Chapter 35

Hermione paced up and down the length of the solarium at Potter House and couldn't help but glance in the direction of the Potter ritual circle, despite the fact that she knew she wouldn't be able to see anything. She had been a nervous wreck for weeks, hardly even able to enjoy the extra time with Draco because it had meant that Harry was shutting her out.

He hadn't been cruel, just quiet and withdrawn, and occasionally she'd caught him looking at her like he was trying to figure her out. Everybody else danced around them, apparently the rift in their usually rock solid friendship was distressing- or at least disconcerting- to their classmates and nobody seemed to want to jump into the middle of it.

They'd left Hogwarts five days before for the Easter holidays, but Sirius had wanted to wait until the optimal time of the lunar cycle to try the ritual. He was rather more closely acquainted with such things than most wizards due to all his years of friendship with Remus.

She, Draco, and Harry had all been ordered home for Easter via owl post just the day after Harry had caught her snogging Draco. She assumed that she and Draco had been summoned back to be thoroughly chastised for their carelessness. But when she learned that Harry had been called home by Sirius, she suspected that there might have been more to it.

In the end her parents, as well as Lucius and Narcissa, had been surprisingly lenient. They'd basically just been given a stern talking to about following school rules but she wasn't convinced either set of parents really had their hearts in it. And then they'd been seperated and thoroughly educated on the contraceptive charm and potion 'just in case.' Hermione and Draco had a good laugh later about the stark differences between those conversations and the first one they'd had with his parents about sex, and they wondered if the adults were truly coming to terms with the fact that they were growing up, or if they just thought it was better to be safe than sorry.

After that she'd spent most of those five days nervously stomping around Malfoy Manor while her parents worked. Even now, she wasn't convinced that she was doing any real good. She was just here as a last resort to seek help if it was needed because there really wasn't anybody else to perform the task. Harry had grudgingly allowed her into his house, to be the lookout for something which had only been peripherally explained to them both. And Hermione appreciated the fact that he at least continued to trust her that much.

Sirius and Harry had begun the ritual at midnight and it was only ten past. Hermione felt like it had been ten hours instead.

She'd just turned on her heel to start another lap when she heard an inhuman scream rent the air. She had to grab the top of an armchair to keep herself from running outside towards it, she'd promised that she wouldn't interfere unless the crystal Sirius had charmed to let her know if things went catastrophically wrong activated.

She stood there, frozen in terror, gazing at the crystal- which remained dormant- until a grim Patronus came streaming into the room

"Success Kitten, but I need you to come help me get Harry into the house." Sirius sounded exhausted but pleased.

Hermione took off at a run. She'd been to the circle only once, the day before when they'd been making preparations, and at the time it had given her even more hope that the ritual would succeed. The space had felt sacred even to her and she wasn't a Potter. But now she was just afraid, despite what Sirius said. She needed to see it with her own eyes.

As she approached the space she could feel the recently expelled magic lingering in the air and the wooded area around it looked like it had been hit by a hurricane. She picked up her pace. But when they finally came into view she nearly stopped in her tracks. Sirius was kneeling on the ground with Harry's head on his lap and Hermione couldn't hold back a scream at the sight of her friend; he was unconscious and covered in blood.

Sirius immediately raised his hands in a conciliatory gesture. "He's fine, he's fine. He's just exhausted and I don't trust my magic enough to levitate him right now, so I need you to do it."

"Sirius, he's covered in blood," she answered with a concerted effort to hold her temper.

"It's from his scar, it's superficial, head wounds bleed a lot."

Hermione took in a couple of long breaths and nodded absentmindedly. "Okay," she said, but her voice trembled and she continued to approach them cautiously.

Sirius attempted to give her a reassuring smile but it was fairly clear that he, too, was exhausted. "Let's get him inside and cleaned up. You're not too shaken up to do it are you?"

"No, no, you did all the work, I'm fine." She pulled her wand from its holster and used it to carefully pick Harry up and begin guiding him towards the house where they got him settled in his room. Sirius instructed her on cleaning him up, and then they settled in to wait for him to wake up.

Three days later they were still waiting.

They sat with him in shifts, Hermione returned home only to sleep. And she had watched in fascination as- once it was clean, over the course of the first day Harry's scar almost completely disappeared. She couldn't wait to see his reaction to that, he hated that scar.

Draco stopped by a few times, but for the most part it was just her and Sirius holding vigil over Harry's bed, and the only reason Hermione didn't begin to panic as day turned to night yet again was because Sirius was so upbeat.

