How Do I Look
A/n: Any wierdness is probably due to an uncooperative computer.
Ch. 2: All Eyes on Me
And it won't take long to burn,
Through the nothing that you've learned,
And the things you choose to be,
All eyes on me.
-All Eyes on Me by The Goo Goo Dolls
"You have a date with Gordy tonight in case you forgot or were planning to stand her up or something."
"I know," Snape said, turning away from the mirror to face the boy who had addressed him. "How do I look?"
"Your normal amazing self," Remus said without looking up.
Snape put his hands on his hips and pouted. He had only spent thirteen hours as Sirius, seven of them devoted to sleep, and he had already adapted quite nicely. He was particularly pleased about getting to go on Sirius' date with Gordy, the pretty Ravenclaw girl Snape had had a crush on since second year. 'You didn't even look Lupin!"
Remus looked up. "My name is Remus, but if you'd prefer you may call me Moony. And why should I have to look?"
"I could have horrible acne and scars all over me!"
"But the fact is you don't, and I knew you didn't because you were looking at yourself in the mirror for about a half an hour and you didn't scream in agony."
"Well fine! I'm going to have breakfast with Gordy"
"I'd wish you luck, but I'm sure you don't need it."
"I'd accept it anyway,"
"That's okay," Remus said as Snape walked down to the Great Hall, anticipating breakfast with a girl who was looking for a body not a personality.
0o0
Sirius had only been in Snape's body for thirteen hours and he already thoroughly hated the hell he was living in twenty million times more than he did when it all started. When he returned to the Slytherin Dormitories he was assaulted by Aubrey, McLaggen, and Belby. Sirius, absolutely furious and in the worst mood of his life had figured he could take them. Of course he didn't account for the fact that Snape's wand didn't work well with his body or that Snape won duels with his wand because he didn't have much physical strength.
After being bodily harmed by three boys who were considerably bigger than him, Sirius went to go find Snape and get his wand back, but the Fat Lady wouldn't let him in. "But I have the password!" Sirius shouted angrily and desperately. "Turnips! I know that's right!"
"There's no need to shout young man," The Fat Lady said indignantly. "You may have the password, but you are clearly a Slytherin, your robes show that, and you're not allowed in here!"
"But I have the password! You have to let me in!"
"Then the passwords changed."
"If you knew who I was, you'd let me in!"
"I do know who you are! An annoying Slytherin boy who needs to go to sleep."
"No! No I'm NOT!" Sirius yelled and was about to go when he saw James walking out of the Portrait Hole.
"Prongs!" he said with relief.
"What do you want Snivellus? And since when did you call me Prongs?" James demanded pulling out his wand and narrowing his eyes suspiciously.
"No, no, Prongs, I'm not Sna-" Sirius started by was interrupted by a red-head who probably thought she was helping.
"What are you doing, James?" Lily demanded.
James instantly put down his wand and tried to look innocent. "Nothing!"
Lily crossed her arms over her chest, but all she said was, "C'mon, we have to do rounds."
"Coming," James said, following Lily after giving Sirius a funny look.
"Damn Evans!" Sirius muttered walking back to the Slytherin Dormitories. "I never liked her anyway." When he got back to the Boys' Dorm he lay in bed planning his horrible and oh-so-sweet revenge on Snape and how to get James to hear him out."
0o0
Sadly, Snape wasn't really going to breakfast with Gordy. Instead, he was going to find Sirius to get his wand back. After James came back from his Head Boy rounds with Lily saying that Snivellus had called him Prongs, Snape had set about finding and/or inventing a potion and/or spell that would prevent Sirius from recounting freakish memories that could convince James that he really was Sirius, the Freak. Of course he didn't have the greatest of luck with the spell, but he did make some headway with the potion.
When he found Sirius he grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into an empty classroom. "What did you do to me?"
"I really wanted to put your hair in pigtails and walk around in a skirt or something, but I don't fancy getting beat up for that. You really are a pathetic fighter, you know," Sirius said smirking. "So how do I look?"
"Awful!"
Sirius pretended to look hurt. "You don't like it? I had to take a shower in your body; do you know how disgusting that is?"
"You may not want to hurt your perfect body, but I don't care whose body you're in, I will kill you!" Snape snarled.
Sirius backed away from Snape realizing that that would be a good solution to all of Snape's problems. "All I did was wash your hair!"
"And cut it! And why are my eyes-purple?"
"Well actually they're a lovely shade of violet."
Snape growled and Sirius backed up again against the door and put his hand on the handle. He never realized how formidable he looked when he was mad; it wasn't really all that attractive either. "Give me my wand!" Snape snarled.
"What? Why would I-oh, yeah, here," Sirius said giving Snape his wand and holding his hand out for his own. As soon as he had his wand in his hand, he turned and tried to leave.
"Not so fast!" Snape said spinning Sirius around and pointing his wand at Sirius' throat. Sirius swallowed in-fear? Fear? He was scared of Snape? This was so wrong. "Don't even think about convincing Potter or any other of your freaky friends, or I will kill you."
"I'm not scared of him!" Sirius tried to tell himself, but somehow it wasn't coming through. It really wasn't pleasant to think of himself dead while Snape lived out his life in his body. "But I'd've convinced them already."
"So I'd tell them I got back and killed you in revenge."
"You don't know enough about me."
"I'll force the memories out of you before I kill you. It might not work, but it's worth a try don't you think?"
"Alright, I'll keep my mouth shut. And I'll tell everyone someone else made me look nice. Take credit for it, that's what I'd do. Can I leave now?"
"Go!"
Sirius took two steps out of the room then turned around. "Why wouldn't you just kill me?" he asked before walking away.
Snape thought about that for a couple of seconds the came up with the answer. "I couldn't be Black. I couldn't be friends with Potter. I couldn't be friends with a werewolf."
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