Cenotaph
Disclaimer : Suikoden II belongs to Konami .
If there's still a way to turned the time back …… I probably wouldn't stay alive until today …… until hundreds years passed away . Trapped in a immortal body , lived and bearing a curse together in my life . I wish I had choose to rejected the true rune that time …… but then I was to greedy …… I was too greedy for an eternal power . I wanted that power so badly , so I accepted the true rune without thinking about what the exchange I had to gave to pay the power it gave me ………
"Kuso………I………have to go back to the temple again ………" I cursed myself as I felt the true rune power started to consuming my own energy .
I wanted to die so badly ………but then , why does every time I started to felt that the true rune power started to consume my energy I always afraid to let it used my own power ? Am I afraid of the death ? Am I really such a coward ? Am I just a Liar ?
"You must be felt alone too …… aren't you ? " I asked the true rune on my right hand as I entered the cold and dark cave .
How many times had I spend on this world , 150 years , 200 years , 250 years ? No it had been longer than that ………. I've spend so many years in this world until I can't counted it anymore ……… no matter how many years I have passed , I will always trapped in this sixteen years old body …… It's the curse that I can't changed ………
'Even if you immortal ……… I will always loved you Jowy for the rest of my life……… ' a memory of Jillia smiled softly suddenly came back to me ……… the memory of the first woman that I ever loved so deeply , but then she had died a long time ago …… leaving me alone in the cold and lonely world . It spend me another 150 years before I can find another woman that I loved , she was my brightest light ……… but then she had to die too ……
'It's enough for me …… if I can cured other people disease …… I don't care about myself . Even though I know that I'm dying , and the Bright Shield rune can healed me …… I don't want to accepted that …… is that fine with you ? I know I'm being an egoist , but …… I'm really sorry Jowy ……' Another memory of Winona came to my mind so suddenly , it was her last words before she died in my embrace .
'What's the meaning of having an immortal life , but then it was soulless ……… It's better to have a short life but full of life inside of it …… ' I still remembers clearly Riou said those words when I asked him why he didn't accept the true rune ……
I was such a fool for accepting those powers that time ……… I have seen so many people that I loved die in front of me ……… Jillia has died because she eventually grew up older and finally her lifespan ended …… so does happened to Riou , Nanami and Pilika ……… Winona died because of disease , if only I can stopped her from curing the disease that suddenly appeared in Muse City and forced her to receive the true rune …… maybe she will stay alive this time ……but then she refused the true rune too , just like what Riou has done years earlier …………
"Is this really what I want ?" I asked myself as I drew closer to the place where the Bright Shield Rune being sealed
"Is this what I always asked to ? " I asked myself again , and stopped my step ……
I wanted to die right ? But then why does I search for the Bright Shield Rune to retrieve the Black Sword Rune power ? If I let it consume my energy ……… I would be dead , right ?
"where do my soul will go ? I had done so many sin in this life ! " I yelled as loud as I can , all of the question that lingering in my heart finally being revealed .
Can I go to the place where everyone is? To the eternal heaven of happiness? Or maybe I will go to deepest hell where there's only pain and cry? I guess……that's why I'm afraid to die……because I know my soul will gone to the hell……I'm different from Riou who put his life into danger so the people can gained the peace, from Nanami who risk her normal life so she can protected everyone, from Jillia who spread the peace to the people……or even from Winona who dedicated her life for her job curing people……I had done a lot of sin in my life. Maybe God already got too tired from writing every single sin I had made in his books…… after all, I had lived for a long time……even my family decided to make an empty graveyard for me……
"I'm nobody……just a cenotaph………" I said as I began to laugh, I'm really really pathetic……… just because of my greediness I have to ended up like this. Maybe you would laugh at me too Riou……your words just seems so right to me for now. Maybe I was the unhappiest person in this planet.
"Coming back I see………" a woman in blue robe smirking at me, I hate her very much……I hate her like I hate the true rune in my hand.
"Don't come near me…….I don't wanted to see your face anymore……" I said as I slowly feel the power of the true rune rejuvenating my body.
