Chapter 14

Eternal charm whirled around him like a god among mortal men. Caledon Hockley believed himself to be the healer of young Rose's pain. Stopping by every single day, spoiling her with flowers, gifts and strolling her around the garden and neighbourhood, people had of course formed their speculations. For a young and fiery character like Miss DeWitt Bukater, Hockley was the perfect match to keep her tamed. Rose looked down at her lap as he pushed her wheelchair forward. Her head felt heavy from his endless chatter about his family's self-made paradise. And in a very subtle way she believed she could hear him speak about her inclusion. The wife of a steel tycoon, his property and object of outwardly desire. It was the definition of her biggest nightmare, yet she had inflected on herself and only to vex him. As Jack headed out of her hospital room, Rose was still able to see his facial expression when she mentioned Mr. Hockley's name. His lips thinned and eyes shot open wide. It amused Rose for a second, but that amusement didn't last long. Mr. Hockley was a tiring man. His arrogance radiated from afar but so did his charm. Ruth was one of those infatuated by his presence. Walking up the window from the library and staring at the two from afar, she let out a deep sigh.

"Wouldn't they make a brilliant couple, Mr. Dawson?" Ruth turned her head and stared at her future brother in law. He was sitting behind the oak wooden desk and looked up from his paperwork. Of course, he had noticed them roaming around in the corner of his eyes and it had taken him every strength in his body to ignore it. Jack felt as if he had been floating between two worlds, not often recollecting which one was reality. Perhaps in a different world with better times, he had made the right decisions.

"I don't know Mr. Hockley well enough to make that conclusion, Ruth." He said.

"I think he might be the perfect person to put her in her place. Rose has always been this raging storm of impulsivity and she needs someone to keep her grounded."

Jack stood up and joined her at the window. Scanning her face from afar, he could see the emotional misery she was in. Her expression was empty and like a ghost, she was staring straight through him. Rose only nodded at moments it was completely necessary. All he wanted to know was why? Why did she want him to visit her in the hospital, why did she want to initiate what started to look like a courtship? "Don't you think she needs someone to let her rage on whilst keeping her safe?" He then asked.

Ruth raised an eyebrow, confused by his sudden observation. "Rose needs to learn how to properly behave in society. She needs a husband to keep her in check for I cannot take it anymore. You are a lucky man, Mr. Dawson. From the moment she opened her eyes, Violet has always been so good. She doesn't need someone to protect her from herself. Rose does. She needs a strong man to keep her standing."

He felt a sickening feeling entering his stomach. "You know, Ruth, when I was around ten years old I went to a zoo once. They had a lion there. Big and loud as it was, they kept it inside of this extremely small cage. And when I looked at that animal all I could think was: What a pity they cannot let that majestic animal live as it is supposed to live. He died two weeks later. Some say it was old age, but I believe it was because of pain and loneliness."

Ruth suddenly felt uneasy as she let his words sink in. There was a firmness in the tone of his voice. A lecturer scolding his pupil. Then they remained silent and kept staring at the scene playing in front of them. As Jack's mind started to drift off to an illusion that was never going to happen in the reality of life he saw a painful transformation unfold in front of him. Her fake smiles and nods had come to an end. Rose's now leaning forward in her wheelchair and buried her face inside her hands. Then, as she pulled herself back up and saw her fingers and arms were covered in blood. A piercing throb could be felt in her head and she let out a shriek. Alarmed by her cry, Jack unlocked the door that lead to the garden. As he approached he could see Cal leaning over her. "I am sorry for you, miss, but you're getting blood all over my suit." His words reverberated through the air, making Jack anger boil to the core. "You back off!" He snapped at him and pulled Cal away from her.

"Don't you dare speak to me like that, boy!"

"I can speak to you however I like!"

"Shut up!" Rose then yelled, "The both of you leave me the hell alone." Peaking at her mother who stood lifelessly behind the two fighting men, she shook her head. Tears had started to drip down and blend in with the blood. "Please, leave me alone." Her words now sounded desperate, as if every bit of power had been taken out of her body. Her emotional pain seemed grander than her physical pain. Trudy came rushing out of the house, pushed herself through and brought her mistress back to safety. Then between her loud cries, Rose tried to search for air. Even breathing was hurting so much that she couldn't think straight.

"You are all right, miss. I am here with you." Trudy tried to calm her down by stroking her hair gently. In the background she could hear the footsteps of her mother coming closer. Rose shut her eyes, not wanting to look at her. For the first time she felt afraid. Afraid of her own body and afraid of everyone around her.

"The doctor is on his way." Ruth informed the maid. Then, she allowed herself to face reality once again. The abrupt silence seemed to calm her nerves and it was now only herself and her physical discomfort. Trudy guided her to the drawing room and shut the door behind them.

