Chapter 15

As her father and Jack had finished their manly discussion about business and politics Rose signed for the footman to pour her another glass of burgundy wine. Her hand was trembling as she took another sip. She had to collect the courage to bring the news to her family. The news that would change the course of her future forever. Feeling the alcohol rise to her head she could hear her sister chuckle next to her.

"Goodness Rose, you're going for it tonight." Violet stated and then nibbled on her glazed ham. Rose put her cutlery down and cleaned her mouth with her thumb.

"I actually have something to tell you." She looked around the table as everyone turned silent, "It would be rude of me not to inform you that Mr. Hockley has asked me to marry him." Everyone's eyes widened and her mother shot up in the air, clapping her hands in full ecstasy.

"Oh Rose, how wonderful!" She smiled brightly. Before wanting to head to her daughter and plant a kiss on her cheek, she was stopped in her tracks.

"I wouldn't be that enthusiastic, mother," she quickly said, "I, in fact, have not accepted his proposal."

"What?"

"I have not accepted his proposal," Rose repeated. Her whole body, as well as her voice, was now shaking. Uncomfortable heat filled every part of her. Her dress felt tight to her skin. "I have actually something else to tell you."

"Oh here we go." Violet groaned and leaned back in her chair.

Rose closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath. "If you must all know why I don't want to marry him, apart from the fact that I don't know this man at all. It is because I have been in correspondence with a French family who live an hour away from Paris. They are looking for a new governess for their three children and I have accepted that offer."

Without barely having finished her sentence, Mr. DeWitt Bukater smashed his hands against the table and stood up from his chair. Staring at his youngest daughter with burning eyes, he shook his head heavily. "Absolutely not!" He roared at her, "I am not going to let you throw away your life by teaching some peasants' children!"

"They are not peasants, father! And I don't see what the problem is? Your eldest daughter is getting married, your only son is most likely going to take over the business therefore I don't see what can possibly be the problem."

"I will not have it, Rose. As long as you are part of this family, you will behave like all of those before you. Those who have given you your name. Your name that keeps you standing in this world. And you should be thankful to carry this name." He took a deep breath to collect his thoughts. Everyone had their eyes glued onto him, then onto the young woman. "Now you will get back to Mr. Hockley. You will apologise and accept his proposal." Sitting back down it was now Rose who stood up. Staring blankly at her father she shook her head.

"I am leaving next Friday." Then she threw her napkin to the side, almost knocking over her glass. Fleeing the room like a gust of wind, Jack felt her body move past him in a fast pace. Looking over his shoulder, he watched how she fastened her pace. He excused himself, left the table and followed her outside. She was feeling inside of the library and to his luck he was fast enough to get in himself before she shut the door in front of his face.

She turned towards, her eyes widened. "Mr. Dawson, I am begging you to leave me alone at once."

Jack closed the door with a strong force. "I am perfectly aware that I am the last person you want to talk to right now, but I must tell you that what you did there was beyond disrespectful." He growled at her.

"You have no right to scold me like I am some foreman in one of your mills just because you are marrying Violet! Besides, aren't you glad that I am not marrying Mr. Hockley? I thought you hated that man."

"Oh yes I absolutely do, but that is not what I am talking about. Why are you in such a hurry to leave? Why can't you just wait until after the wedding? Why do you need to be so god damn stubborn all the time?"

"You really wish to know why? Because I can't stand to be around you one moment longer. You agonise my very existence, Mr. Dawson. Every corner that turn to, every room that I enter, there you are and I cannot stand it for one moment longer."

"Are you saying that you hate me, miss DeWitt Bukater? I know a lot has happened, yet, is my presence thus awful that you feel the urge to run away to the other side of the world?"

"Yes." She rasped.

"Do you despise me so much still?"

"Yes."

"Then say it," he stepped towards her, "look me in the eye and tell me you hate me." In fact, she looked away, swallowing the lump in her throat. Her chest was starting to tighten. "Look me in the eye and tell me that you hate me." He repeated. There was an urgency in the tone of his voice. He needed to hear it to be freed from his suffering. Yet, she remained silent.

"You know, miss DeWitt Bukater, Every time you walk into the room, my body feels like it is burning down to ashes."

"Then you must learn how to control the heat." She suddenly noticed he was standing so close to her, she could hear the racing of his heartbeat. His thumb suddenly touched her skin. It caressed over her cheek, down her neck and then traced over her collarbone. Like firework, her body felt like exploding. It was only them and the hovering darkness of the library. Nothing else existed but strong force that pulled them together and within a second, she could hear herself letting her most inner desire fall from her lips.

