Chapter 28
Narcissa sat back in her chair and attempted to disguise the fact that she was shaking.
Her cousin, however, felt no need to try and hide his feelings. "His soul, a piece of his fucking soul! Well that gives a whole new meaning to the term soulless monster." Sirius raged. "I mean who does that? Merlin, how can things possibly be worse than we thought they were?" He continued plaintively as he flopped back into a chair and tossed an arm over his eyes.
Narcissa wanted to roll her eyes and scold him for his dramatics, but she couldn't. Because he made an excellent point and she felt the same way, she just had more dignity than to whine and flail about. But she too was terrified for everybody she loved: he was right, this was even worse than they'd suspected.
"There really were no lengths to which The Dark Lord wasn't willing to go," Lucius answered dryly. I just didn't know this was possible- there is a reason that there is such a veil of mystery drawn over soul magic, this is a crime against not just magic, but nature. But I suppose there is a reason he was so feared that nobody dared even speak his name, even though it wasn't even his true name and only held so much power."
Sirius snorted. "It's called a nomme de guerre for a reason, Malfoy, the entire point is to inspire fear in those you mean to rule."
Lucius just gave him a curt nod in response.
Under any other circumstances Narcissa would have teased them. The two of them had the oddest relationship, they despised each other but also held a grudging respect for one another too. It was usually equal parts amusing and exasperating. But tonight she felt nothing but fear and horror.
It had taken surprisingly little effort once they had the Black library at their fingertips to figure out what the journal the Dark Lord had left in Abraxas' care actually was. They'd once again put off their research until the children were out of their respective homes- it hadn't been difficult to convince Sirius of this precaution once the possible danger to his godson had been explained. But they hadn't wasted any time beyond that, and all gathered on the morning of September 1st to restart the research she and Lucius had begun. It was surprisingly nice to have another hand on board, Sirius was a interesting addition to say the least- intelligent, intuitive, and completely irreverent.
Narcissa had wished she could involve the Grangers directly as well, they'd be at least as determined as her cousin who could be somewhat easily distracted. But without any magic to protect them from some of the dark texts they were examining, they would be sitting ducks. However, to everybody's surprise their involvement was unnecessary anyway because, within only days of Draco, Hermione, and Harry's return to Hogwarts; she, Lucius, and Sirius had been able to put a name to the darkness.
Horcrux.
It scared her how easily they had been able to figure it out by simply combining the knowledge in just a handful of books from their dual collections. She could only wonder how many others had been able to do the same? The Dark Lord had clearly acquired the knowledge, after all, and he didn't have his own family library. Had he done it by combing through theirs? The very idea made her feel dirty.
She took some deep breaths as she tried to forget the horror of what they had learned, even as she knew that she never could. The thought of the word 'horcrux' made her shudder, she absolutely refused to say it out loud. It felt blasphemous that they even had knowledge of such a disgusting thing and she wished that when this was all over she could ask Lucius to remove the memory of it from her mind, but then, she couldn't leave him alone with such a burden.
Unfortunately, they still didn't know how to destroy it. As it turned out, people who were willing to write down the method for violently wrenching a piece of one's soul out of one's body by way of a murder, and then storing it in a foreign object to make it so that you couldn't be killed, were also unwilling to also provide the information on how to destroy such an object.
But they hadn't dwelled on that the first night they'd discovered what they were dealing with. By mutual silent agreement they stored the books in the hidden compartment under Lucius' study where Abraxas had originally kept the journal so that nobody- Merlin forbid, their children- could just stumble upon them. And then Lucius had called for their best aged firewhiskey and they'd proceeded to get rip roaring drunk.
Well, Lucius and Sirius had gotten drunk. Narcissa just sipped from her tumbler quietly and thought over whether they could have made different, better choices and spared themselves and- mostly, Draco and Hermione- the trials that were surely coming. But she just didn't know the answer to that, would never know, and decided it was finally time to let it go. They had enough work to do without dwelling on the past.
