"Z for Zaphod Beeblebrox" was among the list of potential titles for this chapter, but as I am not sure I spelled it right, it won't be. For a few seconds I also reasoned that it would mean typing extra disclaimers before reasoning that if it was a copyrighted name, the copyright owner is dead; as far as I'm aware, the evil sausage witches of Betelgeuse have not resurrected him.
However, the main reason it was not was that Zaphod does not appear in this chapter.
Chapter Ten: Z for ZedThe NaviCom beeped in rapid succession for a few seconds before displaying the message:
Continental drift occurring at super high speed
………………………
Re-mapping surface
………………………
Re-map complete
Samus did not see the message. A few minutes earlier the warning sirens on Wildfire blared at around 80Db a few seconds before a wandering asteroid hit its hull, knocking Samus unconscious. Wildfire had automatically set a landing course. However, the continent that Wildfire was set to land on had suddenly disappeared.
Wildfire altered the course for a small island in the middle of the new ocean. We shall get back to the island later.
For now I would like to mention that if Wildfire's onboard computer had a human body, she would have shrugged at the fact that she had detected several large eddies in the STC (space-time continuum). However, if she also had a human mind to complement her body, she would be getting very worried.
Eddies, for those of you who have not taken a 23rd century astrophysics lesson like me (or, like me have not taken a 23rd century astrophysics lesson), are basically holes in the STC. They are similar to wormholes in that they can transport a person, car, sausage or small green fury thing from Alpha Centuri, from point A in space-time to point B. They are normally caused by the Q - who mortals are not supposed to know about - or more often they are results of the timelines adjusting.
The term 'eddie' was unwillingly first used by a small fury thing from Alpha Centuri, who, on noticing one at the edge of his vision, was run over by his friend Edward Petitfur IV. The term travelled down the wormhole-esque phenomenon and when someone the other end saw it and asked it what it was. The word 'Eddie' written in something similar to Comic Sans MS floated out and dematerialised into the vibrations in the air which matched a semi-drunk Frenchman saying the words: "This audio phenomenon is brought to you by MWBC." followed by a short pause and then an Alpha Centurion saying, or rather screaming the word "Eddie" as if he were about to be run over by his friend Edward Petitfur IV in a Fusion Roller™ (steam rollers are like so cliché/last millennium/coal powered/boring/insert adjective here).
Anyway, back to the island. In the time I was doing all my encyclopaedic defining, Wildfire had landed on the island I was going to get back to. It was not the largest island in the ocean; about the size of a dozen pitches for which the sole purpose of which is for playing the old Earth game football, which died out toward the end of the 21st century when the English team Aston Villa held the record of 15 years best team in the world. Because of this, everyone else got bored.
The island was on closer inspection actually two islands connected by a thin wooden bridge near sea level that was supported by dangerously placed rocks. There was also a rope bridge connecting the two islands' mountains about 100m above. This seemed the only way to reach the forest, to which I will come back to later, at the summit of the larger island.
On the major island was a small village which consisted of a few buildings, one of which was situated half way up the mountain and seemed to have a garden full of large black pigs. If Samus was conscious at this point, that would be all she would see as Wildfire descended into a clearing in the forest that I couldn't be bothered to stay away from.
The forest was in the crater at the top of the mountain and the bridge that connected it to the other mountain was broken in the middle; the perfect hiding place for a spacecraft.
A few hours passed before Samus came to. She looked out of the two inch glass that separated her from the outside world. She saw that she was in some sort of forested area. Looking closer, she saw that it was in a sort of crater. Checking the NaviCom she saw that she was about 150m above sea level. She pressed a button on her chronograph and her suit formed itself around her. She stepped into the circle and the circular iris door above her opened. She was lifted up through the open hatchway and jumped out onto the planet's surface.
Her danger meter reading zero percent, she performed an atmospheric scan and got Wildfire to cloak itself and hover above the island and map it for her.
The monitor inside her helmet read:
O2 - 21
CO2 - 0.01
N - 79
Taking off her helmet and retrieving from it the NaviCom Mini she stored in the pocket behind the head, she retrieved the transmission from Wildfire of the map. She displayed it with the small touch screen pane of thin, hologram projecting glass in her hand.
She planned out a route to the outside of this cave from the hologram and stored it in a slot in her left arm. She pressed a button in her helmet and it dematerialised.
On exiting the cave she saw just how isolated this island was. It was like an iceberg in the middle of a clear blue sea.
She also noticed that the bridge that was her only way down was broken in the middle and that in the village at the bottom of this mountain people were gathering, pointing in her direction. She quickly activated the cloaking device, thankful that she had allowed the GF techs to add it to her suit and Wildfire.
After a while of deciding on how to get down, she decided to risk crossing the bridge. She could jump the gap; it was just a question of whether the bridge could support the impact.
It couldn't.
The look on the villagers' faces was that of surprise. Samus could not see this as she was submerged a few metres underwater. She surfaced and swam towards the shore. Standing up now she disengaged the cloak, looked at the villagers and received a transmission from Wildfire.
"Just thought I'd tell you that I've detected a large eddie in your region," said the synthesized monotonous voice of the computer. "I am adding its location to your map."
It was located on the other side of the village.
"I detect that the other end of it is in the same location about a thousand years in the past"
Samus saw the eddie. It was a purple leather sofa and it was coming her way. For some reason she sat on it as it came into close proximity.
A few seconds later she disappeared, much to the surprise of the villagers, and sailed yesterwards on the sofa.
A little old man walked out into the middle of the confused people.
"Sturgeon," he said "my fellow Outset Islanders, does anyone have any idea what happened there?"
He stepped out only because the metal woman rang a bell in his mind.
His name was Orca.