Chapter 17

This chapter might be a little bit chaotic and I am sure I could have done a much better job... but anyway I hope you'll enjoy xoxo

Conflict. The word traveled through ever creak of the house, roamed around the rooms like a ghost and left an agonising sensation in everyone. In a way, Ruth felt like she had failed in the creation of a perfect human. To have Violet as her example, she had expected parenting to be so easy and it was everyone else around her that was incapable of bringing up a child. Yet, her youngest daughter was a raging storm and always had been. There was never al calmness about her but an endless search trying to belong somewhere. It was impossible for her mother to reach her. Ruth had given up long ago and only focused on the project she was capable of finishing. Violet would be well off and at least that was a form of an accomplishment.

Rose had been gone for a little over a day, leaving behind both silence and chaos. Smothering heat from the fight that had taken place the night before was still burning underneath everyone's feet. She wanted to leave on good terms and have a peaceful journey towards her new life, she wanted to leave her hurting behind her. It was impossible.

He was sitting two chairs away from her, his presence burning against her skin. She could feel him looking every once in a while as if he wanted to touch her. I dare you to touch me, Rose said only to herself before she let is slide off again. The sound of cutlery whacking the plates hit her like thunder. Everything was too loud and bitter to fathom. Then sudden silence fell in the dining room and the uneasiness in her body started to worsen.

"You're being very quiet, darling." Ruth noticed the strange behaviour of her eldest daughter. Moving the peas around on her plate, Violet couldn't bring herself to eat a single bite. Her mind was too occupied by Mr. Hockley's conversation from the other day. His comment spooked the worst areas of her imaginations. What the man had confessed to her sounded true. It was in the reflection of his eyes that he knew Rose would never be able give her heart to him because it already belonged to someone else and Violet couldn't help but believe him.

"I just cannot wrap my head around something, mother." She responded and Rose almost choked on her food.

"And that is?"

"I went to see Mr. Hockley the other day" She confessed and saw everyone's eyes at the table widen. In a fury, Rose pushed her chair back and slammed her napkin onto the ground. Despite her disgust, it didn't surprise her in the slightest. It was a typical move of her sister, an underhanded way to take matters into her own hands. Violet DeWitt Bukater wanted to have the last word with everything. Still standing up, bother her brother and father, as well as Jack had lifted themselves from their seats as well. Mr. DeWitt Bukater pointed his finger at Rose. "Sit back down." He didn't sound angry, but more exhausted. Doing as she was told, she descended and gazed at her feet.

"I can't believe you did that." She hissed at Violet through gritted teeth.

"I wanted to help you, Rose. I wanted to make sure you were able to get a second chance for you'll never be given a better opportunity than to marry a man like him," Violet took a deep breath, "So yes I went to see him for you! But you know what he told me? "'Although I would want nothing more than to marry your sister, I do not wish to share her heart with someone else.'" She recalled the words perfectly.

Both confused and annoyed, Rose raised her eyebrow. "What on earth is that supposed to mean?"

"What it means, dear sister, is that you are supposedly in love with someone else."

Rose's stomach dropped and a wave a heat rushed to her head. A glass fell down and when she looked to her right she could see that Jack had spilled his wine all over the table. He quickly apologised and started to clean up the mess until Trudy came to his rescue. His hands were trembling uncontrollably. How was it possible for Caledon Hockley to know for she had never admitted it to anyone, not even him. At least not in that way. To be in love with your sister's soon to be husband was one thing, but to have touched his lips and almost felt every part of his naked body was something that went too far.

"This is absurd!" Rose tried to defend herself but was afraid it would be of no use.

"I don't think it is that absurd, Rose." Violet snapped back before she looked back at her parents, "To be in such a rush to get away and then especially so far. Even you are no person to do such a radical thing. Unless…"

"Violet." Jack suddenly warned her. He in fact did sound angry, yet his fiancee did not listen to him in the slightest.

"…you have somebody waiting for you there." As her heard the words fall from her sisters lips she couldn't help but feel her body lighten up. A dreadful weight seemed to fall off her shoulders. Her speculations sounded too ridiculous that Rose let out a loud and mocking laugh.

"Now you've gone too far. I am unsure of what Mr. Hockley has told you, but I will not let him make up these foolish things to justify his own indignation."

"Well I believe he is speaking the truth," Violet gazed around the table. Do you really think, Rose is capable of working as she has never lifted a finger in her entire life. And then especially as a governess for three children. Three! I tell you she is eloping with some radical or bohemian to get married."

