Now, if I told you that I owned Rurouni Kenshin-that would make me a liar. Too bad, ne?
Anyways, I apologize deeply for the wait on this chapter... I had a lot of tests and reports to do, so that ate up a lot of my free time. Please forgive me!
I also hope that you all will not be displeased with this chapter. MindIIBody had this great idea for Ayame's past that I just had to write it. X ) I'm setting the stage for the beginning of the end, so to speak-so this chapter is the first of a few necessary for this. Also, to clarify a few things-those who guessed Jin-e for the cloaked figure from the last chapter were right. The only reason I am divulging this is so you won't confuse him with my newest bad guy in this chapter. I'm sure you'll be able to guess this one easily.
--Chapter 11-My Sorrow Follows You to the Grave-Ayame's Past--
Everyone rode on in silence, leaving their Okashira to ponder over what that man had said. Darkness was fast closing in on the riders, the moonlight encased their forms in silver beams-enabling them to be able to see well enough to carry on a few more miles before they stopped for the night.
No one was sure who the cloaked man had been, but the few who had guesses kept their suspicions to themselves. Ayame sighed as she surveyed the path ahead of their group. It seemed to be free and clear, no signs of traps or traces of ki presented themselves to her keen eyes. No sense in taking chances though. Better to stay alert than to fall into a trap without warning.
An hour or so later brought the group to a halt to make camp. Ayame barely bothered to help Han'nya with the horse before she took her pack and began to settle down for the night. She glared at the woman-child who had the audacity to ride with her Aoshi-san yet again.
Apparently, Aoshi-san wanted her to sleep close by. She sniffed as she noted that the weasel wasn't going to complain. Finding a comfortable spot on her pack, she closed her eyes and soon fell asleep.
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Midnight was peaceful and quiet for a change-but for some reason, Ayame still was not able to find peace in her fitful sleep.
--Ayame's Dream Sequence--
Ishikawa Ayame surveyed herself in a small handheld mirror. Everyone, including her ex-lover had told her that she was beautiful… If that was true, then why did he leave?
They say that eyes are the windows to the soul; if that were true, then her soul was torn between anger and hurt. She rubbed the gentle swell of her stomach pensively. No one had noticed yet, but once they did... well, there would be hell to pay.
Since Ayame originated from gentle birth, being the daughter of a rich daimyo (1), she was destined to wed in an arranged marriage and kept 'clean' at all cost. Her father would never forgive her for her crime of shaming the 'family's name.' Thoughts of what he would do to her once he found out flowed through her mind, and the mental picture in itself was not pleasant. She sighed softly then gently put the mirror down, she had no regrets as to what had happened. If there was one, then it would only be because he had regretted their relationship.
Ayame was no fool, she had known that he hadn't truly loved her. Not now, and certainly not then. He would always moan out another woman's name during their consummating, never were they her name. Shrugging carelessly, she guessed he wasn't over his old flame. However, tonight, he would love her. She smiled happily and wrapped her arms about her still slim form that contained her miracle with him. A child was what she was about to offer, something that no other woman had yet given him. Ayame briefly wondered about his past lovers…did they ever receive such a gift from him? She shook her head in dry humor as she thought about it. This was the Okashira of the mysterious Oniwabanshuu they were talking about, and he had a reputation to uphold.
A smile played about her full red lips as she tried to envision his reaction to her exciting news. He would be hers, she was sure of it especially now that his child grew within her womb. He was an honorable man and despite how much she hated to use it against him-Ayame knew that she would have to do it. Even if he didn't truly love her, she knew he would come around sometime. Who wouldn't? She was lovely, and was gifted in many things…Ayame was known to be the one of the most desired females amongst society. So who in their right mind wouldn't want to marry her?
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Sneaking out of the house proved to be no problem for her at all; she was gifted for her sneaky ways and was blessed with great friends: her servants. Slipping out of the house's ground and down the street like a shadow, she hastened to the Aoi-ya.
