Chapter Seven: Cling Like Smoke
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Tangerine is the kind of heroine that girls like to imagine they would be, if circumstances were different. Independent and strong-willed, but able to love, no matter how unlucky she may be at it. She's quirky, in control of her sexuality, but slightly psychologically broken due to her harsh past.
Tangerine doesn't always win big, but she always comes out even. She dines with royalty, but prefers the company of misfits. She refuses gifts of elegant jewelry from greasy suitors, but never turns down a free pint of ale offered by her working-class acquaintances. Tangerine drives fast, speaks recklessly, and fucks fearlessly. Tangerine loves dogs, frozen drinks, the Italian countryside, novelty keychains, and her Sig Sauer P226.
Tangerine is an assassin.
And by the end of the story, she always has to kill her traitorous lover.
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"What do you mean it was your plastique, Shuichi?"
Shuichi is squirming. I think the seat belt is hitting him where he was singed. Either that, or he just doesn't like the tone of my voice. He gives up on getting comfortable and flips down the visor.
"My poor hair. Look at it... It's all burned and uneven..." He pokes and pulls at the ends, pouting and pretending that he didn't hear a word I said.
"Would you just answer my question?"
Shuichi flips the visor up. "I mean it's my plastique."
"That doesn't answer anything. Why do you own explosives? You realize that plastique...blows things up, right? It's not like Play-Doh."
"Play-wha?" Shuichi gives me a don't-make-references-I-don't-get look, and continues, "Well, duh. Of course it's for blowing things up. But, I didn't mean to blow up Okita's house. That was completely by accident."
"Shuichi!" I'm so surprised by what Shuichi is saying, I accidentally swerve half out of my lane. A nearby car honks at us, and there's a faint squeak of tires on pavement. My arm flies out to hold Shuichi in place.
He just gives me a -look-. "Watch where you are driving, okay? Maybe this isn't a safe conversation to have in a car."
"You blew up a house!"
"I'll buy him a new one. I'm rich now, remember?"
It's true. Shuichi has a fuckload of money. I make him keep it in a bank, instead of in the damn closet, like he was for a while there. A man should not keep large wads of cash in the same old crate as his underpants. "That isn't the point..."
A hand creeps into the crook of my arm, warm and smudged with ash. I ignore it, and keep driving. If only there were time to pull aside and get a proper explanation. But, there isn't. Seguchi's life is on the line, and despite the fact that I sometimes loathe how much he knows about me... Well, I can't let someone make Mika a widow prematurely. With all that extra time on her hands to dote on her brothers, she'd be even more obnoxious than she is -now-.
Besides. It's Uriel. Fuck if I'm going to let Uriel have anything he wants.
"I know all about it," Shuichi says. I blink, and turn to look at him, but he just points at the road. Right. Driving. "About Exile. About your work...taking really bad people out of the world, people who prey on the weak. On people who can't defend themselves."
Is that...what I do? "How did... Who told you?"
"Sakano told me about three months ago. I didn't believe him, at first. But then I started looking in the places he mentioned... And I found knives and wire and..."
Three months ago. Around the time I started suspecting Shuichi was doing drugs. When he was all mopey. When I found that piece of paper in his notebook. The one where he wrote that he loved me.
"But, after a lot of thinking, I began to understand. I mean, there are a lot of really awful people out there, doing hideous things. But, maybe if there is someone in the darkness, someone essentially good, but who scares those predators, scares them shitless... If there is someone like that, someone like you, then they'll think twice about hurting people."
Is it...really possible for Shuichi to think that way? Is he truly that fundamentally innocent and naive? What I do is -murder-, and while we gloss it with a veneer of justice, the fact remains that I am a murderer. A killer. "You can't just say something like that. It's ridiculous. You completely lack the ability to comprehend what is going on here."
"Yuki." The grip on my arm tightens as Shuichi slides over to lean against me. "I love you. I have crazy love for you. Backwards-and-inside-out love for you. To-the-grave love for you." He rubs his cheek against my shirt, leaving ash smudges all over it. "Because I know you're a good person. I know all the things you do for me that you think I don't notice. Like how you throw a blanket over me when I fall asleep on the couch. Or how you always pick up on the second ring, when I call you at home, even though it's your policy to wait for the phone to ring at least five times for anyone else. I know how you keep a scrap of paper in a book, in the bottom drawer of your desk... Because you're so afraid of losing me. I mean it when I say I love you, love the good in you, and nothing is going to change that."
"You're a fucking moron." I love you too, Shuichi. "A crazy moron.
