Swallowing the Sun

1st Sunrise: New Dawn

With the way things were right now, the least thing she can do was cry but even doing that hurts like hell. Her breathing was becoming shallower, her eyes blurry and the noisy world became nothing but white silence. The only thing that remained in the sudden stillness was the weakening heartbeat in her ears.

It was disquieting.

But the silver lining in this situation is that her Mom and little brother was safe. Safe from what she is experiencing right now.

I'm dying.

This thought should have sent her into hysterics like any normal human reaction but all she had for it was a bone deep comfort.

"Emi! E-Emi, please st-tay with Mom. It won't be long; the ambulance and the police are gonna come to take care of you and that b-bastard." Emi knows that her dear mother knows that it won't be long until she kicked it. There were three holes in her stomach and a good few others. And it was what? A good 10? 15 minutes? She doesn't really know how long it has been since she was peppered with bullets by the shitty alcoholic stalker who just won't leave her Mom alone. The teen knows that she had lost far too much blood and still is losing blood to survive this whole ordeal.

"I'm sorry, please stay, I love you. Please d-don't- I still need you baby girl!" Her mother was crying and really pale, desperately pushing down at the three bullet wounds that was left in her stomach.

"Emi! I'm sorry! Please s-stay alive! I swear I won't h-hide your guitar picks and eat your desserts a-anymore! J-Just―" Ken, her usually stoic ten years old little brother wailed and her heart broke from seeing the pain she was causing them, but it can't be helped, what's done was done.

Today was supposed to be a happy day. With just the three of them going out on her favorite Italian restaurant, shopping for new language books and that little metronome keychain that she saw on her favorite music store and then after that, the three of them got home with one gallon of her favorite ice cream – double dutch it has to be double dutch – eating it while they lounge on the sofa binge watching some Ghibli films together.

They've planned how it would all go three days prior but then the asshole has to barge into their home today and start causing havoc. Today of all days in the calendar, he has to go ruin a perfectly set happy day with his trigger-happy alcoholic self.

What a complete ass.

She's slowly fading, she could tell that much. But with all of her being she can't really feel any remorse of taking all of the bullets, to not be the one who has to be left behind, to not be the one to bear the pain of living with guilt, to bear the responsibility.

She knows that she was being selfish in that respect and the selfless act she did was nothing more but a huge farce to make her feel better about not having to face the aftermath of the mess.

She stared at the blurry faces above her and ignored the tears – not her own – that was dripping down her face. With much difficulty, she forced her facial muscles to move, stretching her lips widely as iron tasting liquid dribbled down her chin.

Emi smiled as much as she was able to mouthing the words she wants to say (because she somehow lost her voice in the process of dying) to that two people who had been constant in her life. After that tiring act, her mind begun to buzz, miraculously taking in one clear look of the beautiful face of her Mother and the snotty face of her little brother before her eyesight became dark, her shallow breathing became completely nonexistent and the feeling of pain becoming nothing to the pleasant numbness that was taking all over her body.

The scream that came from the crying woman and the heart wrenching wail from the boy was lost on her as she fell to what could only be a long-lasting slumber.

"I love you both, take care of yourselves and… I'm not sorry."

Well, it was long-lasting until the time Emi woke up from shrill cries and hurried movements.

Waking up again was a slightly slow process on her part. Light slowly filtered in then the silence was replaced with a buzz, her skin stung, like ants were crawling all over her body, her nose itched with the different scents that was completely new (and also not) to her that came out of nowhere. It made her whimper and her blurry eyes watered. It's disorienting, but soon enough Emi managed to get a hold of herself.

She can see the light but that's all. Everything was noisy, muffled voices, footsteps, clinking objects and the distinct sound of what could be a machine. Her skin wasn't on fire anymore, but it was cold, too damn cold for her liking. The air carried a clean scent along with the smell of iron that she became far too acquainted with.

She was being carried, the hands were far too large and it terrifies her.

What?

It's a very valid question all things considered. She just died after all, not too long ago.

Confusion filled her entire being and she tried to voice it out only to get a gurgle. A gurgle that she was very familiar with when Ken was still just a little gremlin nipple sucker. She tries again. And again. And again. And again.

