Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter
Author's note: original plan has been changed chapter 3 has been cut into 2, this is the first part.
I didn't realise that I wasn't accepting Anonymous reviews (sorry) please review Anonymously if you want to– all comments good and bad are appreciated – I like feed back
The song/poem in the first paragraph is mine, from a poem I wrote 18 months ago its called Tell Me (its not the complete version just the first verse)
Projectshaddow –lou- (my lovely co writer to some of my other stories (not this one)) I told you not to read it and if your reading this your in big trouble (LOL) she just wants to see what I'm up to on my own hehehehe
Silver and Gold
Chapter 3
It's a few days since Remus and Mike got together, I haven't seen much of them, but I have been avoiding their company. I'm lying in my bed, staring intently at my canopy, I can't sleep, and I don't want to! 'He' comes to me in my dream, saying and singing words of love
'Tell me I am free to be
What I want to be
Tell me I don't have to do
What I don't want to
You don't relies
I'm cold behind these eyes
In the dead of night
I want you to hold me tight
Setting me free …
Letting me be …
Whole again'
Its all too real, his heat, no that's the wrong word, his protective warmth penetrates my cool hard shield … Before I wake cold, alone and in pain, again. I can't stand lying here anymore, waiting for Re to get back from where ever he is with Mike, I need a distraction, I need something to do. A midnight walk to the kitchens might take my mind of Re, and what Mike could be doing to him, jealously runs through me like a knife, a cold sharp blade right through the heart, I take James' invisibility cloak, I don't really want to be caught by Filch (I know that isn't the name of the caretaker in the MWPP period but I couldn't remember what it was and thought it might take a while to read all of book 5 to find out – even though I did have a try!) right now. I through the cloak over me before heading down to the common room, taki8ng the stairs slowly and cautiously, I didn't want to be detected by anyone! Even if it was 12:30, I poke my head around the corner of the boy's dormitory staircase, and what meat my eyes made my heart shatter. Mike was on the sofa, and he was by on means alone, his well-built muscular figure was pinning MY Remmy to that sofa, his thin lips Viciously attacking Re's, his long dirty blond hair acting like a curtain to their faces, as he mashes their lips together. Mike's lips are moving down Remus' jaw, and no matter how much this sight is killing me, I'm frozen to the spot staring fixedly at the scene unfolding before me. Mike is now licking and nipping at Re's neck, Re's eyes are closed, his honey blond eyelashes spread across his cheek, Re moans and whispers something, I'm too far away to hear, Mike freezes, his deep chocolate eyes snap open
"What did you say?" he says with what must be a lot of control, but he looks deeply pissed, his face almost twisted in anger, as he climbs off of Remus' body
"Sorry id didn't mean to" Re says rather sincerely he looks a bit upset
"You were thinking about HIM the whole time weren't you?" this didn't sound like a question more of an accusation
"No I wasn't it just slipped out, I want to be with you Mike, I wouldn't be here if I didn't" now any one who knows Remus knows when he's lying and that one was a total whopper, I know for a fact that Re is in love with someone else and that he barely even likes Mike, why is he with mike again … oh yeah he's gay
"I can't believe you Remus …that you would be kissing me and thinking about HIM" Mike breathes deeply as though trying to clear himself from his anger " you need to choose Remmy, either you hang on to your dreams of you and HIM, or you move on, and be with me, I can't be second best to a fantasy and I won't" Mike said his body was rigid and even thought the look of anger had gone from his face, it was obviously not gone from him. Remus said nothing more as Mike made it up to the boy's dorms, he just sighed in a defeated manor, lent forward, put his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. Mike is suck a bloody idiot, he has Remmy, ok Re is thinking about another guy no one would be thrilled at that but at least he has him … that bull and I know it I just like calling Mike and idiot. Re pushes his hair back with his hands taking his long curtains off his face so I can see the silent tears that have been rolling, I wish I could comfort him, I wish I could tell him it would all be ok … but I can't, I think as I head back to our dorm room, I can't because I don't know if we ever will be again.
It's been two long days since Remus and Mike's argument in the common room and they're still together, even though the atmosphere around them is a little tense. I'm still not hanging around with Re as much as before he went out with Mike or is that before I found out I was gay and in love with him? It doesn't matter all that matters is I miss him, and I was right going out with Mike was a mistake, even Mike knows he's in love with someone else and how come Mike gets to know and I don't stupid, bulky dirty blond freak, I mentioned the jealousy thing before didn't I? Their not here now they are 'studying' in the 'library' i.e. snogging or arguing somewhere. I am currently sitting on the common room floor playing chess with James, under normal conditions I would beat him easily, but my mind is elsewhere
"Siri" uh oh that tone is NEVER a good thing
"Do I want to know what you're going to say?" I ask him reproachfully
"Probably not" he says honestly, I can imagine how my face looks right now glazed over, staring at the queen, after a moment of silence, I look up at James
"Go on" urging him to get what ever he has to say over and done with
"I know who he is," James said all to cockily, I knew it wasn't going to be good and I was right, ok no need to panic
"You know who he is, what do you mean by that?" calm thoughts Siri calm thoughts!
"The guy that made the womanizer of Hogwarts gay" he's smiling cockily, his eyes on fire with joy, dam stupid prat, why do I put up with him? Oh yeah he's my best friend and is supposedly nice
"Do you?" I ask raising an eyebrow at him "Who do you think it is?" I ask him trying to keep my cool
"Moony" oh SHIT, he does know, my eyes do a quick sweep of the common room to make sure no one heard good all clear
"You can't say any thing!" this is not a question but a demand, he's still smiling like a prat
"Oh I won't, I'm going to let you and moony sort this one out on your own" god, he's such a smug git when he wants to be, its so much funnier when your not on the receiving end.
"Hey" a soft voice rings in my ears, I turn around on my chair to come nose to nose with Remus
"Hey" I say quietly back, he pulls back from me
"I haven't seen you around much recently" it wasn't a question merely an observation, his eyes look more hollow and broken that when I told him I new he was gay
"What can I say … I don't like Mike" blunt I know but I'm Sirius, even his hair looks more lifeless than it used to be, the honey highlights don't look as golden any more
"Sirius don't start" a warning from Re, he knows me better than that
"Don't start, Re if you keep going at the rate you are, going to end up sleeping with Mike or something equally stupid" anger is flooding my voice and I can see the hurt of Re's face but its mixed with irritation
"What do you expect me to do Sirius? Sit around for a guy that's as straight as you are, to come and tell me he loves me?" he's storming away as I whisper
"Yes" we keep fighting its all that idiot Mikes fault.