I did it. I did something important. I became bigger. I hadn't thought of drugs or anything really since Claire's baby was taken. I just had to get him back. I did.
Charlie looked up at Jack and Kate. The little baby was in his arms protectively. The child had stopped crying and was actually sleeping. Sweat dripped down his face and his shirt was soaked. He was pasty and his eyes were red rimmed and running. Charlie had been going on pure adrenaline. However, now that everything was back to 'normal', the adrenaline rush was over and everything was happening at once. He was starting to feel extremely sick and he hurt so badly. He was also feeling exhaustion from everything. Charlie knew he would collapse where he stood if they did not get back to the camp soon.
"Are you sure you don't want me to hold the baby? You look exhausted Charlie," Jack tried.
Charlie looked at Jack and nodded his head. "Yeah. Not only because I'm tired, but because I don't want to drop him," Charlie whispered in a hoarse voice. The crazed and determined look in his eyes was gone. It was replaced by tiredness, pain and a distant look that was from nothing but the withdrawals. Slowly, he handed Jack Claire's baby.
Jack was surprised that he convinced the young man. He had expected him to say no. But as he took the baby in his arms, Jack studied Charlie's features closely. He looked like he was on the brink of collapsing.
"Come on, we're almost there. Lean on me," Kate said and offered her arm to the young man.
"I'm fine enough to get there on my own, thanks," Charlie whispered as he trudged onwards until nightfall, when they had reached the edge of their camp. The man could not go on any longer. The pain was so severe and his withdrawals were so horrible and exhaustion had taken over that with his last step, he just collapsed to the ground.
Kate let out a sigh of exasperation as Charlie collapsed to the ground. "Oh - you are such a stubborn git!"
"Here, you hold the baby." Jack said and handed the baby over to Kate. He then leaned down and scooped up the unconscious young man. "Come on." he said over his shoulder to Kate and they walked further into the camp.
Charlie did not wake as Jack picked him up. He was shivering uncontrollably and his legs jerked spontaneously.
Kass heard commotion a little ways away. She shifted and tried to peer out the tent, but she could not see anything.
Claire heard the commotion as well and stood up. "I will be back," she said to Kass absentmindedly and then walked out of the tent. What she saw made her eyes to round like saucers. For a second there, she was frozen in her place, but then she snapped out of her shock and ran to Kate, or more specifically, her baby.
"Don't worry, he's here now. Charlie got him back," Kate said soothingly to the distressed mother and carefully laid the bundle in Claire's awaiting arms.
Claire looked at her precious baby with her eyes full of tears and she held him close. Oh thank God, you're safe. Thank God, Claire prayed with relief. She lifted her teary gaze up to look at Kate and smiled. "Thank you," she breathed.
Jack took Charlie into the tent Charlie called 'home'. He propped the man up so that he was comfortable and then checked his wound. The cloth around his the wound was soiled and the wound on his neck from the hanging was not too bad. Jack laid a hand on Charlie's sweaty forehead, he had a small fever, but it was nothing to worry about. The sweating was more from the withdrawals than his infection.
Jack stood and went to the medical tent. He got some painkillers for the general aches, antibiotics to make sure his infection did not get worse, Diazepam for anxiety, Methadone to trick Charlie's brain into thinking he was not off heroin and clozapine to calm any paranoia he might feel. The doctor also got fresh dressings, alcohol, washcloth and a bottle of water. He went back to Charlie's tent.
He took Charlie's shirt off carefully and unwrapped the wound. It was healing nicely and it looked like there would be a full recovery. He then poured some water on the wound and whipped it dry. After this was complete, he put fresh dressings on it and washed Charlie's chaffed neck with alcohol. Pouring one of each pill into his hand, he helped Charlie get the medicines down and then left.
Back outside, after few minutes of making sure her baby was actually here and proving to herself that she wasn't dreaming, Claire looked around her, eyes searching for someone. Not finding that person, Claire turned back to Kate and looked at her with a frown. "Where's Charlie?" she asked.
"Jack has carried him back to his tent. Poor guy was exhausted and injured. He was too stubborn to ask for help, so in the end, he collapsed right after we'd reached the camp," Kate explained.
As her brains absorbed the information, Claire held her son closer to her chest and hugged him as tight as she could without suffocating him. She thanked whatever the gods up there that were listening for bringing her baby back to her safely. "W-Will he be allright?" she asked the brunette hesitatingly.
Kate smiled. "He's a tough guy. Something tells me that we will not be able to get rid of him that easily. Plan him to be around for a long while," The woman said. With a wink, Kate walked back to her tent, leaving the happy, though confused young mother behind with her son.
Claire started in the direction of her tent, but then thought the better of it and headed towards Charlie's tent. She needed to make sure the young man was all right. When she arrived there, she just stood still and watched the young man. He looked quite terrible, but the up side was that he was still alive and just sleeping or so she thought. Claire walked back to her tent with her baby clutched safely in her arms.