Ruth shook her head in disbelief and stared directly into Rose's eyes. "You have one chance to tell us the truth."

"You want to know the truth?" She stood up again, "The truth is that I can't be around this family any longer. For eighteen years I've tried to be this delicate little flower of yours, but I never seem to succeed," Her voice was trembling. Not of fear but of anger, "I can give you all of my letters I wrote to that family. You can check my room if you'd like and soon find out that there is nothing because there is nothing between me and some man. I have no lover." To Jack, her words sounded like poison and he bit his lower lip until he could feel it starting to bleed. Then Rose lifted up her wineglass. "Now pour me another one. I want to have a quiet and peaceful night."

And now she was really gone. Out of sight, out of the heart. No one had come to say their goodbyes as she closed the door behind her on the early Friday morning. Not a single soul had seen her leave, apart from one. Hidden in his car on the other side of the road, Jack allowed himself one final glance of her. She was dressed in a tailored white shirt with a pastel blue gored skirt underneath. She looked smart, elegant and at the same time uncomplicated. Behind a certain pain in her expression, which he could see from afar, her eyes beheld a form of relief. She was freeing herself from years of suffering in an environment she did not belong. And regardless of his own agony, Jack felt proud of her.

Of course, he wished to be the one beside her. Opening the door as she stepped inside of her taxi and taking the seat next to her. But that, he hoped, would be waiting for him in a different life. There he would be allowed to kiss her soft lips at any moment and wake up beside her as the sun shined through their curtains. In that life he would even be the father of her children, but for now it only remained a dream.

Through his teary eyes he watched how her car disappear into the distance and how she disappeared from his life, perhaps forever. He whispered a silent goodbye and secretly hoped it was loud enough for her to hear him and turn around. But as the vehicle turned around the corner and vanished from his sight, so did his final hopes and dreams.

Jack remained in the car for a few hours longer until the heat had become unbearable. Sweat was dripping down his face and mixed together with the remains of his dried up tears. Stepping out, he forced himself to walk over to their front door and go on with the day. Trudy opened the door as usual and saw she was trying to hide her sadness. To Jack, it was too obvious. The maid pointed him towards the library. It was the place he dreaded most to go, but his feet moved forward and within seconds he was standing in the doorway.

"I knew it would be you, Mr. Dawson." Ruth stood close to the window, her back facing him. She was already fully dressed, yet her long hair hung loosely over her shoulders. Jack swallowed the lump inside of his throat stepped inside. Peaking over the woman's shoulders, he could see she was holding letters. Not more than three and the writing wasn't long, yet Ruth looked at them like they contained pure gold. Then she turned to face him, her face pale and eyes widened.

"She wasn't lying." Ruth said softly.

Within an instant, Jack knew what she was talking about and still managed to look confused. He needed to hear it out loud. "What do you mean?"

"She left the letters behind. Her correspondence with that family. She is really going to be their governess." Putting the paper against her chest one last time, she tore it up into tiny little piece. There was a great force in her movement. A hidden frustration that she could finally let out in a physical way, "And then why do I still believe Violet? Why do I still feel like these letters are a trap? Rose is definitely capable of ruining her life by running off with some stranger just to vex me."

"Let it go, Ruth. I believe you have your proof now." Jack responded bluntly. He managed not to show a single form emotion in the tone of his voice.

The woman took a deep breath and nodded her head. "It is easy to say for you now you don't have any children of your own, but you are right." She tried her hardest to smile, "We have you two to worry about now. Only a week until your life will be changed forever. In the best way of course." Her hand touched his shoulder hesitantly and Jack could only nod his head and mumble a powerless yes. Scratching the back of his neck he tried to smile also, but barely could. The departure of Rose had made it all both easier and harder at the same time. The absence of her physical presence could not be a distraction anymore, but it made him long for her even more. It was now a bit past ten in the morning and Ruth had to get herself ready for her charity work. Leaving the young man alone in the library, he aimlessly stared in front of him. Noises happened around him, but he didn't care. Are you going to kiss me, Jack? Still, Her voice sounded so vivid and he closed his eyes for a second to relive the moment between them that was burning with desire and passion. A clicking sound brought him back to reality and in the hallway he could see Edward marching through. Jack called out his name and when the boy looked up and saw his figure standing there, he shook his head and moved along. Confused by his reaction, Jack followed him as he headed towards the backyard. He tried to stop him, but Edward was too fast. Within seconds he stopped out of a sudden and burst out crying. Grabbing his stomach, he leaned forward and let the sobs run down freely. The young boy was in pain as he felt like he had just lost the most important person in his life. He had tried to stop her, begged her not to go and leave him alone in a place where he also didn't want to be. He needed his big sister, he needed her to feel at ease. Edward realised he was now more alone than ever. His body was filled with both sadness and rage and within seconds he turned around to face the man who had followed him into the burning summer heat. Both their breathing was heavy. Pointing his finger at Jack he cried once again.

