Over the course of the next few days, I was deep in thought.

What Enishi said had made me restless.

No. To him Kaoru was important; he did really love her, but just how much? He didn't want to hurt her in any way, and it was true what he'd told Enishi, she was not a replacement for Tomoe. Nobody could replace anybody; that much was true. Kaoru occupied another place in his heart.

The thing was that Kenshin didn't doubt his love for Kaoru; he doubted what kind of love he had for her. Was it a romantic love, or a brotherly love? Up until that moment, he had never doubted loving her as a woman, but now he wasn't so sure.

It was a love that started pure and still was. There was no lust, just simple love. Even with Tomoe, there had been an attraction first.

No, no no! I shook my head, I hadn't been this distraught since Tomoe had died in my arms and she had said it was better that way.
Enishi had left me speechless.

I don't know what to do. I've been trying to avoid Kaoru because I don't know how to look at her now. I don't how I should act, or what should I say. I know that Enishi's words affected her too and that she needs me to reassure her, but right now I can't.

I hope she can forgive me, but until I can resolve my own feelings, I can't be good company for anybody.

'Ken-san, you cannot go on like that. You need to talk to Kaoru, she is deeply affected by what happened.' Megumi-dono advised me when she came to see us after she heard what had happened.

'I know, but I cannot face Kaoru-dono until I have resolved my feelings. I know that she wants me to reassure her, but I cannot offer her an answer right now.' I said.

'I understand, Ken-san, but if you are feeling so unsure and distraught, maybe it is a hint that you didn't love Kaoru like you thought you did.'

Once again I was left distraught.

'Don't look so horrified, I didn't say that you didn't love her, I just meant that maybe it's a different kind of love; Like a sister. Ken-san I want you to look deep inside of your heart and answer me these questions, then you'll know.'

Megumi-dono really was wise, even if she was younger that I. The questions she asked me were simple, but they rang true, in an instant, all my feelings were cleared.

'I know now, Megumi-dono. Thank you.'

"Do not thank me, Ken-san, it's the least I can do for you who helped me out so much, and for Kaoru, I couldn't let her be led the wrong way even if you didn't mean it.'

"I do have to apologize for telling her lies.'

'They weren't lies, Ken-san; you do love her, but just in a different way than you thought. You were just lonely and wanted to feel the warmth of another person, Kaoru opened her heart to you, and you accepted it, just like you accepted the warmth and love of the of us here. We all love you, and you love us, but now it is time for you to move on and find true love.'

Megumi-dono's words stung a bit. Was I really that lonely? So lonely that I tricked my heart into believing that I had fallen in love again? Yes, I was lonely, and when Kaoru-dono offered me a place to stay after so long, when I felt needed again, I was happy. I felt like I could fall in love again, but love had evaded me. Was I forever going to be bound to Tomoe's memory? Even if she had forgiven me, has she?

Tomoe, please answer, have you really forgiven me? I cry.

'It's ok to cry, Ken-san.' Megumi-dono assures me.

'I need an answer, Megumi-dono. An answer from her. Has she really forgiven me, Megumi-dono?'

'Ken-san, I do not know how to answer, but if the story you told us is true, then I am sure that Tomoe-san never resented you. She died for you.'

I cry.

'Thank you Megumi-dono. Thank you Tomoe.'