Chapter 12

"Jesus Christ, Mr. Dawson you must have totally lost your mind." Rose gasped and leaned over the box he was holding in front of her. The golden necklace was covered in at least fifteen diamonds, radiating in the darkness of the room. She could see he was nervous, droplets of sweat were starting to form on his face. Downstairs, guests had started to arrive and were impatiently waiting for the bride and groom to be to show themselves. In a moment of panic Jack had collected Rose out of her room and walked with her towards the library where he wanted to show her the perfect gift for his future wife. His gesture of love was packet in an everlasting material. Diamonds were forever therefore their love had to last too. Rose traced her fingers over the necklace and stared at it in disbelief.

"You don't like it?" Jack asked worriedly as he was not able to read her facial expressions.

"Violet adores diamonds." She stated softly, "I am more into emeralds."

Laughing nervously, Jack closed the lid and put it away. Glancing at his reflection in the mirror, he could barely recognise himself. Rose then appeared behind him and placed a gentle hand on top of his shoulder. The feeling of her soft touch on his body froze him into place. "What are you so afraid of, Mr. Dawson?" She asked him. In all honesty, Jack was mostly afraid of his own feelings. It was the constant confusion that tormented every part of him every moment of the day. But he could only shake his head and shrug his shoulders. "Nothing." He muttered.

It wasn't the right moment to interfere with his inner emotions. Despite her notion that something was bothering him, now wasn't the right time. Music was already to be heard from the garden and the string Quartet was playing most of Violet's favourite songs. Rose took back her hand, his back was still facing her.

"The whole fuss will be over before you know it, Mr. Dawson. I will see you in a minute." She closed the door behind her. The sound of her heels tapped softly onto the wooden floor. The rhythm of her steps made the fabric of her dress sway behind her. Turning the corner, she walked onto the porch and gazed over their whole backyard. It was packed with people old and young. Most of them she knew, yet many of the relations of Mr. Dawson, she had never seen before. It didn't take long for Jack to follow along. Violet hung on his arm like a diamond herself. She was smiling in a way her sister had never seen before and it looked kind of sickening.

After a while of awkward conversations with most of the older people, Rose caught her friend in the far distance."I saw Mr. Hockley just a minute ago." Wendy walked towards her and placed a glass of champagne into her hands. Rose rolled her eyes and took a big sip.

"Mother has invited him." She groaned. In the background Violet was holding a speech but both girls couldn't be bothered by it. Slowly heading up to the far corner of the garden, they disappeared behind the bushes. As usual when no one was around to judge her actions, Rose took a cigarette out of her bag. "I bet she is up to something."

"You don't say," Wendy giggled, "But would it be such a bad thing? He is handsome and excruciatingly rich."

"I know," Rose responded plainly, "It's just that he is almost too charming, you know what I mean? I believe he could be nice to have around for a day or two and then I'd be bored out of my mind!" The sound of clapping interrupted their conversation. They stopped for a moment and peeked over the boxwood. "Speaking of the bloody devil." Rose hissed and ducked down. Throwing her cigarette to the side she could hear footsteps coming from behind them and within seconds Caledon Hockley showed himself into the dim light. As always, his charming demeanour was impossible to avoid. His hair was perfectly slid back and his suit was cut in a way it showed off his fit physique. Rose held her breath for a second, hoping she'd disappear.

"Miss Jones, do you mind if I steal miss DeWitt Bukater for a moment? They are about to play a waltz."