"Are you going to kiss me, Jack?" She whispered. His blue orbs stared into hers before looking down at her lips again. The way she spoke his first name so elegantly. Both the softness and power of her passion was what drove him to the edge of insanity. He remained silent with only his movements answering her question. Then he leaned in forward, her heaving breathing brushing against his skin. Jack knew that if their lips met, he'd be in more ruin than he already was. He craved every inch of her body, every inch of her mind and soul. The way she took away the coldness of his character was impossible for him to comprehend. With the difficulty to resist him, her body grew weaker by the second. The touch of his fingers caressing her most delicate parts, aroused her in a way she believed not to exist. If he wanted to take her on the sofa behind them, or even on the floor, she would not protest. She wanted to melt within his skin like she had wanted all these weeks. Only him. And as her mind could not handle her deepest desires no more, it was she who locked her lips onto his. It was a kiss so intense they both forgot how to breathe. She moaned his name against his mouth as she felt her skirt being lifted up and his hands slowly moving towards her intimate part.

"You have to beg me to stop, Rose," he groaned, "for I am afraid I won't be able to."

A good woman would have done that, but Rose was no such thing. Her mind was possessed by selfish disdain. But just like that, the world responded to their devilish actions. Before it was too late, before they had freed themselves from their clothing and made love on the cold wooden floor of the library, a hastened knock brought them both back to their senses.

"Miss Rose?" The door suddenly opened.

"Oh God." Rose cried softly and pushed Jack away from her . Trudy stood in the doorway, inspecting the scene without any form of notion. Jack turned away towards the wall and placed his hand onto it.

"Your father wishes to see you in his office, miss."

Head bowed down to the ground, she ran out, leaving a man in the chaos of his own mind.

"Are you all right, Mr. Dawson?" Trudy asked.

"Yes," he nodded his head continuously, "Yes, I am perfectly all right." He quickly brushed past her to make his way back to his future wife who was, still annoyed by her sister's impulsive decision, rocking impatiently in her chair. Ruth swirled the remaining bit of wine around in her glass and put it back down. Then there was a loud muffled bang, followed by the screaming of voices. Jack suddenly felt a big knot form in his stomach. He sat down, rested his head in his hands and sighed.

"I am awfully sorry, Mr. Dawson, for Rose's behaviour." Ruth mumbled.

"It is always the same, mother. She always has to bring all the attention towards herself. She can't stand it when it's not about her and it's really starting to get on my nerves. At this point she can move to the other side of the world and I wouldn't care. I don't even want to have her at my wedding anymore."

"I am sorry ladies," Jack suddenly said, "but the exertions of tonight have given me quite a headache. I am going back home." He stood up and bid mother and daughter a good night. Then placed a gentle kiss in Violet's cheek. "I'll call on you in the morning."

Rose's head felt heavy with emotion and confusion. Her eyes felt think with tears. Looking at her reflection in the mirror she recalled the events of the night as Trudy was silently brushing her hair. Her father's screams left a great mark in her mind. Rose had never seen him in that way before and she was beyond frightened. She felt hopeless, pained and even disgusted. Disgusted in letting herself go in the moment of desire. What would have happened if Trudy hadn't walked in? She asked herself. Would she have let him continue? Would she have continued herself? Closing her eyes she could only admit to herself that it was an obvious yes. And her most devilish thoughts she still longed for his eager touch on her body. She would always be hungry for him.

"I've laid out a new nightgown for you, miss." Trudy's voice brought her back to reality.

"Thank you." She untied her robe, let if fall onto the floor and moved towards her bed to grab her dress. Letting the fabric fall over her body, the sudden cold let a shiver run down her spine.

"I hope Mr. Dawson wasn't too hard on you, miss. You looked quite distressed when I walked in the library."

"It feels like everyone is being hard on me these days." She tried to smile, yet it seemed to physically hurt. Her voice was trembling heavily and Trudy put a her hand gently onto hers. Together with Edward, Trudy was the only person Rose still trusted. She had always been the sister to her she wanted.

"I think you're really brave, miss, to make this decision. I could have never done it."

"I suddenly think I am more cowardly than brave person."

"It is just a feeling, miss. And you can't blame yourself after those manly outbursts. Now please get some rest. I will bring you breakfast in bed tomorrow morning."

Thanking her maid one last time and wishing her a good night, Rose crawled underneath her sheets and traced her lips once more. She could still feel his touch.

As the morning sun left a soft hue over the city, one man felt nothing but cold and even sick to his stomach. Jack swirled his spoon in his cup of coffee. Sleep had ignored his request in spite of his desire to disappear into his unconsciousness. In the manner of a ghost he tried to listen to Violet. Like the usual princess she was, she sat beside him, taking small and delicate sips of her tea.

"I am going to see Mr. Hockley this afternoon." Violet informed him bluntly. Shooting back from his tormenting thoughts, Jack almost chocked on his drink. He raised his eyebrow. "But why on earth would you do that?"

"Mother and father are out and this is the only free afternoon I have until our big day." She kissed him passionately. "I won't let my family be caught up in a scandal just before the wedding. Mr. Hockley is perfect for Rose, but she is just too stupid to see it herself."

