1Before I begin this chapter let me just say that the review I received from Louie was the best review I have ever gotten. Thank you, I'm glad that you enjoy the story.

Chapter 15: New Relations

Hermione retreated to her room. She left occasionally, of course, to go to classes and meals and the like. But she was distracted during class and she picked listlessly at her food during meals. She was depressed.

Harry and Ron didn't know the entire situation and Hermione was unwilling to tell them, but they tried to be supportive. Jule had vanished. Hermione caught sight of her every now and then, and she was always in class, but she would never look at, speak to, or even acknowledge Hermione. Every time that Hermione tried to talk to her Jule was already gone.

Draco seemed equally depressed, which made Hermione feel a little better. He too moped from class to class and hid in his room at all other times. His eyes were always red, his face was pale, and he seemed to be thinner. Looking into mirrors Hermione realized that she looked similar.

The first day back to class Snape gave out grades for the potions project. Even Hermione' and Draco's A was clouded with despair.

The week after Hermione killed May was the longest week she had ever been through. There was no Draco to be with, no Jule to laugh with, and no band practice. Life was empty. It was a huge relief when the weekend finally arrived and Hermione could simply stay in bed all day.

Waking at noon was nice. Hermione rarely slept so late, even on the weekends, and it was a pleasant change. She stretched, breathed deeply, started to smile and burst into tears. Now was the time for mourning.

Hermione barely moved for hours, only occasionally shifting position or moving to grab a tissue. She cried intermittently. Every now and then the tears stopped, she started to breathe again, and the tears returned. That was Saturday.

Sunday started out the same way, but eventually the tears stopped for good around five o'clock. Hermione couldn't go back to sleep and she felt no compulsion to venture out into the real world. Hoping to dispel her boredom at least, Hermione crept out to the common room to retrieve a book she had left there.

Passing Draco's room Hermione heard deep, heaving breaths, something close to sobs. Draco had not had the foresight to cast a silencing charm upon his room.

Hermione slowly inched closer to the door until she was right next to it. Pressing her ear to the door she listened to Draco's grief. Her own tears started again. She didn't know how long she sat there, but at length she heard Draco move and she rushed back to her own room.

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Another week dragged by. Time didn't really have any meaning anymore; what does time matter when you have nothing to look forward to? Hermione was vaguely aware that she was slipping into a deep depression, but she didn't particularly care. By the next Saturday all she wanted was to sleep away her troubles.

So she slept. Hermione slept for hours and hours. She slept until it was humanly impossible to sleep any longer. It was 1:00 at night on Saturday (Sunday really) when she woke up and could sleep no longer. She paced back and forth impatiently.

At last she decided that she had to leave, had to get out of that room. She didn't care where she went, she just needed to escape. She threw on a sweater and pulled the door open.

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Draco, on the other hand, had slept very little. He could not really sleep for more than a few moments, let alone for hours at a time. He stormed about the common room with nothing to do but pace. At last, a little past one, he decided to knock on Granger's door. At the very least he could annoy her into fighting with him. He marched up to the door and was lifting his hand to knock when the door flew open.

Hermione took in Draco's raised hand and shocked expression in an instant.

"What are you doing?" She demanded, not caring that she sounded rude.

"Um, I couldn't sleep," Draco tried to explain. "And you?"

"The same," Hermione murmured. "I was about to get some fresh air."

Draco nodded but did not move. Hermione tried to edge past him through her doorway, but that only ended up with them being very close together. Hermione felt heat radiating off of Draco's body as she gazed into his burning gray eyes. He stared straight back. And then they were kissing, and Draco was closing the door behind them as she led him to her bed. Hermione vaguely reflected that they had never had sex in her bed before. Clothing was swiftly discarded as Draco kissed down Hermione's neck and Hermione ran her hands all over Draco's body. And then Draco was in her and Hermione wanted to laugh and cry and yell, in happiness or anger, all at once. How different and yet similar everything was.

She looked into Draco's eyes and was frightened by what she saw there. Lust, grief, and something akin to rage or hatred. Draco had never looked at her that way, not even when he thought she was just Granger and called her mudblood. She had never seen something like that anywhere before and it terrified her. She closed her eyes and tried to ignore the look, but she could still see it; it was permanently etched into her memory.

When it was over Draco stayed on top of her for a moment. She opened her eyes again and gazed into those deep, soulful pools of gray. The hatred was gone, as was the lust, and only grief remained. Hermione opened her mouth to say something but could find no words. Draco rolled onto the side of her and turned away.

After several moments of silence Hermione cleared her throat and spoke. "I guess you broke up with your girlfriend, huh?"

Draco was still turned away from her. He shrugged his shoulders irresolutely. Suddenly Hermione felt angry. Had he gotten over her so fast? And did he think that he could just use her now?

"So you're just cheating on her then?" She demanded hotly, realizing just how crazy she was. "You're still with your girlfriend, but you're willing to use me on the side, is that it?"

"She dumped me." Draco ground out. "I tried to fool her but she knew; somehow she could tell. So she said that it was over and that she was moving to Paris." It sounded like he was crying.

Hermione didn't know whether she was relieved or not. Clearly, then, he did care about her. But he was also willing to use her for sex to make himself feel better. But wasn't that what she was doing? Except he was more honest about it and she was just a liar about everything.

Deciding to comfort him Hermione placed her hand on his shoulder. He shuddered slightly from the touch. Then he turned and buried himself in her arms. Her face automatically nestled itself into his neck and she inhaled his sent. The familiar smell brought back so many memories. She never wanted to stop holding him like this.