A backwards-and-inside-out -moron-. And you'll go to the grave a moron"
Good god, I want to pull this car over and fuck some sense into you.
"Hey!" Shuichi pinches me. Hard. "Can't you ever say anything nice?"
I shrug. I suppose I should say something. The fact is, what he said now, it's like a dream. Like imagining winning the lottery. A fantasy that you only barely entertain, in secret stolen moments, because you don't want to become too attached to it for fear of disappointment. Can I believe? Is it alright to believe... That I can have this? "I... Well, you're kind of cute, looking all soot-covered and urchin-like."
Shuichi sighs happily and nods. "I know. I am just plain sexy. You can't unsexy me with a little dirt."
Wait a minute. This conversation has been completely hijacked. That little bastard. I nudge him with my elbow, and growl, "Shuichi. The plastique. Tell me about the explosives."
"Oh, right." What the hell is he doing? Licking my shirt? Or blowing his nose on it? It feels gooey. That's extremely distracting. I am -trying- to drive, here. "Sakano said that you were in trouble, in danger, because you lost your partner. Uriel, right? Yeah, that's it. Uriel. Anyway, Sakano told me all about how Uriel was an explosives expert, and how he was good with fire and everything, and offered to train me -- so that I could take Uriel's place. So I could help you."
"What? And you trusted him?" Of course Shuichi trusted him. A story like that, and the opportunity to help me do something "important", Shuichi would eat that right up.
Shuichi looks up at me, the worry on his face barely masked by his overwhelming confusion. "Well, yeah. Of course. Sakano is Seguchi-san's right-hand-man in Exile, isn't he?
It takes a while for me to explain that Sakano is Uriel, both because Shuichi is sometimes a bit combative about his own denseness, and because I'm not exactly fond of revealing that I didn't realize the truth -earlier-. When I finish telling Shuichi about Uriel and my suspicions regarding his secret obsession with Tohma, Shuichi has his face in his hands, and is mumbling an apology between repeated utterances of, "I can't believe it. I just can't believe it."
Not like it is his fault. Alright, maybe it is his fault, just a little, for being such a completely trusting and naive ignoramus. I shake my head. "Well, at least you probably didn't set off that fire at Okita's yourself. Sakano probably rigged something. I assume you got most of the plastique and other implements from him?"
"Ye...yeah." Shuichi looks at me, his eyes wide in a mildly horrified expression. "I was supposed to burn down another warehouse tomorrow. Sakano said it would be the end of my training, and then we could show you what I'd learned, and how helpful I could be to you."
"I see." Uriel is definitely making his move -now-. He assumed that with Shuichi injured or dead, I'd be too distracted to notice Tohma's disappearance.
I come to a stop at an intersection, and press a button. Shuichi's door unlocks with a "shunk" noise.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm letting you out here," I say, rather flatly, as I dig out my wallet. I consider handing Shuichi a sizeable amount of cash, and then decide to just give him my credit card, instead. "Take a taxi. But, don't go home. Find a hotel. Call me later, and let me know where to meet you."
"Huh? What? No way! I'm coming with you!" As if he thinks it will be helpful to keep himself inside the car, Shuichi grabs hold of the seat with one hand, and the dashboard with the other. "I can help you, Yuki. I really can."
"Out of my car."
"No way!"
I give him a mild shove, nothing that'd hurt him, just to show him I'm serious. Shuichi twists in his seatbelt, and his shoulder bumps the window. The car behind us honks. Repeatedly.
I make a mistake by looking in the rearview window. I shouldn't have taken my eyes off of Shuichi, because the damned rubberband boy somehow gets his leg up high enough to kick me in the ear. The car lurches forward when I momentarily take my foot off the brake, but despite my pain, I stop us again.
"Fucking hell! That fucking hurt!" I rub my ear. It wasn't the impact of the kick that hurt so much as the rubbery treads on the sole of Shuichi's sneakers grinding against my skin.
Shuichi turns a bit pale as he starts to right himself in his seat. "Yuki, I'm sorry. I just..." He leans over, slowly, to peer at my ear. I guess he's looking for blood. "I'm tired of it. Tired of waiting... No, that's not it. I'd wait forever for you. But, it hurts so much to not know where you are... Now that I know what you do. I imagine horrible things. All the ways you could be hurt, all the ways..." And that's when the stupid idiot starts crying.
"Stop it," I bark. "Stop crying." Despite what I'm saying, I slide my arm around Shuichi's shoulders, and rub his upper arm.
