No Want, No Hunger, No Shame

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Chapter 22

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Nicholas D. Wolfwood liked to call himself a clever guy. He was smart, good looking, he had a nice house and loyal friends…a bad past…the life of preacher to make up for his numerous sins. He was helping rid the world of any evil entities that called themselves vampires, and what he had to show for it was the forgiveness of God and a prayer for his people.

He supposed it was enough. Or, it had been enough.

Dear Lord,

And some things just didn't go away. Some things just didn't want to fade with the passing of time and lives. Sometimes, they stayed and would not stop their constant haunting. They would not be put to rest without force.

If I have wounded any soul today,

If I have put one foot astray

If I have walked in my own will full way

Good Lord, forgive…

Nicholas liked to call himself a clever guy because of the things he had survived and the types of people he had met. Evil, greed. Pure sin. He had once been a part of it all, living with those who enjoyed it and was stuck in the midst of it all. He had learned better, though. They had passed him by, and quite soon, he had been the only one with any sense in him whatsoever. They had been turned and he still stood. Alive.

If I have uttered idle words or vain If I have turned aside from want or pain

Lest myself should suffer through the strain

Good Lord, forgive…

Some time ago, before the life he had the pleasure of living now, Nick had found within himself what he liked to call a conscience, one that any such people, dead or alive, around him, lacked to the fullest. And he had realized his sins, his mistakes and life. And he sought to bury them, to have them forgiven. And he had, or so he had thought.

He had met the two girls, and then everything had come crashing back down on him like a ton of bricks. Mercilessly, hard. Fate was not on his side, he knew. But he helped, anyway. He helped to help himself and rid himself of memories that needed to be smashed and buried.

If I have craved for joys that are not mine

If I have let my wayward heart repine

Dwelling on things of earth, not things Devine

Good Lord, forgive…

And now, look where it had gotten him. Almost back where he had started, back in the same situation. Back in the same bloody place where he had started out, and the only thing he had to show for his hard work was better company. He liked to call himself clever, but he was really a fool, he knew.

Time did not erase old ghosts, he knew. They only delayed the final coming. And he knew. That final coming was soon.

If I have been perverse, or hard, or cold

If I have longed for shelter in Thy fold

When Thou hast given me some part to hold

Good Lord, forgive…

He sat in his living room now, very much in the same position he had been in when his situation had gone from bad to worse. Except the big girl wasn't here now, and shorty was probably off somewhere beating needle noggin over the head. He even had a smoke, just to calm his nerves. They had been on high end the past weeks, and he hadn't found the time to calm himself.

Slowly, Wolfwood crushed his used cigarette in the ashtray by his chair. It smoked in protest, and he pushed the reeking ashtray away. And for a moment, he sat and stared at nothing. His thoughts whirled into one big, tight knot.

And he knew what he had to do, and he stood up from the chair.

At his own pace, trying to delay it's coming, he ascended the stairs up to his room. It was clothed in a thick blanket of darkness, the air dim and smoky from too many cigarettes and not enough from outside.

And there it was, leaning against the wall, covering in buckles and hidden by a sheet.

His redemption.

Forgive the sins I have confessed to Thee

Forgive the secret sins I do not see

That which I know not, Father, teach Thou me

Help me to live…

Wolfwood's shoes clicked on the wooden floor, the only sound in the room besides his own heartbeat. And he approached it, stared at it. And a grim smile came upon his face, and he reached for it. It was lifted from the floor with ease, a buckle tight in his grip, and he swung it over his shoulder with equal effortlessness. This was his final burden before he walked out.

It was a cross, the last piece of him to be buried before he would truly be at peace.

Amen…

--

Meryl watched with a somewhat bored expression as Milly fiddled with a burner on the table. There was a vial held in a clamp, the contents—ones she preferred not to know as opposed to being curious—roasting over a hot flame.

As she had stated before, it was better to leave the chemistry to the chemists.

With her luck, something would only end in a loud explosion and lots of fire. But such was life, and Meryl was not talented in every aspect of life.

"Almost done, sempai." Milly murmured as she watched the vial carefully. The liquid inside seemed to be foaming into a pinkish sort of broth, one that made the petite woman cringe in disgust at the very sight of it. "Once it turns red and reverts back to a more…liquid form, it'll be ready."

Meryl wrinkled her nose at the vial. "How much does that make?" she asked abruptly.