She watched with grim amusement as Lucius and Sirius stumbled to breakfast the next morning. She'd decided that given the circumstances she wouldn't attempt to deprive them of a hangover potion and there was one at each of their place settings. It was bad enough that they'd passed out on the floor and the sofa of Lucius' study respectively.
"So," said Sirius after he'd guzzled his potion in a manner that made Narcissa cringe. "We keep looking for a way to destroy this abomination and once we do he's finished, right? I mean I know the news hit me pretty hard, but really, things are looking up." He made a face that was surely meant to be cheerful, but just looked pained.
Narcissa didn't know the answer to that question, but she had an ominous feeling. She glanced at her husband whose face was grim, and then back to her cousin who was obviously reading the tone of the room correctly and visibly began to wilt.
"I do not know, to be honest," Lucius said eventually, "this is why one does not dabble with soul magic. I cannot be certain that destroying the journal would also destroy the wraith, and you are assuming he has only made one… of these objects."
Narcissa had to grip the arms of her chair to keep herself upright and she heard Sirius' breath hitch.
"What do you mean? You think he made more than one? You think he ripped his soul into multiple pieces!"
"Now that we have proof of how far he was truly willing to go to achieve immortality I cannot discount it," Lucius said, his voice completely even, "nor do I feel it prudent to rule out the possibility that he performed other rituals to keep him anchored to this plane."
Sirius leapt from the table sending his chair skidding across the floor behind him. "What the fuck Malfoy!"
Lucius pinched the bridge of his nose. "It is just a theory, but as I said, I do not believe it is one that we can afford to discount."
"Explain," ordered Sirius through clenched teeth as he marched up and down the length of the room.
It was a testament to how shaken he was that Lucius did not take offense and simply began talking. "My father was one of the Dark Lord's first followers, and part of his inner circle, to be sure. But he was by no means his favorite or his most trusted follower. It is unimaginable to me that if there was only one, that he would have chosen my father to entrust with it."
"So, what, you think he made a whole host of these things and just passed them out to all of his Death Eaters?"
"Not a whole host, and certainly not to all his Death Eaters," Lucius remained outwardly calm. "First of all, I will have to do the arithmancy, but I can only imagine there are limits to how many times one can perform this ritual before it becomes unsustainable. Secondly, you are forgetting that there are many other ways he could have chosen to hide them, they are not necessarily with other Death Eaters. We will have to look into other possibilities on that front as well."
"Maybe your father just happened to be with him when he created his one and only and that's why he gave it to him," Sirius posited, a little desperately.
Lucius just shook his head. "I have other reasons for believing there are either more than one-" he visibly hesitated- "horcrux, or other issues we will have to deal with before he can be fully destroyed. When I met the Dark Lord he looked like a handsome older man, charming, powerful, but just a man. And perhaps he was a little...eccentric, but he was sane. As time passed he grew more power hungry, more frightening, and he lost his sanity gradually- for the most part. But there were at least two different occasions on which in a matter of hours he grew considerably more insane, and visibly less human. I submit that he performed the horcrux ritual, or maybe some other ritual, on those occasions. That's at least twice, and just in the time that I was in his service, Father had the diary before I was marked."
Sirius stopped pacing, he was breathing very heavily and he looked every bit as crazed as he had the morning he'd leapt onto this very table as a dog. All of a sudden he strode forward, picked up the teapot and flung it at the wall. Narcissa jumped as it shattered, and became aware that she was still gripping the arms of her chair even as she thought, a little hysterically, that she was going to have to stop allowing him in this room if he was going to keep being so destructive.
It was completely silent for a few beats before Sirius spoke. "I apologize Cissy, I will of course pay for that," his voice was odd and stilted and Narcissa could see a battle raging in his eyes. "I have to go, I cannot sit here and discuss this with the pair of you right now." And with that he turned on his heel and marched out of the room.
It was silent again for a very long time before she could bring herself to look at her husband. "You're quite sure about this aren't you?" She asked him.
"I wish I could tell you otherwise," he answered, before abruptly standing and also hastily leaving the room.
