Chapter 7: Diplomatic Issues

Early morning war-table meetings were the worst. Cassandra looked like she was still half-asleep, Cullen hadn't even styled his hair, and Liethe knew that there were bags big enough to carry under her own eyes. She made no secret of yawning, either. Josephine and Leliana, however, looked wide awake and perfectly coiffed. Leliana, Liethe would surmise, hadn't even been to bed yet, but there was just no need for Josephine to look respectable at an hour's past dawn. Fehendis, the cooks had barely relit the fires in the kitchen - so breakfast would be a long ways off.

She yawned again and ignored the twitched glare of Cassandra. 'Why'd we need to do this so early, anyway?'

'We had a back-channel communication last night that I felt we needed to look at.' Leliana answered for her.

'You are all lucky that I managed to persuade her to wait until dawn.' The Antivan warned them. 'But nevertheless it is a troubling development that must be discussed.'

'Troubling?' Cassandra picked up croakily.

'Development?!' Cullen demanded. 'Has another agent of Corypheus resurfaced? Why wasn't I told?'

Leliana and Josephine spared a look toward each other. Josephine hastily produced what looked like a letter from the sheaf of papers in her clipboard. 'It isn't Corypheus this time, Cullen. It is something far more…. Human.' She replied delicately.

Leliana snorted. 'Orlesian, you mean.'

That finally pierced the fog of Liethe's tiredness. 'Orlais? Is Celene alright? Don't tell me that there's another coup.'

'The Empress is … fine. Perhaps you should read this.' Josephine handed over the letter. Ugh, reading at this ungodly hour?

She unfolded the sheaf of parchment and began to read. 'My dearest friend Inquisitor, how charmed I was to be rescued from my deplorable cousins by you and your chivalrous Inquisition…'

An eyebrow raised as she fell into mumbling as she read further. Eventually, the other eyebrow raised and then a dusting of pink rode across her cheeks and Vallaslin. 'Dirthra'ma.' She muttered lowly.

'Inquisitor?' Cassandra demanded as she turned the parchment over. The warrior came up behind her and read an excerpt. 'Oh maker…'

'Oh maker indeed.' Leliana's smile had no right to be that sly.

'Am I missing something?' Cullen demanded tiredly and moved to look at the parchment, but Liethe hastily hid it from him and flustered.

'Ah, Cullen it's nothing military- you don't need to be involved-'

'Liethe.' Cullen warned her. 'What is it?'

She didn't know why she didn't want to show him. Embarrassment, perhaps? A need to protect him? She knew that he felt mild annoyance that Liethe was always sought after. Perhaps, it was because as a military man, Cullen wasn't as … diplomatic … as he could have been. Whatever her reasons for not wanting him involved, Leliana beat her to it.

'It seems The Empress of Orlais has a small crush on our Inquisitor.' Leliana smirked.

Cullen froze. Horror, confusion and trepidation fought for space. 'What?' He demanded hollowly and finally pried the papers from Leithe's hands. He was a fast reader, used to skimming military reports. 'Dear maker.' He murmured to himself as Liethe hid behind a hand.

'Indeed, Commander.' Cassandra replied dryly.

The room devolved into silence. Leliana was lucky that she was currently half-hidden behind Josephine. There was no need for her to look so smug. This was Celene! Being, not to put too much a point on it, dismissively rude would not only wreck the standing of The Inquisition as a whole, but could outright spark war in Orlais. Again.

'...What do we do?' Liethe sighed at least.

Cullen dropped the papers onto the wartable and coughed, an embarrassed redness rising up his throat. 'Can we not simply politely inform Celene-'

'No.' Leliana interrupted abruptly. 'We can't tell her "Sorry, this is our Herald, you can't have her", that simply won't work. Celene is….unaccustomed to being told no.'

'I'm wholly uncomfortable with saying yes.' Liethe responded hotly. 'It's because I'm Dalish, isn't it? I was told that Celene had a...liking for female elves.'

'It is a well kept court secret. Leliana nodded. 'It would be quite ruinous if it were public. Celene is being bold, here. Perhaps because you are the Herald of Andraste, the woman who rescued her from an attempted coup. It's a little more...acceptable.'

'Two. It was two attempted coups.' Liethe sighed wearily. 'Leliana, please don't take offense, but i really hate the Orlesian Grand Game.'

'Well it isn't for everyone, Inquisitor, but I do have a way around this that would benefit all involved and does not involve yourself unduly.'

'Oh?' Cassandra quipped. 'Do tell us, Leliana.'

'Celene is infatuated, but she is also a flake.' Leliana shrugged. 'All Liethe has to do is humour her until time and distance wane her feelings.'

'You said it wasn't going to involve me.' Liethe grit.

'Oh it won't, Inquisitor. Varric and his storytelling should come in quite handy. We simply have him write to her in your place.'

'...You've done this before, haven't you?' Cassandra growled. Leliana's smirk was all the confirmation they needed.