The taller woman seemed to contemplate that question for a moment before she had to pick up the book she had been reading from and scan through the page. After a moment, she announced happily. "Just enough for one dose."

The petite woman must have lacked the intellect to see the sudden cheerfulness of the situation. "Milly, I hope you're prepared to make a whole lot more of this…stuff, then."

Her partner merely turned to her and smiled. It was one of those smiles that somehow managed to light the entire room up, and suddenly make Meryl feel that everything was just right even when it wasn't.

"Sempai, I'm willing to do anything to help, you know that right?" the kind woman announced lightly. "And Mr Vash is a friend, and you are a friend. And I believe we all need help every once in a while."

The petite woman returned Milly's smile. She never knew how she did it, how she managed to cheer people up and speak words of wisdom meant to roll from the lips of people much older than herself. But it was done, and Meryl had no idea what she would do without Milly. And she had never been a really emotional type, so she couldn't very well answer in a half-choked sob, thanking the woman for her help.

Not only would she look weak, she would sound as though her life was running short. Which it was, but she had no intention of going anywhere, really. Nowhere besides ahead in life.

So, instead, "Thanks Milly." She said shortly, offering another smile. "How much longer will this take, though? I don't want to leave broom head alone for too long. My possessions are very precious to me."

Milly turned back to the foaming vial, shaking her head slightly. "Not too much longer, sempai. And I wouldn't worry about Mr Vash. You said so yourself, and I believe it too. He's a good person, really." Her voice was sincere, like it always was.

Meryl sighed. "Really."

--

Less than half an hour after he had left Meryl's house, Vash found himself wandering the crooked streets and dank lanes of London with nothing short of little purpose. A heavy silence seemed to weigh the air down around him, and not even the gun by his side could reassure any fears he had. He could feel the beginnings of uneasy tugging at his insides.

At first, he figured he had lef the house just to spite Meryl and her bossy little ways, but then he realized how incredibly boring it was merely wandering the streets with nothing to do, no purpose, no destination whatsoever. Originally, he had thought he would use his wonder wandering abilities to help the greater good of the people. Such as scaring off any daywalkers happily harassing defenceless citizens and saving a life from the horrors of vampirism. But then he had realized he was in no shape whatsoever to be doing such things, as he would probably end up getting the snot beaten out of him, consequentially resulting in Meryl beating him repeatedly over the head for his stupidity.

Then, he had thought he could go to the priest's house, but soon after realized he had no idea where the man lived. That posed a slight problem, and since he had no wish to visit Milly, having the distinct feeling that Meryl was either there or off at Blueberry Lane staking his fellow people for pay—most likely at Milly's—he quickly discarded that idea.

The third and final thought had been dismissed as well. He had thought he could have gone to Blueberry Lane himself and taught the daywalkers a valuable lesson, but the tugging in the back of his mind telling him that Meryl could be there told him not too. Besides, and as he had found out before, he was too weak to be taking on any more than two bloodsuckers. And they tended to travel in tight knit packs.

So, he had eventually found himself quite lost, quite unoccupied and on the verge of a severe mental breakdown due to the heavy, still, ominous silence encircling him in its clutches. Every nerve end in his body was on edge.

And that was how the misguided priest Wolfwood had found the blonde, standing rather aimlessly in the middle of the street.

The half-blood hadn't noticed him yet, that much was certain. His back was to the priest, and only when Wolfwood stepped on a patch of grime and gravel, his shoes grinding on the stone, did he even give a sign of life. Within the second, Vash had turned with his gun drawn, and said gun was now aimed quite carefully at Wolfwood's head.

He seemed to relax slightly when he realized who it was, however, but didn't lower the weapon. Something about the priest had always set him on edge, anyhow, and his sudden appearance with a huge…cross slung over his back only added to his suspicions.

Wolfwood was the first to speak, as he had a few suspicions of his own. The two men stood in a standoff, eyes clashing with distrust.

"Now, Vash, I've got more than a few questions swimmin' around my head right now, several in fact, but I understand I don't have the time or patience to listen to all the answers right now." The priest announced, and his hand strayed to his pocket, from which he pulled out a cigarette. "One's sticking out more than the others, though, and I find it more important and useful to my purpose. So, you ready to answer without hesitance, needlenoggin, or do I have to blow you to tiny pieces before I get an answer?" he asked casually, lighting the cigarette between his lips with his free hand.