The driver of the car behind us lays on his horn.
Shuichi sniffles noisily. "I can do...something. Let me be the getaway driver."
"This isn't a bank heist, moron." He -really- watches -way- too much television. "And I'd never let you drive my car, anyway."
"The lookout. I can be a lookout. For the cops."
There better -not- be any fucking cops. I glance at the rearview window again. The driver's side door of the car behind mine flies open, and a rather red-faced man in a suit climbs out.
"Yuki, please." Shuichi wiggles out of my grasp to sit up straight. He wipes at his eyes, and then gives me a piercing look. "Please let me help."
Shuichi jumps when the man in the suit appears at my window and bangs his fist against it while yelling, "Would you faggots DRIVE?"
I grab the handle of my door and push it open as hard as I can, catching the yelling asswipe in the gut, and perhaps also his balls. After screaming like a girl, he crumples, and I slam the door shut.
Shuichi stares at me, wide-eyed.
"Alright. You can come with me. But you will do -everything- I say. This is -not- negotiable. Got it?"
He nods. I check for oncoming traffic, and seeing none, hit the gas. Shuichi twists in his seat and peers out the back window. "Wow. That guy is just lying in the middle of the road."
"He'll live." I need a cigarette. I rummage around in my pocket and pull out my pack. The cigarette between my lips, I mumble, "You got a...?"
Shuichi produces a lighter and leans over to touch the flame to the end of my cigarette. "So, what now?"
"Now I need to make a phone call."
"And then?"
"Then we rescue Tohma."
After Shuichi nods again, I notice him rummaging around in -his- shirt. He pulls out a very wadded up pack of cigarettes, and starts trying to fish one out. Without even thinking, my hand darts out and I snatch it away from him. I toss it in the back seat.
"Hey!"
"You'll ruin your voice, dumbass. Why'd you start smoking, anyway? You hate the fact that I smoke."
Shuichi grins rather lopsidedly, and scoots over to lean against me again. "I guess..." I hear him laugh into my sleeve. "I just like it when the smell of smoke clings to me."
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Gabriel and Raphael meet us in NG's parking garage. Gabriel's trenchcoat bulges from the massive amount of guns he's brought along, and Raphael's skin is barely visible beneath his black shinobi regalia. Not that it's at all difficult to tell who he is with the damned stuffed toy sitting on his head. For his part, Shuichi is at least quiet while the three of us plan.
Gabriel and Raphael will go in first, and take out any Lampyridae agents watching the security cameras or the elevators. Then, I'll go in and deal with Uriel while they search NG for any enemy stragglers.
Shuichi pokes me in the shoulder. "What about me?"
"You'll follow me, and then hide when I tell you. If anyone gets in trouble, they'll use their cellphone to call you, and you can drag them out of there. Got it?"
Shuichi looks mildly disappointed, but nods anyway.
"Good. Any questions?"
The stupid shinobi eyes me warily, but thankfully doesn't make a snide comment in front of Shuichi. K shakes his head, grabs a gun out of his arsenal, and the two of them head for the stairs.
After they're gone, Shuichi slumps against me and mumbles, "Wow. It's hard to believe that they're... You know. Working for Exile, too. I mean, not Mr. K so much as..."
Yeah, it's hard to believe. I put an arm around Shuichi as we lean against the car, and check my watch. Three minutes, then we're going in. There's so much I want to tell Shuichi about the past few days, but it's likely I never will. There's no time to think about that, anyway. I need to thinking about tactics. I need to be building up walls, mentally preparing to finish this ordeal. But, all I can think about is how good it feels to have Shuichi back. The human mind, terrible and inconstant, can never be escaped. It wants what it wants, not matter how many walls you build.
"Shuichi, I..."
Want to tell you something. Something about my life having meaning, about how even strongest walls can be felled with patience and perseverance. I want to say something important about sin and sacrifice and redemption and absolution. And if only I could tell you...
Click.
"Get down!" I force Shuichi to the ground probably a little harder than necessary, and crouch beside him. Dazedly, Shuichi tries to get back up, but I keep a steadying hand on his shoulder to prevent him. "Shh."
"But, what...?"
Slowly, sharp footsteps echo in the parking garage. Whomever it is, they're coming towards us. "Uesugi Eiri, come out. We need to talk."
That voice is so...familiar. Laced with an accent... I bend down to peer underneath the car at the man's feet. Shiny black shoes. Why do all government agents wear the exact same shoes? Fuck. Fucking fuck fuck.