She was curled up in an armchair with a book the evening of the third day, Padfoot stretched out on the bed beside Harry with Holly on his chest, when all of a sudden she heard Holly hiss, and then Harry responded. She was frozen until she heard a murmur of her name.

"Mione?"

There had been a time that she hated it when anybody shortened her name, it just seemed lazy. But over the years the diminutive had become Harry's preferred way to show affection for her, something which he was generally uncomfortable displaying in other ways, and so she'd become fond of it. And she hadn't heard it in almost two months.

"Harry!" She exclaimed, leaping from the chair and just stopping herself from actually jumping on top of him, instead wedging herself onto the mattress beside him. Padfoot yawned and stretched and in the blink of an eye, Sirius was sitting cross-legged on the bed on Harry's other side.

"How are you feeling, Pup?" He asked.

Harry blinked at them. "Really good actually, a little stiff but everything is so much clearer now."

"Oh!" Hermione squeaked, "the ritual improved your eyesight too? Is that how you knew it was me?"

He chuckled. "Oh no, you're as blurry as ever, but I'd know that hair anywhere."

She shoved him gently and plucked his glasses off of the bedside table and handed them to him.

He put them on, blinked, obviously allowing his eyes to adjust, and smiled at her. "But no, I meant my brain just feels a lot clearer...somehow."

Hermione grinned at Sirius. "It really did work, didn't it?"

"I told you," he rolled his eyes in her direction. "All the diagnostics said it did and if you'd been there you wouldn't have doubted."

Harry maneuvered himself into a sitting position. "I'd like to hear all the things you promised to tell me if the ritual worked now," Harry looked back and forth between them expectantly.

Sirius nodded. "I assumed as much, but you're going to eat while we talk," he ordered.

Harry smiled gamely. "Now that you say that, I'm famished," he rubbed his hands together with clear anticipation.

"The nutrient potions we've been spelling into you keep you sustained but they're nothing compared to a good meal," Sirius explained. "Pippen!" He called.

The elf popped into the room immediately and did a double take at the sight of Harry sitting up in bed. "Master Harry is awake! May Pippen be bringing him the soup and bread we have prepared for him?"

"You read my mind, Pippen," Sirius answered. "That's exactly what I was hoping."

"Thank you Pippen," Harry echoed, smoothing the bedclothes over his lap.

The elf smiled broadly, popped away, and within a matter of moments Harry had a tray of hearty vegetable soup and rich bread, along with a generous helping of butter on the side and a drink which Hermione recognized as an elfin restorative potion- something that she knew spoke a great deal about the Potter elves respect for Harry to have shared it with him. When Draco had lost control of his magic because of his grandmother's actions over the Yule holiday, the Malfoy elves had brought him one as well, but they'd known him his whole life.

"Start talking," Harry ordered as he dipped some of the bread into his soup. "The more I think about it, the more I realize that things are not adding up."

"Well, you had something messing with your head, lad," Sirius answered and Hermione almost felt like she needed to look away at the tender way he ruffled Harry's hair, "which is why we couldn't have this conversation before."

Sirius looked at Hermione and she nodded.

They'd agreed that the best way to tell this story was from the beginning, and she was the one best equipped to do that. So, she opened her mouth and began to tell her best friend about the day she ran into Draco Malfoy in a bookshop and what a life changing event that had been.

Lucius and Narcissa had agreed that she could tell him everything, but out of respect for them she left out some of the more personal details. Harry didn't need to know the inner workings of the Malfoy family dynamics, or some of the sensitive issues in their pasts- though she obviously couldn't skirt the topic of Lucius having been a Death Eater. Which was also one issue that Harry couldn't seem to get past. Not something that was entirely unexpected or unreasonable, especially given his history.

"But Malfoy Senior is a Death Eater, Hermione, how can you be okay with that. Stay at his house, eat at the same table as him?" Harry asked when Hermione finally ran out of things to tell him.

She took a deep breath and tried to figure out how to explain it to him, quickly realizing this wasn't a matter of logic, she could only tell him how she felt.

"Because he's not a Death Eater to me, he's just Lucius. He's like a second father and I love him."

"And he's really okay with a muggleborn in the family?" Harry asked dubiously, looking at her like maybe she wasn't quite as smart as he'd always believed- which chafed, but she kept her temper, he was entitled to his doubts.

"I mean, he was reticent at first, but for most of the time I've known him, he's treated me like a daughter. I've had rooms at Malfoy Manor since the summer after our first year. He buys me presents when he's out of town on business and sends me treats when I'm at school. He sits with me when I have cramps, for Merlin's sake!"