There was a tense, unbearable silence for a moment, but it ended when Vash lowered his shining gun to his side.

Wolfwood nodded to him, inhaling from the cigarette before blowing a cloud of smoke from his lips. "Now, then, Vash. I'm glad to see you're cooperating, and I hope you don't mind if I ask where our little Miss Meryl is. If I didn't know any better, I could've sworn she was with you, but since I don't see her anywhere one has to wonder, right?"

Silently, Vash replaced the gun in its holster, seeming to feel any danger to him was now over. Slowly, he replied. "Last time I saw her she was slamming the front door in my face. About a half hour ago, and if you must know, I'm looking for her right now."

Wolfwood arched and eyebrow in silent scepticism. "Really, somehow I'm doubting you want to be anywhere near her right now." Vash didn't answer, so he continued. "I only know one place Meryl could be right now, and if she's as smart as I think she is, she'll be there."

"Milly's?"

"Yeah." Nodding, Wolfwood started toward the half-blood, who narrowed his eyes in return.

"What are you doing with that huge cross?" Vash asked, suddenly curious and very suspicious. He still wasn't quite sure whether or not he should be trusting the priest. After all, wasn't the Church an enemy of vampires like him?

Wolfwood didn't seem very effected by the question. "It's merely a tool of punishment…from the merciful Lord above."

Snorting, the blonde retorted, "What do you do with it, crucify people?" he asked haughtily as the priest approached him.

Stopping beside the blonde, Wolfwood plucked the cigarette from his lips with his free hand and blew a steady stream of smoke in his direction. "No, I kill vampires with it."

Again, another snort from the blonde as Wolfwood continued past him. "You do know that crosses hardly ever work to repel vampires, right? You being such an expert and all!" he declared loudly in the small lane.

Over his shoulder, Wolfwood called back. "I don't repel them, needlenoggin, I kill them!"

A slightly disturbed look came over Vash's face, and he gave the man's back an incredulous look before running after him. "I thought you were a priest!" he shouted, falling in step beside the darkly clad man.

Wolfwood allowed a flicker of a smile to cross over his face. "Yeah, I'm just a special kind of priest."

--

"Here you are, sempai!" Milly declared happily, handing the vial of red serum, a cork screwed tightly to its top, over to her partner. They both stood in the tall woman's kitchen, and a steaming kettle was whistling merrily on the stove behind them.

Meryl took the vial with relief, and tucked the long vial into her belt for safekeeping. "You have no idea how much I appreciate this, Milly." She said with a smile.

Her partner merely shook her head. "No need for thanks, sempai. I believe in anything that will help you and Vash get along together." She announced jovially, blue eyes bright in the warm atmosphere of the kitchen.

Meryl didn't care to analyze the double meaning of that statement, and she stood for a moment, something tugging gently at the back of her mind. She knew she had been planning to ask Milly for something more, but for the world she couldn't remember…

"Will you stay for tea, sempai?" Milly's voice interrupted her thoughts, and Meryl's head snapped up from the floor where he gaze had rested.

Then she remembered she had wanted to read over that article Vash had mentioned, the one concerning certain vampires… "Ah…no Milly. I don't think that would be such a good idea. I feel I've stayed too long already." Her partner looked somewhat hurt, and the petite woman instantly regretted it. Then again, she mused gently, she did need the newspaper. "Oh…alright Milly. But we'd better make it quick. I don't want to put you in danger or anything of the sort…"

Milly only laughed. "Sempai, I work as a vampire hunter for a living."

"Point taken." Meryl replied with a sigh, and then: "You don't happen to have today's newspaper around, do you?"

The taller woman gave her an odd look, but nodded. "Of course, sempai. Is there anything interesting in it today that I should know about…?"

Meryl knew very well the meaning of her words, but denied them anyway. If her partner knew she wanted to go out hunting for a few pounds, she'd insist on coming. And then something bad would happen, she knew. Meryl didn't want that to happen, and she figured she would be just fine. One hundred silver bullets, remember… her mind teased her languidly.

"I just want to catch up on the news, that's all, Milly. I realize I've been separate from the world for a few days now…" Meryl lied between her teeth, but didn't feel bad. Why should she feel bad about it?

Her partner instantly brightened. "Well, in that case, of course, it's just in the living room on the sofa. I'll get the tea ready and you can read it before you go, okay?"

Meryl smiled. "Of course, Milly."

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--Cayenne Pepper Powder