On her nth try to articulate words a shrill cry came from beside her. Emi tried to turn her head, she really did, but it was too heavy.

The thing, no, the baby, beside her continued to wail and her brain halted.

NO―

A mesh of emotions ran through her, too fast for her to completely process. Grief. Sadness. Guilt. Mortification. Anger. It mish and mashed together inside of her, churning, twitching and mixing together into one pile of gnarly emotional ball.

(Then, then―)

She cried.

"Congratulations ma'am your twins are healthy as can be."

Emi cried even harder.

Rebirth. Reincarnation. Re-embodiment.

Or any other word that can be synonymous to re-freaking-birth. It was a bizarre thing to think about and Emi never really put much thought of it other than a fleeting concept that she once or twice had thought in one of her daydreaming sessions.

People often glorify death. What comes after it, what would happen to your soul and all that fancy shit. Heaven, hell and the in between. Nirvana and the perfect paradise. Humans had come up with all these concepts and the basis of it all was how you have lived your life when you were alive. It was strange.

Emi had never really thought much of it until now. Now that she's a baby again, it goes without saying she has a lot of free time to make an assessment of it now, given that she's awake to give much thought of it.

Maybe she's going into shock or just wasn't taking it all in yet, but she felt no panic now. Emi had always been great at adapting, born and bred of having to tiptoe her way from her alcoholic stepfather and protecting her baby brother as much as she can from his biological dad. The eight years of age difference made it easier and the fact that the divorce went through before Ken had hit three was a welcome one.

Emi vaguely remembers her own father, the way she had inherited his blonde hair and a pert nose. His soft baritone as he tells jokes and something about his work. She remembers his death bringing her to tears and snot while her mother nurses a broken heart.

Her Mom is really unlucky when it comes to finding love. After five years of loneliness, her Mom decided to find a new partner in life, not only to cure the ache but also to help raise Emi. The man (Emi refuses to name that filth) wasn't bad at the beginning and that time Emi thinks that he would be the one to make her Mom happy again. But then the man started showing his true colors but it was too late, they already gotten married and Ken was well on his way to being born. It all started when the man had lost his job, he started drinking and it all went down from there. He started hitting Mom and her whenever he's one of his moods.

Observing and adapting according to the situation. She'd always been good with that, coming from constant practice of trying to avoid and redirecting confrontation from her useless poor excuse of a substitute father.

Or maybe it's because of her passiveness were in play in all this. Her Mom had often praised or complained about it, being that Emi's usual reaction was to smile serenely, owning up to her namesake. It was a mask that she had perfected all too well for the sake of getting most of the drunken annoyed swats of the scumbag in order to keep her baby brother (who's actually a baby at that time) safe and to give her Mom some help in getting evidence on the man's abusive behavior.

It might have not been the greatest idea but she managed to record it all in a camera that she had sneaked into the closet. It got the divorce hearing finally moving, the man out of their home and in jail for child abuse.

If you're wondering about how their neighbors hadn't taken actions well frankly, that's because they don't really give a crap or was just too afraid to open their mouths. Case in point of her death, her stepfather owns a gun and just pointing it to anyone would get them all to shut up.

She doesn't blame them for their inaction nor does she harbor any bad feelings towards them. They were just all minding their own business and trying to get by with no unnecessary hassles.

Right now, all she can feel was acceptance towards her new life. Sad? She's grieving. Confused? Fuck yes! Angry? Maybe a little to the ones who decided that she retain her memory but that would just soon fade away. She's not one to hold a grudge but when she does, it depends on the slight towards her or the person she cares about. But all in all, she had accepted the twisted hand that fate had dealt towards her.

Now, she just needs to adjust accordingly.

A/N: Heya! I've just recently gotten into this fandom and my fourth story to be officially posted. I hope that it isn't so bad for a first chapter and hope that y'all stay for more of this. I really enjoy this series and I just want to give some love for its greatness and I do hope that the people reading would enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing it. Sorry for any grammatical and spelling errors to this day and to the oncoming future because English isn't really my first language but I will still try my best to do what I can.

Next chapter will reveal who her twin would be, feel free to guess who it is.

See ya next chapter~