Ayame was not afraid of the noises around her since they were simply a part of the night. The only thing she worried about were the beasts who paraded about as men in the night. Her grip on her hidden shikoro tightened, if need be she could defend herself. Even so, she didn't want to run into trouble, or else this night would prove to be fruitless-Ayame wanted Aoshi to know as soon as possible. Walking at a faster pace, she clung to the shadows that fell from the roofs and projections of the houses that lined the road like silent sentinels. 'Almost there.'
A few more streets and a couple of turns brought her to the front of the Aoi-ya. Walking up to the back door in a more discreet fashion, she tried to calm her nerves. She smiled, many memories were here-and not just the food eaten during conversations.
Taking a deep breath, she gave a few swift taps on the door with her knuckles. One of the women whom Ayame recognized as one of the waitresses answered it, looking slightly tired. Ayame knew that they didn't go to sleep until much later on in the night, so she decided not to worry about the woman's state. "May I ask if Aoshi-san is here?"
"Yes, did you wish to see him?" the woman asked, her face showed signs of concern for a slight moment. Ayame almost doubted that she had seen it.
"Yes, I wish to have a word with him about urgent matters."
"Hnn..." the woman looked thoughtful, then resigned, "Follow me."
Ayame silently padded down the corridor after the woman as she led the way. She stopped as the woman paused and slowly slid open the shoji (2) to reveal a rather disturbing sight. Ayame gasped silently at the scene inside the room, on the futon (3) lay her Aoshi-san with a young woman, their position was that of an intimate one. Ayame could barely discern whether it was the tears of hate, rage, or pain she felt-but what she did know was they were welling up in her jade eyes at an alarming rate. Swallowing a lump in her throat whether from rejection or hurt she did not know, she then heard herself ask raspingly, "If I may ask… Can you tell me that young woman's name?"
"Oh, Misao-chan?" the woman looked surprised. "You didn't know about her?"
"I do now." Ayame said quietly, softly sliding the shoji closed. She turned and bowed, "I am sorry for disturbing you. If you would be so kind as to not mention my visit, I would appreciate it." she stood up straight and noticed the woman's confused look. "I wouldn't want to disturb Aoshi-san, as I won't be coming here again."
She turned and silently walked out, her head held high and her heart breaking. So this was what it was like to have loved and lost.
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The next day, she packed her bags and secretly left Kyoto with the promise of never returning. Ayame swore to herself that she would always hate the woman who had taken her love from her. After the experience of last night, Ayame knew she would never be able to bring herself to return to this heart-wrenching place. Even though she was a strong woman at heart, that couldn't made her resilient to the scene she had stumbled upon last night. She wasn't strong enough to see her lover in another woman's arms. Although Ayame considered herself above most women and not to mention people in particular, she couldn't deny the fact that she was only human. There was no other reason to explain the ache of rejection in her throbbing heart. After all, this was only natural for her to feel this way…right?
After she left, Ayame felt herself painfully lonely. Her parents spared no further thought to their daughter thanks to her rebellion by stubbornly refusing to give up the baby when it was time for her to give birth-as they wished her to do. No sympathy was given to her for all of her pain and effort. Over time, she felt her heart start to freeze over, and for the first time in Ayame's life, she knew what Aoshi had gone through when he was with her. The consuming feeling of emptiness she possessed…it was similar to the aura he always carried. How ironic that she was never able to comprehend his feelings before now. Despite how much she wished to come up to Aoshi now and tell him of his child's existence inside her womb, Ayame would be all in vain.
It was probably the baby's fault she finally had grown a conscience, but for some reason Ayame didn't seem to be angered by it. In fact, her pregnancy helped her open her eyes for the first time in her life, in the first time of her life she saw the world not as below her, but as her own. Ayame never harbored regret as to meeting Aoshi, nor did she ever wish ill-will upon him. One of the many reasons she didn't want to go back to Kyoto was because of the happiness he now possessed. She was no fool, that night before Ayame left, she saw his peaceful expression as he lay besides the small women next to him. Even after their late nights of passion, he never possessed such a calm and almost happy expression before. Jealousy filled her as she thought of it-but she could not blame him. He had been searching for what his heart yearned for, as she once had. And for that, she could never bring herself to blame him, but that didn't mean she could not hate that girl, Misao, for stealing her only chance with Aoshi.