Malfoy Manor was quiet after that, not the usual quiet that descended when the children were away, but a disturbing quiet. At first she just thought Lucius was brooding over the- admittedly- terrible news. But then it became apparent that he was avoiding her. And when he did speak to her their interactions were so stilted that she was certain even the elves were tiptoeing around their Master and Mistress to avoid the she tried to ask him about it he pretended there was nothing wrong and went so far as to accuse her of being dramatic. Which was just about the final straw for her.
After a week of this behavior Narcissa became truly concerned. It wasn't like him to shut her out for so long. It was much too reminiscent of the first war.
And so she resorted to using tactics that she wasn't entirely proud of: the only place he hadn't been avoiding her was in the bedroom and so when he reached for her at night she turned away from him. She loved him, and after just a few days she missed him terribly, but they were supposed to be in this together, and she wasn't going to allow him to hide in their physical relationship. He was going to have to talk to her.
She'd been a good wife last time. She'd been quiet, and hadn't asked too many questions. She'd done what she could to help and to be there for her husband, but she'd mostly modeled herself after Anneliese's behavior. But she wasn't Anneliese, Lucius hadn't married her because she was like his mother. He liked her fire and her intelligence and liked when she showed it to him. And Lucius was Head of House now. They no longer had to worry about upsetting Abraxas if she behaved in a way that he considered unseemly. She was free to stand at Lucius' side.
But the biggest difference was that while Draco wasn't grown quite yet, he was getting there. He had Hermione now. What he needed from his mother now was different than what he had needed when he'd been growing in her womb or when he'd been a baby. He didn't need her to hide away, he needed her to be strong. And yes, she'd had one morning of total insanity and ruined a lot of their trust in her. But she wouldn't let that undo everything.
Things were still frosty between herself and Lucius the morning of the nineteenth when he departed for Hogwarts for his meeting and to celebrate Hermione's birthday.
"I know you're upset," he told her before he departed. "I'll talk to Draco and Hermione, especially Draco. It's time to put all of this behind us."
She was slightly taken aback. "No, Lucius, let them recover from this in their own time. Pushing them might just push them further away. I'm not going to say it isn't difficult to know that they are upset with me, to read letters that are not as warm as they usually are, but they are not being disrespectful or cruel, so I've made my bed and I'll lie in it. I'll do the work to regain their trust."
He'd looked dubious and had just given her a perfunctory kiss on the cheek before he flooed away.
When he returned that evening he immediately strode into the sitting room where she was waiting and over to the liquor cart. He poured a generous amount of Brandy into a glass and tossed it back in one gulp.
Narcissa watched in alarm. "Are they unwell?"
"They are fine."
"What's the matter then?"
"I made a misstep with Draco. I apologize, I should have listened to you. I just wanted to make you feel better, I thought if things improved with Draco and Hermione then things would go back to normal with us as well."
Narcissa was momentarily stunned, and then she scoffed. "You think this," she gestured between the two of them, "is about Draco and Hermione's attitude?"
"Isn't it?"
"Of course not! As I said, I accept that it will take some time to rebuild our trust."
"Then why have you...withdrawn?"
She just stared at him incredulously. "You're the one who withdrew," she said slowly, enunciating her words carefully.
"You won't let me anywhere near you!" He snapped
"Because you won't talk to me!"
That brought him up short. "What?"
"We haven't had a real conversation since the day we discovered that the diary is a horcrux. You got up from the breakfast table the next morning and you have been avoiding me ever since."
He opened his mouth and shut it again.
"This can't be like the first war, Lucius," she continued, "I'll lose my mind. You can't turn in on yourself and then just use me to forget your problems."
His mouth remained open and his complexion was rapidly reddening. "I would never!" He hissed.