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Monday returned eventually, but not until Draco and Hermione had had sex again, this time in Draco's room. Hermione knew it was stupid and wrong to do, but the time she spent with Draco was the only time that she didn't feel completely empty. And the emptiness was unbearable.

Hermione returned to class. Although still quiet, she had regained a fraction of her old interest and was even taking notes again. At breakfast she had no appetite, but at lunch she was able to eat an entire roll and at dinner she had baked potato. She was started to come back to life, and Hermione savored the joy of feeling again. But that night she was with Draco again, cursing her own weakness even as she succumbed to the guilty pleasure of Draco's body.

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On Tuesday Hermione managed to corner Jule. Borrowing Harry's map of the castle, Hermione had stalked Jule between classes until she had her trapped in the girl's washroom on the third floor.

Jule was washing her hands as Hermione entered the room. All the stalls were empty and Jule and Hermione were alone for the first time since Jule's confession. Hermione locked the door behind her. "We need to talk," she began, slowly walking towards Jule.

"No, we really, really don't," Jule tried to edge past Hermione but failed. "I think it would be better if we never spoke again."

"I disagree."

"Well, sucks for you."

"Jule, you're my best friend!" Hermione exploded. "Don't abandon me, especially now."

"Why now?" Jule didn't really seem very interested.

"I broke up with Draco."

Surprise and hope flashed through Jule's eyes. She looked into Hermione's face, meeting her gaze for the first time in more than two weeks. The look there took Hermione's breath away. Was that what she looked like when she looked at Draco? The intense longing and affection were clear.

"Jule, I..."

"Shhhhhh," Jule placed a finger on Hermione's lips. "Don't be scared." She leaned in and just as her lips were brushing Hermione's Hermione returned to her senses and pulled away.

"Jule that's not what I meant," she rebuked softly. "What I meant was you're my friend and I need your friendship right now. That's all." Hermione had to look away from Jule's eyes. The look in them threatened to swallow her alive. "I'm sorry," she muttered.

"Everyone's always just so goddamned sorry, aren't they?" Jule exploded. "Well some things can't be cured with 'I'm sorry', do you understand that?"

"Yes."

"Then don't fucking apologize! If you were really sorry you would just leave me the hell alone!" And with that Jule shoved Hermione out of the way, unlocked the door, and stormed into the hallway. Hermione couldn't stop herself from following.

"Jule, wait," Hermione gasped out.

"Don't follow me!" Jule spun around, drawing her wand. Before Hermione could think she had been blasted back; not hard enough to hurt her, of course, just hard enough to give Jule time to change into a bat and flap away.

Hermione stopped trying to talk to Jule after that.

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Because of Jule' and Hermione's falling out there had been no animagus lessons in a while. Draco had previously been too distracted to notice, but their nights together seemed to have been helping him as much as they had helped Hermione. When Wednesday arrived he asked Hermione where "the weird American" was.

"We had a fight," Hermione tried to sound casual. "She's been avoiding me."

"What, did you two have a lover's spat?" Draco asked cheekily, smirking irritatingly at Hermione. Hermione's only response was to give him a look clearly saying: watch your tongue or no sex for you. He grinned in response, the first real smile Hermione had seen on his face since she broke up with him. "We'd best tell McGonagle then, eh?"

Hermione shrugged.

"Of course," Draco continued casually. "We don't have to tell her right now. We could just wait till tomorrow morning..."

Hermione looked at him, recognizing the look in his eye. "I don't see why not." She responded, equally relaxed. "I mean, I'm sure we can find something else to do tonight." Without another word she stood and, giving Draco a meaningful look, headed into her bedroom. He followed without comment.

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Taking time to reflect on the turn her relationship with Draco had taken, Hermione didn't know what to think. They weren't friends, and they weren't dating, and she would never call them lovers. Hermione and Draco were more along the line of fuck-buddies, but she thought that term was crude, and it evoked memories of Jule and her carefree sexuality. But that was what they were. What had begun as comfort had turned into rebound which had in turn become this strange relationship.

All Hermione could say for sure was that things were definitely different. Although there was none of the previous depth she had shared with Draco, there was a new lightness and sense of liberty. There were no lies, no deceit, no appearance altering charms. For the first time in her life Hermione was merely herself. She no longer posed as another person, nor did she erect her usual defenses around Draco. Perhaps because they were so close and yet so far, Hermione did not feel the need to hide herself from Draco any longer. If she had a thought she spoke it, not caring what his reaction would be, although she loved to make him laugh.

They did that more now. Laughing. They could genuinely enjoy each others company. Of course, they fought too, but Hermione doubted that would ever change. No matter how long she might know Draco, or how deeply she might fall in love with him, it would always be a special pleasure to infuriate him. She knew he felt the same way.

It was now a month since the breakup and the death of May. Hermione and Draco slept together every night, sometimes in his room, sometimes in hers, sometimes in the common room. There was little tenderness, but there was fun. In a different life Hermione and Draco might have even become friends.

But they were not friends, nor lovers, nor anything real. Hermione had to keep reminding herself of that; Draco was using her and she was using him. It was about comfort and pleasure, not about feelings. But whenever she reminded herself of their peculiar relationship Hermione could not help but feel unclean and depressed. So she tried not to think about it.

It would already be too late when Hermione realized the folly of her actions.

TBC...

Preview: "So," Hermione's voice cracked slightly. "We won't ever be friends again, will we?"

"I don't know," Jule answered honestly. "Maybe someday. I can't see the future. But not now. I just need time away from you."

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