Harry made a face at that and she had to resist the urge to roll her eyes.

"What do you think?" He turned to Sirius, who literally snorted.

"I think he's an arrogant arsehole whose willing to do just about anything in any situation to get what he wants, hardly cares about anybody outside of his family except to figure out how to use them for his own purposes, and I often have to resist the urge to punch him in the face," he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "But I have to admit that he seems willing to do something incredibly brave, and if he goes through with it he will probably be essential in defeating You Know Who. So, I tolerate him. Also, I have a lot of respect for Kitten here, and Draco as well, and even Narcissa, and he's important to them all, so I try not to harp on about how much I dislike him personally. But nobody's going to try to tell you that you have to be okay with what he is or what he's done."

Harry seemed to absorb that as he nodded to himself slowly.

"What about Dumbledore? Why hasn't he been told any of this, he's the leader of the light, right?"

"Because when it comes down to it, the Malfoys don't trust him."

"And you?" Harry prodded Sirius, who ran a hand through his hair again and then plucked a leather band from the opposite bedside table to tie it back.

"Well, as you now know, the vows they placed me under keep me from revealing their secrets without their permission. So, I couldn't, even if I wanted to. But when it comes down to it, I think they're smart to play things close to the chest. Personally, I'm not sure I trust Dumbledore, I was a member of his Order during the first war and yet I was sent to Azkaban without a trial. He'll be told eventually, when he becomes necessary. A spy is useless if he doesn't have anybody to pass his information to. But I'm comfortable leaving him out until then. "

"Okay, but what about people you do trust. Moony, Andromeda and her family, she's Mrs. Malfoy's sister, couldn't they help?"

"I trust Moony with my life, and he would never betray us voluntarily, but an unfortunate side effect of his lycanthropy is that he is susceptible to manipulation from his sire. And his sire is the most notoriously brutal werewolf in Britain who also has a long history of associations with You Know Who. That's the reason we thought Remus was the spy during the last war. When he started parleying with the packs we assumed Greyback had gotten his hands on him and compromised him. So, as much as I hate keeping secrets from him, even if the Malfoys agreed, I wouldn't burden him with this knowledge, and he would agree with that decision."

"Oh," said Harry, "that sucks."

"Being a werewolf is a bitch," Sirius nodded. "As for Andromeda, Ted and Tonks. Well, Narcissa wants to keep her sister as far away from all of this as possible, and I respect that. And Tonks is an auror, knowing any of this would put her in a terrible position. What Lucius is doing, and especially what he plans to do in the future, isn't exactly legal. And then there's the simple fact that the more people who know a secret, the greater the chances that it will come out. This knowledge is a burden Harry, and as much as I've wanted everything to be out in the open, I also dreaded doing this to you."

Harry looked back and forth between them. "But I have you two to talk to."

"Of course you do," responded Sirius, clapping him on the shoulder.

"And Draco, and even Lucius and Narcissa, if you like," added Hermione. She was aware that she being stupidly optimistic about the way things would be post confession. She knew deep down that she couldn't really expect Harry to accept it all right away, or maybe ever, but she longed for him to.

Harry rolled his eyes dramatically.

Hermione sighed, though perhaps she she shouldn't have let her impatience show so easily, but she'd been waiting months- years really- for this day. "You get that Draco is my boyfriend, right?" She asked as gently as she could manage. "And that he's about to become my betrothed- we're getting married Harry. You're going to have to learn to tolerate him eventually if you still want to be my friend."

Hermione suspected, that if Harry could get past their history- as Draco, for the most part, already had- that the two could be good friends. They actually had a lot in common: both training to become Head of House in an Ancient and Noble family, both seekers and quidditch lovers, both tended to isolate themselves from their peers and keep their own counsel, and then, of course, there was her.

He blanched at that. "What! Of course I do!" He visibly paused before reaching out and wrapping an arm around her. "I'm sorry I shut you out over the past couple of months. There were a bunch of times that I wanted to reach out, but then I'd just get so mad again even though I know you, and I know you wouldn't purposefully hurt me, it's just not who you are. Like I said, things are much clearer now." He tried to smile at her but it was brittle, and she wasn't sure how to respond.

Finally, she took a deep breath. "You had a right to be upset. I did lie to you. A lot." She brightened as she thought of something that might cheer him up. "But you could train with us now Harry! We've been learning to fight every summer since first year."