In time, she bore a son and named him after his father. If she couldn't have been married to him, at least she had a son that would carry on his name. Her heart tore every time she looked at her child. He looked just like his father except his eyes were a greenish-blue, lacking the icy luster of his father's eyes.
Time passed and her son celebrated his first birthday, and while she celebrated a time of joy, Ayame also suffered under sorrowful news. It was being rumored that the legendary leader of the Oniwabanshuu and his pregnant wife had been murdered.
Even with all of her hatred for that woman, Ayame never wished for her death to be the outcome. Losing Aoshi was bad enough, but the thought of never being able to hear or even see him again on this living plane was unbearable-she felt like her heart was being torn out again. The pain was slightly dulled by the knowledge that she at least had his son to remember him by. Maybe she will be able to recreate his legacy with this babe, despite being so young, the child carried much promise to be as strong and handsome as his father once was. So that night, as Ayame cradled her child to her chest, she sobbed quietly.
--End Ayame's Dream Sequence--
Ayame woke up early in the morning with a start, her mind confused and bewildered by the dream. It was not every night that one would find themselves in such a realistic dream. Deciding to take a walk to clear her mind, she set off. A few miles away from the camp, she stopped and stretched-enjoying the cool breeze that toyed with her long ebony hair.
"Feeling confused? It happens to the best of us." a somewhat pleasant voice sounded nearby.
Ayame immediately whirled around to the direction of the voice, her shikoro out and ready. If the case came to it, she'd maim the poor bastard who disturbed her moment of peace.
"Not a very trusting woman, are you?" A tall man smiled down at her. "I'm not here to harm you. On the contrary, I'm here just to talk."
The woman glared at him, distrust written clearly in her jade eyes. "What do you want?"
"To help you, if you allow me too of course." His eyes gleamed behind his glasses.
Sheathing the shikoro, Ayame crossed her arms over her chest, "What business do you want to 'help' me with?"
Suddenly, he was behind her and Ayame inwardly shivered as he put his hands on her shoulders, leaned down and whispered, "With your dreams."
"What would YOU know about my dreams!" she snarled angrily, twisting out of his grasp with a quick and fluent jerk. Turning her enraged jade eyes towards her intruder she listened to what deranged excuse he might have.
"Simple. My seer does that for me, if I pay her enough." he smiled, a slightly crazed glint in his eyes. "What do you say?"
Ayame looked up at the sky and gauged that she would have a few hours at most. "If I come, then you will have to be quick about things. I do not like the thought of spending more time with you than necessary. Is that clear?"
"Don't worry, it will only take a little while." he promised as he turned to lead the way.
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Ayame sat on the ground, staring unimpressed at the man's seer. 'Great, just great, I came here to seek answer but only to find a hag who has yet to do something else more conductive with her time.' she thought. Due to her disappointment, Ayame allowed her thoughts to wander as the seer had already questioned her-supposedly probed her dreams by drawing her blood and placing it into a large bowl already filled with a lot of liquid. Though the liquid looked suspiciously like water, Ayame wasn't about to test it.
The old woman mumbled some things and tossed a few herbs into the fire, filling the area with many different odors. Some pleasant, some pungent, some bitter-sweet; Ayame couldn't yet decide whether it smelled good or not.
"You're connected." the seer announced.
"What?" Ayame sat up straight, "By what exactly do you mean 'connected'?"
The seer looked at her as if she was about to explain something slightly complicated to a child. "Your group and that man," she pointed to the figure standing by the fire, "were reborn into this age and time. Each and every one of you is linked somehow, from your past life. You need to remember your previous life to find peace in this one. Learn from your mistakes, create a new-a better, happier life."
Ayame stared, "Past life? As in reincarnation?" she questioned in disbelief.
With a careless glance at the words being told, she stood up and brushed grass and dirt from her clothes. "Had I wished to listen to such nonsense, I would have done it on my free time."
"You know she's telling the truth. Don't try to run from it, your past will always catch up to you." the man stated calmly.
