Chapter 11: And then, there was Sera

'So, you and the jackboot, eh?'

Liethe, midway through eating a cookie, inhaled crumbs. She managed to splutter 'What?!' As she choked.

'I'm not saying nothing.' Sera replied stolidly, as though she hadn't just sprang that on her friend as they ate rooftop cookies in the sunset. 'But is he that shouty in the sack?'

Liethe was going purple. She wasn't sure if it was to do with lodged cookie crumbs or the subject at hand. Eventually, she slammed a fist on her chest and wheezed 'The Commander and I are friends Sera!'

The archer kicked her feet absentmindedly over the slates on the roof and took a nibble of cookie. 'Oh.' She muttered at last and Liethe, now sliding into red and pink from the neon purple she had just been began to relax somewhat. Until - 'Inky and jackboot sitting in a tree-'

'Ugh Sera you are insufferable!' Liethe half-laughed and pushed her. The rogue rolled effortlessly to avoid her friend, still singing along in the most childish manner.

'K-I-S-S-I-N-G!' She roared. 'Is he all jackbooty when you kiss, too?'

'Sera!' Liethe dived for her and missed. 'There is nothing going on between - How do you even know?'

'I talk to people.'

'Who?!'

'Well, The Seeker pretends she's not interested, but I know she talks to The Nightingale about it. Vivi is just "What a good political match she has made, I've got my head stuck up my arse!" about it, Varric's writing a new romance about you-'

Liethe choke-spluttered 'Creators, he's not.'

'I've read it. It's smutty.' Sera cackled.

'Kill me now.' Liethe begged.

'So, why the jackboot?' Sera laughed and rolled into a sitting position with an unnatural flexibility.

'I told you, Sera, The Commander and I are-'

'Please. You two are stupidly-gross about each other. He preens his hair when he knows you're coming and you always try to impress him.'

'I do not!' She returned hotly.

'Really?' Sera's smirk suddenly became predatory. 'As baldy is so fond of saying - "Lets test the hypothe-thingy!"'

Wait, what?

Sera snatched up a cookie and jumped to her feet. She was aiming for something in the courtyard and as Liethe realised to her everlasting horror, Cullen was walking quite innocently towards the main building.

'Sera - Sera don't do th- Fehendis!' She gasped as the elven archer lobbed a raisin cookie and hit her target at twenty paces. Cullen jutted forward and turned, a hand instantly in his hair and looking for the culprit - who had vanished into the tavern as Liethe had been fixated.

When Cullen spotted her, his hand began to smooth out his hair nervously. 'Inquisitor!' He yelled up at her. 'What in the Fade are you doing up there?'

Given the circumstances, she rallied. 'The uh - the mountains - I um, I'm meditating on our strategy?'

Curses, she hated it when Sera was right.