She knew she was lucky that Harry hadn't kicked her out of his tournament training. He'd forgiven Sirius for keeping secrets almost immediately, and she got the impression he'd been looking for any excuse to do so, and while part of her had been jealous, she'd mostly just been relieved that she hadn't been responsible for doing lasting damage to their relationship. And he had kept her at arm's length, it had been difficult, but she hadn't blamed him, not really and had just been glad he hadn't shut her out completely.

But she was very excited to start training with him where she didn't have to hold back. She wouldn't have been able to explain some of her skills to him before. Not to mention that she and Draco had different strengths than he did and they could all learn from each other.

"That actually does sound interesting," he admitted. "But I really am sorry, Hermione."

She shook her head vigorously. "In your place I would have been upset too."

There was an uncomfortable pause.

"Is this why you don't like the Weasleys?" Harry asked eventually.

"I like the Weasleys just fine," she defended automatically, though if she was being very honest, she wasn't sure that was entirely true.

Harry cocked his head and considered her for a moment. "Okay, is this why you don't trust them?" He clarified.

She stared at him, part of her wanting to deny it, but she couldn't and he'd obviously noticed more than she'd guessed.

"No," she sighed. "I think they're ultimately good people, but I don't trust them or agree with them about many things."

"Why- because of the Malfoys?"

Hermione tugged on her hair and twisted a curl around her finger in a sure sign she was uncomfortable. "I suppose I don't like their attitudes. I don't like how they fail to appreciate Wizarding customs or how they think about muggles, and yeah I guess the Malfoys helped me see that."

Harry snorted.

"I know how that sounds," she continued, "given what I've just told you about the Malfoys previous views. But I can't just get past the idea that the Weasleys don't know the most basic things about muggle life. Draco has gotten to the point that he can function quite well in the muggle world, and his parents have become at least coherent in the vocabulary, within just a few years. Mr. Weasley is supposed to be the Ministry's expert on muggles, but he can't pronounce the word 'electricity' correctly. I just find them...frustrating."

Harry seemed to consider that. "Okay, yeah, that makes sense, I didn't think of that."

"Again," Sirius interrupted, in a clear attempt to cut to the tension. "You had that thing messing with your head." Hermione nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, about that, what was that exactly?" Harry asked.

Sirius hesitated, and Hermione wondered if he was going to tell them. Lucius and Narcissa had rather deliberately not been specific when they'd told her they had found a ritual to remove the taint from Harry's scar. Only that it was responsible for his connection to the Dark Lord- for the dreams and the visions- and they hoped that pushing it out of his scar using the cleansing and forcing it to make contact with his skin would activate the protection his mother had left him with and destroy it, as it has destroyed Quirrell in their first year.

"I'll tell you, if you really want to know. It's your body. But I'd prefer if you'd just trust me when I say that you're better off not knowing," Sirius said, pulling the tie from his hair and running a hand through it again in a nervous manner.

Harry cut his eyes to Hermione, obviously seeking her opinion.

She shrugged. "I don't know what it was either, and I don't think I want to. I know a little bit about what the Dark Lord is capable of, and...yeah, that's enough. But it's up to you, like Sirius said, it's your body."

"You call him the Dark Lord," he hedged.

"It's what I'm used to hearing. And I use it out of respect for Lucius and Narcissa, the name 'Voldemort' bothers them."

"Merlin this is all so weird," Harry groused, but it had turned somewhat good natured. "So you, like, hang out at Malfoy Manor? I mean, I know what you said, but that's still so weird."

He was smiling at her in an encouraging way and she could only grin at him in return. "Oh Merlin, Harry, the lake is fantastic!" She gushed. "You would love it!

He just shook his head in a disbelieving manner and looked at Sirius. "I'll trust your opinion for now, but will you tell me if I want to know someday?"

"You have my word Harry, you have every right to know, I just want to spare you as much pain as I can."

Harry smiled at him, but it had turned brittle again.

"Alright!" Sirius said in a falsely cheerful voice, "that's enough heavy stuff for tonight! Let's have pudding, I'm starving!"

When she wrapped things up at Potter House- at least for the night- she had a couple of hours before she had to be home to make curfew and so she took her portkey to Malfoy Manor. Jema greeted her when she arrived, informing her that Draco was in his rooms. She made her way upstairs, stopping to greet Lucius and Narcissa who were reading in their sitting room. She informed them that Harry had woken up and then headed towards Draco's suite.

He wasn't in his sitting room so she removed her shoes and padded into his bedroom. He could be a neat freak and had something of an unspoken rule about no shoes near his bed. She found him lounging in the middle of his bed, perusing a quidditch magazine. His eyes lit up when she walked in and he immediately sat up and tossed the magazine aside.

