Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon

An: There are spoilers for the second season here, so if anybody didn't see it.. Read if you will, but I did warn you.

...oOo...

"It's a heartache,

Nothing but a heartache.."

...oOo...

58. - - At the End of the Day

Four days in total have passed since Mamoru broke up with her.

Usagi finally accepted that fact. She wanted to get back together because.. she loved him more than life, it was simple as that. Of course that meant she went to him, again and again - in a useless try to get something more out of him then just a weak "sorry", but without success.

She thought they were capable of giving each other a new chance to be happy, if only he would talk, spill it all out; she thought she should go after him and convince him that he's wrong, way wrong.

But after this time, after he once again neglected all her pleas and prayers and went away, Usagi didn't think it was fair nor sane to follow after him

She was left standing in front of the door of his apartment, the last time she tried, and although she wished to leave that place, her conscience telling her she should do so - that it was time to move on - she still felt something deep inside of her that made her observe the entire situation again, from the sidelines and not as someone who was standing in the middle of it. She needed to open her eyes and see again without the blinds on.. As she did before.

Because of that, she still wasn't sure why, when Mamoru came in question, she stayed on the beginners side of the door, her hand just a breath away from the knob, floating above but not touching it. Something whispered inside of her, and she pulled her hand back in a hurry as if the knob will burn her palm first and then start spreading on the rest of her body.

Later, in the dead silence of her room, Usagi very slowly and tired from sadness turned her eyes from the window and watched all things in her room, in her life. Unfortunately, every little part, every little trinket holds a memory, bitter or sweet and she feels as if she's reliving her life in that moment. It brings tears to her eyes, but the small picture on her night stand paints a smile on her face...

Because breaking up feels just so - bittersweet.

Usagi stays in that place, in the very center of her room till day turns into night full of regret and touchable feeling of bad things happening because she gave up once again, because she wasn't strong and brave enough to ignore the imaginary burning in her body and grabbed that knob to let herself out of this Hell, this magic circle her life turned into. She caught herself wishing that night would turn back into day, that the time would turn back and she would be given a chance to try anew.

To open that doors of solitude and borders, and go right after him and his refusal, to stop him from being even more distant than he is now and that is making her feel as if he was leaving forever. Now, she wasn't crying anymore, her tears all dried up the very first day, but that awful and always here feeling of loss settled in the core of her for the very last time.

Alone and abandoned - that's what the feeling of loss marked in this moment.

Usagi feared storms since she was little, and now she had one following her in her footsteps, and although Usagi was aware it was only fictional, imaginary storm made of negative emotions, dark corners and lonely islands of human thoughts and hopes, she shrank away from it She knew she won't drown in it, yet.

The storm was patient and it decided to wait for the next best chance to catch her unprepared, because Usagi was ready now and she wanted to storm to sweep her of her feet, and she also knew on the sane level of her mind that she would never, ever give that chance to the storm.

On the inside side of her mind, however, she could not resist thinking that she was already under the surface and that this was what people called floating...

Floating or not, Usagi just like Usagi, trusted her inner self, and didn't think much about her faults and virtues. This day was over and she was done with it. At the end of this day, Mamoru wins again, but tomorrow?

Tomorrow, she thinks and grins from ear to ear.