she held him as if he were made of paper, as if he would crumble and fall apart any second. She took a steadying breath, then looked into his eyes, letting him prepare. He nodded; he was as ready as he would ever be.
The last thing he saw before his eyes squeezed shut was Spinel's face moving closer and closer, twisted in anxiety. He took a sharp breath in through his nose, trying not to flinch.
Her thin lips brushed across his for the lightest moment.
Just the slightest bit of pressure, and Steven was lurching forward in dizzying pain. A hiss escaped between his teeth as he felt all of the air violently crushed from his lungs.
There was no doubt, this would work. Already, he could feel alien emotions playing at the edge of his consciousness, things he definitely shouldn't be feeling.
He gasped, trying to relieve the suffocating pressure in his chest. The air that filled his lungs was strangely warm; had this room always been so hot?
Spinel stiffened in his hands, and with a shock, he realized that he was digging his nails into her skin. His grip loosened, but he couldn't lift his forehead from her collar. How he had ended up there, he had no idea, but all that mattered to him was forcing breath after breath into his lungs, which didn't seem to want to cooperate.
Distantly, he could feel Spinel's hand in his hair, trying to comfort him.
His head cleared after a long moment, and he could finally breathe. Her fingers returned to his cheeks, lifting from her chest.
They had to keep going, he knew that for sure. No matter what he had to do, or how badly it would hurt, he had to do this. His entire life had led to this moment, when he'd finally understand. All of his mom's secrets, all of her misdeeds and betrayals, would finally be known to him.
He couldn't stop now.
Spinel's eyes were on fire as he met her gaze and he could only hope this wasn't as torturous to her as it was to him.
If the look she gave him was any indication, it definitely was.
No matter what, he reminded himself. His arms found their way back around the gem's waist, and he closed the distance between them.
…
Author's note: I'm evil, I know.
Fair warning: I've changed this story's rating to M, just to be safe. Next chapter is uh…yeah.
Enjoy ;)