A/N If you've read Thomas's Rail-tour, you know Ashima's his love in my Thomasverse. If you've read Erica's story, you know he loves Rosie in that one. This story connects those two things together, so to speak. Ashima's scrapping's the backstory for this and the reason for this chapter's title.
Thomas's driver told him, "You've got mail. It's from Ashima."
Thomas said, "I'm chuffed" and whistled happily. Little did he know this was a not so good letter.
His driver held the letter for Thomas to read it. Thomas's thoughts were, No, not my Ashima! She was too beautiful to be scrapped. He could do nothing but cry at the news, wailing sobs and sniffles, his face wet. His driver pressed a cloth to his eyes and did his best to comfort his broken-hearted tank engine.
"There, there, Thomas," he said. "Just cry. You've got the right to it, as much as you want to. Just let it all out.". He softly dried the tears from Thomas's eyes. Thomas, my poor little engine, you can't even speak, he thought.
Thomas let himself cry more, fresh tears dripping and pouring from his eyes like rain.
His driver said, as he continued to wipe the tears away, "You can trust me for comfort when I'm with you and you feel like crying in this time. Just let yourself go and I'll wipe your eyes, as I am now."
Thomas cried and cried and cried until he could cry no more. His driver brushed his last tears away, then his crew gave him a drink and the day went on.
Later on, Edward came to see Thomas and pressed his buffers against his friend's because Thomas had a sad face.
Thomas began to cry, sobbing his broken heart out and sniffling, tears flowing from his eyes without stopping.
"Go ahead and cry," his driver said. "There, there. I know how much your heart hurts." He held a cloth to his engine's eyes, as an act of comfort.
Thomas sniffled again, hard, letting more tears fall. All he could think was his Ashima was now dead, which hurt more than anything since he lost all his siblings.
His driver said, as he continued to wipe the tears away, "I shall never yell at you or tell you to stop crying when you're releasing the sorrow for her. Cry all you feel you need to."
Thomas finished crying after a while. His driver dried his last tears away, then his crew gave him a drink and they got on with the rest of the day.
That night, Thomas cried himself to sleep with his driver's comfort when awake and in tears. As he slept, he had a vision of Ashima, riding The Big Railway In The Sky. She was a good engine, he thought. I never knew she believed in the afterlife until now. We just never mentioned it.
When Thomas woke up the next morning, he was asked if he could work.
"Give me coal and water," he replied. "I want to be a Really Useful Engine, work on my branch line and shunt."
Thomas burst into sobs while waiting for his crew to come. He sniffled, coughed, choking on his tears and hiccupped, gasping and gulping, big, big tears dripping and pouring constantly. I feel dreadful, he thought. Just broken-hearted. I miss my Ashima. Why did someone beautiful have to be scrapped?
Thomas's fireman arrived and saw his engine was sad. He climbed on the tank engine's buffer to comfort him.
"There, there," he said, pulling a cloth hanky from his pocket and drying Thomas's tears. "It's Ashima, right? I know how you couldn't stop crying when you found out she died, yesterday. I wish I could wipe your sadness, so I shall wipe your eyes."
Thomas sniffled, unable to speak from his sobbing. He just let his fireman keep drying his eyes. I quite like comfort when I'm sad and upset, especially if I'm crying, he thought.
His fireman said, as he continued to wipe the tears away, "I know you loved her, so it's too bad she wasn't useful to her railway. That's how I sense you feel."
Thomas's driver had now arrived, so he took over the comforting from the fireman, who said, "I've got a soaked hanky now.". He took the fireman's place, pulled a cloth from pocket and dried his engine's eyes.
"There, there, Thomas," his driver said comfortingly. "I know you're upset and very sad, even depressed over this. We understand that and are here for you in this time of sorrow."
Thomas sniffled again and looked softly at his driver, his heart touched, still too in tears to speak.
His driver said, as he continued to wipe the tears away, "The hurt means you loved her. If you didn't care so much, it wouldn't hurt like this."
Thomas's sobs subsided and his tears slowed to a stop after a while. His driver wiped his engine's face and dapped the remaining tears from his damp eyes. Thomas sighed in relief, feeling better from crying, then his crew gave him a drink and otherwise got him ready for his first job. Thomas was comforted by Annie and Clarabel's kindness and empathy while pulling them, as they knew he was depressed about Ashima.
Later on, Thomas was in Knapford on a siding, with his crew on break. His emotions had built to the point he needed a good cry again, so he let himself go and cried his eyes out, sobbing and sniffling.
Rosie, who was in Knapford Yards, heard Thomas's sobs and left the yard. She told her driver she wanted to comfort her sad friend, so he let her pull into the siding and give him a buffer press. As she did so, she said, "I thought you could use a hug, Thomas. You just sounded so unhappy. Cheer up, Thomas. You've still got all your friends here. I care about you."
Sir Topham and Lady Hatt came to where Thomas and Rosie were.
Thomas, barely able to choke out the words, knew the Hatts were there, "C-can y-you dr-dry m-my t-tears?" he sniffled.
Lady Hatt climbed onto Thomas's running board, walked to his face, took out her handkerchief and softly dried his tears. She said, "I know you're in grief for Ashima. My husband told me just now. There, there, Thomas. Let it all out." She rubbed his cheeks and wiped his eyes dry as best she could. Her husband patted his engine's buffers.
"I'm not always the most emotional," Sir Topham Hatt said. "But I love my engines. You, Thomas, are like a son to me. I want to help you and accommodate your needs." He looked at his wife, who was still comforting Thomas.
Thomas said, in his shaky, sob-filled voice, "A-Ashima w-was m-my l-love a-and i-it br-broke m-my h-heart w-when I-I g-got th-that l-letter a-about h-her b-being scr-scrapped. I-I'm d-depressed o-over th-the s-situation."
She said, as she continued to wipe his tears away, "I know you're fond of me, Thomas. Comfort when you're sad's something I can give you and that's what you wanted. We're all here for you, Thomas. You've got us, your crew and all your friends here to help through your mourning.".
Thomas finished his cry, then Lady Hatt put her sodden handkerchief in her bag and left with her husband. Thomas's crew came back, gave him a drink and they went on with the day.
In the rest of the day and for days following, Thomas released his grief and heartbreak over Ashima with all his friends, including his engine friends, Annie and Clarabel, even his human friends, like Janie on one occasion, offering comfort when he was sad. He cried and sobbed frequently, his tears seeming endless. Eventually, he recovered, as much as he could. However, he would always miss her inside as long as he lived, in a little place in his iron heart. He loved Rosie now, as he had loved Ashima, due to her comfort after his losing Ashima.
A/N My FanFiction buddy said Ashima dying would cause Thomas depression, which is why he cries as he does in this. This story explains why, in another story in my Thomasverse, he loves Rosie.