What's Left of Me, a grey's anatomy fanfic

What's Left of Me

An empty room can be so deafen,
The silence makes you wanna scream,
It drives you crazy.
I chased away the shadows of your name,
And burn the picture in a frame,
But it couldn't save me.

I've never felt so hurt so betrayed. After everything we've been through. This is what I get. I was in love. I said vows. I pledge my life, love and soul. I feel like I've lost them all now. They've just disappeared. How does that happen? How could I not notice? I can't even pinpoint a moment of death. I can't call my own death.

And how could we quit something we never even tried,
Well you still can't tell me why.

We built it up,
To watch it fall.
Like we meant nothing at all.
I gave and gave the best of me,
But you couldn't give you what you need.
You walked away,
You stole my life,
Just to find what your looking for.
But no matter how I try,
I can't hate you anymore.
...I can't hate you anymore.

Yes, I made mistakes. I screwed up. It happens. People do bad things. We don't mean to. Very few people start out to hurt someone. Especially someone they care about. I certainly didn't. But I have. And I've killed myself in the progress. I can't breathe. I'm still in love. I want my best friend to hold me and tell me 'everything is going to be alright.'

Your not the person who you used to be,
The one I want who wanted me,
And that's a shame but,
There's only so many tears that you can cry.
Before it changes the life right from your eyes,
And I can't go on that way.
And so I'm letting of everything we were,
It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

Of course we've drifted apart. It happens. These things happen. But when they happen to others, the world doesn't end. Why is my world ending? Maybe I could've worked harder. Maybe I gave up too soon. How could I let my world end? How could I not notice the end of all things?

Sometimes you hold so tight,
It slips right through your hands.
Will I ever understand?

So many years. So many moments. So many dates. So many good times. So many bad times. So many everythings. I wanted this so much. Our wedding day was the happiest of my life. When did I lose sight of that? When did I stop doing what was best for my marriage? I want to cry, but I fear that I'll never stop. I fear that if I feel the pain for a mere moment, it will overtake me. And I have nothing left to give. I am nothing. My marriage is over and I can't think of anything left to do.

I feel like I should stop everything. Just start screaming. Maybe if I yelled 'I hate you' or screamed about my disgust, my disappointment, and my pain. And maybe if I ended with 'I love you' we could work it all out. Comfort each other as friends and find some way to make it to tomorrow.

I know I love you. I know I hurt.

And I know I can't live without you.