A day and a half later, the worst of the withdrawals happened with Charlie still unconscious. It was night and the full moon was out. There was only one person up and at Charlie's side – Claire. The sweat was pouring and he was jerking. His face twisted and, luckily, he was on his side because he began to vomit.
Claire jerked awake. Her gaze fell on the vomiting young man and her instincts kicked in. Which meant that she was starting to panic. Quickly taking a few breaths to calm herself, she stood up. Claire still did not know what to do. "Charlie?" her voice contained worry and the sounds of barely controlled panic. When the young man did not answer, she tried again. "Charlie?" Again was her voiced laced with worry, but now the panic in it was clearly audible. The young man still did not answer, nor gave any indication that he had heard her. Claire knew there was only one thing she could do. Get Jack. "Hang on, Charlie, I'll be right back with Jack," she told the still vomiting young man. With one last look at Charlie, she quickly ran to find Jack.
Jack was in his tent with the little baby John Locke had dubbed Laurie. He had found a bottle in the wreckage and some powdered milk. He had heated some water and made formula for the newborn, which the doctor was feeding. The doctor looked up when Claire came towards his tent, but he did not say anything.
"Jack! Something's wrong with Charlie," Claire rushed, out of breath.
The doctor stood instantly and rushed to Charlie's tent. He handed the newborn too Claire along with her bottle. Then, he checked the man over. Slowly, he leaned back on his heels. "He's going through withdrawals from heroin," Jack said, giving Charlie his meds after finishing throwing up, "There is not much I can do for him. This is a critical time right now. To tell you the truth, he might not survive this either because of an accidental overdose when he had his last fix or from his body just shutting down from not having any heroin. I am doing all I can do for him. You need to keep an eye on him. Can you do that Claire?"
Claire blinked and then nodded. "Yeah, I can. I will," she said, while trying to absorb the information. Claire did not know what fate was playing at. After all that has happened in the past few days - after close call meetings with the death, after Claire just realized that she wasn't angry at Charlie and actually never really had been. Charlie might die. She might lose him after all. What was fate playing at? Was life really that twisted? Would the higher beings up there in the heaven really be so cruel to take Charlie away from her? They can't do this to her!
Jack stood up. He took the baby and the bottle from Claire. "I will come check on him in a few hours. Come get me if anything worse happens," Jack said as he walked away.
With a sigh, Claire sat down on the box next to Charlie. Her mind started to drift back to her last - not so happy- reunion with her mother.
"Why won't you help me, mom?" Hurt could be heard in Claire's voice.
The curly blond haired woman with brown eyes threw her hands up. She looked angrily at the blond. "Why should I Claire? You can't hold a job. You are not responsible and you're self-centered! I don't know who you are anymore. I did not raise my daughter the way you've grown up," she shouted at her.
Claire shot up from the chair where she was sitting on and shouted back. "Well maybe if you had paid more attention, you would have known!" Claire started to pace. "You are always so busy with your own life, have you ever paid any attention to mine? You don't understand me! You never did!"
"Oh, you want to think that, don't you? Well go right ahead. I understand you a lot more than you think you did. I am not going to watch you make the same mistakes I did. I am not going to watch you throw your life away, as I did. Leave Claire. Do not come back. You know where the door is." The woman pointed to the door as she stormed out of the living room.
Claire followed her mother with her eyes trained to the floor. Right before she went out of the door, she raised her tears filled eyes and looked her mother straight into the eyes. "Don't worry. You won't have to face your mistake ever again. I won't come back," she said coldly and walked away, not once turning around.
Claire had never seen her mother again since that day. Her mother never called either. After a while, Claire got over it and moved on with her life or so she thought. Because right now, sitting here next to the comatose young man, she strongly wished that her mother was here to support her. If she was going to make it out of this alive, the first thing Claire will do is to call her mum and mend things with her.
Claire looked at the unconscious man next to her. She absentmindedly stroked his forehead. "You know Charlie, I've forgiven you. I'm not mad anymore. I understand you. Maybe I don't understand the whole situation nor do I exactly know how you are feeling, but I generally understand. I understand why you didn't tell me, because placing myself in your situation, I wouldn't have either. Charlie, yes, I do know how it feels to be disowned by your own mother," she whispered to him. Claire continued to stroke his head. "Please Charlie, be strong. Get better soon. I need you in my life. We need you in our lives." Claire was quiet for a few moments. "Me and the baby need you. Me and Aaron need you. Please wake up soon. Fight..."
For two days more, Charlie was comatose. Jack worried about him. He was afraid that his body was shutting down because there had been no heroin in his body for nearly four days, infection and sepsis had set in, or he had indeed overdosed. However, neither of those things had happened. Charlie slowly awoke on the sixth day of not having had any heroin in him. The morning was cool and crisp and no wind stirred as Charlie did. Slowly, Charlie blinked and looked around. He saw someone he never expected to be by his side.
