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I touch your skin lightly with the tips of my fingers, watching closely for the dull, pearly-white tone set against my own darkened skin. My palm follows, tracing the contour of your shapely muscles; for all the times I've seen them rippling under your skin as they moved purposely… they're still now, a spell on them. When you slept, I used to do the same: my fingers would move on their own until your nerves reacted, a spark of motion just to let me know you were aware of my presence.
I think I always knew. When you glanced at me from under half-lidded eyes, when you smirked, when you shrugged at my questions. And I remember that one time when I fell asleep on your shoulder.
Uneven breathing…The curve of your lips…
That warmth in my chest, that bubble…
…
"Wake up, Sora."
Wake up. But it's you who's asleep now. And I have no time. No time and a lot of regrets.
"Wake up, Riku." My fingers stray over to your lax hair, brushing at the silvery strands. I always did like your hair, probably because it set you apart. Mine and Kairi's, and Selphie's and Tidus', and even Wakka's hair were awfully common. Unoriginal. Dull. But your head always glinted in the sunlight and I was at all times enthralled by it.
Enthralled by you. Yet, it was never enough for you, because you knew there could be something greater for the two of us. Why settle with the 'what ifs', when we could have the real thing? You were right, of course. But it'll never be more than a 'what if' now. Not for us.
"Riku." I hold on to your name, because that's all that is left now. Your name and the memory of your eyes.
I turn to the physician, my hands clenching into fists, short nails buried in the flesh of my palms. I open my mouth hoping my voice won't crack.
"It's him."
The man nods once and starts to pull the dreaded white sheet over your marble-like features. I turn to flee from the white room, fumble with the doorknob and run. I keep running down the hallway, outside, across the street, across the city. Are you waiting for me somewhere? Yes, you used to wait for me all the time, if only because you always got there first. And now you've beaten me again, Riku. But this time nobody won.
I stop when I reach the promenade that leads to the beach. The color of the sea is alluring as ever. Again I'm reminded of that time when I feel asleep on your shoulder and woke up in your arms.
"I'm awake now, Riku," I comment to the sea, but the breeze carries my words away. Maybe, if the breeze is strong enough, they'll reach you. So I speak again.
"It'll be the last time, I promise. Wait for me and then…" I pause, because my vision is suddenly blurred. "We'll go together."
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