No Want, No Hunger, No Shame

dialogue – thoughts

"dialogue" – speaking

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Chapter 15

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Feeling her heart flutter strangely, Meryl attempted to cover up her surprised start by stirring her tea. Quickly, she turned away from him, avoiding eye contact as though she hadn't even heard his last words.

Frowning, she hoped he didn't catch her surprise, "I have no idea what you are talking about." She stated firmly, and set about replacing her sugar and cream to their respective spots.

Meryl didn't miss the inquisitive look Vash was sending her. Mixed with suspicion, his eyes were narrowed.

It only proved to make her even more nervous than she already was. Milly had always told her she had never been a very good liar…

The blonde pursed his lips, and arched an eyebrow at the woman's back, "No, no, I just thought I saw something…" he struggled to keep his voice calm, grips of doubt closing in on him.

Meryl swallowed inaudibly, feeling her muscles tensing slightly.

He new…

That was when she suddenly found herself wondering why she was trying to hide it.

"What are you babbling on about, broom head?" she snatched up her cup of tea and turned to Vash with a mask of annoyance plastered firmly in place.

Now that I've gone and denied it, there's nothing left to do but keep up appearances… her mind told her as though disapproving. Angrily, she glared up at the half-blood, keeping a peeved across her face.

Vash stood there for a moment, his mind in a jumble, staring in confusion at the petite woman before him. He didn't quite understand it…

What's going on here?? he asked himself, observing the woman closely, trying to find a crack in her façade. He knew she was lying.

Meryl herself was beginning to feel quite unnerved with the way Vash was staring at her, and she fought resiliently for control over her shaking hands.

What the hell is he doing?? her mind was beginning to panic.

The petite woman swallowed again before averting her eyes from the vampire to her tea. Small waves, the result of her trembling hands, were forming on the surface of the drink, and Meryl occupied herself with taking a sip. She clutched the cup fiercely, steadying it before her tea ended up on her floor.

All too quickly, her stomach felt tight, and it churned almost painfully inside of her. Catching her breath, she fought down her feeling of nausea lest Vash sense something. Doughtily, she managed to restore her glare and glance back up at the man, her lips curled down in a slight frown.

But what she saw startled her, and she fought to stay on the spot instead of backing away.

Vash narrowed his eyes at Meryl, took one step forward, and faced her with a distrustful glare on his face.

Startled, the petite woman stumbled slightly, breaking her hardiness and stepping back from the man. Vainly, she struggled to hold onto what remained of her earlier mask, all the while slowly backing up from the vampire.

His voice froze in her tracks, though.

"Stop-right-there."

The next moment, Vash was pointing at her, his voice accusing, and Meryl couldn't help but let her surprise show.

She halted abruptly, the cup of tea now shaking uncontrollably in her hands, spilling over the edge of the mug onto her fingers. For a moment, she thought she would end up dropping the mug, but she constricted her nerveless grip and watched at the half-blood stepped up to her.

Stuttering slightly, the petite woman eyed the man warily, "W-what are you d-doing??" the words come out a bit too quick for her taste, but Meryl prided herself for not panicking.

Vash arched an eyebrow at Meryl, leaning down slightly and reaching a hand towards her. He said nothing, and was contented to stare into her eyes.

Blinking rapidly, the petite woman stood stone stiff, the cup rattling within her fingers. Head unmoving, her eyes followed Vash's movements as he reached forward a hand. Abruptly, she thought for a moment that he was about to pat her cheek or perform some other odd gesture, but when his hand landed on her shoulder and pulled her around she felt defeat and had to fight against the urge to pull away.

The raw, bruising K engraved into the back of her neck was in full view of the vampire.

She waited, her back to Vash, as the tense air around her almost stifled her, choked and pressed down upon her. It was unbearable, but broken as Vash almost gingerly traced the outline of the K on her neck.

It was almost a ghost of a touch, a tickling sensation that that sent the hairs on the back of her neck on end.

And then he had turned her again, his hand on her petite shoulders, pulling her back to face him.

But Meryl didn't want to look at him, she felt too ashamed, too mortified for keeping the mark from everyone around her.

Slowly, her head turned, her eyes sliding off to the side as if trying to catch of the K. It was just away to avoid the man's eyes. The petite woman was prevented from turning even further, however, when Vash's hand came up to grasp her chin, turning it forcefully back into place. One was still on her shoulder, keeping her firmly in place.

Meryl could feel her stomach doing flip-flops, churning almost painfully in a way that made her feel slightly nauseous and lightheaded.

She was facing Vash fully now, his eyes searching hers as if trying to decipher some hidden secret.

Gulping, Meryl tried to pry her own eyes from his face, but was further frozen when his voice, just above a whisper, found her ears.

"Look at me…"

He sounded like a doctor observing a patient, but Meryl quickly obeyed, her legs shaking nervously.

Satisfied, he let his hand fall from her chin, instead reaching around to touch the K. Meryl twitched, feeling anything but comfortable, but stayed in place, the half-blood's eyes nailing her to the spot.

And then, there was a sharp, horrible pain in her neck as Vash pressed down on her wound.