"Come out. I'm not going to hurt you. Or Shindou-san, either." A hand comes into view and places a gun on the ground. I'm about to shove Shuichi out of the way, but the gun is kicked, and comes spinning at me. I grab it, and narrow my eyes. I know that voice.
Rule number ten for writers and assassins: No one is ever what they seem.
Ever.
"Stay low," I murmur to Shuichi, and then stand. Exactly as I suspected, the person standing in the parking garage, his hands in the air, is none other than the proprietor of the local newsstand. Tungesh takes a single step forward, but halts when I lift the gun and level it at him.
I hate guns. I -really- hate guns. Nothing good ever comes of using them. First I shoot sensei, then Gabriel, and now...
"Hn. So you're a government agent." No wonder he knew that they were looking for me. But, why would he tell me that? It doesn't make any goddamn sense.
Shuichi pulls himself up a little, and peers over the trunk of the car at Tungesh. "Hey, I know that guy. What's he doing here?"
"Good question."
Tungesh lowers his hands, and I shake the gun a bit, to let him know that's not acceptable. In a show of good faith, he raises them again. "I tried to warn you. I was hoping you'd take Shindou-san and run." Tungesh shakes his head. "I was assigned to watch you, to gain your confidence, but you're not my target."
I get it. "Lampyridae. Uriel. You were spying on me because I'm his ex-partner."
Tungesh nods. "It's unfortunate that he showed up here. The government doesn't officially condone Exile, or any vigilante organization. But, sometimes..."
Sometimes there are people beyond the government's reach. People who need to be stopped, to be brought to justice by any means possible.
"You've got to get out of here," Tungesh says, lowering his hands again. This time, I let him. "In less than twenty minutes, this place is going to be swarming with agents. They're here for Lampyridae, but they're not going to be able to turn a blind eye to any evidence of Exile's existence."
...The record rooms.
Deep in the bowels of NG, there are files. Detailed files. Every mission Exile has ever undertaken. The name of every agent. Pictures of every person I've ever killed. If those are found, I'll be a wanted man, and not just by the cops. Every criminal organization in the world will want my head. I'll be a dead man.
Tungesh nods at what must be my obvious look of realization. "So you see, you've got to get out of here. You and Shindou-san both."
"No." That's the last thing we need to do.
"Yeah." Shuichi finally stands up all the way. "We've got to rescue Seguchi-san. I mean, sure, he's a real bastard, and I wouldn't wish him on my worst enemy, but he gave Bad Luck a chance when no one else would. And..." Shuichi glances at me, "And I know he takes care of Yuki, in his own really, really, -really- weird way."
Tungesh shakes his head. "You're both going to..." Yeah, get killed. I know. I know. "You've got twenty minutes. That's all I can promise."
I incline my head in a nod of thanks. Nonetheless, I'm keeping Tungesh's gun. Or, rather...
Shuichi tugs on my sleeve. "We should go, Yuki."
I look at Shuichi. He's still so smudged and dirty from the fire at Okita's house. I'm sure I don't look much better. He's such a small person, and he looks so fragile. But, he's so much stronger than me. There's never been anything that he couldn't do, if he put his mind to it. Singing. Breaking down my walls. Learning how to...set fires and blow things up.
I finally realize...
He's never needed my protection nearly as much as I've needed his.
I pull the gun out and press it into Shuichi's hand.
"Whoa. It's heavy." Shuichi blinks at the gun, and then peers at me. "Yuki?"
"You can help me, Shuichi."
I've apparently stunned him, because he opens his mouth several times to say something, and nothing comes out. For a moment, I think he's having second thoughts, but he finally says, "Anything. I'll do anything for you, Yuki."
"Good." I glance at Tungesh to make sure he's still listening. "Because I need you to blow up NG."
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In Our Next Chapter: The final showdown between Eiri and Sakano. Will Tohma be saved? Will NG be destroyed? Will the Exile agents prevail? Will Ryuichi take this chance to get revenge on Eiri? And what of Eiri's rival in the author business, Akasugi Naoko, suspiciously missing from this whole ordeal? Read and find out next time! I hope you will!
Author's Notes: Sort of a boring chapter, since it's mostly just exposition of what's been happening over the last six. I really hate writing chapters like this one, which is why it took so long to get it out. I originally meant for this to be the last chapter, but then decided to break it up into two, and put something out instead of wait. I hope you'll keep reading, nonetheless. The next chapter should contain far more interesting bits.
Thank you to all readers and reviewers who continue to give this story a chance, despite it being somewhat of an AU. I really appreciate it!