Annnnnnd, here we go--chapter 2! Hope you like it!
Disclaimer: Only the four random girls wandering around are mine. Everything else is the property of C. S. Lewis...Oh, and the song is "Just a Gigolo" by Louis Prima. Also not mine!
The four girls blinked at Jadis. They were silent until…
"Dude, that is one sick hot name!" Tamara exclaimed.
Jadis turned her cold eyes to Tamara and cocked her head slightly. "Sick…hot? Dear child, I am not sure what you mean by that. It is very cold here. Perhaps you are becoming delusional from the cold? Please, do join my on my sleigh."
She glided over to the sleigh and beckoned to the girls who all clambered up after her. She draped her, in Licia's words, "ginormous bear pelt" around the girls.
"Now, do tell me how you got here, Daughters of Eve."
The four looked at each other questioningly. "Eve? We don't know anyone named Eve—"
"Don't be silly, Annie! I bet she means Eve Longrove." Tamara looked at her friends knowingly.
"But we aren't her daughters. And even if we were, if would be really disturbing. She's only a year older than us." Annemarie pointed out, the ever-practical one.
"Maybe she means—" Tam started.
"Silence!" the Witch snarled. The girls looked startled and shocked but Jadis quickly composed herself, putting on a sweet smile. Her voice dripped poisoned honey.
"You children are human?"
They nodded.
"How did you come to enter my domain?"
"Your domain?" BJ asked. She snorted. "You don't look like much of the queen material to me. You aren't wearing a golden crown or beautiful clothes, and you aren't beautiful yourself, either."
Jadis fumed silently, making a mental note to turn the shrimpy, fire-haired human to stone later. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, counting to ten, remembering what The Stress-Free Guide to Ruling a Country That You Stole said in chapter 18. Then she opened them and smiled at the girls. "How about something to drink?"
The three girls smiled brightly. Licia spoke up first. "I want a chocolate milkshake."
"Capri-Sun for me. Pacific Cooler." Tamara, of course.
"I'll have some chamomile tea with a hint of mint and a lemon wedge. No milk, two sugars." That from Annemarie.
Jadis blinked at the three girls. A Cap Reesun? Bacific Cooler? Milkshake? And—wait a minute! Jadis did a double take. "Where's the fourth!" she cried.
"BJ? Oh, who knows. Who cares! She's a flat tire anyway. She was a real wet blanket today at the house. We'll have a lot more fun without her! Now, where's my Capri-Sun? Can I get some Oreos with that?" Tamara looked at the Witch with shining eyes.
"Oree-oh? What—never mind! Where's that scrawny firehead that was with you before?"
Licia and Annemarie shrugged.
"Tell me now humans, or you shall die!" Jadis shrieked, reaching for her wand.
But, she grabbed…thin air!
Jadis whirled around and nearly swooned as she saw BJ using her uber-awesome-magical-sparkly-shiny wand to dig a hole in the frozen ground. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU FOOLISH IGNORANT HUMAN!"
BJ looked up. "Jeez, lady, you sure do a lot of screaming. Get a grip, will you?"
Jadis snatched her wand from the girl. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING WITH THIS!"
"I was trying to dig a hole to China, duh. What else am I going to do in this freakin' boring world?"
"THIS IS NOT A SHOVEL, YOU MORONIC IMBECILE!" Jadis screamed, waving the wand at BJ threateningly.
BJ snorted. "What are you going to do to me? Turn me into stone?"
Jadis gave her a cold, hard look and raised her wand high…
"Wait!" Annemarie cried from behind her.
Jadis sighed impatiently and turned around. "What is it now, human?"
Annemarie gestured to the dwarf, Ginarrbrick. He was standing next to the sleigh, looking very solemn, holding his flimsy hat in both hands.
The Witch rolled her eyes. "What do you want, Ginarrbrick?"
The black dwarf cleared his throat and opened his mouth. And out came a Louis Prima song…
"I'm just a gigolo
And everywhere I go
people know the part I'm playing
Paid for every dance
Selling each romance
Oh what their saying
There will come a day
And youth will pass away
What, what will they say about me
When the end comes I know
They'll say just a gigolo
Life goes on without me
I'm just a gigolo
Everywhere I go people know
the part I'm playing
Paid for every dance
Starting each romance
Oh what their saying
And there will come a day
And youth will pass away
What will they say about me
When the end comes I know
They'll say just a gigolo
Life goes on without me
Cause I ain't got nobody
Oh and there's nobody cares for me
There's nobody cares for me
I'm so sad and lonely
Sad and lonely, sad and—"
"SHUT UP!" Jadis screamed. "Are you running some sort of conspiracy? Cursed dwarf! Get in that sleigh and drive those reindeer home before I turn you to stone!"
"B-but Jadis, I-I love you!" Ginarrbrick cried.
"Shut up!" she yelled again. "You're too short! Now get in the sleigh and drive it!" The dwarf obeyed, looking extremely dejected.
"Now," Jadis said coolly. "You four—" she pointed to the girls "get into the sleigh. Now. I'll deal with you later," she warned BJ.
The four girls piled into the sleigh at Jadis's feet. They heard the crack of a whip and the sleigh lurched forward and they were on their way.
They had been traveling for at least fifteen minutes when Licia sighed loudly. "Cripes. I'm bored! Ow! Hey, watch it, lady!" she added as Jadis gave her a sharp jab in the back.
"Sing-a-long!" Tamara cried. "Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the waaaaaaaaaaaay…"
"Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh, HEY!" The other three joined in, only to be jabbed by Jadis in turn.
"Shut up, you twerps! Oh, I can't stand humans! They smell and are too loud!"
And thus continued the ride to Jadis's castle, with many outbursts from the humans and even more jabs and complaints from the White Witch.
Hope you liked it! Now, just press that purply button down there...