She held up a hand. "I'm sorry, I did not mean that the way it sounded. But the last time you shut me out and the only kind of intimacy we shared for months at a time was physical. I always knew that you loved me, you weren't using me in that sense, but it wasn't enough, you and I both know it almost tore us apart. And I just saw it happening again. I asked you, and asked you, and asked you, and you acted like I was crazy for even believing there was something wrong. The only way I could think to get your attention since you weren't listening to what I was saying, was deny you that physical intimacy. But I see you misinterpreted that completely," she let out a breath and collapsed in defeat.
"Cissa, I-"
But she wasn't done. "I'm frightened Lucius, all of this frightens me, but I think it would be unbearable without you. Please don't do that to me," she looked up at him with pleading eyes.
"I only wanted to spare you."
"And don't you think I would spare you, if I could?" She countered, but continued before he could reply. "But that's not how this is going to work. Not this time."
He set his drink down, sank onto the sofa next to her and began to rub his temples.
"I know the idea of there being more than one horcrux is...disconcerting," it took all of her restraint not to wince as she said the word.
"It is," he agreed, "but I have some ideas about that."
"You do?" She questioned, and tried not to feel resentful that he hadn't shared this with her before as it was a problem that she'd been worrying herself sick over, but he was finally confiding in her and she didn't want him to stop.
"That journal was once one part of a whole, Narcissa. Technically, we should be able to use it to locate...any other pieces, if they do exist," he explained, his disgust at the very concept was clear in his demeanour.
"That's brilliant," she responded, feeling a little flabbergasted. Her husband was a powerful wizard, but he'd filled his days since they'd graduated from Hogwarts with House business. She knew that he was an astute politician and a clever businessman, but sometimes she forgot how smart he actually was.
"But that is not what has me so out of sorts," he confessed. "It's not what I despaired telling you."
"Then what?"
He glanced at her and took her hand. "Surely you must have suspected that there is something unnatural about the Potter boy's connection to the Dark Lord?"
Narcissa's breath caught in her chest as she recalled the letter from Hermione describing a dream the boy had had over the summer that had seemed more vision than anything else. And then, of course, there was the fact that his scar reacted to the Dark Lord's presence.
"What are you saying Lucius?" She asked in a hushed whisper, afraid of what he might be about to tell her and the possibility that even the elves might overhear.
"I think you know," he said, but he could only look at her out of the corner of his eyes.
"He's just a boy!" She couldn't help but exclaim.
Lucius set his jaw and she knew that he was decided. "And one day he won't be. And then, if he's what stands between our children and a free and happy life, I'll do what I must."
Narcissa gripped the edges of the sofa cushions with her free hand as she absorbed his words, her heart thudding in her chest, her breathing erratic. She was a mother, before anything else, and her entire being rebelled against her own husband's assertion. "I'll find a different way," she vowed.
Lucius gave her a curt nod. "I hope that you can, but if it's between him and them, I won't hesitate."
Her stomach roiled, but as much as she wanted to, she couldn't argue with him.
00000000000
Inexplicably the Goblet of Fire flamed for a fourth time and yet another piece of parchment flew into Dumbledore's hand.
"Harry Potter," their headmaster's voice reverberated through the silent hall.
Hermione's heart lodged itself in her throat and she glanced at her best friend. Her best Gryffindor friend. She couldn't chance a look at Draco even though that was her first instinct in such an emotionally charged moment, but they were in the middle of the Great Hall, and everybody was looking in her direction because she was seated beside Harry.
She should have known. Her friend attracted trouble the likes of which she'd never seen before. He'd faced the darkest wizard their world had encountered in a millenium on more than one occasion. Then there had been the Dementors. There had been a Death Eater living in animagus form in his dorm room for the first two full years of his time at Hogwarts. And, of more than a hundred-thousand people at the World Cup, his wand had been the one stolen and used to cast the Dark Mark. The Tri-Wizard Cup had probably acted as some sort of terrible magnet for the boy-who-just-wanted-to-be-normal.
She glanced at Harry and he looked gobsmacked. She grabbed his hand. He was absolutely frozen, and she was furious.
"Go!" She encouraged even as she hated to say it.
His eyes were wide and he was swallowing convulsively. He was obviously terrified.
