Authors Note: Set in the movie-verse but very heavily influenced by the character interpretations (especially of Alexander) and other aspects of Mary Renault's books. Oh, and I'm aware that Roxane is actually Roxana in the movie but she just comes across as Roxane to me lol. More angst ahead folks, I'm so sorry! Next one will be happy, I promise!
Characters do not belong to me! Big thank you to the reviewers of the first chapter, it meant so much to me.
The Light and The Omen
The day after Alexander announced he was going to marry Roxane, Hephaistion went riding out in the country. Outside the tall walls of Baktria was a fair, mountainous land where the fertile soil of the mountain ranges faded seamlessly into the Turanian deserts.
Alexander had seen him as he saddled up his horse and swung up onto it and had come over to make protests, "Are you mad Hephaistion? What if you run into the hostile tribes?"
"I'll take some of my men with me." Hephaistion replied. "Euryalus and some of the others want to go hunting. We won't go far. There's a stone on that hill dedicated to Zoroastres. Do you remember..."
"The Prophet, I know. Founder of the religion of the Magi. It was in the Alcibiades. I remember, Hephaistion."
They regarded each other. Hephaistion was silent because he was terrified of what he might say. They had read Plato's text in the Academy days together as boys. They had been slight enough then to still read using the same candle if they pressed together closely enough so Hephaistion's memory of the Alcibiades was convoluted with the sensation of Alexander's thighs against his tingling flesh, Plato's words tangled with the memory of the tightness of his leg as he held it absolutely still, afraid that some slight movement might rupture the magic.
Alexander's own expression was strange. He looked at Hephaistion, then at Bucephalus saddled near the Gate and said, "I wish..." And then the moment past. Alexander looked back at Oxyrates, Roxane's father, waiting for him a little distance away, grinning at them both idiotishly, as happy as if the Gods themselves had stepped down unexpectedly from the heavens to honor him. Which, Hephaistion thought, was probably exactly what he thought had happened to him.
"Be careful." Alexander said at some length. "Be back before nightfall, Hephaistion. I'll be looking out for you."
He was back before nightfall and as he past through the gates of the walled city, the guards saluting him, he had looked up and seen Alexander's head at the window. Some trick of the fire made like radiance his face and hair and just like looking upon divinity, it was too bright to make out his features.
The day Alexander wed Roxane struck a strange note in the company somewhere between cheer and confusion. The soldiers, drunk on wine and the end of fighting, toasted everything and anything twice over. Hephaistion, in the ring of Macedonians, realized that Parmenion's brooding, shut face did not look altogether that different from the Persian General Pharnakes' expression of tightly guarded caution.
A Hill Chief's daughter, Ptolemy had laughed. Not even the Persians had been expecting Alexander to actually marry her. I want sons, Alexander had declared. To join the Asias. Hephaistion who on the night that Roxane had danced for Alexander and Alexander alone and had seen the panther beckon and the lion roar in return, wished he could be more blind.
That afternoon, after Roxane had retired with her women, Alexander had stayed on to drink with them. In the dusk waning into evening, Alexander was resplendent, a vision, and looking upon him, lulled by their drink, even Cleitos, Parmenion, Cassander were persuaded to be merry, or at least to save their belligerence for the cold light of day.
After Perdikklas had wandered off with some Baktrian girl, Hephaistion sat drinking alone. He kept an absent eye on his men who, fired by the wine, had convinced themselves that it was just the right time to start impromptu wrestling matches. Suddenly there was a touch on his shoulder. His heart constricted and he knew without turning who it was.
"Hephaistion?" Alexander asked. Almost automatically Hephaistion shifted over but Alexander did not sit down. "Is the wine good? How are the men doing? I saw Cassander speaking to you before."
Hephaistion opened his mouth to make the correct replies, then all of a sudden the wine must have caught up with him at once because his mouth went dry, the mask fell away, and in his eyes he let Alexander see into the uncovered wound of his soul.
Alexander grew distressed. He said swiftly, desperately, "Hephaistion, listen to me. One can never forget his duty to men, even if that one is blessed beyond measure by the Gods. Hephaistion, you are-"
The rest of his words fell away. On this night, they were both trying to avert omens.
"Great King," Oxyrates' servants had found them. They bowed so low their faces almost touched their knees. "It is time. For the preparations."
Alexander didn't look at them. He continued to look at Hephaistion who confusedly realized that they were now holding hands and that his wine glass had fallen discarded onto the ground somewhere near his feet, the red wine soaking the earth.
"Alexander," He heard himself saying, quite clearly. "I have to give something to you. I will come later."
Alexander said, "Yes. No. Hephaistion."
Hephaistion let go of his hands and pushed him away gently.
The day before they left Babylon he had come across the old man in the market with the tattooed sun on his forehead. He did not speak Greek at all but the boy his son had translated, "This ring from the old land. When we worship a Sun God." The old man had pointed up into the sky, squinting into the bright light. "Greatest of the stars. This ring it has..." And the boy had paused then looked at his father. Something passed between them. The old man nodded, pointing at Hephaistion and the boy continued. "A sigh, how do I say, an auspice. He who wear it must have heart great like a God. Otherwise the ring, it wretched."
"Only to the one like dios, it will cleave?" Hephaistion asked. The boy nodded, pleased he understood. He grinned. "Yes. It will bring luck."
So Hephaistion had bought the ring and the omen both.
In the evening of the day Alexander wed Roxane, he waited until he saw the servants leaving and then he went to Alexander. The stars and the sun. He told the other. You will always be the sun to me, Alexander. They had embraced then, holding each other tightly as if they never meant to let go, and Hephaistion had said all that he would have said outside only this time he meant it inside his soul, because Alexander was truly the greatest man he knew and Alexander would have sons and conquer the world and Alexander's light would continue to fill his days like the sun.
They had broken away then. Hephaistion did because there was one thing more that he wanted to say. He wasn't sure if he should on this day for who knew the whims and jealousies of the Gods? But he couldn't help it, it thrilled from him, and he wanted to be looking into Alexander's eyes when he did so their souls could converse. He opened his mouth and-
Hephaistion would never know afterwards if the intervening God that sent Roxane at that moment was cruel or benevolent, if a stroke of fate had turned the winds, averted the omen. But Roxane appeared all the same, her dark brows drew in, and Hephaistion left them and left the words unsaid.
The night of the day Alexander wed Roxane, Hephaistion returned alone to his room. He did not go to bed but sat on the window ledge and stared up into the dark, empty sky.
No stars, no sun, not for him, not this night in Baktria.
Thank you for reading. I'm thinking of doing some scenes from their youth in Macedonia for the next part, it would be happier at least lol!
Please review and tell me what you think!