"Darling," Jack tried to keep his expressions as blunt as possible, "Why can't you just let it be? She has made her decision and we should accept it."

Shaking her head once again Violet started to grow impatient. "I am doing this mostly for my parents, Jack. They don't deserve this. She has given them a hard enough time for the past eighteen years and it has to be over with."

"Just let it rest, Violet."

"Why are you so on an even keel about this, Jack? Don't you find it worrying?"

Before he could say anything he might regretted in the end, a loud and piercing voice caught the young couple by surprise. From out of the darkness of the house, the silhouette of his aunt appeared onto the porch. Mrs. Dawson followed close behind her, her facial expression was low. It almost looked as if she could hurt her sister- in-law with just a glance. Both relieved and scared Jack stood up from his chair and placed a kiss onto Agatha's cheek. She looked over his shoulder at Violet who tried her hardest to smile. The ambiance of it all was killing.

"What a nice surprise to see you aunt."

"I just came by to ask you to accompany for a stroll around the park, but I can see you have company."

Now Violet stood up as well and shook her head. "No, you can steal my fiancé for now, miss Dawson." She giggled, "I was about to leave anyway," She carefully put on her lace gloves and fixed the position of her hat, "Going to fix the disaster my sister has put herself into," then she turned to Jack one last time, "I will see you tomorrow, darling. I am having dinner with Lucile tonight."

"All right." Jack muttered and held his breath until Violet had completely disappeared. Raising an eyebrow, Agatha looked at her nephew.

"What was that all about? What disaster?" She asked with an impatient tone in her voice.

"Have you ever heard of Mr. Caledon Hockley, Agatha?" Mrs. Dawson answered her question.

She nodded her head. "Of course. Isn't he that Steel fella from Pittsburgh?"

"Yes. Well, Miss Rose has declined his marriage proposal."

"Really? You don't say." Jack could see a smirk appear on his aunt's face and he quickly looked away.

"Yes." His mother's voice continued to ring in his ear, "And that is not all of it. Apparently, she has accepted an offer to work as a governess for some French farmers family. She wants to leave before the wedding! And now, despite her own busy schedule, Violet has put it on herself to fix this scandal." Mrs. Dawson kept shaking her head, "I have never met anyone as thoughtful as Violet. Poor thing."

Secretly rolling her eyes, Agatha leaned out her arm towards Jack who gladly took it. From the look in her eyes he could see the confusion, yet also the sympathy. Even without having said a word himself, he knew she was on his side. Agatha Dawson was always on his side.

Walking the streets mostly in silence, Jack had already gone through his packet of cigarettes. In front of them walked a little girl, pushing a stroller as her mother walked behind her. The woman was smiling brightly, proud of her two children. Jack suddenly felt a horrible pain in his chest which descended down to his stomach. Stopping in his tracks, he watched how the happy family walked by. Agatha watched him, agony written all over his face.

"Oh my boy," She whispered softly, "What have you gotten yourself into?" She took hold of his hand and traced the back of it, hoping her gentle touch would somewhat calm his nerves. He was trying his hardest to remain steady on his feet, but the lack of sleep and constant whirlwind that rushed through his head made it somewhat impossible. Then Agatha turned towards him and waited until no one was close enough the hear them.

"You're gonna die, Jack. You're gonna die if you don't break free and marry that girl." His gentle blue eyes had become dull, "Where is that fire of yours? That fire that I love about you, darling. Where is it?"

"It's been long gone." He croaked out.

"After our last conversation, I thought you had gone to Rose? I really wanted to believe you had finally followed your heart."

"It was my intention, yet the universe decided otherwise." He looked down at his shoes that were covered in mud. He couldn't tell her about what had happened in the library. He physically couldn't open his mouth and let the words fall out. But as his aunt tried to encourage him for the millionth time, he found himself at her house again late in the evening.

"No one is at home, Mr. Dawson." Trudy told him as she opened the door, "Violet won't be back for another hour."

"Can I wait for her in the drawing room?" His believable lie made him enter the house. Still with his coat on, he tapped his feet impatiently as he watched time pass by. Where could she be? He asked himself. Perhaps she wouldn't come home. Another half hour passed when he finally heard the sound of life entering the house. Letting out a deep sigh when realising it was in fact her, he peeked his head around the corner of the room and saw Rose stepping inside the hallway. His heart seemed to stop for a moment before it continued on in a fast pace. Rose gave Wendy a final hug and a kiss on her cheek before thanking her for a wonderful evening. She sounded tired. Then, she gave her coat to Trudy and made her way towards the staircase. Her pace was slow and thoughtful as if she was aware of his presence and waiting for him to follow her. But as he approached her slowly he soon came to the notion that she wasn't. Waiting desperately for the maid to clear the path for him, Jack could then head over to her. It was now or never.

"Can you wait, please?" Her body stiffened by the sound of his voice.