The events of that afternoon still haunted the young man's mind for longer than he wanted to. Every single moment of the day, Jack believed himself to go totally crazy. In a way, he believed himself to be the lion from his metaphorical tale. Locked up in his golden gate with the world at his feet, he watched how the gate closed onto him.

Taking a sip of his glass of wine, he tried to keep his attention on his aunt. Agatha Dawson had invited him for lunch at their favourite spot in Philadelphia. Even she had the impression of a change in her nephew's behaviour even though she wasn't around him as much as she wished to be. Jack couldn't keep it in for a moment longer, despite how hard he tried. For his aunt, the words that fell from his lips, put the puzzle together. She now sensed that it was not the flower of modesty that had captured his heart, but the flower of beauty and courage. Nodding her head, Agatha spoke from her heart.

"Do you have feelings for her sister, Jack?" Not responding to her question, he ripped a piece off his bread and crammed it inside of his mouth. Agatha kept her eyes glued onto his every move, making him feel more uncomfortable than he already was. "I am asking you a question."
"What difference does it make?" He smashed his hands against the table.

"Hey," Agatha hissed at him and threw her arms up in the air. "I come in peace. I am not blaming you or judging you for anything. I just want to know what's going on inside of that head of yours."

"Nothing is going on inside of that head of mine."

"Don't give me that kind of bullshit, Jack. I have known you longer than today and I can see that you are not happy. You haven't been happy ever since Geoffrey passed away, have you?"

He hated how she had always been able to look straight through him. Without a word being spoken out loud, Agatha could feel her nephews most inner feelings. Agony and frustration was all he radiated, not a single grin could be seen on his face. "Perhaps you have found a form of happiness," She continued her speech, "yet it is unrequited?"

"She hates me." He whispered underneath his breath. "She wholeheartedly despises me."

"That can't be true."

"It doesn't matter, Agatha. I've come to the conclusion that I must live with the choices I've made."

She laid her hand on top of the table and took his into hers. "Can't you just tell her?"

"She wouldn't believe me."

"Why not?"

Taking another drag of his drink, he shook his head. "Because she found out I only wanted to marry her sister because of the money."

"Good god." Agatha gasped.

" I've tried to love Violet, I've really tried. I thought it would be easy, just as it was with mother and father, but it isn't. Jesus Christ, it really isn't."

"And it won't get any easier as long as young Rose walks around the earth. My dear boy," A sudden smirk appeared on her face, "have courage. No matter what or whom you choose, hearts will get broken."

Truth but no logic. A heart so empty yet so full. A burning heat as well as the freezing cold. Jack was on his way to change the course of events for good. Having gathered all of his strength, he made his way over towards his fiancee's household. It would be now or never for it wasn't too late yet. Having played all of the possible scenario's over in his head he got welcomed by the hall boy. The house sounded dead silent with only the ticking of the clock making him realise he was still caught up in reality. Collecting his thoughts, he felt the his palms getting sweaty and his head getting heavy. Jack kept standing in the same spot for what felt like hours.

"Mr. Dawson?" Caught by surprise, he turned around at the mentioning of his name. Trudy stood in the doorpost, her head held low.

"Can I help you, Trudy?" He walked up to her and saw she was shaking her head slightly.

"I shouldn't bother you with it, sir." She mumbled and wanted to walk away, but he stopped her in her tracks.

"Please do."

"It's miss Rose, sir. She has not waken up yet today. I went to check on her just now and I … Well I am just worried especially after her nosebleed from the other day and I don't know what to do."

Staring at her blankly, he tried to keep his posture steady. "Where is everyone?" His voice had a slight tremble to it.

"Away." She sighed loudly and shook her head "I really don't know what to do, sir…" Nor did he for a matter of fact. Climbing the stairs of the DeWitt Bukater household, Trudy had told him the location of her bedroom. Ignoring the notion that his actions were beyond improper, he found himself in front of her door in a matter of seconds. Resting his hand on the handle he took a deep breath and then opened it softly and slowly.

"Rose." He whispered in the darkness of the room. There was no response. Then, without a single thought he flicked on the light and headed inside. He could see her body underneath the covers. Still. A bit too still for his liking. Moving closer towards the bed he touched her bare shoulder, her coldness scaring him. "Rose? Rose can you hear me?" She still didn't move, "Rose, wake up!" Jack was almost at the point of screaming, "Rose!" Then a loud gasp faded his deepest fear.

"Jesus Christ," Rose pulled the cover over her chest. Eyes widened, she stared at a distressed face, "Mr. Dawson, what on earth are you doing in my room?"

"I am awfully sorry, miss." He shot back and stepped away from her.

Rose then turned her head to look at the clock on her bedside table. It was already two in the afternoon. She smiled and sat up straight. "It worked!" Grabbing the pills out of her nightstand, she smiled. Jack had seated himself onto her windowsill and groaned, leaning forward. Confused, Rose lifted herself out of bed and hesitantly moved over to him.