"Of course not, Mr. Hockley. Rose never wants to miss a waltz." Being taken away from her safety net, Rose turned around one more time and gave her friend a burning look whilst mouthing a simple I hate you.Wendy laughed and waved until she was out of sight. Caledon Hockley had his fingers intertwined with hers and pulled her close to him. The smell of cologne, mixed with alcohol and tobacco did not fit him in the slightest. It did not suit him the same way it suited him. When he swirled her around the dance floor in the same manner as he did the evening of her debutante ball, Rose's mind drifted off to that one time Jack danced with her. Looking over Cal's shoulder, she captured his silhouette. He was talking to her father, his gaze serious and his posture well mannered. Then she caught his eyes. She smiled at him and secretly hoped he would save her from this torture in the same way he had done before. Yet, Jack Dawson did not exactly interfere in the way she wanted. Seeing the velvet box he was now holding in his hand, she knew the moment had come. Jack didn't even wait for the music to end to call for the guests attention once again. Reaching out for Violet's hand, he watched how everyone stared at them.

"I actually wanted to wait until later in the evening," Jack spoke out loud, "But I simply couldn't wait." His words soon followed by gasps of those around them. Violet had her hands in front of her mouth as she leaned forward to inspect the necklace he was showing. He took it out and gently put it around her neck. Catching the expression of her mother, Ruth wiped away a tear. Rose was simply mesmerised by the ludicrousness of this whole event. In a way the necklace fit her sister like a second skin. Violet was meant to live in a world full of wealth and luxury. At times like these she thrived like no other. Over the years, some people had even called her the princess of the east side and Violet also believed herself she was just that.

"Your sister is quite the tough one, miss DeWitt Bukater, if I do say so myself." A voice spoke behind her as everyone was still fixated on the couple.

Confused, Rose turned her attention to the man that stood behind her. She recognised his face, one of Jack Dawson's closet friends. He had his arms crossed with a glance in his eyes filled with disbelief. "Pardon me, sir?" She asked.

"To save his family from financial ruin. I do think it's quite brave of miss Violet to marry a man who only wants her for her money, but on the other hand, in our world, who even marries for love?"

"What on earth are you talking about?"

He remained silent for a moment and scratched the back of his neck."You didn't know?" An anxious laugh escaped his lips, "Does miss Violet even know the real reason he wants to marry her?"

His words hit her like a streak of lightning bursting through the surface of the ocean. Her heart shot up to her throat, making it hard to breathe. In the end, it was a business proposition after all and his words meant nothing. Rose felt dizzy from the anger that was building up inside of her and within seconds she dropped her glass of champagne onto the floor. People who were standing nearby looked at her in annoyance. Her hands were trembling and she kneeled down to pick up the remains. Like a whirlwind Caledon Hockley came to her rescue. Being the gentleman he was, he helped her up and steadied her on her feet. "Are you all right, miss?" He asked whilst tracing the back of her arm.

She nodded her head. "Yes, thank you, Mr. Hockley."

"You look rather pale."

"I am really doing fine, sir." She tried to brush him off. Unfortunately, he was not the only one who's attention had been caught. Through the busy crowd, Jack marched forward until he was standing next to her. His presence made her head tumble once more and she suddenly felt sick to her stomach. Before Jack was able to speak, Rose had already freed herself from the situation and managed to rush back inside the house. A presence followed close behind her and she fastened her pace until she able to hide herself in the drawing room. "Go away, right now!" She yelled at him as he came inside.

"What on earth is going on?" Jack asked worriedly.

Rose's face had turned completely red with anger. "I knew it, I simply knew it and you promised me that it wasn't true!" She marched through the room, pointing her finger at him. Jack tried to calm her down, but it was simply impossible.

"Rose I.."

"Don't you dare call me by my name you unimaginable bastard." She spat at him, "Just as I was starting to see the good in you sir, you absolutely blew it. I shouldn't have let myself be intoxicated by your pretentious charm."

"Can you let me explain for a moment?" He desperately through his hands up in the air, "It is not what you think."

"I believe it is exactly what I think. I think you are still that self-centred man I heard talking to his friends that night at that restaurant. The disrespect you beheld in your voice is still inside of you. Are you really too proud to tell anyone the truth? That your family is on the edge of bankruptcy and you only want to marry my sister to save you? You've had every opportunity, Mr. Dawson, to be honest about the whole situation, yet you chose to lie! You chose to promise me that you wanted to marry her for love!" Silent tears were rolling down her cheeks.