He probably hadn't meant to hurt her, but the petite woman had to smother a yelp. Quickly, she tore away from his hold, spilling her tea, but sparing one hand to clap over the wound. It was stinging, burning horribly under her fingers. Wincing, blinking down her tears and trying to force away the pain, Meryl could only concentrate on the light, tingling sensation spreading up her neck.

She almost cried out when she realized what it was, but instead deposited her tea on the counter lest her nerveless grip slip from the handle.

Her wound was reopening, and she could feel the blood slowly oozing forth from the K, seeping through her fingers.

Swallowing thickly, the petite woman glanced at Vash, who was still watching her, his face unreadable.

She hated it, but resisted the urge to take her pain out on the man.

It wouldn't have made a difference, anyway, for the next moment a feeling of heat came, as though she was standing too close to a fire, the hairs on her neck were burning away. It only intensified as the moments ticked by, and it felt as though Meryl's skin was melting away.

Fortunately, that seemed to be all Vash needed, he withdrew his gaze from her, straightening up. Almost instantly, Meryl felt the pain seep away as his eyes left her, the only feeling left the tickling of blood oozing forth. However, that didn't mean he was done, and he turned to her again, his face taught.

Aqua eyes hard, boring into her smoky grey ones, Meryl quashed the sudden hollow feeling in her chest, preferring to glance away, completely speechless.

His next words were quiet, but she could hear him perfectly, "Do you know what that is?" he asked quietly, his face sombre.

Mutely, Meryl shook her head, shying away from the look she was receiving. Her shame increased ten fold, and she wanted nothing more than to crawl away and hide from Vash.

She wished none of this had ever happened. She wished she had never met him that night, while she was going to Nick's.

But Vash was speaking again, and he raised bloodied fingers to show the woman, "This," he rubbed his index and thumb together, "is your blood."

Meryl stayed silent, letting her hand fall to her sides, a look of disgrace marring her features.

"And it will draw every vampire in London to you until you are dead." He said it so matter-of-factly that Meryl felt her insides freeze up quite suddenly.

Then, walking past the stunned woman, he went to the sink and turned on the water. Carefully, he rinsed the blood from his hands.

Meryl turned suddenly, snatching up her discarded tea from the counter. And then, in one quick movement, she stepped up beside the vampire and deposited the rest of her drink down the drain. She felt too sick to drink anything anymore. She felt to sick to speak.

As Vash turned from the sink, she slowly pulled open a drawer, taking out a cloth and wetting the material while rinsing the blood from her hands. Cutting the water, she placed it to the back of her neck. It was the only thing she could do to settle her stomach.

"How long have you had it?" Vash asked then, taking a seat at her table.

Avoiding his eyes, Meryl slowly took the seat opposite him, "Over a week." She answered dully, eyes glued to the wood grain of her table.

It was strange, he didn't seem angry, not like he had before.

Sighing, he propped his head up in one elbow, his tousled hair falling in his eyes, "When did you get it?"

Meryl turned slightly, watching him silently. He looked beaten, tired and worn out. A small frown was on his lips.

She cleared her throat slightly, almost embarrassed at her answer, "At the marketplace," she replied, "when I was following you."

Starting slightly, Vash turned, meeting her eyes, "You were following me??" he asked disbelievingly.

Meryl opened her mouth to confirm his statement, but she was interrupted as he fired off another question.

"Why??"

Taken aback, the petite woman's eyes widened considerably. Was she really supposed to answer that?? Could she possibly tell him of her dreams, her nightmares that plagued her night after night?? The ones that seemed to be ever changing, adding more on every time she experience one?

Shaking off the thought, she lied between her teeth, "I…I don't know."

I sensed something strange about you, that's why. she answered mentally, I figured you could tell me why I was having strange dreams and why I felt they were connected to you…

So why the hell wasn't she telling him about them? Why was she lying again??

Vash stood up abruptly, slamming his hands upon the hard oak of the table. He turned a glare upon the petite woman, who was startled enough as it is without him scowling at her.

And people said she had sudden mood swings!

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Vash stated finally, "We're going to see Wolfwood and Milly."

Blinking in confusion, Meryl's eyebrows shot up, "But they are coming back over around noon, anyway!"

The half-blood turned, clearly to leave, "This can't wait until then."

He started towards the hallway, but Meryl shot up from her seat, holding a hand out as if to stop him.

"Wait!" she shouted, and she watched at he turned, his profile to her, and she shot off what her mind was aching to know, "But what do you know? Who is doing this?? Who gave it to me?? I need to know!" she was frantic now, and was afraid Vash wouldn't tell her.

Slowly, the blonde turned to her, and she dropped her hand limply to the table. She waited for an answer, watching his trouble face closely.

Then, switching his bright eyes onto her, Vash sighed, "Who else but Knives himself?" he said, and spun around, exiting the kitchen without another word or glance.

That was it…

Meryl was left alone with her thoughts. The claws of fear gripped her insides like a vice, and she felt completely hopeless to the world. She had never felt so small in her whole life. When had she found herself so small, so powerless to the events going on around her?

Knives…

That was all her mind could say.

Knives…

Knives, the man who held control over every vampire eve to come to this world…

Knives wanted her dead…

Collapsing back into her chair, Meryl buried her face in her hands.

But no sobs came forth.

She didn't feel like crying.

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Let me know what you think!

--Cayenne Pepper Powder