"Hey," he greeted her.

"Hi," she smiled.

"Can I assume this means that Potter is awake?"

She nodded and climbed onto the bed and into his arms.

"And how did it go?" He asked, kissing her forehead.

"As well as could be expected, I think. It's just that Harry tends to see things in black and white and I think he's having a hard time wrapping his head around it all."

"Father?" He questioned.

"I think that will be the hardest thing for him to accept. He looks at him and just sees a Death Eater, and the animosity between him and Sirius won't help things. But, then again, he and your mother are responsible for Sirius' freedom which is obviously a very big deal to him, and now that he knows they weren't coerced into it, well, I don't think he'll forget that."

"Hmmm," he said noncommittally

"And he apologized for being so distant lately."

"Good."

She knew Draco had taken umbrage with the way Harry had treated her after he'd discovered their relationship. And maybe a part of her had also been resentful, but she wasn't going to add fuel to that fire.

They were quiet for a long time, Hermione played with the hem of Draco's shirt.

"I can practically hear you thinking," he said eventually.

"Can we go for a walk by the lake?"

She felt him go still before he relaxed again.

"Sure, is everything okay?" He wondered.

"Yeah, I've just been thinking a lot tonight about us and I wanted to talk to you, but if we just keep laying here I'm afraid I'll fall asleep."

"You know that's a really terrifying thing to say to a wizard."

She giggled, put her arms around his neck and kissed him. "It's nothing bad, I promise."

"Alright," he said, helping her off the bed. They each collected a pair of shoes and made their way outside.

When they reached the lake she let go of his hand, wrapped both of her arms around one of his, and placed her head on his shoulder.

"So what's up?" He asked.

"I told Harry our story tonight."

"Our story," he paused, "that's an interesting way to put it."

She shrugged. "That's what it is though. It was really hard for me to put into words exactly what you are to me. I think he thinks I'm a total sap now."

"Please tell me you portrayed me as very manly and impressive."

Hermione snorted. "Well I didn't tell him that you cried when we went to see 'The Lion King' if that's what you're asking."

"I had something in my eye! That theatre was so dusty!" He defended hotly.

"Sure," she snickered. "Anyway, do you ever think about your life before we became friends?"

"What do you mean?"

"Just- do you ever consider how much our relationship has changed your life? For me it almost feels like my life has been divided into two sections: Before Draco and After Draco. Even finding out I was a witch was less life altering than meeting you. I can imagine going back to living as a muggle, but I can no longer imagine my life without you in it." She looked down at her hands where they were gripping his arm. "Is that, I don't know, pathetic?"

Draco brought them to a halt. "If it is, then I'm pathetic too. Let's sit down." He lowered himself to the ground and after offering her a hand to help her down, settled her between his legs, her back to his chest. "You sound kind of sad. Are you worried about becoming betrothed?"

"What! Oh, no, not at all! I'm sorry, I'm just feeling sentimental."

She reached back and ran her fingers through the hair at the base of his neck, he leaned into her hand and sighed happily. "I love it when you do that."

"I know," she laughed. "You used to be so weird about me touching you, though."

"Yeah, well, my family's not exactly touchy-feely, you know that, so I wasn't used to how casual you were about it. Plus, I liked it a little too much. And at eleven that totally freaked me out."

She turned in his arms so she could see his face. "Seriously?"

"I mean, I'm not sure I would describe it as anything romantic or sexual at first, I was probably a little young for that. I just sort of never wanted you to stop and I didn't know what that meant. You were a witch and a muggleborn and it was all very confusing."

"I- yeah, I get that," Hermione admitted. "What you made me feel from the beginning was very confusing.

"I hated you more than a little at first, and yet I never really could. It was frustrating."

"I could never hate you either, even when part of me wanted to. And as soon as you were even a little nice to me I longed to be your friend, and then before I knew it, you were the most important in the world to me. I hardly even know how it happened."

"You're the most important person in the world to me too," he squeezed her.

They were quiet for awhile, looking out over the water.

"So you still want the betrothal contract? I know it's not what you're used to and we're a little young still…" his hands clenched her waist as he spoke.

"Tomorrow, let's do it tomorrow."

Author's Note: First chapter of the new year, happy 2019! Also, if anybody noticed this and was wondering, that tiny exchange between Holly and Harry when he's first waking up does mean that he's kept his parselmouth abilities. I know that's not canon, I don't care, I like my way better ;) Thanks to weestarmeggie for betaing and listening to me whine, as usual. Thanks to you all for reading!