As if his was possessed by a devil, Jack spoke words he did not want himself to say out loud. "Why do you care so much about her in the first place and the life she lives. Look at how she treats you! And you want to protect her still?"

"Are you seriously getting angry with me for wanting to protect my sister?" She scoffed.

"What goes on between me and Violet is none of your concern!"

"Of course it is my concern for she is my family!"

A loud banging sound was heard from behind them, catching them by surprise. "What on earth is going on here?" Violet burst in and scanned her eyes around to inspect the scene "I can hear you all the way from outside."

"Nothing." Jack mumbled and started to head towards the door.

"Well you have to eventually tell her, Mr. Dawson, so why not confess now?"

"Confess what? Can someone tell me what is going on here?"

"Well dear sister, did you know that your fiancé…"

With a fast rage and fury, Jack twisted around and stormed at her. "Can you for once not try to ruin everyone's life with your pretentious rebellious behaviour? You always have to prove you're quite something different and better than those around you, just because you're so miserable with yourself." A deadly silence followed afterwards and a burning feeling of regret started to rush within him. Rose tried to gasp for air and looked at her sister, hoping for perhaps a single glance of solace for the hurt she felt. Violet's glance remained at her feet, ignoring confrontation at all costs.

"You know what," Rose chokingly said as she slowly came to the conclusion that Violet would never be on her side, "you two actually really deserve each other." She then turned away from Jack, tried to collect her senses and walked away. Music burst through her ears like a bomb and her head felt like exploding.

As the couple stayed in the aftermath of the fight, her voice cut through the horrible silence "I'm so sorry for what she just did Jack." Violet had tears burning in her eyes, "I can't wait until we are finally away from her." Jack wasn't physically able to respond to her remark. He straightened his back, trying to collect his thoughts. Violet took a step closer towards him and took one of his hands in hers. "I don't know what she was up to, but she only does it because she is jealous of me and what we have. She has always been jealous of me, because she has always tried to be who I am and it's something she can't obtain. Therefore she has become so reckless and rude. But sweetheart," She placed her lips onto his and kissed him with all the passion she had left in her body, "we won't let her come between us. We are stronger and wiser." She kissed him again and he was forcing himself to smile.

"I am sorry." Was all he said. It wasn't only this moment he was sorry for, but also for the mess he had put himself into. He was too weak to admit it, he was too much of a coward to confess his true feelings. Jack's thoughts drifted off to tonight. The moment he was alone with her in the library. Those moments when there was nothing but only the two of them were the moments he felt himself to be at his best. He was happy then. Only happiness was what he could think of. As he still felt the soft touch of her hand on his body he regretted what he hadn't done. Kiss her. In the deepest part of his heart, Jack wanted to turn around and feel the softness of her lips onto his. Rose was the curse of all his most inner desires. The main subject of all his thoughts, both good and bad. He had wanted to kiss and touch her so many times before, but he was too powerless and now it was too late. He had broken their promise and spat words he didn't mean at her like a hell fire. Slowly accepting the fact that he had to live with all the consequences, he guided Violet back to the party and tried his hardest not to burst out in tears himself.

Rose was nowhere to be found. Like a phantom, she had disappeared into thin air. Only finding comfort in her own company, she had locked herself inside her room and turned her inaudible tears in to loud sobs. She was in an indescribable pain. Everything hurt all at once and she was desperately figuring out what did the most. For years she felt as if she had been standing in the middle of a crowded room, screaming at the top of her lungs and no one looked up. No one cared or noticed the constant agony she was in. And as time moved on, things only started to feel worse.