"My……my……blaming me for all of the sadness you have in your life? Little Jowy………You should know that it was your fault for having that greed in your heart………" she chuckled insanely in front of me. After a long time for not seeing her……I can feel that something has drive her insane……something that was seems to be so wrong……Could this have a connection with Riou………
"I didn't blame you for this……But I blamed myself for what I done……but you……you also blamed yourself for not able to force Riou to accepted his destiny……Am I right? " I smirking when I noticed the expression in her face changed from something so insane to a blast of fury.
"Don't you know……that I can kill you, if I want? " Leknaat asked with a fury in her voice, go ahead and kill me if you want! I'm tired from all of this life I had going through!
"Go ahead! I don't care about my life anymore! " I replied, right now I didn't wanted to know what going to happen if I die... I just wanted to die right now! And I know that I was right this time!
"My……you really serious aren't you? Then……I will do it like what you wanted! " She yelled as she destroyed the seal into pieces……the seal that held the power of the Bright Shield Rune……… And once again I can feel that the Black Sword Rune is consuming my energy once again……… I'm going to be able to die today………finally……
"It's not my fault………It's not my fault! " the woman screamed before she teleporting herself out of the cave, destroyed the Bright Shield Rune……will have an alter effect for the world……but that doesn't matter as long as I can gained my happiness…… I'm such an egoist…… but I think I know what you had feel that time Winona, when you refused to accepted the true rune, even tough you know the disease is ruined your own body…… And I think I know what you feel that time Riou when you refused to accepted the true rune too…… Everyone has their own egoistical side……and right now……this is my egoistical wish……
"Finally………I was………able to………to see yours face……" I said with all the strength that I have as I pulled out my sword and destroyed the seal…… the seal of the Black Sword rune…… so It will die together with me, and it wouldn't caused anymore misery to anyone………
"I'm going………to go to your place………" I smiled as I collapsed to the ground……… sacrificing something to change the destiny was seems so right for me today……… because with that sacrifice…… I'm able to gain the peace I had wished for so long………
It doesn't take a long time to realized that my body turned into dust……of course, without the power of the true rune……my body withered away like the rose, and changed into the small dust that flew away with the morning breeze, and the soothing wind……… at my last time…… I can't feel anything anymore……the body didn't feel any pain at all………but my heart feels the pain……the pain for not being able to do this for a long time……for being a liar……but I'm glad that it's finally over……I'm glad……
"We will always be together right? Because we had choose the same path of life and death together……" I cried as I said those words……the memories I had with everyone in my life passing through like a cinema in my eyes, the memories with Riou, Nanami, Pilika, Jilia, and even with Winona……so this is how it's feel to be dead……it's so mysterious and magical for me…… because I'm able to gain my wish.
"I will be knocking on the heaven's door for you !" I said as I raised my fist to the sky and finally everything went pitch black.
"Another person die……they had the ability to changed their destiny……" Leknaat said as she pulled the crystal ball tightly into her heart………
"If destiny can be changed so easily………" tears started to overflowing in her eyes
"Then why can't I changed my destiny? " she asked herself as she embracing the crystal ball harder until it broken into pieces and wounded her hand, the little drops of the bloosd had tainted her clear blue robe with the crimson red colour...
"Maybe…… I will able too if I take a big leap in my life………" she laughed insanely when she took out one of the broken pieces and stabbed it straightly into her heart. Finally she able to changed her destiny. Finally she able to gained the happiness……just like Luc, Sarah, Riou, and then Jowy……finally……
She was smiling happily when she was finally collapsed to the ground , even tough she was lifeless right now……but she was happier like this than being someone who live…… finally she gained the everlasting happiness.
Your hapiness was build on the tears and the last hope you still held tightly in your heart...
Le fin Du Fin…….
A/n Yatta ! Finally I was able to finished this story! Well, I hope you like it! And if anyone was wondered about Winona…… she was an OC that I made for my unpublished Fan Fic "Ethereal Dreams"…… well in that FF she was a doctor that lived in Muse, who unfortunately shared similarities with Jillia…… But when Jowy finally realized his feelings to her…… she died because of the disease that spread in Muse that unfortunately she gained because she tried to cured the disease. BTW, Please give me some Review…… (Puss in da boots eyes……)