House walked down the hallway at PPTH. He spotted Wilson, who was currently chatting with a male nurse. He made his way over towards them, stopping right next to Wilson. Both Wilson and the nurse ignored him. House rapped Wilson's ankle with his cane. Still no response, though. They were still talking about something, too boring for House to care what. He hit him again harder. Wilson shot him a nasty look, but kept talking. House simply smirked back and hit him even harder. Both Wilson and the nurse gave him almost identical dirty looks.
"Ouch, I think I felt that." He remarked.
"I'm sorry," Wilson said to the nurse. "Apparently there's something urgent that needs my attention."
"Yes, me!" House said.
"It had better be more important than that. I'll talk to you later." He told the nurse.
They walked away.
"Wife number four?" House asked casually.
Wilson scoffed, but pinched the bridge of his nose nevertheless.
"I'm not gay, House." He said wearily.
"I never said that. Though, I know for a fact he is, and you said talk to later, that's not just hospital business."
"Yes it is! I need to talk to him later about, well, cancer patients."
"Yeah, sure."
"Really, House, I'm not gay. Married three times, remember?"
"Yeah, I remember, more specifically, the divorced three times part. That would explain everything, the divorces, the toenail polish, the blowdrying thing, the obsessing over your image, everything really."
"Yes, the only explanation for all those things is that I'm gay, it couldn't possibly be that I, I don't know, actually care about how I look for the women? Last time I checked it worked a lot better than your approach, being a bastard to the world."
"I think it works nicely on the men too, Chase just can't get enough of you." House said, ignoring Wilson's jab.
Wilson sighed.
"I'm really not gay, House."
"Yeah, okay, but that was definitely flirting."
Wilson pinched the bridge of his nose harder.
"Was not!" He said, about an octave higher than necessary.
House didn't respond, just shot him a look.
"I'm not gay!"
"How do you know?"
"How do I know? Hmmm, let's see I like women, I like having sex with them, and I've had a lot of sex with them."
"Fine, you're bisexual."
Wilson threw his hands up in the air.
"Why are you convinced I'm attracted to men?"
"Why are you convinced you're not?"
"Why are you so obsessed with the gay thing? Hmmm? Are you gay?" Wilson said, just to ward off House.
"Nope. Bisexual." He said.
Wilson's jaw dropped. House kept walking, and turned into diagnostics. Wilson came in after a moment.
"House, we need to talk, now."
"Nope, my patient load is so heavy right now, I can't spare any time away from work. So," he said addressing Cameron, Foreman and Chase, who all looked confused. "That patient, umm, what's his-"
He was cut off by Wilson.
"You have no patients!"
"Still, you never know when a case is just going to come in, wouldn't want to miss it, so I can't move from this room. Cuddy might freak."
"House, either we can go talk in your office right next door where Cuddy will be sure to find you in case of an emergency, or we can discuss it here."
"Well, Wilson and I are going to have a discussion in my office. If any one of you comes near eavesdropping distance I'll break all of your teeth with my cane." He said cheerily and turned to follow Wilson into his office, closing the door behind him.
Cameron, Chase and Foreman exchanged questioning looks. They went back to their crossword puzzles.
House sat down in his chair and immediately swallowed a Vicodin. He eyed Wilson, who was pacing, hands on his hips.
"How come you never told me?" Wilson demanded.
"Told you what?"
Wilson didn't even waste his time on sarcasm. "That you're bisexual, you don't think that's something I should know?"
"I never really told anyone who didn't need to know. Stacy doesn't know, my parents don't know." House said, suddenly serious.
"And you think I need to know?"
"Well, I thought it might make the whole coming out of the closet bit easier."
"I'm not gay."
"Keep repeating it and it might come true."
Wilson sighed. "What do I have to do to make you believe me?" He demanded, standing right in front of House.
House considered for a moment, and then decided the opportunity was too good to pass up. He grabbed Wilson's tie, pulled him down, and kissed him squarely on the lips. Wilson managed not to fall completely on House, but he narrowly avoided House's leg. His jaw dropped, giving House a perfect opportunity to slide his tongue in. He did just that. Finally, Wilson reacted and kissed him back with so much heat it frightened House. He had completely lost control; his brain felt like it was no longer working, except it obviously was, judging from the electricity passing throughout his whole body. Finally, Wilson broke the kiss leaving both of them breathless. He got up off of House, and rubbed the back of his neck a little uncertainly.
"Is that what you wanted?" He demanded, but the anger was gone from his voice. "I'm more than willing."
House smirked. "Told you, you're gay."
"I'll give you bisexual, at least." He said, rolling his eyes. "But, House seriously, what was that? Is that what you want?"
"I don't know but right now we've got more immediate and much more fun problems." House got up and pointed into the conference, where Cameron, Chase and Foreman were all gaping.
"We need to talk about this later, but as long as were here, we might as well put on a good show." Wilson said and he grabbed House.