Ayame glared before turning around and heading back to camp. Hopefully no one would question where she had been. Her emotions and memories were in a state of turmoil at the moment. Feeling somewhat discomforted, she couldn't shake the feeling that coiled deep within her-foretelling of a future meeting with that mysterious man….
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Kenshin opened the letter his wife had handed to him earlier that day. He was surprised at the seal; it was one he hadn't seen before. Opening it, he scanned the first few lines before letting the letter drop to the desk.
Kaoru slowly creaked open the door to her husband's study, balancing Kenji in her arms. She noted the look on her husband's face and grew worried. "Are you okay, Kenshin?"
"Hai." he replied, bringing himself back to the present. It seemed more and more like he was being pulled back to the memories of his past life-something he grew to almost hate. There were parts of it he didn't mind, such as Kaoru and Kenji's past selves-but when he had to remember being Battousai... he was unwilling to be pulled back into that. His current life had been bloody enough without that one added to.
Also, there were things from his past life that he wished he could leave in the past.
It seemed that he wasn't done being punished yet.
Heaving a weary sigh, he bottled up those emotions quickly as he felt his wife's concern radiating out from her petite body. "Sessha is fine, that he is. There was just some unexpected news."
Kaoru raised an eyebrow, looking skeptically at her red-headed husband, "Unexpected news that you would rather not share with your wife but are too polite to say so?"
Kenshin raised large violet orbs to gaze at her. Rurouni rule #1: When the subject fails to leave the topic alone, play innocent.
"Don't you give me that look, Himura Kenshin!" she glared at him.
He sighed inwardly. Rurouni rule #2: When the subject fails to accept the innocent look, placate them and smoothly change the topic.
He raised his hands and waved them in front of his in his typical placating gesture, "Maa, maa, Kaoru-dono." Kenshin paused to sniff the air tentatively, "Is something burning?"
"Ahh! My pies!" quickly depositing a surprised Kenji in his father's lap, she hastened out of the room.
The fiery haired man chuckled as he held his son, "And finally, Kenji, Rurouni rule #3: When the subject fails to do both one and two, find a chore that needs to be done (preferably going to market) to escape constant questioning."
His son gazed up at him with bluish-violet eyes. Kenshin smiled down at him, "In time Sessha will teach you this."
Kenshin's gaze drifted back to the letter. Reaching out, he folded it neatly with one hand and slid it inside his shirt. While Kaoru was a wonderful wife, she was nosy to a fault. He chuckled at the thought, then wandered off to the kitchen to see if his wife needed any assistance.
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--END NOTES--
(1)- A daimyo is a powerful feudal ruler, the Japanese form of an English castle's lord if that helps you any.
(2)- A shoji is a room divider or a sliding door.
(3)- A futon is a Japanese mattress, they're flat and able to be rolled up and put in a closet, etc.
Thank you, everyone for reviewing this story and having stuck with it this far. : ) I never thought I would write this much for it.
This next part is for Kelly, who pointed out that I had neglected to give the meanings of the Japanese suffixes and a few words that I put in. If I forget to put something in, please feel free to point it out. I also apologize for having forgotten about that…
-chan--a suffix you use for young children or to show endearment for friends, family members, etc. and so forth, means along the lines of "little"-which is why Yahiko always blows up at that, lol. ;)
-san--a polite suffix for people you doesn't know very well or to show respect, usually people translate it as Mr., Ms., etc.
-kun--a suffix typically used for boys (though I have read things where that rule isn't followed….) who usually your own age or you feel that you are equals.
-sama--an extremely polite suffix used for people who are important or very well respected, not much used nowadays.
-dono--Kenshin uses this… very archaic-consider addressing someone as "My Lord (insert name)" or "My Lady (insert name)", that is basically what Kenshin is doing. This shows his humility.
Sessha--this was translated in the manga as "this unworthy one" or "this one" supposed to show humility.
Arigato--thank you, or thanks.
Gomen nasai--means I'm sorry, to say gomen is more of a casual way to say "sorry"
Hope this helps you!