"Mr. Dawson?" He looked up, her presence hovering over him. Her body was still covered in bruises, making her look so fragile. The light that peaked through the curtains hit her nightgown, revealing all of her curves, but she didn't seem to notice. Jack swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to fight the urge to pull her against him and kiss all of the spots on her body that hurt her.

"I apologise for my behaviour, miss. I shouldn't have come in here." He stood up and moved past her, but Rose took hold of his arm and stopped him in his tracks.

"You were afraid I wasn't going to wake up, were you?" Her question was so blunt, yet beheld the truth which he was too afraid of to confess. "What happened to your brother, won't happen to me." It was scary how she was able to read his most haunting thoughts. Jack now realised that he never got the time to let his brother's death sink in. As life went on he was forced to move with its fast pace. Geoffrey still possessed the back of his mind, showing up every now and then to show him that he was still a real person. A person with emotion and feelings he was too afraid to express. Rose then let go of him and a shiver ran down his spine. "I haven't been able to sleep because of the pain." She admitted, "That's why I took these." Lifting the bottle in the air, Rose chuckled. "You could nock out a horse with them."

"Then you know they could be dangerous." Jack suddenly growled.

"My god," she howled back at him, "I've been dying of pain for more than a week and all I want is some peace and quiet. Then you come here bursting into my room like a hysterical maniac. Now if you have at least a single bit of respect for me, you will leave my room at once." As every word spat from her mouth, both their feet took a step closer to one another. "If someone walks in, rumours will spread around the city like a plague and it will make everything beyond awkward."

"Have things not been awkward since the very beginning, miss DeWitt Bukater?" He whispered close to her ear. There was no more than a few inches between them. Kissing her soft round lips was definitely an option, but before his inappropriate thoughts took the better of him, he walked out and left the young woman alone. Flabbergasted by what had just happened, she followed him down the corridor. His pace was too fast to keep up with. The sound of his footsteps on the wooden floor sounded like thunder to her ears. Despite him hearing her close behind him, he didn't look back. Leaning his body over the railing of the staircase, he called for Trudy, who came rushing up within seconds. Smiling from ear to ear she put all her attention towards her mistress. "Oh, miss Rose. I was so worried!"

Peaking over her maid's shoulder, Rose noticed Jack was already out of sight. He had left her in more confusion than she already was. "I am sorry Trudy if I have scared you."

"It is alright, miss. Now let's get you dressed before we worry anyone any further."

Disabilities or not, Rose's corset shoved against her skin. Her hair was pinned up high, pulling the skin of her face to the side. Pearls were wrapped around her neck and arms like chains. It had taken her more than three hours to make her feel somewhat worthy of presenting herself to her family. Downstairs they had clustered around the fireplace like a herd of animals. Not only was he still there, ignoring her every move, his whole family had decided to join the gathering.

"Good to see your face too today, Rose." He mother commented as she strutted towards the couch. Greeting Mr. And Mrs. Dawson, they smiled at her sympathetically.

"How are you feeling, miss Rose?" Mrs. Dawson asked. To the young woman's surprise it did sound like a sincere question.

"I am still standing, ma'am. As always." Rose responded dryly.

"That is good to hear." She nodded her head. "Another question we wanted to ask now you've finally joined us, is if you and miss Violet would like to enlighten the atmosphere by performing a lovely song for us." Violet had already taken a seat behind the piano. And apart from the strange occurrence that had happened only a short while before, it now felt like old times again. Two sisters bonded by an instrument. Rose cleared her throat and rested her body against the side of the piano. Finally feeling the steadiness of her feet she signed her sister to start.

I'll walk beside you through the world today

While dreams and songs and flowers bless your way

I'll look into your eyes and hold your hand

I'll walk beside you through the golden land

Following the movement of her lips as the tender words fell from them, Jack felt himself being hypnotised by her presence once again. He believed himself to be the biggest coward. He had come so close, yet fear and helplessness had taken the better of him. What would have happened if he had admitted his truest desires just a moment ago as she stood in front of him in such a scandalous yet delicate state. His longing for her had beheld him from taking action. He couldn't do it to her. He felt it was too wrong.

I'll walk beside you through the passing years

Through days of cloud and sunshine, joys and tears

And when the great call comes, the sunset gleams

I'll walk beside you to the land of dreams

But God, those eyes that captivated everything about him. That delicate voice and soft skin. He closed his eyes for a seconds, imagining that in another world or time he would be allowed to feel her lips against his own and melt within her touch.

I know the song Rose sings at the end isn't originally from 1912, but I believe it is so beautiful that I really wanted to include it in the story. Anyway I hope you still enjoyed this chapter. It was a bit hard for me to write because a lot more will be happening and this was just a bit of a built up... So yeah, excuse me if it wasn't that good xoxo