"I hate you!" Edward then shouted at him. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!"

Taken back by his sudden outburst, Jack tried to move closer, but Edward backed away once again. He had also his hands lifted up in the air, surrendering to whatever was to come.

"I don't know what I did to you, Edward, but I am open for you to explain it to me. You can tell me what I did to upset you so and I will try to understand."

"Of course you will not understand."

"How can say that without having told me what is going on?" Jack was then finally allowed to reach him. He placed his hand on his back and lead him back inside. Edward tried to control his breathing for it was difficult to stay calm. He was being brought to the Drawing room where he sat down onto the big velvet chair. Jack kneeled in front go him and looked him directly into his eyes.

"You hate me still?" He asked.

"Yes." Edward whispered back and tried to look away from him.

"Can you tell me why?"

"Rose."

Of course, Jack thought to himself despite he was still clueless about why her brother would be angry at him. He then stood up and was pacing back and forth around the room.

"I know you have to do something with it," Edward continued as he gritted his teeth, "I know you are part of the reason why she has left."

"Has she told you that?"

He shook his head. "No. But I know Rose better than anyone in this world. She wouldn't just leave me behind like that."

"Your sister is a grown woman now, Edward. She wants to make a life for herself now."

"Yes she does, but not like this!" He burst out crying again and covered his face with his hands. Jack felt his heart sink. He looked so fragile and broken as he longed for his sister. He couldn't blame him. From the moment he was born it was Edward and Rose against the rest. They were the greatest team.

"Perhaps like this." Jack hated himself for speaking to him in this manner. It felt as if he had been possessed by a demon.

"Liar!" Edward snapped back at him.

"Edward, please."

"No! You are lying and Rose is lying as well. And you know why I know? Because she likes you and you like her too. I might only be twelve, but I am not an idiot. She was different when she was with you, much lighter or something. I saw it when we went to your house together."

Jack held his breath as he let the words sink in, "And I saw it in you too. But you are both too stubborn to admit it. And now it is too late."

"Maybe in time, Edward, you will come to the notion that life isn't always that black and white. You cannot always have what you truly want and sometimes you have to make sacrifices. Rose has made the decision to leave and I have made the decision to marry Violet."

"Yes, but you don't want to marry Violet, do you? You could have made Rose stay! Why couldn't you just admit that you are in love with her? Why didn't you tell her?"

"Well I did, all right? I did tell her." But before Jack could say or do anything else, a loud gasp was heard behind them. As he turned around he saw Violet's silhouette appear from behind the door. Her lips were thin, expression blank and lifeless and within seconds Jack felt sick to his stomach. He knew she had heard most if not everything of this conversation. Violet DeWitt Bukater now came to the realisation that the man she was about to marry did not love her in a single way. Obviously, it was her sister, the radiant sparkle of a woman, who had captured his heart. His most inner desire was not to be with her, but to be with a girl that now hundreds of miles away.

A wave of disgust and jealousy took the better of the young woman. Her heels clicked against the wooden floor and before she knew it she felt her hand hit his cheek. Jack's face short to the side, but he didn't say a word. He deserved it, perhaps even another blow. He was aware that the messiness of the whole situation was all due to him. He had not been honest, he had listened to what he truly wanted because he believed himself to behold a power to outsmart his emotions. Reality had caught up with his puppet show and now he had taken everyone with him to his downfall. Violet's breathing was heavy, like an animal ready to attack. As Jack opened his eyes again he saw they were now alone. Edward had rushed off as fast as he could.

"Is it true, Jack?" Violet asked through teary and burning eyes, "All this time it was her you were in love with?" As he didn't respond fast enough for her liking she grabbed him by his shoulders and shook him wildly. "Answer me! Answer me now!"

Jack believed the walls had started to tremble and if the house would collapse, he silently hoped to disappear underneath the rubble. Then he nodded his head. Slow at first but soon his movement became stronger and more prominent. He couldn't stop.

"Yes," He finally admitted, "I am in love with Rose."