"I'll wait for you after, but we need to know what's going on. Now, go, everybody's waiting." She gestured to the hall, which had gone absolutely silent around them and shoved at him. "We'll figure this out." She leaned into him and whispered: "Don't let them see you as weak." She felt his spine go straight and he rose from the table and mechanically made his way towards the head table.
She hated that she hadn't had more opportunity to reassure him, but they needed backup, and the opportunity to call for it. Making a fuss now would only make them look like unruly children and would undermine anything they did later.
When the student body was finally excused she tried to get Ron's attention, but one look at his face told her that she would be garnering no assistance from that quarter. He'd obviously let his irrational resentment and jealousy take over, it was simultaneously shocking and unsurprising that he so badly misunderstood Harry to think that he would have ever entered himself into this silly tournament.
She pushed through the crowd and made her way to the Entrance Hall when she heard a familiar voice.
"Granger, Granger!"
She stopped in her tracks, took a moment to gather herself and put her game face on before turning to face her boyfriend.
What she saw when she did almost made her flinch. He was in many ways unrecognizable to her. His eyes were hard and there was a sneer on his face; it had been a long time since she'd seen that expression directed at her. But if he was approaching her in this manner it was important and she needed to play her part, not turn into an emotional mess, no matter how on edge she was feeling.
"What do you want Malfoy?"
"I just wanted to make sure you were scurrying off to inform Lord Black about the travesty that just occurred in there with his godson," he gestured vaguely to the Great Hall.
"What do you care about Harry?" She scoffed.
He laughed, it was cold and derisive and nothing like her Draco. "You misunderstand me, I just don't want to see Hogwarts humiliated by having such a mediocre wizard participate in the tournament, and I trust that Lord Black can help remedy the situation. I'll certainly be speaking with my father," his voice was haughty but his eyes had turned pleading- he was actually frightened, for Harry or for them all, she couldn't be sure and didn't have time to decipher his motives at the moment.
Hermione felt her heart rate increase. "Well thanks for the advice, Malfoy, but all you've done is hold me up." And with that she spun on her heel and made her way towards Gryffindor Tower.
She waited down the corridor from the Fat Lady's portrait for Harry in an out of the way corner where she was certain not to miss him but where she also wouldn't be easily found and shooed back to her dorm. She wanted be sure to catch him before he walked into the raucous party she could hear going on in the Gryffindor common room celebrating him being chosen as Champion. He'd be mortified, and she'd never get a moment alone with him.
When he appeared in the corridor approaching the entrance to Gryffindor Tower she emerged from the shadows. He seemed only momentarily surprised to see her before that turned to obvious relief. She held her arms out so that he knew what she was about to do and engulfed him in an embrace. He melted into her gratefully.
"Where's Ron?" He questioned.
She winced but didn't attempt to sugar coat it, by the look in his eyes he'd already guessed the answer. "He's not happy about this," she explained simply. "You know him and his temper though, he'll get over it." She rubbed his arm supportively and tried to give him an encouraging smile, though she wasn't certain that she believed her own words.
"Right," he said, once again straightening his spine like he was preparing to ward off further attack, her heart sank.
She wondered at the strength it must be taking for him to hold himself together.
"So, what happened?" She asked hesitantly.
He gave her a tight smile but immediately began to explain what had occurred in the meeting with the Champions, their headmasters, and the Ministry officials, and she felt herself growing steadily more angry the longer he spoke.
They were planning to force him to compete?
They weren't even going to give him any support?
She took a deep breath and reminded herself that she had a plan. "Where's your cloak and your mirror?" She inquired. "We need to tell Sirius about this immediately, your mirror is much quicker than an owl," she clarified with a smirk, "it's all well and good to treat a fourth year like this, but I'd like to see them tell Lord Black that his underaged godson has to participate in a dangerous tournament which he didn't even enter!"
He lifted his head and she saw something like hope ignite in his eyes, but it was immediately shrouded by doubt.