"Claire," he whispered, licking his dry lips. He had stopped sweating profusely around midnight the night before and his eyes did not run anymore. Once in awhile, his legs or arms still jerked, but it was not as bad. The pain in his abdomen, it was only from the wound, not from his stomach twisting up in knots, causing vomiting, as it had the night before.
Claire blinked a few times and yawned. Her mind was fogged with sleep and she shook her head to clear it up a bit. Then she suddenly realized why she woke up in the first place. Someone called her name. Someone of whom she thought would never wake up again. Someone she'd missed dearly. "Charlie?" she asked uncertainly while turning her head in his direction, fully expecting to see him still in his coma.
Charlie smiled weakly. "Claire," he whispered. His voice was rough and very weak, "I…didn't expect you." His words faltered and faded. Charlie looked at his stomach and winced. He remembered on bits of what happened, and he did not know what the last four days had been like.
"Oh Charlie, you're awake," Claire exclaimed softly. She wanted to run over and hug him, but didn't want to risk the chance of jolting his injuries. So instead, she decided to get Jack. "I'll be right back!" she informed Charlie and ran to get Jack.
Slowly, Charlie nodded. "Apparently I am," he whispered tiredly. He watched Claire go off to find Jack. The man sighed and closed his eyes.
Jack was taking care of Laurie. A frown was on his face. She was crying and feverish and he could not figure out why. The doctor looked up when he heard someone running to him. He stood instantly and placed Laurie in her crib. "Claire, what's wrong," he asked.
"Charlie! He's awake!" Claire cried, sounding out of breath. She pointed madly in the direction of Charlie's tent while taking deep breaths to calm herself down. "He just woke up and called my name. I didn't know what to do! I wanted to hug him, but I dunno if he's allright. Is he allright? How are his injuries?" Claire rambled.
"Slow down Claire," Jack said heading out of his tent, "I need to look him over before I can say anything. It's a miracle that he's even awake." The doctor strode over to the tent and knelt by the man. "Charlie?"
Charlie instantly opened his eyes and looked up at Jack. "Yes," he said. The man watched as Jack looked over everything. He nodded as he looked. "Everything looks fine. You'll be up in a day or two. You should make a full recovery." Charlie smiled at Jack. "Thanks. Can I be alone with Claire, please," he asked. Jack nodded and left. The recovering druggie pushed himself into a sitting position and winced a little.
Claire shuffled on her feet, feeling nervous all of a sudden. "So," she started conversationally, "are you okay?" Claire winced at her stupid question. Of course, he wasn't okay, he just woke up out of a coma, for goodness sake! She cleared her throat before trying it again. "I mean, eh, how do you feel?" Geez, Claire really felt like putting her foot in her mouth today.
Charlie watched Claire shuffle around and stumble over her words. "Sit," he said to the woman, "You're making me nervous." Charlie sighed and bit his lip as he thought about the questions. "I'm alive. I feel pretty stupid right now – I always do after," he admits, "I want a hit more then anything. I'm not going to hide it. But, I'm not going to take any." There was a small pang over the bridge of his nose. To relieve the pain, he pinched the spot. "There are more important things in my life. When your baby was taken…I was so scared Claire," he whispered.
Tears filled up in Claire's eyes. She didn't know what to say. She was just speechless or maybe it was the fact that her throat was still sore from the running she did to get Jack and back again. Either way, she was speechless.
"Oh, Charlie." she whispered. She really did not know what to say. So she said the first thing that popped into her mind. "Don't be." Yep. Definitely putting that foot in her mouth. "I mean, don't feel stupid." Ah well, now she'd started anyways "Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has secrets. I think I understand that." Claire sighed and stretched her stiff neck. "I'm not mad anymore, you know. I guess, I just want to know more. Not about why you didn't tell us, because I think I can understand that part already. But tell me more about yourself." she said softly.
Charlie shook his head. "No, Claire. I don't feel stupid about the drugs. I regret ever taking them, but I don't feel stupid. You don't understand," he whispered. Sighing, the man thought how to put this. "I tried to kill myself a few years ago. I slit my wrists. I survived. I'm not the suicidal type Claire, except when I am in the middle of withdrawals. I get violent and usually I hurt the first person who is around me. Then I hurt myself. I left so I would not hurt anyone…so I wouldn't hurt you. But, anyways, I feel stupid for trying to kill myself." He stopped and gave a soft chuckle when he heard she wanted to know more about him. "That might take awhile."
"We've got time. On this bloody island, we've got nothing more but time." she smiled sadly. "So, go on."
Charlie laughed. "You sound like me," he said licking his lips and he began to tell her the story of his past – starting from the beginning and coming to the present, so that he did not leave anything out. By the time he had finished the sun had long set.
Fin