Looking outside of her window, everyone looked so small and null. But their laughter and bright conversations made them sound like the rulers of the world. It was a world Rose no longer wanted to be a part of. And if a caterpillar could turn into a butterfly, she thought to herself, why not her? There had to be a place on earth where she truly belonged. Trying to calm her nerves, Rose dried her eyes. She saw them through the fogged glass doing nothing but pretending to be as happy as they could be. Stepping away from the misery, Rose took off her jewellery and rang for Trudy to get her ready for bed.

The following week both sisters did not share a single word. Trapped inside their own chimeras they managed to pass the time without being in each other's way. At the dinner table, both girls managed to keep their attention to their parents, who, to their luck, hadn't noticed anything about their silent quarrel. It was only until one morning, as the three ladies of the household were having their daily cup of tea, Ruth cleared her throat and looked at them both. "Violet, you're taking Rose into town tomorrow for her dress fitting."

Both their eyes shot wide open and Rose quickly put her drink aside. "I can go alone, mother." She stated.

"Absolutely not."

"Why not?"

"Because it is your sister's wedding and she needs to give her approval."

"And why can't you come."

"Because I am having lunch with Mrs. Dawson," Ruth sighed and shook her head, "girls, I don't know what is going on between the two of you, but you've been acting extremely strange since Violet's engagement gala. Has something happened?"

"No. Nothing has happened, mother." Rose muttered. Violet had her head lowered down and was aimlessly stirring her tea around. She didn't say a word either. She and her fiancé had also decided to stay silent about the incident. Pretending as if nothing had happened, they continued with their preparations for their special day.

"Good," Ruth spoke to her daughters,"Then I don't see a problem."

The car drove in front of the house just after two in the afternoon. As Rose stepped in, Violet had already taken het seat onto the leather couch and took a look at her clock.

"You're five minutes late." She stated and looked Rose up and down. "Is this what you are wearing?"

"For heaven's sake Violet," Rose rolled her eyes, "I'll be wearing that hideous frock for the next hour or so, therefore is doesn't bloody matter what I look like."

"And just like mother said, it is my wedding so you won't have any say about the design or fit. Am I in anyway unclear?" Violet sounded just like their mother when she was angry. It sounded scary even.

"Your wish is my command, sergeant."

"I just don't want you to ruin this like you've been trying to ruin any other aspect of the wedding. Your jealousy is actually starting to look really pathetic."

"Oh get off your high horse, please!" Rose burst out laughing, "Why on earth would I be jealous of you?"

"Because you can't have what I have. You've never been able to reach to my level and you cannot stand it, can you? You say that you never wish to be like me, yet you use it to mask your jealousy."

"And to think that I wanted to protect you," Rose's heart was beating so fast she could almost hear it, "I was so wrong."

"Protect me of what?"

"That man! But I've come to the conclusion that your characters are quite alike. And if you must know, yes I might be jealous of one thing; your ignorance. The fact that you are so oblivious to what is happening around you and to really believe that he loves you."

Violet twisted her head to the side and raised her voice. "Take that back! Of course he loves me. Why wouldn't he love me when he has told me many times that he does."

Rose bit the inside of her mouth and continuously nodded her head. "I don't want to talk about it anymore," Her voice had softened, yet it was filled with pain and exhaustion, "I simply can't talk about it anymore for it doesn't even matter what I say, no one wants to listen to me. No one has ever wanted to listen to me in eighteen years and I am done. I am so done with all of you."

"Maybe we are also done with you." There was no emotion in the tone of Violet's voice and perhaps that was what hurt her most than the actual sentence itself. For Rose, those words falling from her sister's lips didn't come as a surprise. For years, she had noticed it in the smallest details of her family's behaviour and now it was finally spoken out loud. A sigh escaped her lips. "Good," she said, "That was all I needed to hear."

As the car took a turn to the right to enter a new street the following seconds happened so fast it was impossible to comprehend. Bright lights were followed by complete darkness and Rose could hear the driver screaming something as loud as possible. How was it possible to feel everything yet nothing at all? The pain was followed by numbness and then numbness was followed by pain again. It was a strange feeling to drift away into nowhere.