"You don't think Sirius is going to take this lying down, do you?" She said with her hands on her hips. She sighed when he continued to look dubious. "Harry, I know that you're not really used to having adults who will stick up for you, but I'm absolutely positive he's going to be furious."
He shrugged self consciously. "The mirror and cloak are in my trunk," he said, instead of really responding to her assertion.
She allowed him the obfuscation. "That's fine, I'll just pop up and get them, hardly anybody will pay attention to me."
He gazed at her steadily and then suddenly engulfed her in a hug. "Thank you Hermione."
She huffed against his shoulder. "Of course, you don't need to thank me for being your friend."
He just shrugged again.
She left him with an easy smile and snuck down the corridor towards Gryffindor Tower.
Sirius was, as Hermione predicted, livid. He swore that he believed Harry right away without needing any explanation or proof, and it had been a balm to Hermione's soul to feel her friend relax against her side in relief as his godfather said as much. He also promised to do everything he could to get Harry out of the tournament. Hermione didn't miss the fact that he'd made no guarantees, and she couldn't blame him for not making promises he couldn't necessarily keep. He'd just gained Harry's trust, he wouldn't want to lose it now. But the fact that Sirius wasn't certain he would actually be able to change the situation ratcheded Hermione's worry up several more notches. Lord Black was a powerful figure in their society, his wishes could go a long way, but would it be enough?
She practically stumbled into her room and onto her bed later that night, stripping herself of everything but a camisole and knickers; she couldn't be bothered with nightclothes.
"Draco," she said tiredly to her mirror when she was finally settled underneath the covers, it was late but he answered immediately.
"Are you okay?" He asked in a rush, as opposed to a more standard greeting.
"Of course I'm not," she admitted, falling back against her pillows.
"I've already written Mother and Father, they'll do what they can," he assured her.
"Thank you," she said quietly.
"Hermione, look at me," his voice was suddenly stern.
Immediately she lifted her eyes to meet his, unaware that she'd been avoiding his gaze. "Hi," she sighed, feeling foolish for avoiding him.
"Are you mad at me about earlier?" He wondered.
"What?! No, not at all, I'm just sad and scared, though I am curious why you thought that little confrontation was necessary?" She peered at him inquisitively.
He smiled fondly. "I know you Mia. You might have spent the whole night rubbing Potter's back and telling him everything would be okay, but I wanted to make sure you got in touch with Sirius. He's Potter's best chance."
She ignored his commentary about her sentimentality. "So you don't think Harry entered himself in the tournament? Everybody else seems to."
He snorted. "I know he's your friend, but Potter is neither clever nor powerful enough to fool Dumbledore's age line and a powerful magical artefact. Plus, you've made a pretty good case over the years that he actually hates attention, so this is the last thing he would try. And even if he had, he has no business in this tournament, he's our age, he'll get himself killed."
"You don't think it's a coincidence either, do you?" She asked, halfway hoping he would contradict her.
"You mean after what happened at the World Cup?" He clarified and she could only nod. "I'm not stupid, of course I don't think it is," he responded, "and neither do you."
There was no use denying it. "I'm scared," she confessed.
"Me too," he nodded.
Her eyes fell shut, she knew what it must have taken him to admit that, even to her. There were several minutes of silence and she just listened to the reassuring sound of his breathing. "Get to breakfast early tomorrow, though," she smirked, attempting to lighten the mood, "I think Lord Black intends to make an entrance."
He chuckled. "Well that sounds like fun, I will definitely be there."
Hermione yawned.
"Go to sleep," Draco urged gently.
"Okay," she nodded, "I love you."
"Me too, always. Goodnight Hermione."
She barely managed to snap her compact closed before she drifted off, comforted by the love she could feel coming from him even from all the way down in the dungeons.
Author's note: Thank you guys, it's such a joy to post this story because I always get such a lovely response. To the people I recently "met" on the Strictly Dramione Facebook group, hello again! Thanks for your enthusiasm, y'all made my night/morning and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Beta love to Weestarmeggie who is my lifeline and puts up with so much, you guys don't even know! And finally, as always, thanks for reading!