A/N: Still claiming no ownership of Bones or its characters, nor of the text that opens this chapter. -tc
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"Tell me, I'm begging you, how she came to discover just how much she wanted from him, how she knew what she desired of him."
His eyes returned to hers, with a fixed gaze that was becoming a bit haggard.
"I imagine that one day," he said, "one morning at dawn, she knew suddenly what she wanted of him. Everything became so clear for her that she told him of her desire. There is no explanation, I think, for that kind of discovery."
-Duras, Moderato Cantabile (my translation from the French)
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Seeley Booth opened the door to his apartment and was surprised to find it silent. The lights were on – clearly, his partner and son had returned from their adventure – but there was no low drone of the television, no high-pitched giggles or low, smoky laughter, no clatter of dishes or cacophony of electronic sound effects. Fatherly instincts told him that silence often meant trouble, but he couldn't imagine Temperance letting his son out of her sight long enough to cause any serious damage. So where are they?
Entering the living room, Booth realized why neither was making any noise – one was asleep; the other, deeply engrossed in a book. "Hi, Parker," he whispered.
"Shhh," replied the boy, looking up from a children's encyclopedia of dinosaurs. "Dr. Bones is sleeping."
"I can see that." The anthropologist had clearly been looking over Parker's shoulder at one point, but was now sprawled against the back of the couch, hair spilling down across her face. A blue Thomas the Tank Engine blanket, normally folded on the arm of the sofa, was spread over her lap, and Parker had cuddled up to her side, book on his knees. "I guess you tired her out, buddy."
"Uh-huh. But I tucked her in. Are we gonna wake her up?"
Despite the embarrassment his partner would probably feel upon waking, Booth couldn't bear to disturb her when she looked so peaceful. "No, I think we'll let Dr. Bones sleep for a little while longer. Let's get you into your PJ's."
Parker placed a delicate kiss on Brennan's forehead, whispered, "Goodnight, Dr. Bones," and allowed himself to be lifted into his father's arms.
-
Half an hour later, Booth closed the door to Parker's room, then started down the hallway toward the living room. He knew Bones had awoken, since he had seen her briefly in the doorway, but he hadn't heard her leave the apartment. He frowned, wondering whether she was still upset about the kiss they had almost shared the previous night, but his expression quickly turned to alarm when he saw her curled tightly on the end of the couch, hair shrouding her face, shoulders clearly shaking with quiet sobbing. At his gentle touch, she sprang back, and he saw that her eyes were indeed red and brimming with tears.
"Hey, c'mere, it's okay." Four years of fatherhood had taught Seeley Booth to comfort first and ask questions later. He gathered a reluctant Dr. Brennan into his arms, rocked her gently until he felt her stiff muscles relax into his embrace, stroked her curls with his fingertips until she let her head pillow against his chest, and made soft shushing noises into her ear until her sobbing subsided into hiccuping sniffles, then harsh, shallow breaths, and finally into quiet. He released her slightly so he could brush damp tears from her cheeks with his handkerchief, and silently begged whatever gods either of them believed in to give him a hand. Whatever could make Dr. Temperance Brennan dissolve into a hysterical mess in his arms was probably beyond his usual parental arsenal of solutions.
"Do you want to tell me what happened?" he asked softly.
Brennan let out a shaky breath. "We came home from the museum. You weren't back, so I made dinner. Afterwards, Parker and I were reading on the couch, and the next thing I knew, I was waking up alone."
"Hey, you don't have to be embarrassed, Bones. You've had a long week – don't try to tell me you haven't been putting in extra hours in the middle of the night to make up for your time with Parker."
She had, though probably not nearly as many as he would have assumed. But that thought would have to wait.
"I thought I'd lost him." The hysteria was gone, leaving her cold, empty, numb, and too exhausted to hide the truth. "I thought something had happened. I woke up and he was gone and all I could think about was that he'd wandered off somewhere, that someone had taken him, that I hadn't protected him the way I promised. God, Booth, I am so sorry. He could have been anywhere."
"Hey, shhh, it's okay." He stroked her hair gently. "Parker's a good kid. He knows better than to leave without telling anyone. And you locked the door when you got home. Nothing could have happened."
"You don't know that." She couldn't meet his eyes. "You think your child is safe... your family is safe... everything seems perfect, until the day it all falls apart."
I should have known. "Tempe, what happened to your parents – whatever it was – is not going to happen again."
"Booth, I'm not a child. I don't want empty promises."
"Is that what you think your parents did? Bones, they didn't mean to lie to you."
"I know." She still wasn't looking at him. "I used to be angry with them. I mean, your parents are supposed to be the ones you can trust most in the world. I used to think, how could they tell me they would always be there? How could they let me believe that life would always be easy and simple? And I knew that it wasn't logical, that they didn't leave me on purpose, but I couldn't stop blaming them."
"You were just a kid. It's natural to be angry – it's all part of the grieving process."
"I know. And I haven't felt that way in a long time. After a while, I was just... sad. For my brother and me, for the childhood we never had. And now... for my parents. Because however terrible it was for me to realize that they hadn't been able to protect me from that pain, I can't begin to imagine what it was like for them, to know they couldn't keep their promises." She was shaking again. "How do you do it, Booth? How do you tell your son that you love him, then go to work every day knowing you might never come back?"
He took her hand. "C'mere." Brennan tried a feeble moan of protest, but, afraid he would do something completely embarrassing like carry her wherever they were going, she let herself be dragged down the hallway to... Parker's room. Booth put a finger to his lips, then cracked the door open so he could peek inside. After a moment, he stepped into the room and motioned for Tempe to follow. She crept into the child's room, and Booth moved behind her. The gentleness with which he grasped her shoulder couldn't prevent the shiver that ran from her neck to her toes as he leaned down to whisper in her ear.
"Do you see that?" His breath was soft and warm against her skin.
"See what?" Parker was fast asleep, snoring lightly, his dusty blond hair matted against the pillow, one arm flung out beside him while the other clutched the Stegosaurus they'd picked out that afternoon.
Seeley slid one arm around her shoulder so he could point a finger toward his sleeping son. "That, Bones, is a happy kid. A happy, safe, healthy little boy, who's probably dreaming about the Metazoic era as we speak."
"Mesozoic," she correctly automatically.
Booth rolled his eyes. "Whatever. The point is, Bones, you're right. We can't save every child, no matter how hard we try. We can't guarantee that nothing bad will ever happen to them, and we can't even catch the bad guys every time something does." He turned her slowly in his arms until their eyes met and she could feel his breath again, this time on her lips. "But right now there's a kid in this room who just had probably the best week of his life, and no one, absolutely no one can take that memory away from him. And you did that, Temperance."
She stared up at him, and Booth knew she was thinking, calculating, analyzing, examining the evidence, and when he finally saw that minuscule widening of the eyes that experience told him meant she had reached her conclusion, he was completely flabbergasted when the first words out of her mouth were "Get out of the room."
"Huh?" he managed, but her hands were already on his chest, pushing.
"You. Out. Now," she continued firmly, sending him stumbling backwards over a pair of SpongeBob sneakers and out into the hall. Booth was still trying to figure out what had happened – had he said something wrong and now she was going to kick his ass where there were no witnesses? was she going to throw up and thought the hardwood would clean more easily than the carpet? - when her hands slid around his neck and then – oh God – Bones was kissing him.